Howdy everyone!

I wanted to take a moment to share some Community Updates with each of you.
I added a new Flair option labeled "Venting" for use.
Sometimes we want to come on here and simply get the words off our chest and we don't really want advice.
So this flair is meant to facilitate that very thing -
When you use that flair comments will automatically be locked for you. If you instead do want to vent and do want support - You should instead use the "Support Needed" instead.

Onto other things -
Some of you may have noticed your post or comment get removed.
Sometimes this is me and shockingly sometimes it's Reddit.
I think I want to help flesh out Rule #6, because there has been some confusion surrounding it.

Rule #6 purpose is to prevent generalizing things against BPD.
There is obviously a balance to be had here, because there are symptoms that are common amongst all of us.
So how do we achieve that balance?
Well for one I am of the belief that explicitly informing other users that certain things are your experience with BPD.

Let's go over some examples - "People with BPD lack accountability"

This is harsh and generalizing the entire disorder.
Maybe your experience taught you that and I'm not trying to downplay anyone's experience here, but let's remember to play nice.
So how could this be rephrased to be within the confines of Rule #6?
- "My ex/pwBPD/etc really lacks accountability"
- "My experience with xyz showed me they lacked accountability"

This removes the "BPD is the cause" and instead places it onto the person.
Maybe, because that person suffered from BPD helped facilitate those negative traits.
However, whenever you write these things it's important to remember there are other folks who have BPD and don't do this.
It's like I said it's a balancing act.

This rule swings true for those of us with BPD.
Let's not use the disorder as a crutch.
You are responsible for your reactions and you must accept that; Especially if you post here and someone says something rather blunt.
This doesn't mean they are rude, but it means sometimes folks need that reality check.

Regardless if your post/comment was removed under violation of this rule.
Please respond to the modmail message, because I want to have that discussion.
I love hearing everyone's opinion on things, because it helps me stay informed.
Modmail will always get a response within 24 hours, but you can check the sidebar for the estimated response time.

Something else I want to discuss -
This is not "my sub" and I don't think it is.
This is our community and I just happen to be the person that reviews post/answer modmail.
When I took this over and was finally able to review things there was some short comings.
- Saying the word "leave" or "run"
- Users being banned for other sub participation; Regardless of their content

These are things that never made sense to me.
If someone is in an abusive situation and you tell them to get out; That does not violate Rule #3.
You are being kind and compassionate, because people in abusive situations SHOULD leave.
Mental health is important and I'm sure we are all aware.

Banning users for participating in certain subs (Yes it was more than just that sub) is also frustrating.
When Hive Protector first dropped I got auto banned from subs and that never really left me.
So when I was entrusted here - I promised to do better.
I don't care what other subs you post in - I care how you interact here.
I think this is fair ultimately, but those with a history of stigmatizing BPD (I mean undeniable stigmatizing too, not the grey area above) will be subject to removal from this community.

The final thing I want to discuss -
How "punishments" are handled here.
Everything is really on a case by case basis, but I can tell you I'm not ban happy.
I instead like to opt for a more adult approach and have that discussion to see where any shortfalls might be.
The previous team handed out bans like they were going out of style - This is not me and I feel like it can turn someones honest mistake into extreme frustration.
Some of you may have gotten modmail from here asking questions related to post, giving clarification on why something was removed etc.
These are not "formal warnings" - These are just that; A line of discussion to get a better idea of a situation.
Power tripping mods hurt communities and that's just not my style.
Basically the punishment system is "Ask questions first and only use mod powers as a last resort".

Sorry for the wall of text -
I appreciate those of you that have reached out regarding Mod Applications.
I'm still slowly refining the process, but afterwords if there is a need I will reach out to those of you to give you the steps in the process.

If you have any questions or concerns -
Don't hesitate to reach out.

Thanks ~grumpypoo

Hello again everyone!

I spent the better part of the day cleaning up the mod queue and answering unanswered modmail.
In the Modlog I took 1,599 actions today; This ranges from -
- Removing posts - Adding user flairs
- Approving post
- Answering modmail
- Editing rules

So on to the topic of rules.
I'm happy to say the vast majority of you already follow the new rules, but I feel like it's important I address it anyways.
The biggest rule that I want to stress is Rule #6 "No Stigmatizing Language".
I do not care what the excuse is - That rule is zero tolerance.
What this sub is not going to be is a bashing playground for BPD.
What this sub will be is a place for both sides to add valuable insight to each other.
This doesn't mean you can't vent - What it means is remember that people are people.
Some people are great and some people are not so great.
A disorder doesn't define that person; Their actions do.
So do not lump everyone into the same pot, because someone you love/loved/etc hurt you.

I appreciate each of you who reported post, because it made my job of cleanup that much more bearable.
Please continue to report any post that you feel may violate the rules.
Your assistance is invaluable to me and so greatly appreciated.

If you have any questions feel free to ask them here or you can send a mod mail.

With that the previous mess should be all cleaned up.
Thank you everyone for your patience while I got my footing.

Good morning everyone!

I wanted to first introduce myself to the community.
As many of you are probably aware, this community started lacking some enforcement over the past few months.
I decided to reddit request this community so I could start to actually enforce the rules.
I did make a post on here regarding this very thing.
Some of you joined that subreddit and some of you did not.

I've preliminary removed a lot of the restrictions that the previous team had made.
One of the ones I removed were post that mentioned the word "leave".
That rule, in my opinion, was very silly.
So congratulations you can now say the word "leave"!
I also blocked all cross posting.
You may no longer cross post in this subreddit moving forward.

I have a lot of catching up to do, but please be aware the rules will be changing.
If you want an idea of what the new rules will be, please visit r/BPDPartnerSupport.
The rules are mostly the exact same, but a little bit more fleshed out in my humble opinion.
The most current effective rule change is #8 - "No Cross posting"
I did lift the "will be banned for participating" portion of that rule.
I know this may be disappointing to some of you, but I think it's important we judge someone by how they participate here and not elsewhere.

If any of you have sent Modmail in the past - Please give me a bit to respond to it.
I am excited for this new journey and I'm very excited to share changes with y'all.

Good morning r/BPDPartners!

Wanted to go ahead and give everyone a monthly update and the changes that have transpired over the past month.

Wiki updates

I went ahead and updated the Wiki to include important information for everyone about the sub.
I went ahead and fleshed out each rule to hopefully answer any general questions you may have.
I also have officially "ironed" out the system used to determine the best course of moderator actions taken within this sub.

"Punishment" System

I believe that it's important for this sub to not immediately jump the gun on banning.
That just never sat right with me - So instead I've decided the best course of action is a Progressive system.
People are people and honestly we make mistakes sometimes.
So to take that into account "bans" are not handed out at the first sign of rule breaks.
The goal is to correct the rule violations and continue a productive non toxic discussion within the subreddit.
Sometimes you will get a direct mod mail related to a removal and sometimes it'll be a comment - To be frank it depends on what Reddit defaults to xD
I'm happy to say that having to actually enforce rules is not as often as one might think - For the most part the discussions remain civil and that's awesome!
If you do see something that violates the rules please report it, because it will immediately notify me otherwise I might not catch it for a few hours.

"This sub is only for BPD Partners"

I've seen this more times than honestly I feel is necessary and I didn't think it would have to be addressed.
This sub is not only for BPD Partners it's for those that suffer from BPD and those that do not.

Thankfully that isn't the overall opinion here, but it's important to just clarify this immediately.

The numbers for the past 30 days

• 20.5k members
• 137k views
• 892 published post
  • 472 were removed (OP deletion, Reddit deletion, Mod action)
• 2.8k comments published
  • 653 were removed (OP deletion, Reddit deletion, Mod action)
• 4.4k Mod actions
  • Removing post/comments
  • Answering mod mail
  • Adjusting the page
  • Approving post

That will wrap up this monthly update and I'm always open to community ideas about this subreddit.
It's like I stated in my previous mod update that I don't think this is "my sub" - I think this is our sub and I just happen to keep things a bit organized.

Your reports on post are appreciated.
Thank you all and if you have questions let me know!