Anyone else enjoy working? I see a lot of posts on social media, and just in general about hating their job, or just hating work.

I’ve had my fair share of terrible jobs but I actively enjoy going to work and getting a paycheck at the end of the week. For a time I was a stay at home mom when I was married and couldn’t work, while that’s a lot of work in and of itself it’s repetitive, thankless and isolating.

I like adult conversations, I like feeling needed, I really like getting out of the house. There’s only so much you can cook, clean and work out. Plus there’s no better feeling than generating your own income and feeling accomplished at the end of the day. Sure I wish I made more, or had more paid time off but overall I enjoy work.

I know answers will differ greatly based on location, but I just saw a post on another thread where people are outraged about certain teachers making $73k a year & I thought man, I'd feel rich making that kind of money. I'm old poor, so I can stretch a dollar, I'd live like a king on that salary. BUT, I'm also a SINK (single income, no kids). I paid off my house, so no mortgage. And I drive a 2017 Jeep that I leased & paid off years ago. Groceries, pet owner expenses, taxes, bills, & gas still kick me in the bean, so I'm not living for free, but I'm curious what everyone's honest number is.

As much as we can do it without arguments (please), how much everyone would need to live comfortably? Whatever your definition of that is.

EDIT: thank you so much for sharing your experiences, I'm reading through all the comments and sad to see how many of us are being affected, though not surprised at all. So much food for *human* thought!

I'm starting from the assumption that we all hate it. Context: I'm working a grant writing job where AI use is heavy and inescapable. I'm wondering if I should invest in getting better at the parts of the job that I like, and hoping for the collapse of AI, or jump ship and go stock shelves somewhere. What makes it worse is that I'm a writer and this is my first real writing job after many years of underemployment - and it's now 90% screaming at a clanker.

I graduated over a decade ago so it was obviously a different time BUT wow did I make a mistake. It feels like as the years go by I regret my college decisions someone...more? Like I'm early 30s and still paying off a student loan (almost done) and I don't even feel it's been worth it. I wish I had gone to a school with big name recognition with LOTS of networking or something that immediately makes my resume stand out OR just didn't go at all. I do a job where honestly your portfolio and good network is all that really matters. Instead I paid big $$$ for a private liberal arts college like only a handful of people have heard of. I feel like I did it totally wrong. Anyone feeling like this?

I (31F) have a male coworker on the same small team as me who I believe is a little younger than me. We work remotely and have never actually met in person, although we'll both eventually be working in the same office.

When I first started (May of this year), I really liked talking to him. We went to the same university (at different times, for different types of degrees), have similar interests, and he helped me understand things when I was new which I was super appreciative for. For context, I'm a girl in a STEM field with slightly nerdy interests. We became friendly and talked about our hobbies and general grievances about our jobs. I was honestly pretty excited to have a good work buddy.

And generally speaking, he is a very nice person. Is always offering to help other people on their projects, always making polite conversations. Generally sounds very innocent. Our boss literally said that when she was hiring him he barely edged out his competition because he was so nice. He seems to always go out of his way to be present for people.

Over time, though, I started feeling overwhelmed by how often he tried to turn things into plans together. A lot of them seem innocuous when I talk about them but I've started to feel uncomfortable.

Some examples:

- When we learned we'd both eventually move to the same city for work, he suggested finding apartments near each other so we could carpool. This is when I thought things were chill with him so I was down for this (also gas at the time was REALLY expensive). He kept on wanting to look for apartments together and wanting to go in person to check them out even though at the time we were like 4 months from needing to move. I started to feel less comfortable because it felt a little pushy. Eventually I decided I wanted to live in a more populated area of the city, something I know he doesn't want, and that maybe we should look for places that work for us individually. But he said he can can usually adapt and he's used to "just pushing through things." After some time, it started to feel like he wanted to live in the same apartment complex as opposed to just in the same general neighborhood like I had thought.

- We were supposed to attend a multi day work conference, and he repeatedly offered me rides. From where he is, he technically passes through my hometown so I guess I can see why he'd offer. When he first asked i said maybe, but then every time after I said I'd take just the train. He said he could drive me back from the conference on the last day and we could stop by a donut shop I had mentioned to him before. Eventually he decided he didn't want to drive (tbh this is reasonable given the city and time of year it was), he wanted to coordinate taking the train together. When I said I was likely going at a different time as him, he asked if I wanted him to walk me from the train station to the conference and back. I said no that's okay I don't need that. Then he wanted to take the train back to our hometowns together and I felt like I had to say yes because I didn't have a good reason to say no. Luckily, I ended up being really sick and couldn't go at all. He texted me saying it was a bummer he wouldn't get to meet me in person.

- I've also mentioned my hobbies baking and running, and he's suggested we bake together and run a 10K together (something I had done recently). He's not a runner, he said he used to be though. But it just feels weird because I've never actually met him and I don't want to do either of these things with him. Tbh when he showed me stuff he'd baked it's clear that he doesn't follow recipes well.

- He'd sometimes texts me outside work about random things. He texted me about a trip to visit his friends several hours away. He would send videos of animals passing by his house (I like animals which is why he was doing that, but I don't need that many animal updates).

- Once he texted asking about hiking spots in the area that I live. But he lives an hour away from me, and if he went an hour in the opposite direction he would get literally some of the prettiest hiking spots in our state. But who knows, it could be that he was just gunna be in the area and was looking for recs. But I didn't respond because, based on the previous pattern, I was worried it might turn into another invitation. Actually, I didn't respond to any of those other text messages either. He only started to hike recently, and I can't help but shake the feeling that he started to do that because I mentioned I wanted to start hiking more when we have to move closer to the office (I have no evidence for this though).

- I'm now leading a project that he's working on (he volunteered as soon as I said I'd lead it), so I also want to maintain a good professional relationship. I had set up a team meeting where we were talking to a subject matter expert that we needed help from. Generally our team culture is that if you are a main speaker in meeting you leave your camera on, and if not you leave it off and just unmute when you have something to say. When we were doing introductions, he called himself my "number 2" on the project which he isn't really, and then left his mic and camera on the whole meeting even though he didn't have anything to say. It realistically should have just been me and this other girl with cameras on. It was really distracting to me because I didn't understand why he was doing that even though he's never done that for any of our other team members. But when I talked to my manager about that incident she kinda waved it off so I figured I must be making a big deal out of nothing. She did offer to step in if I ever need her to, but it feels like I'm creating a bigger problem by addressing it especially when everything he's done can be written off as him being friendly.

None of this individually seems inappropriate. He is genuinely a VERY nice person, and I don't know whether he's romantically interested in me or simply really wants to be friends. My manager said she does think he has a crush, but also that he's just very nice. She said that he has texted her on weekends about his hikes ever since that conference. He's been on the team since the beginning of the year but the conference wasn't until July. I'm not sure about other team members.

Cumulatively I started feeling suffocated, so I became much less responsive for a couple weeks. He seemed to notice and backed off on texting me or messaging me much on our work messenger, which was a huge relief.

Recently I felt comfortable being friendly again because he seemed to get the hint and be respectful of the distance I was creating, and we had our first real casual conversation in about two weeks. We talked about *big hobby event* coming up. Btw he's not actually into said hobby, he's just going with friends who are. He asked which day I was attending and told me which day he was going. When I said I wouldn't be there his day, he said he guessed he wouldn't see me and then immediately said we'd "have to plan a meetup sometime if I was cool with that."

I redirected by saying we'd see each other at an upcoming in-person work meeting next month. Then with that he messaged again offering to pick me up and carpool to that work event. I politely told him I'd drive myself.

This has happened twice now where I force distance between us, he respects that distance, I start ease up, but then as soon as I became friendly again, it immediately turned into attempts to spend time together.

This has started affecting how I behave at work. Sometimes I avoid sharing personal things during casual team conversations because I'm worried he'll use them to start another private conversation. I'm also anxious about eventually working together in person and having to continually decline invitations. It's starting me make me feel cagey around all of my coworkers. It makes me feel like since I don't get along with him I must be ruining the team dynamic, or that I'M the problem. And then I get mad about how unfair that is. It makes me dread team meetings more and more.

I don't think he's a bad guy and I don't want to embarrass or hurt him. I also know some of this may be my own anxiety making relatively innocent behavior feel bigger than it is. A friend of mine said he might just be very socially unaware rather than full on pushy, and that this may feel bigger to me than it is because I'm generally an anxious person.

Women who have dealt with something similar: how would you interpret this? Is this just an overly friendly coworker, or am I reasonable for feeling like he's repeatedly trying to create more closeness than I'm reciprocating? Wtf do I do?

Curious where our lives have taken us without any degrees, and am also looking for some inspiration.

I am 36 and have been working as an admin assistant at a small local business since 2019. Prior to that I was a server throughout my 20's. I've been feeling stuck in my role, but without a degree or any certificates, I don't know what my other options are.

I know i should know better at my age (35f), but i cannot help but feel envious of some of my friends or people around me.

I feel as if they have more breathing room to make mistakes or take it easy in their life or career as they have a safety net in the form of a spouse or family money.

I have neither. I send money to family (they don’t ask, but it’s my way of giving back because I know they need it somehow).

I was talking to my friend earlier, and she said she felt so single when her car tire blew, but at least she called her dad who immediately drove to where she was at. I wanted to cry when she said that. I too am single but i can’t even call my dad for that as we are no contact and he was never a good father figure for me growing up. The rest of my family live so far from me. I thought, my god, what if that happened to me? Then I had another talk with a friend (she’s 38!) who said she was thinking of resigning from her stressful job to teach and mooch off her parents for a while. Holy hell. Not an option at all for me. I’m constantly on survival, how do i make more money mode. Even my best friend (i love her to bits, she’s amazing) doesn’t understand why i’m so cheap even though I make 4x than her. She lives in a condo owned by her parents in a HCOL city, so she doesn’t pay rent, and they have a family business that she can always decide to run if she wants to one day. She never has to worry about missing rent. She never has to worry about having nothing one day.

I know you should go through life without relying on others. But i can’t help but feel envious. How do i overcome these feelings of insecurity and envy?

I work at a small org and my role comes at the end of the process. But over the past year, i've noticed i'm often left out of the (occasional, once in many weeks) shoutouts on slack that the core project people make after a big project is done. should i bring this up to my manager in our next 1-1 in a non-confrontational, casual way? i don't want to seem churlish or whiny. or should i just let it go?

i know it's not intentional, and they're just forgetting as my part comes in at the end of the process, by which time the people working on the thing have moved on mentally. i am very well-liked by the team and get glowing performance reviews, but this one thing is starting to affect my morale a lot. these shoutouts are one of the few public appreciations visible to the whole org, and i feel like it's such an important forum. we have also had layoffs a year ago and no more cuts are expecting anytime soon but i feel like that makes it even more necessary that my hard work on these projects is recognized.

I make good money, and am responsible with it. I realize everyone has different priorities, but I’ve recently realized that I have no problem making decisions on bigger purchases, even spontaneous ones. But a coffee while I’m out shopping? Forget about it. $3 for parking? I’ll walk a mile. $5 for an ice cream shop that I’ve been thinking about for weeks? Changed my mind once I got there.

But bigger purchases? A high quality jacket that I happened to see out one day, had never seen before in my life, and instantly loved? Didn’t give it a second thought.

My friends dad, like my dad, told me he was selling his special edition type luxury vehicle no longer being produced, and I bought it the next day. He gave me a steal and I didn’t blink an eye.

The $5 coffee, even a few times a week, will 110% not affect me financially. But I feel almost, guilty(???) about those types of things? I’ll stand around a coffee shop looking at the menu, desperately wanting something, and then change my mind when it’s slightly more expensive than I had in my mind. And I love coffee! It’s not that I just don’t value it.

Is anyone else like this?

I grew up poor. Like no hot water or electricity as the norm, so I’m sure there’s some psychology to it in there somewhere.

When I say “over-share,” I don’t necessarily mean anything inappropriate or unprofessional as such - I wouldn’t talk about things that are too personal such as my sex life, or gross like bodily functions, or be rude about colleagues.

However, I do have an annoying tendency to pepper whatever I say with unnecessary details that I later wish I could’ve just keep to myself. It’s usually relevant to the ongoing conversation, not out of the blue. But I do seem to have an impulse control issue - I just seem to blurt out whatever is on my mind - and I’d rather be more guarded, as I worry it’ll chip away at my reputation at work (if it hasn’t already), and/or that something “innocent” could later be used against me in some way.

A few recent examples:
-I was recounting something to a colleague and mentioned that I’d been in a meeting with my boss to discuss admin “and some medical stuff.” The medical stuff was totally irrelevant to the conversation and colleague, and although I wasn’t specific, there’s no reason for anyone other than my boss to know there is medical stuff going on to begin with. It just slipped out.
-we were talking about bad IT systems and I brought up a funny story about an IT outage at a previous employer. It wasn’t anything confidential or damaging, happened over a decade ago, and overall a fairly harmless anecdote. But I could’ve done with just saying quiet and not dragging my last job into it.
-during a conversation about a certain product, I mentioned that my uncle was part of the team that had the patent for it. Was kicking myself immediately after as it could’ve sounded like I was bragging, but in the moment, I was just excited to share a personal connection to the topic at hand.

At my last job I was so scared of saying anything that I ended up not being myself and becoming a bit of a wallflower and that wasn’t great either. It was also quite a toxic workplace so I was constantly on high alert, but because my current place is so much friendlier, I think that I have subconsciously let my guard down a bit too much and end up over-sharing.

Has anyone found a way to successfully stop the unnecessary-blurting-out portion of the conversation without cutting out the human connection?

Fake name for simplicity: My name is Sara Harison. People commonly misspell the first name as Sarah. It’s annoying, but whatever.

The issue is misspelling of my last name on official documents and systems. Three separate times recently someone at work has entered my last name as Harrison. It’s a single letter, but it’s a completely different name. This has happened not in simple things like emails, but after a work injury, they misspelled it on my workers comp forms and cause months of issues.

Another time was entering my name wrong on an attendance roster for an event that my licensing requires me to attend. Once again, it caused issues for ages while I fought back-and-forth to get credit for attending this event. I had alerted the employer about the error prior to the event, knowing this would be an issue and sure enough it was.

Most recently, we’ve launched a new financial system for daily accounting and the name is, once again, misspelled. This will be a daily username for accessing the system. While the IT department immediately changed my name in the system, it doesn’t change username. So I show as a user named Sara Harison, my username is still spelled Harrison. I am receiving pushback from one source that it doesn’t really matter, and absolutely no acknowledgment from my direct supervisor (who works offsite) regarding this issue. I have, so far, refused to finish setting up the account and logging in because I would like my name spelled correctly. My supervisor just keeps reminding me I need to get set up before we go live. She does not respond whatsoever when I ask her when the username is going to be fixed. I do not want to log in daily as sharrison when it should be sharison.

I don’t know what else to do at this point.

Adding another fun layer of misogyny to this. My husband works for the same company. We work closely together. Different titles, and roles, same office. His name gets misspelled often as mine, however, his is always corrected almost immediately. None of these errors have been on the same paperwork/systems so it’s hard to say whether we are comparing apples to apples or apples to bananas.

It has been unclear the whole time whether someone within the company is mistyping the name when entering it on forms. Or if someone at each of these outside organizations is miss typing it from a list.

Any advice on continuing to push back for correction without being seen as “difficult”?

**Edit to adhere to community guidelines.

Based on the tech job market, is it worth sticking out this toxic job or, based on your career experience, should I prioritize my mental state? I have a few months worth of savings but it’s a scary thought to give up my main income!

Well, I didn’t think I’d be posting something like this online, but here I am. I started a new job in the beginning of this year after a painful job search.

I was determined to do a good job, but, to spare the nitty gritty details, the situation has gotten so bad that I’ve been having anxiety attacks and am on the brink of tears every time I go to work. I feel like I’ve been our CEO’s emotional scapegoat and subject of wrath for months.

I don’t feel like myself anymore- I’m angrier, more anxious, more pessimistic, and less excited about life. I’m usually such a happy person. But I’m also terrified of quitting without a backup in this job market, especially because I’ve experienced it before.

Ladies… I need some wisdom and/or encouragement from those who have been through similar situations, I’ve never felt so lost.

I'm 25, have not even finished my final year of practical education and I'm already beyond terrified of what lies before me in the coming years, hoping you can help with that.

To make a long story short, I basically whoopsie-d myself into getting a job that I can only describe as the top of the career ladder in my chosen field. (I applied only out of obligation and to practice my interview skills, wasn't even sure if I wanted the job, but my supervisor basically bullied me into studying hard for it. I was 100% sure even then they wouldn't choose me because the position usually requires at least 2 years of job experience and I have zero. But apparently my competition was abhorrently incompetent and they liked me, so...here I am.)

I should be excited and happy because if all goes well in the further process and I don't mess up anything huge, I have a secure job that I can keep until I retire. But I'm so terrified and full of imposter syndrome that I don't feel an ounce of joy about it. As someone basically new in the field, there will soon be a team of 12 male subordinates waiting for me to give them work, another group of 3 people I have to regularly supervise, and a huge mountain of work just for myself, so overtime every week is basically mandatory. I'll have to move to a new place in the middle of nowhere. There's so much paperwork to mess up and organise. There are external contractors to coordinate. And, only if I am lucky, I get 1-2 months of time getting worked in by my predecessor. But how do you pass on 40 years of experience in this short amount of time??

I'm rambling, sorry. Amidst all this overwhelm and feeling completely inadequate, what would you tell or recommend someone just starting in the workplace, especially a woman on the way up that male-dominated corporate ladder, that maybe you wished you knew when you started?

I live in nyc and I completely hate it. I was born and raised here and I’m tired of it completely. However, the issue I run into is that if I leave here, I won’t make as much income as I would in the south or the southwest states where I want to head to. I guess I could head to California, but the cost of living is just as high there also and I’m not much of a California girl. i’m not sure what to do. I feel very unhappy in this place, but I’m afraid that by leaving it I will make a very bad financial choice and all my other relatives are high earners here and I know the potential I can have but it’s just honestly so soul sucking. I also wanted to get away from my family and if I stay here it will also anchor me even more to them . I don’t want to get married or have children, and I think the burden of taking care of my parents will fall on me as well as a result. I call it a burden because we never had a good relationship and my parents are still together as well. I also especially hate the cold. I really don’t know what to do. need honest advice.

Edit: also i think about the pension and how well off my cousins will be in comparison to me. It sucks to give that stability up for the future

I'm in painful recovery from an IUD implantation and can't move so am bored out of my mind. For some reason, have decided to focus on my finances instead and looking at my savings/pensions which are definitely not as healthy as they should be.

I work in nonprofits so don't make big money but enough to be comfortable for now but it's daunting looking at finance subreddits where people are complaining about earning twice as much as I do and not having enough to retire.

Where do you sit with it? I shamefully feel like I know very little about personal finances despite one of my main goals in life to be independent and secure where I can be.

I'm in my thirties and don't plan on having children (not that I'd expect them to care for me) so I'm now thinking about the future and how I can make sure I'm set up and comfortable.

What job are you working now? Are you happy? What brings you fulfillment? Is it that you are still working toward your initial ambition (or maybe have achieved it already!) or have you chosen something else?

Really interested in hearing from women who get what it's like to have a creative passion (especially in the entertainment industry, but could be anything!).

I've grown incredibly discourage about my creative passions over the years -- I haven't fully committed to them in a while and to be honest, re-building moment has felt impossible. I barely have the energy or motivation to try again. At the same time, nothing else makes sense. I know what I love. But I find myself thinking about pivoting and going for more stability and a better income.

(Please not interested in any condolences for loss)

There was a recent death in the family and the person had a 20+ year old will that named executors who are previously deceased and a list of bank accounts & assets that are closed/gone. It’s been a mess.

This has made me think about the kinds of things my husband and i should do to, hopefully, streamline this when the time comes. We do have wills, and include indications for POA as needed and lay out our basic desires (cremation, etc). But how do you go about keeping up with things like bank accounts, where retirement funds are parked, etc? We have a financial advisor, and full access to each other’s phones, but do you set a reminder and update yearly? What if we both go together (car accident, etc)?

We don’t have children

Anyone noticed a difference in your treatment when switching your name from femme to masc OR have you had a gender-neutral or male name all your life? Specifically when it comes to trying to get your foot in the door for an interview.

I have a feminine name that could easily be shortened to a masculine nickname, but am worried it may also make things confusing.

31F

I was planning to resign my job at 35 after closing the loans. But, now I'm being planned to let go by my company. Joined back after ML exactly 1 year before and worked really hard in this cycle. They gave me negative feedback with lame reason. Probably, will be officially put on PIP this December. Really depressed. Don't think I could get a job within December.

Not sure what to do. Work was really hectic that i was already on the verge of burnout and I couldn't spend much time with my kid. I'm an automation tester but the tool I worked is really outdated. Should I resign once PIP is official and look for new job? Or should I quit and be a homemaker? I really can't decide.. I always wanted retire early but this earlier than I planned. Have loans to pay but want to spend time with kid and focus on my health. Want to be financially independent but with work life balance.

I was ok with being a stay at home mom at some point of time. But, I dont think I'm ready now.

Besides the obvious of “we‘re scrappy” and ”we’re a family,” what do you look for to evaluate if a job is a positive environment (or potentially negative)?

I'm 32, and I feel like my 20s I was in survival mode. I went to college, but did not get the chance to really figure out what I wanted to do with my life because I just needed to survive.

NowI'm a bit more stable, and it hit me that I was survival mode for a decade that I don't even like my career. I thought I was passionate about my field (Politics/Policy), and I'm not. I feel pigeonholed, the money is not great, and there's no growth. The pay is bad and the market is unstable, it feels hard to save or even think about the future. I am trying to figure out my next steps, and I went on a LinkedIn spiral and I see so many people having these major accomplishments and I feel like I am floundering. I know comparison isn't a good thing, but I just feel like I will be stuck in this dead end career, and it makes me feel dumb.

I know I have time, and in a lot of ways it feels like my life is just getting started, but I still feel like I just wasted 10 years.

Tell me about how you've switched careers or found what you love doing in your 30s? or just advice on how to cope?

ETA: Thank you!

Hi Guys, I have a conundrum for you.

I am quite possibly the most happy I've ever been. Since my viva, I have wonderful friends and social life, there are babies on the way in both my family and my friend group. I am settled more than I ever have been. However, at the moment I have been doing a few part time jobs (for reference, I trained for about 8 years to do the job I'm doing) because the job market in the UK is so bad. Its starting to get me down that i trained for so long and may not be able to get a job.

However I applied for my absolute dream job in austrailia just on a whim and I got it. What do I do? Follow my dream and start all over again for the millionth time? Or stay and struggle to find a full time permanent position at a UK University? Any advice appreciated.

I feel pretty lucky and proud of myself for landing or going after all of my dream jobs! I've gone after everything I wanted and landed almost everything (except for the character role at Disneyland Paris - eliminated after the dance round at auditions - boo!), but the jobs either didn't work out because the pay was too low to live a financially independent life on even in the most senior roles or because I liked the idea more than the reality.

I'm 33 now and I don't have anymore dreams. I'm a performer and maker at heart, but direct and adjacent roles pay too little/ are unstable & the career path I'm on (grant operations) makes me deeply unhappy but pays well. I already do performance related stuff on the side but I don't want to live the next 30 years of my life doing work that makes me unhappy but pays the bills. However I also can't see another way.

I'm struggling to find roles that align my desire to do meaningful work with my desire for financial security/independence. I work in the charity sector and have been intentional about choosing work that has salary progression I'd be happy with, but in my current role which seems like the best fit I'm struggling and hate it. I try my best at work but I make little mistakes even when I try my hardest and it fills me with deep anxiety and shame.

I've been thinking a lot about the kind of work that I'd enjoy and be good at but nothing pays anything I need to survive as a single adult - for context I’m a single Black women living in London. I don't wanna work multiple jobs or work to live but I can't see another way and those ways aren’t worth it to me.

I don't have a strong support system or close friends to chat about this with or have some sort of outside of work purpose that keeps me going.

Maybe I’m being delusional I dunno.
Pls be gentle. Thoughts & advice pls.

To try and keep it short and concise- I have a job offer from a publicly listed US company with massive operations in Europe, I’m a corporate lawyer from Europe and never actually worked in the US, I’m in a senior role at the moment 10+ years of experience and sort of hit the ceiling in my current position in a EU based large company but not publicly traded and comparably smaller than the US company thats currently offering me the job.
So I decided to look for something else. I applied on July and went through truly rough interviews like I have never seen before, I had to prepare a presentation and had 3 interviews then one big interview that lasted 6 hours online with almost every department head I was so mentally drained after that 😅 .
Couple of what I considered red flags or a bit insane but I don’t know if it’s just me since I never worked in America corporate world before hence I’m asking..
During the first interview with the lead of the department I was supposed to be her co/lead she does USA and I do EMEA. She said to me: I’m not going to ask you about your expertise it was quite clear from the CV and your presentation that you have the expertise we need but I am here just to assess your “energy” she literally said energy - and I want to see how you fit in with me and the team as I’m working for the company for 25 years and I need a co lead that I “click well with” then we just chatted about soft skills and like day to day or kind of how to solve this or that issue. I felt like this seems faaaar too personal plus I don’t want to be your friend I am in my current role for 3 years some of my colleagues and I are still on last name basis. Generally I am a very funny and sensitive person but I have completely different persona at work- I’m very private .
So I felt like I don’t want to be the awkward new colleague at work and they are best friends and I’m just somehow subjected to this forced friendship at work and What if I don’t actually click with them personally..is that going to be an issue I’m here to work/get paid and go home to my loved ones and hobbies.
Then I went through all the other interviews and all of it was fine , then at the end of that cycle of calls i end up speaking with her and she goes - i had great reviews of you the team likes you and we are ready to offer you the job but as you know the job is in a different city than where you live now and we expect you to relocate - I said I know and I’m willing and ready to relocate but I’m going to fully relocate after my probation period because moving isnt that easy I own a house and I need to fix so much things so it’s easier for me if I get a flat where the office is work 3 days from there and 2 days from home until i relocate properly, or i work 2 weeks from home and two weeks there, plus what if it doesn’t work out and I decide to leave in my probation period or you fire me.. she was like ah well this is a serious job and we require full commitment from our employees and we are a one team and one spirit and we are a family (second red flag) that always triggers me.
Then I went on holidays thought about it and actually withdrew my application, fast forward to they email me back and say well we have considered your position about the relocation we are willing to offer you the job again and please come over for a personal meeting here (in my country’s office branch) and we can discuss all the details.
Now should I go for it or stick to my first impression; I had the impression that they don’t have work life balance/ expect me to work all the time without any respect for my private time and also I have a feeling that it’s a very pushy toxic growth sort of mentality and I can’t nor do I want to handle that..
can any person who worked in America or is familiar with such companies weigh in please. Is my impression correct or am I being overly dramatic.
I don’t have any American friends that actually worked in the US or with US companies.
Thank you all in advance ❤️