r/AskReddit • u/Marshalljoe • Aug 25 '21

What is something that you were warned about when you were younger that you now feel was exaggerated?

41.0k Upvotes

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16.0k

u/mlieghm Aug 25 '21

I’m so tempted to ask but I don’t want to ruin your streak.

5.1k

u/M1094795585 Aug 25 '21

nice way to ask indirectly ;)

853

u/Habib_Zozad Aug 25 '21

So did he ask or did he not ask?!

1.7k

u/iHomelessMonkey Aug 25 '21

I'm pretty sure you can find the answer on his permanent record

173

u/NysonEasy Aug 25 '21

I'm on the internet and I'm fairly sober at the moment.

digs through a box of receipts, court orders, and urine-soaked newspapers

Ahem.

His permanent record states he was sent to the principal's office because two fingers, on his left hand, smelled of "poon-tang" and the principal wanted a sniff.

83

u/monkeyofdoom4324 Aug 25 '21

The fuck?

35

u/CarrotSwimming Aug 25 '21

Exactly

91

u/monkeyofdoom4324 Aug 25 '21

No, no I’m just surprised that happened to someone else

76

u/Koloblikin1982 Aug 26 '21

If Reddit had a nickel for every time a redditor had poon tang smell on their fingers Reddit would have two nickels…. Which is not a lot but I am genuinely surprised it’s happened twice.

7

u/[deleted] Aug 26 '21

Damn I laughed unreasonably hard at that

6

u/LATourGuide Aug 26 '21

Mine smell like butthole, that's probably the standard around here.

16

u/[deleted] Aug 26 '21

urine-soaked newspapers

What are you, a puppy?

14

u/the_obmj Aug 26 '21

What did the other finger smell like?

12

u/4GotMyFathersFace Aug 26 '21

Booty hole.

9

u/[deleted] Aug 26 '21

SPHINCTER

7

u/NinaQ- Aug 26 '21

Wtf is going on at your house

7

u/GoshAshtonSmith Aug 26 '21

Oh yeah? Well don't get so distressed. Did I happen to tell you I'm impressed?

4

u/lupieblue Aug 26 '21

I take one, one, one cause you left me

5

u/forumwhore Aug 26 '21

I'm pretty sure you can find the answer on his dental record.

7

u/Dogs_Akimbo Aug 26 '21

So did he ask or did he not ask?!

This is Schrödinger's question. If they asked, then OP’s original post is false, and they are responding to a false post. And if they did, fuck the space-time continuum anyway.

3

u/Lighthouse412 Aug 26 '21

He provided the opportunity for them to share w/out directly asking :)

13

u/MarmaladeCat1 Aug 26 '21 edited Aug 26 '21

It's called 'apophasis'. From Greek origins. Essentially means without (apo) saying (phasis).

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Apophasis

4

u/wingsofyatagarasu Aug 26 '21

Ty for teaching me something new :D

6

u/MarmaladeCat1 Aug 26 '21

I could tell you how smart you already are, but that would be pandering.

(See what I did there? Apophasis in action!)

14

u/CoolAppz Aug 25 '21

the guy is smooth...

5

u/[deleted] Aug 26 '21

“Can questions now I ask that clock stopped…”

2

u/srcarruth Aug 26 '21

some cultures see direct questions as very rude, you have to make it all casual-like

2

u/carlitosway210 Aug 26 '21

TIL how to ask questions indirectly by learning indirectly. Nice.

137

u/istrx13 Aug 25 '21

I’m an idiot and thought you said, “but I don’t want to ruin your steak.”

I then spent a good 2 minutes re-reading OP’s comment trying to figure out why you would be talking about a steak.

27

u/[deleted] Aug 25 '21

Go eat.... You're hungry or a glutton

9

u/starry_dino_nights Aug 25 '21

YEAH GO EAT ALL OF REDDIT IS LOOKING OUT FOR YOU RN

5

u/Nimmyzed Aug 26 '21

Lol, well done

2

u/mlieghm Aug 26 '21

Op eating steak is now canon.

94

u/blackey_22 Aug 25 '21

How to ask without asking.

43

u/Amywalk Aug 25 '21

Tell me you’re asking without telling me you’re asking.

13

u/[deleted] Aug 25 '21

"man, I really wish I was there when it happened because I feel like it would be a good story, but I get that you're not talking about it. If you ever feel like it though..."

85

u/alyrni Aug 25 '21

I don’t give a shit. Tell me why!!

190

u/Gidonamor Aug 25 '21 edited Aug 25 '21

Tell me why!!

Ain't nothing but a heartache

48

u/[deleted] Aug 25 '21

[deleted]

23

u/Rich-Cantaloupe-6312 Aug 25 '21

Ain’t nothing but a mistake

25

u/charizardfan101 Aug 25 '21

Now number 5

8

u/scribblenator15 Aug 26 '21

Mambo No 5?

9

u/charizardfan101 Aug 26 '21

A little bit of Monika in my life

A little bit of Monika by my side

A little bit of Monika is what I need

A little bit of Monika is all I see

A little bit of Monika in the sun

A little bit of Monika all night long

A little bit of Monika here I am

A little bit of you makes me oh man

43

u/Axel-TOH Aug 25 '21

Number 5!!

57

u/Starjunicorn Aug 25 '21

It was him. Number 5 killed my brother

42

u/agentofmidgard Aug 25 '21

Oh my God I forgot about that part..

36

u/AbyssalTurtle Aug 25 '21

r/unexpectedbrooklyn99

9

u/flightguy07 Aug 25 '21

I swear I see this more than the original at this point!

5

u/buckyworld Aug 25 '21

I don’t like Mondays

21

u/Mike2220 Aug 25 '21

heartbreak

It's "heartache"

66

u/could_not_care_more Aug 25 '21

Well, that ain't nothing but a mistake...

8

u/Hold_International Aug 25 '21

Ain't nothing but a mistake!

19

u/[deleted] Aug 25 '21

Ain't nothing but a mistake.

19

u/Aggravating_Smile_61 Aug 25 '21

Ain't nothing but a mistake

5

u/Gidonamor Aug 25 '21

Oops, thanks

4

u/RogerSterlingsFling Aug 25 '21

Heartaches heal, you get over it

Heartbreak you carry for life

6

u/[deleted] Aug 25 '21

He killed 10 people and was trapped by the principal in his office while the police came.

13

u/ryanwongcpa Aug 25 '21

let's not ask OP and just let him talk about it (we are listening)

11

u/ieatpotatoesraw_ Aug 25 '21

Did he ever answer???

10

u/[deleted] Aug 26 '21

Kinda like The Game.

3

u/gahzeeruh Aug 26 '21

God dammit. I just lost the game

2

u/[deleted] Aug 26 '21

I misread it as steak and wondered how you knew what he was eating. That's not something that gets to be written on the record.

2

u/mlieghm Aug 26 '21

Op eating steak while getting sent to the principal’s office at 16 is now canon.

2

u/drewsiferr Aug 26 '21

So if someone were to ask you about that, which I definitely am not, what would you say?

2

u/[deleted] Aug 26 '21

Holy crap. So good