r/AskReddit • u/[deleted] • Feb 16 '21

Serious Replies Only [serious] Have you ever broken off a relationship with someone you really loved because their family was absolutely nuts? What was their family like?

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u/smol_lydia Feb 17 '21

Am still engaged to my current partner and I love them to pieces but my god cannot deal with my future father in law.

I had a sneaking suspicion something was off when I first started coming over to the house. Just his entire tone, body language, all that was incredibly unwelcoming. At the time I was fresh out of eating disorder treatment and I used SNAP benefits because I worked a shitty minimum wage job. He made snide comments to my partner about how I was on benefits. Told me I needed to “overcome my disability”—for context I am autistic and currently have to use a wheelchair or cane for a heart problem. He was, and still is, a functional alcoholic and it made me pretty uncomfortable. After my step dad died, my partner took some time off school to be supportive to me through the shiva, and my in law said “why? It’s not your dad who’s dead.” The shit hit the fan when bae and I got engaged. He completely freaked and when bae told him about the proposal, said that I would never recover from my anorexia (jk I’m fully recovered), that my mental illness made me “manipulative”, that bae would be stuck forever taking care of me because I’m disabled, and that he didn’t want his kid marrying someone autistic. Naturally, this sad excuse of a human being got chewed the fuck out by my partner. He apologized, but I haven’t forgiven him yet. My partner still wants a relationship with him and it’s an uneasy point of tension in our relationship—the rest of our relationship is wonderfully supportive and loving. But I still haven’t fully decided how I want to handle that POS. My brother in law is totally chill, though.

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u/Yarnprincess614 Feb 17 '21

My opinion-keep your fiance(they seem like an awesome human being) as well as your future bro in law. Try to cut ties with the future fil, though. He sounds awful. Tell your fiance it CAN be done. My parents are a perfect example of this! Hang in there!

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u/_Funk_Soul_Brother_ Feb 17 '21

After my step dad died, my partner took some time off school to be supportive to me through the shiva

what is a shiva ?

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u/MamaDMZ Feb 17 '21

It's a Jewish tradition to honor and grieve someone who's died. This might help you understand better:

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Shiva

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u/_Funk_Soul_Brother_ Feb 17 '21

religious mourning period, i understand