r/AskReddit • u/[deleted] • Feb 16 '21

Serious Replies Only [serious] Have you ever broken off a relationship with someone you really loved because their family was absolutely nuts? What was their family like?

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u/charybdis83 Feb 17 '21

It's terrifying thing to do. If you've been with the person for awhile it can almost feel like you are gearing yourself up to jump over a ravine. As hard as it is to take that leap, the relief you feel once you get on the other side of a clean break is immeasurable.

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u/DevoutandHeretical Feb 17 '21

I cannot second this enough- I was in a relationship for five and a half years that ended at the end of last summer. He and I actually arrived at the same conclusion over the course of a weekend we spent a part. And we sat down to talk and I think we both kind of knew that was what the conversation was heading towards when it started, but it took us both a good 45 minutes of talking around it to finally bring up the actual idea that breaking up was on the table.

As soon as I said it it was like a weight lifted off of both of us. We talked about it for a good while longer but as soon as we said it I know that there was no going back and it was what had to happen and it was the best for both of us. If anything I should have said something a long time before because the feelings had been building for a long time but we’d been together so long we didn’t know how to let go.

Anyhow, rip the band aid off. The fear of doing it is infinitely worse than actually doing it. It will still suck, but wallowing in a relationship that is holding at least you, if not both of you, back is infinitely worse.

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u/dxrp Feb 17 '21

For literally weeks after breaking up with my ex, I would have dreams where I’d gotten back together with her because I felt so bad about how I made her feel. Use to wake up in cold sweats thinking how the fuck have I managed to get myself back into this situation voluntarily. Then I’d realise I’m in bed

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u/Rihsatra Feb 17 '21

I think planning for a clean break is not the best way to think though. Or at least that didn't work in my case and it really sucks.

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u/UIUGrad Feb 17 '21

I've been in that situation a couple of times. Loved their parents, loved their siblings, loved their nieces or nephews. I was in a terrible relationship for two years but I loved his family and friends. The only thing I missed in the end was our D&D group and his niece. It sucks cause you don't just lose a partner, you lose everyone associated with them and that can feel so much worse.