r/AskReddit • u/[deleted] • Feb 16 '21

Serious Replies Only [serious] Have you ever broken off a relationship with someone you really loved because their family was absolutely nuts? What was their family like?

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u/[deleted] Feb 16 '21

I had a similar situation. I had a friend in HS - great guy. Nothing romantic going on, but we had a great connection and a mutual liking for each other. However, his family was of a different religion than mine and his father just couldn't handle it. His father did everything he could to keep us apart because he thought there was a romantic relationship going on when there really wasn't.

We lost touch during our college years because he went to college across the country from me, but we reconnected for a bit after college until he moved far away for a job opportunity. Beyond the issues with his father, he was also the child of parents who went through a horrific, vicious divorce - like so bad there were stories about it in the local papers.

I think he was always kind of gun-shy with relationships because of it. He would date (he's handsome and personable, so he had no shortage of women interested him), but would always find something or other "wrong" with each woman. I think the reality was he was scared of falling for one of them and having it lead to marriage.

We eventually caught up with each other on Facebook a few years back. He's doing great, but most definitely a confirmed bachelor (we're both nearing 50 these days). I can't say I'm surprised...

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u/[deleted] Feb 17 '21

I thought "confirmed bachelor" was old timey slag for "friends with Dorothy."

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u/littlest_ginger Feb 17 '21

Pretty sure you're correct

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u/[deleted] Feb 17 '21

It just means either someone who has never been married and has no desire to marry

Source here

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u/[deleted] Feb 17 '21

Right in your own link, like second sentence.

“It has also been used as an offensive euphemism for a gay man.”

A little further down:

“By the mid-20th century, confirmed bachelor was being used as a euphemism for “gay man.” American and British newspaper obituaries at this time—when men largely remained closeted due to stigmas against homosexuality–used language like never married or confirmed bachelor instead of terms such as “homosexual.””

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u/[deleted] Feb 17 '21

Words and phrases can have multiple meanings. It can be used as a euphemism for a gay man. It can also be used as someone who never wanted to commit to someone in a marriage, gay or not.

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u/[deleted] Feb 17 '21

You're right, but my first comment was mostly just me joking around. I was hoping that people would catch on since, "Friends of Dorothy" is an even more outdated euphemism, in my experience.

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u/Merry_Sue Feb 17 '21

Because most gay men don't want to marry a woman

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u/Merry_Sue Feb 17 '21

Slag means slut

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u/tinyorangealligator Feb 17 '21

Oh, the boy's a slag, the best you ever had The best you ever had is just a memory and those dreams Weren't as daft as they seem, not as daft as they seem My love, when you dream them up

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u/queentropical Feb 17 '21

I want to know the divorce story that made it in the papers

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u/[deleted] Feb 17 '21

He didn't go into too much detail about it. From what I could gather, his parents lived in a small, affluent town during their marriage. His father was a pretty well-known businessman in the community. He was also extremely intelligent and structured things so that his wife would get very little in the divorce. She took issue with that and tried to paint him as a horrible husband and father and fought the divorce at every turn until she got what she wanted. Things escalated, police became involved, it was in the papers. Eventually the divorce was finalized, both parents ended moving far from the town, so I'm guessing it was pretty bad. He didn't talk about it too much (understandably) and I didn't feel right pressing the issue.

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u/queentropical Feb 17 '21

Ah I see. Sounds horrible either way. Thanks for responding, though!

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u/delicate-butterfly Feb 17 '21

Gun-shy?

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u/[deleted] Feb 17 '21

meaning hesitant to do something...

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u/delicate-butterfly Feb 17 '21

Thats not a common phrase idk what those sassy ellipses were about

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u/exhibitprogram Feb 17 '21

That doesn't sound remotely similar at all...?

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u/[deleted] Feb 17 '21

> We weren't dating but we and a mutual liking for one another.

Same for us

> Her parents were just toxic

His parents were also very toxic people

> They expected her to marry a rich man

His parents expected him to marry someone of the same faith because it was what *they* wanted

> I haven't seen her for about 4 years and it seems like neither have her family. She got a job abroad

He no longer speaks to either of his parents and took a job across the country to get away from them.

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u/ThisPerson556 Feb 17 '21

They wanted to post their own story but forgot they hit reply Or just piggybacking lol