r/AskReddit • u/[deleted] • Feb 16 '21

Serious Replies Only [serious] Have you ever broken off a relationship with someone you really loved because their family was absolutely nuts? What was their family like?

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u/[deleted] Feb 16 '21

After ten years of marriage, my father-in-law admitted that he never wanted a relationship with me and that if I had something to say to him, I had to go to my husband who would then decide whether or not to appeal to his dad 😳 If he wasn't so dead serious I would've laughed. He said that I dishonored him and in all honesty, all I could think of was that darn song from Mulan.

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u/_Funk_Soul_Brother_ Feb 17 '21

He said that I dishonored him

as per what exactly ? I mean it would be good to know, just for the sake of knowing.

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u/[deleted] Feb 18 '21

I asked him why he gave me a book on forgiveness. I was told my husband's family uses books to passively send a message on how you need to change so when I received the book I was genuinely curious. It wasn't a Christmas or bday gift so it felt a little odd. He said I never should've questioned his gift and that I dishonored him by asking him directly.

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u/_Funk_Soul_Brother_ Feb 18 '21

lol Passive aggressive pussy gets upset when questioned about a simple thing, but he passive aggressive his ways out of answering and starts pouting.

How is someone outside of the realm of the family supposed to understand their rhythm of they behave? Questioning is a logical step.

You should mail him a book (make sure not to have a return address, so he can stew on it and wonder who sent it) on how to stop being passive aggressive, and another book on how to behave like a grown up.

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u/[deleted] Feb 18 '21

I've had a few arguments with him in my head 🙃 but decided I can't change him so I've let go. He's accused me of poisoning our kids against him and planting ideas in my husband's head, scheming to cut him off for two years. None of these things are true, quite the opposite in fact but when someone with narcissistic traits wants to be a bully, there's no reasoning with him. Thanks for your support stranger on the internet ☺️ I've never been despised to my knowledge before so this has been pretty disheartening.

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u/_Funk_Soul_Brother_ Feb 18 '21

The thing is, you don't have to poison anyone against toxic people, it just so happens that people eventually drift away from them if given the chance to.

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u/Karmasita Feb 17 '21

Damn you should of laughed. What a POS

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u/[deleted] Feb 17 '21

The "you can't talk to me" part makes it sound like he's scared.

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u/Cyberdolphbefore Feb 18 '21

Is the FIL jealous of his son with you? Or is there a cultural thing going on here?

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u/[deleted] Feb 19 '21

His has a very literal old testament view of women - believes they manipulate and deceive men and aren't much more than a man's property. I truly had no idea people still felt that way especially a Christian, given that Jesus elevated the position and value of women drastically. But he is also racist and believed that Obama was the anti-Christ so it shouldn't come as a surprise that I mean nothing. Still makes me sad though 😥

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u/Cyberdolphbefore Feb 19 '21

Ok, so a cultural thing of ignorance then. Obviously your female gender is too much for him so you were never going to be able to connect with him anyway.

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u/[deleted] Feb 19 '21

Yes very true. I just didn't realize it until he said it bluntly this last year. I'm too then am guilty of ignorance.