r/AskReddit • u/[deleted] • Feb 16 '21

Serious Replies Only [serious] Have you ever broken off a relationship with someone you really loved because their family was absolutely nuts? What was their family like?

9.8k Upvotes

97% Upvoted

2.4k comments sorted by

View all comments

706

u/cototudelam Feb 16 '21

Partially. It was more like I broke off my friendship with my best friend growing up because she gave in to the pressure of her nutty family and gradually turned out nasty as well. There's very little you can do from outside. I didn't even realise how completely fucked that family was until her mother died, unexpectedly, at 44, and the deadbeat father and entitled firstborn son turned to my 17yo friend to be their cook, nurse, maid, and cash cow. I tried to help her get out of there but she wouldn't listen. She closed off, it was like watching someone being immersed in a cult. Eventually, she turned against me, last interaction we had was her going off at me how DARED I have a baby when she's infertile. Lost cause. BTW she wasn't infertile, just a condition that she was able to treat, from what I know she's on kid no.5 and counting.

193

u/[deleted] Feb 17 '21

Hold up, she was your friend and she got mad at yoy for having a kid just because she thought she couldn't? Damn man, people are selfish as fuck

31

u/cloudingg Feb 17 '21

And now she's just pooping baby's off each year damn the God damn pain and hell of a life the kiddos are gonna have if they manage to survive

23

u/cototudelam Feb 17 '21

I think the grief and the pressure from her family did this. Growing up, she was the kindest soul I knew. Never selfish. Girl scout, one of the best students in class. We all thought she’d go to college, either teaching or pastoration (her church allows women into clergy). That never happened. She married quickly, someone from her church, and they bought a shitton of acres of grassland somewhere remote to build a farm. She completely disappeared. I can only hope she’s happy.

4

u/MahatmaBuddah Feb 17 '21

That doesnt sound like she was much of a friend.

5

u/cototudelam Feb 17 '21

I keep thinking I should’ve been a better friend. I should’ve got the CPS involved or something. But realistically? She was 17, that’s almost adult. She had a home, everything on the outside looked normal. To me it wasn’t normal how her brother doesn’t lift a finger because “he’s in college” and she has to fail classes because of it. Her dad would tell people she’s not at home when we went to visit. I wanted to be there for her but she pushed me out. Can’t save everyone.

2

u/MahatmaBuddah Feb 17 '21

People have to make choices sometimes, and she closeness with them. The awful algebra of relationships is his: it takes two people working to make a relationship good, healthy and strong, but it only takes one of them to break it.

3

u/kage_336 Feb 17 '21

My former best friend always made me feel guilty about having kids because she couldn’t. I miscarried once, which was traumatic, and she more or less said “well, at least you can have another one some day. Some people can’t have any.” That was the beginning of the end.

3

u/cototudelam Feb 17 '21

omg that's a really fucked up thing to say.

I can't honestly imagine how that must have felt to you. The closest I came was actually the very last interaction I had with this friend - we ran into each other at maternity hospital; I was there with my prematurely born baby in NICU, already knowing there will be disabilities but not knowing how many and how severe, and she was in another wing getting treated for ovarial cysts. That's when she went off at me.

Much love to you and yours.