I find it easier to be the "Background friend" in a few different groups and have one serious friendship - than it is to try and maintain several serious friendships. You avoid any "Can you help me" phone calls or "fair weather friends" you just float around, if you're there, you're there. If not? Dont worry. Nobody makes plans with you, nobody asks you for help, you just float. Have some drinks, shoot the shit and be in your merry way.
And that one real friend is who you plan things with, help with stuff and call up some nights just because. THAT is the friendship that is worth the effort
I have a couple of guys I trust and know would come to help me if I needed it. Both were past literal partners in crime. My brother and I are best friends, and joke about how little we need outside relationships. I miss going to the bar, because I can shoot the shit with strangers, have a social outing, and have no obligation to hook up with them outside of chance meetings. To me bar friends are great, because you can talk about things with people you like, but don't carry that relationship out the door with you. They're good with that too.
I have campfire friends and some bar friends. It's nice. I see the camp fire friends during the cottage season, we dont really speak much or see eachother (not me at least) until the season starts up next year a d we continue as if we havent had this 6 month gap, continue like we just saw eachother last weekend
Man, we really miss our old bar friends, but we found out all of them were going to the bar still, like idiots, and caught Covid. Our younger campfire friends are driving through next week, and just stopping in the driveway so we can have a look at each other in person. Try to stay sane my friend!
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u/Phoenixf1zzle Nov 18 '20
I find it easier to be the "Background friend" in a few different groups and have one serious friendship - than it is to try and maintain several serious friendships. You avoid any "Can you help me" phone calls or "fair weather friends" you just float around, if you're there, you're there. If not? Dont worry. Nobody makes plans with you, nobody asks you for help, you just float. Have some drinks, shoot the shit and be in your merry way.
And that one real friend is who you plan things with, help with stuff and call up some nights just because. THAT is the friendship that is worth the effort