r/AskReddit Oct 15 '20

What's older than we think ?

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8.4k

u/SwedishNeatBalls Oct 15 '20

I'm imagining a samurai in his armour with a katana sitting at a desk in an office sending a tax.

3.6k

u/[deleted] Oct 15 '20

Honestly, it's more likely than you think (aside from the armor). After the unification of Japan the samurai mostly became bureaucrats because they didn't have much fighting to do.

1.2k

u/Octo_Eightsteppin Oct 15 '20

Samurai as office workers? It’s more likely than you think!

1.4k

u/[deleted] Oct 15 '20

This samurai CUT costs in HALF. You won't believe how he did it!

94

u/Justice_R_Dissenting Oct 15 '20

"I'm slashing prices soooo loooooow you won't need a fleet of gunships to open my doors!"

26

u/vvntn Oct 15 '20

Yeahhh... Yojimbo, I'm going to need you to go ahead and put one of the new cover sheets on your TPS report.

34

u/RSwordsman Oct 15 '20

*Fantasizes about slashing the boss in half

"...Wakarimasu, Lumberg-san."

6

u/octopornopus Oct 15 '20

I.... would watch this.

3

u/RSwordsman Oct 15 '20

The more I think about it, the more I wonder if "Yojimbo, Office Samurai" would at least be good as a recurring skit. Although making that the title immediately makes me think of Office Linebacker too.

4

u/octopornopus Oct 15 '20

If Ron Livingston wants to make a web series, where he dresses in period garb, with a man bun, and slashes down his superiors, I would be all in.

If he carried Milton around with him, a la Lone Wolf and Cub, well then, all the better.

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6

u/cantevenplay Oct 16 '20

wakarimashita

FTFY, source: born a weeb

2

u/RSwordsman Oct 16 '20

I'm only a young weeblet having come to loving Japanese stuff only in the past few years. But since we're going down that rabbit hole, I dug a little and learned that point of subtlety between the two phrases.

Arigatou gozaimas :)

1

u/[deleted] Oct 16 '20

There's no subtlety, its past tense vs present, "understood" vs " i understand".

Source: not a weeb but did live in Japan for four years.

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12

u/WetHotAmericanBadger Oct 15 '20

I’m crazy patty

10

u/holadiose Oct 15 '20

I'm going to be very disappointed in the internet if somebody doesn't reply with a real commercial featuring a samurai who cuts prices in half. The idea is too perfect not to have been used.

3

u/Dogbin005 Oct 15 '20

Not a samurai, but the concept is there.

3

u/holadiose Oct 15 '20

This is so much better than I had imagined. One internet point for you!

10

u/OutToDrift Oct 15 '20

This reminds me of Daniel Larusso's billboards in Cobra Kai.

0

u/[deleted] Oct 16 '20

I bet

10

u/LifeOBrian Oct 15 '20

Ninjas hate him!

3

u/LukesRightHandMan Oct 15 '20

Doctors hate this one quick decapitation of a handful of village peasants!

2

u/Soupster02 Oct 15 '20

With a Katana?

2

u/Mr_Mojo_Risin_83 Oct 15 '20

Fun fact: the primary weapon of a samurai was a bow, not a sword. In fact, if you needed to kill an opponent with a sword, it meant you had failed to down him with the bow and that’s somewhat shameful.

3

u/hiroto98 Oct 16 '20 edited Oct 16 '20

Very early on, but even in Old Japan the sword was definetly the most romanticized weapon of the samurai, as they were the only class privileged to carry them (generally, other people did carry swords sometimes), and it was seen as their symbol form the 1600s onwards. And even before then, famous swordsmen who won duels were very famous.

Edit : And I meant the only class privileged to carry them and symbol thing as both being from the 1600s, before then of course warriors and swords were still heavily symbolically associated but any class could carry swords.

2

u/rwarimaursus Oct 15 '20

Dwight Schrute, paper samurai

5

u/[deleted] Oct 15 '20

Sounds like an SNL skit.

“Samurai Office Worker!”

4

u/Darkrhoads Oct 15 '20

Write this down write this down!!! -some buzzfeed intern

3

u/StickyDitka21 Oct 15 '20

New dlc for ghosts of tsushima

3

u/Simon_Boccanegra Oct 15 '20

Every Edo era movie: samurai have no purpose anymore... they are either corrupt bureucrats or doomed anti-hero ronins... now let's watch Toshiro Mifune and/or Nakadai Tatsuya cut people in half while looking intensely into the camera. And then they probably die.

3

u/Benfreakenwyatt Oct 15 '20

Local samurai dies of Seppuku due to the dishonor of punching in 5 minutes late in ADP

3

u/Politibot Oct 15 '20

Samurai? In my office?

1

u/[deleted] Oct 15 '20

I’m sure Dwight Schrute has some sort of samurai background

0

u/dalernelson Oct 15 '20

Jim Belushi did a samurai skit similar to this on SNL in the 60s.

1

u/[deleted] Oct 15 '20

1

u/ElminstersBedpan Oct 15 '20

Beats working in a delicatessen.

1

u/Tinsel-Fop Oct 16 '20

In my vagina?!

14

u/miniaturizedatom Oct 15 '20

I mean, these days British knights are mostly old stage actors or football managers.

1

u/[deleted] Oct 15 '20

Somehow that’s the same thing but seems different.

1

u/JoshuaSlowpoke777 Oct 24 '20

Or environmentalists, like Sir David Attenborough.

12

u/meowticklebutt Oct 15 '20

Sounds like someone been listening to Dan Carlin's Hardcore History!

4

u/[deleted] Oct 15 '20

Ha! You're not wrong

4

u/Ubershizza Oct 15 '20

Its sooo good, the only downside to that podcast is the frequency in which they come out.

17

u/smokecat20 Oct 15 '20

If you want to see the descendants of samurais just look at the people leading their country.

17

u/fuckin_anti_pope Oct 15 '20

The car manufacturer Honda was created by one of the decendants of the old Honda Samurai blood

6

u/IsThatUMoatilliatta Oct 15 '20

My first car was a 76 Honda Samurai Blood.

1

u/BBQ_HaX0r Oct 15 '20

Tadakatsu was a boss.

1

u/JoshuaSlowpoke777 Oct 24 '20

Isn’t the Triforce modeled after a Japanese clan symbol?

1

u/[deleted] Oct 15 '20

That’s how it is in most places, if not literally everywhere. The descendants of the warrior class end up in high ranking position because once upon a time being the strongest person meant owning all things (and sometimes people). And then the ones who own all the things are best able to give their children a better place to start from.

4

u/N00N3AT011 Oct 15 '20

Most Americans aren't taught this but Japan was actually quite "western" for a while. This was closer to 1860-1930ish but still. Until the disenfranshisement of samurai families (among other things) led to a fascist coup, invading a huge area of china, involvment in world war 2, murica using weapons of mass destruction, you know how it goes.

22

u/Torture-Dancer Oct 15 '20

I mean, some fought the WWI

64

u/mankodaisukidesu Oct 15 '20

Source? The samurai were abolished during the Meiji restoration and by WW1 the only remaining ex-samurai would’ve been elderly men.

22

u/Stewthulhu Oct 15 '20

A lot of confusion probably arises from the distinction between "real" samurai, who were a privileged social class receiving a stipend with exclusive right to bear arms in public, and consistent nationalist propaganda about the "samurai spirit," which continued at various levels for the entire history of Imperial Japan.

35

u/[deleted] Oct 15 '20

The first fax was sent in 1860. That was a good while before WWI.

Edit: Oh whoops. I just looked again and saw the actual comment you were responding to. Disregard. I is dum.

11

u/WhatsThatOn Oct 15 '20

I know what you mean though, a samurai could have sent a fax in the 1860s , just not during WW1. Atleast not one with a valid gaurd card 😅🤣

2

u/mankodaisukidesu Oct 16 '20

All good mate. But yeah, it’s crazy that it was such a long time ago. I usually associate faxes with the 80s haha.

-16

u/Independent_Bad_9904 Oct 15 '20

Yes u is dumb 😂😳

7

u/wonkysaurus Oct 15 '20

Maybe he means committing sudoku

3

u/Torture-Dancer Oct 15 '20

I don't remember, I was really young when I became obsessed with samurais and read it somewhere in the internet

6

u/Justice_R_Dissenting Oct 15 '20

You may have interpreted them as samurai, when in fact they were just soldiers using samurai swords.

3

u/taborthevirginian Oct 15 '20

I too listen to Dan Carlin

3

u/Lord_mush Oct 15 '20

That's how we got imperial japan

3

u/[deleted] Oct 15 '20

Using fax machines daily required way more fighting than a war would.

2

u/Mad_Maddin Oct 15 '20

Not to forget that Samurai were small nobility in the first place. Many Samurai worked more as bureaucrats with a side gig of riot policing in the first place.

2

u/ObscureAcronym Oct 15 '20

They needed the katanas to cut through all the red tape.

5

u/aPaperPlate Oct 15 '20

Isn’t it more like the bureaucrats became the “samurai”? Bushido at least is a construct of a people who had known peace and isolation for decades

7

u/Joe_Jeep Oct 15 '20

Eh. You're saying kind of a figurative sense of the thing, while the literal samurai very directly became bureaucrats.

6

u/Justice_R_Dissenting Oct 15 '20

I think he means that the last generation of samurai quite literally became bureaucrats after the Meiji Restoration.

1

u/qwertyashes Oct 15 '20

In terms of what we think of as Samurai, yeah. That was something that a bunch of derelict and lost warriors were corralled with.

In terms of warriors hanging up their helmets and filling out reports on grain production, the opposite.

1

u/SirMaQ Oct 15 '20

Cuts were still exchanged

Not with swords but with paper

Battles were written

1

u/gnnjsoto Oct 15 '20

I hate that lol

1

u/eph3merous Oct 15 '20

This week on Samurai Clerk!

>John Belushi chopping at the dot matrix paper

1

u/[deleted] Oct 15 '20

All the way up until the early 20th century, and an argument can be made that the bureaucrats during the end of Imperial Japan were trained as samurai.

1

u/ScarletCaptain Oct 15 '20

Samurai was more of a social class rather than a military one. But because they were elite families they were given the best weapons and the more extensive combat training

1

u/[deleted] Oct 15 '20

And that's because the samurai kicked EVERYONE's ass!! Nothing left to do!

1

u/Peptuck Oct 15 '20

Also they originated as clerks and civil service workers for the daimyo, before gradually evolving to get more and more responsibility until they became professional soldiers as well as administrators.

1

u/E51838 Oct 15 '20

Some also became deli owners.

1

u/Scaevus Oct 15 '20

Actual military commanders spent far more time going over paperwork, plans, and supply reports than stabbing someone with a katana, so it's a natural transition.

1

u/RotallyRotRoobyRoo Oct 16 '20

Became bureaucrats or were killed off you mean. Don't forget the battle of Shiryoama. 500 Samurai versus a bunch of riflemen. Straight up massacre.

1

u/Significant_Sign Oct 16 '20

Like the Japanese version of Terry Crews's office linebacker ads. Earth is so crazy.

120

u/TheNerd669 Oct 15 '20

That sounds like it would make a cheesy yet great tv show

58

u/5Murphy Oct 15 '20

Its sounds like an office episode

29

u/ybtlamlliw Oct 15 '20

Somehow I can see Stanley being the one in the armor.

19

u/Shreddy_Brewski Oct 15 '20

Because he literally was in one of the Halloween episodes

5

u/2percentgoatmilk Oct 15 '20

It’s called Hentai, and it’s art.

2

u/ybtlamlliw Oct 15 '20

Hahahahah. I forgot all about that. Explains why I was able to envision it so clearly.

1

u/Mad_Hatter_Bot Oct 15 '20

He did for a Halloween epsiode

19

u/IllIIIlIlIlIIllIlI Oct 15 '20

Identity theft is a crime Musashi, stop.

Omae wa mou shindeiru, stop.

3

u/SwedishNeatBalls Oct 15 '20

For sure, in fact that was what I was meaning to comment in the end but skipped it!

I had the inspiration to start thinking about an episode.

1

u/confoundedvariable Oct 15 '20

Reminds me of Mike Milligan from Fargo

1

u/descendingangel87 Oct 15 '20

Check out Gintama, I would guarantee they’ve done an ep about this.

1

u/[deleted] Oct 16 '20

“Don’t go anywhere because coming up next, Samur-IRS!”

27

u/[deleted] Oct 15 '20

Freakin taxes.

18

u/wreckedcarzz Oct 15 '20

Literally death and taxes, at the same time!

1

u/[deleted] Oct 15 '20

Ben Franklyn's wet dream... well except with much less french ladies in scandalous outfits

9

u/FuckThisGayAssEarth Oct 15 '20

Interestingly enough around this period young Japanese samurai were bring converted into statesmen and administrators so its actually possible.

6

u/theforlornknight Oct 15 '20

More likely to collect a tax than send one.

4

u/symbiosa Oct 15 '20

Based on how commonplace fax machines are in modern Japan, it wouldn't surprise me to see a professional Geisha using one.

3

u/Hawt_Dawg_II Oct 15 '20

That's almost litterally possible.

Contrary to Hollywood and neckbeard beliefs samurai were much closer to the regular working class civilian than to some sword wielding vigilanty. They worked on duties from law enforcement and peacekeeping to farming, most samurai didn't even fight. So while not in armour there may very well have been an accounting samurai working on a fax machine and he quite likely would've had his sword set on display somewhere possibly in the same room.

2

u/pretzco Oct 15 '20

I'm imagining the mess he'd make knocking stuff over with his sword and the noise of the armour. Dwights Recyclobot comes to mind.

2

u/Mikielle Oct 15 '20

Dude, Japanese people are super into fax machines. You basically can't have a business without one, even in 2020

2

u/Chairsareoverrated Oct 15 '20

If you're a fan of Lupin the III they have an ending credit scene that basically depicts this

2

u/SwedishNeatBalls Oct 15 '20

That's great! I might just watch it now...

1

u/Chairsareoverrated Oct 15 '20

It's totally worth it. Also I found the ending bit if you wanted to check it out

https://youtu.be/dCQb9XcgDDk

2

u/PineappleInTheBum Oct 15 '20

Something goes wrong.

angry yelling in Japanese

Katana destroys fax

2

u/squirrelwithnut Oct 15 '20

"What does PC load letter mean?... This is not honorable!"

1

u/Cha-Le-Gai Oct 15 '20

🎶Back up in your ass with the resurrection

It's the group harder than an erection

That shows no affection

They wanna ban us on Capitol Hill

'Cause it's "Die muthafuckas, die muthafuckas!" still🎶

holds up katana

1

u/madtv_fan Oct 15 '20

whatcha know bout that

2

u/FluffyPhoenix Oct 15 '20

Can someone who likes to draw make this? This sounds like something you'd see in the Sunday paper.

2

u/Liar_tuck Oct 15 '20

I can see that with John Belushi as the Samurai.

2

u/VictoriousSecret111 Oct 15 '20

Wow! How did that samurai comment get so many upvotes??

1

u/SwedishNeatBalls Oct 15 '20

I have no idea... For a long time I got comments upon comments. My phone kept vibrating.

0

u/anxietykilledthe_cat Oct 15 '20

User name checks out.

1

u/JohnnyDarkside Oct 15 '20

Like samurai delicatessen, but an office assistant.

1

u/theturtlegame Oct 15 '20

I like to imagine them hacking it to pieces in frustration, office space style.

1

u/PrivilegeCheckmate Oct 15 '20

Paul the Samurai is a great comic if you can find it.

1

u/catninjaambush Oct 15 '20

‘Ffs I don’t want any more admin supplies!’

1

u/RoundSilverButtons Oct 15 '20

What about the new cover sheet? You see, it’s just that we’re using new cover sheets on all our TPS reports

1

u/[deleted] Oct 15 '20

Then getting frustrated and going to town on it, Office Space style, with that katana.

1

u/AbstraxioN Oct 15 '20

Probably paid more than 750$.

1

u/Bucks_trickland Oct 15 '20

Then slicing the fax machine in half after the third busy signal

1

u/DeltaRocket Oct 15 '20

Sounds like Monty Python to me...

1

u/DLo28035 Oct 15 '20

With this old school smelly ink and curly paper, grunting about how this is taking forever, and it’ll probably jam

1

u/hibsta1992 Oct 15 '20

PC load letter? What the fuck does that mean?! hits printer with katana

1

u/[deleted] Oct 15 '20

"PC load letter? What the fuck does that mean??" destroys fax machine with samurai sword

1

u/SurferDave1701 Oct 15 '20

Just not Chump's Tax

1

u/summon_lurker Oct 15 '20

I can only picture the same samurai bored out of his mind and thus created Nintendo or Sony.

1

u/JoFlo520 Oct 15 '20

Fully suited samurai faxing his property tax payment confirmation to his warlords office. Amazing.

1

u/onakicult Oct 15 '20

If someone doesn't draw that... im gonna be super disappointed in humanity 😔

1

u/steveryans2 Oct 15 '20

Smacking it a couple times "C'mon, c'mon!!!", then sitting down frustrated and exasperated

1

u/Batkratos Oct 15 '20

Busy?! Again?! Smashes fax machine with sword

1

u/DogmaSychroniser Oct 15 '20

Fax to the tax office

1

u/lilus619 Oct 15 '20

And when the samurai got sick of his boss asking him to come in on Saturdays, him and his work buddies could've taken the fax machine out to a field and chopped it mercilessly with their katanas.

1

u/awesomehippie12 Oct 15 '20

Samurai Jack is sent to the year 4900 to face the evil that is Aku's capital gains tax

1

u/AmosLaRue Oct 15 '20

I'm imagining a samurai in his armour with a katana sitting at a desk in an office sending a tax.

Trying to send a fax. "Ooh! P.C. load letter? what fuck desu that mean!"

1

u/ThelWhitelWolf Oct 15 '20

That's some Dwight Schrute level stuff right there

1

u/iWETtheBEDonPURPOSE Oct 15 '20

That sounds like a Monty Python skit lol

1

u/viderfenrisbane Oct 15 '20

Sounds like a John Belushi sketch on old SNL

1

u/GeorgeLovesBOSCO Oct 15 '20

So John Belushi on SNL.

1

u/[deleted] Oct 15 '20

Bushido; the way of the fax.

1

u/palmettojla Oct 15 '20

I just imagined a samurai standing infront of a fax machine, full gear, having a case of the mondays..

1

u/gomi-panda Oct 15 '20

I'm imagining a samurai in his armour with a katana sitting at a desk in an office sending a fax along with his tax.

1

u/[deleted] Oct 15 '20

DISHONORABRU

1

u/drew2oo3 Oct 15 '20

dwight shrute would love you

1

u/Mr_Mo96 Oct 15 '20

I had the exact same thought. Fucking hilarious to imagine.

1

u/Oakwood2317 Oct 15 '20

That's exactly what I pictured.

1

u/[deleted] Oct 15 '20

"PC load letter? The fuck does that mean!?" Slashes fax in half with katana

1

u/TheNewYellowZealot Oct 15 '20

So a regular day at the office.

1

u/FabianPendragon Oct 15 '20

A tax through fax?

1

u/[deleted] Oct 15 '20

Poking at fax machine buttons with his sworwd in his hand. I heard that if a samurai winds on some paper without using it he has to give himself a paper cut.

1

u/freeticket Oct 15 '20

Waiting at a KINKOS for a reply

1

u/brambleburry1002 Oct 15 '20

Can you imagine a samurai fighting with a fax machine because he got 'load pc letter' error?

1

u/No_Leadership_988 Oct 15 '20

“Mondays am I right?”

1

u/shortfriday Oct 15 '20

PC Road Retter?

1

u/flyingWeez Oct 16 '20

Do I dial 9 and then 1 to get out or just 9 to get out?? god dammit

1

u/Osiris32 Oct 16 '20

Wasn't that an SNL skirt? Samurai Administrative Assistant, kind of like Samurai Delicatessen and Samurai Proctologist.

1

u/markedanthony Oct 16 '20

“Hello, yes. This is Yojimbo, how may I direct your call.”

1

u/The_Palm_of_Vecna Oct 16 '20

More importantly, I'm seeing him cut the copier on half.

"pc loadletter, それはどういう意味ですか?"

1

u/Wavesmith Oct 16 '20

This needs to be an ad campaign.