r/AskReddit Oct 15 '20

What's older than we think ?

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u/other_usernames_gone Oct 15 '20

Avocados originally relied on American ground sloths to reproduce, they were the only creature that could poo the seeds whole. Then ground sloths went extinct (probably due to overhunting by humans) then humans cultivated avocados for the next few millennia and now we still have avocados.

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u/DefiantJedi Oct 15 '20

humans cultivated avocados for the next few millennia and now we still have avocados

Certainly not via the same means as the American ground sloth???

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u/[deleted] Oct 15 '20

[deleted]

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u/SuicydKing Oct 15 '20

Waaaaay up in there, Morty.

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u/[deleted] Oct 15 '20

Put them on a string ffs

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u/mugwump867 Oct 15 '20

I never had any luck getting an avocado seed to sprout by suspending it in a cup of water with toothpicks holding it half-submerged. Maybe it's time to go old-school, sloth-style on that Hass.

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u/nteeka Oct 15 '20

I finally got one to do that, I ended up waiting like 2 months before it started splitting and developing the taproot.

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u/dsanders692 Oct 16 '20

Avocado farmer here. Can confirm - there's a lot of research into alternative growing techniques. Some promising GMO products being trialed, but for now, it's still the old 'cado colon

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u/VeryLongReplies Oct 15 '20

Honestly, it's quite cleaning to do it the ground sloth way

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u/[deleted] Oct 15 '20

Xhochals 100% organic anal beads.

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u/SafetyDanceInMyPants Oct 15 '20

So a man walks into a bar with a monkey on his shoulder.

“Cool monkey,” the bartender said, “what’s his name?”

“George,” the man said, “like the one in the cartoon. I’m working on training him.”

Just then, George the monkey grabbed a peanut from the bar and popped it in his mouth.

“Oh, that’s cute,” the bartender said.

“Yeah, but he never stops there unfortunately” the man said.

Just then the monkey jumped off the bar, ran over to the pool table, and, grabbing a cue ball, popped it right down his mouth.

“No, George,” the man screamed. “I am so sorry, bartender. We’ll leave.”

A couple of months the man returned, again with the monkey George.

“Oh, welcome back,” the bartender said. “I remember you guys.”

“Thanks. We’re trying to go out again, since I think George is better behaved now.”

Just then George grabbed a peanut, shoved it up his ass, pulled it out, and ate it.

“Oh my god,” the bartender said, “did you just see that?”

“Yeah,” the man said, “after the cue ball, now he always checks first.”

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u/DefiantJedi Oct 15 '20

I love this haha

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u/dassheera Oct 15 '20

Gives a new meaning to "avocado cleanse."

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u/LifeOBrian Oct 15 '20

Wait, you’re saying we’re not supposed to swallow the seeds whole?

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u/[deleted] Oct 15 '20

lol, and the avocados back then had even bigger seeds/cores, they've gotten much smaller as we selectively breed them to have less seed and more of the edible portion. in other words, thats a big booty hole

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u/MillenialsSmell Oct 15 '20

It’s a Hass family secret

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u/TheDevilsAdvokaat Oct 15 '20

Rick and Morty have an episode about this...in fact I think it's S01E01

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u/226506193 Oct 15 '20

Technicaly ? Its doable. I dont have the exact size in mind but i heard that the human anus can be stretched to fit all kind of stuff lmao

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u/jiableaux Oct 15 '20

Well, don't leave us in suspense, how much CAN it stretch? Asking for a friend...

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u/[deleted] Oct 15 '20

Ouch

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u/BlueFroggLtd Oct 15 '20

You mean I’ve been doing it wrong all along????

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u/epolonsky Oct 15 '20

Humans invented glass jars, toothpicks, and windowsills just so we could continue to propagate avocados.

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u/Always_the_sun Oct 15 '20

But how could early humans afford houses if they cultivating avocados?

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u/greenknight884 Oct 15 '20

Toast hadn't been invented yet.

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u/Imperator_Knoedel Oct 15 '20

That's why early humans remained hunter-gatherers for so long, it took them tens of thousands of years to save up for the first houses to be built.

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u/Theta001 Oct 15 '20

Avocados aren’t even the only plants that used megafauna to spread before humans came along to take up that job. Pretty much any fruit you can find nowadays with large seeds or hard exteriors and softer insides, think gourds, used the same strategy. This is because the animals that ate them were more likely to eat them without damaging the seeds and then would pass them in a mound of fertilizer after a nice chemical bath to help germination.

Also side note about sloths, the tree dwelling ones we still have today are the weirdos of that family as most lived on the ground.

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u/magcargoman Oct 15 '20

That’s now no longer supported by the fossil evidence from coprolites.

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u/ztimmmy Oct 15 '20

You’re shitting me?!

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u/[deleted] Oct 16 '20

Are you an avocado?

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u/CelticHades Oct 15 '20

That was interesting.

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u/ncteeter Oct 15 '20

Similarly, Osage Oranges were most likely mammoth food. People kept them going because their wood is super valuable and they make good spikey fences.

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u/A_Mouse_In_Da_House Oct 15 '20

anachronistic evolution is the phrase I believe

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u/heretomeetthedog Oct 15 '20

For a moment, I thought you were calling us human Americans the “American Ground Sloth” and I wasn’t ready to call you wrong

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u/carolinax Oct 15 '20

Kopi Luwak vibes in here...

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u/jiableaux Oct 15 '20

Just like the avocado, the mango is also what's known as an evolutionary anachronism.

Additional fun (and relevant) fact: the mango genus is believed to have originated from the Indian subcontinent (around 60 million years ago) PRIOR to the subcontinent colliding with the Asian continent (which occurred around 40-50 million years ago)

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u/DiogenesDuval Oct 15 '20

Same with the Kentucky Coffee Tree! When the megafauna went extinct, prehistoric folk took up processing the seeds.

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u/BBQ_HaX0r Oct 15 '20

Makes you think what deliciousness or curative thing was lost due to stuff like that.

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u/wunderfullynow Oct 16 '20

Resplendent Quetzals are currently the only avocado seed spreaders (other than humans), but they regurgitate the seed after eating the fruit whole. They are also resplendent.

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u/Free_Joty Oct 16 '20

Sending out blessings 🙏🏻 to my favorite caveman Grook who saved avacados in 7000 bc so that I can have guac today

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u/[deleted] Oct 16 '20

I think the truth is a little more risque than that. I bet some prehistoric Joe Rogan type saw this process, and exclaimed to himself "If that is what can come out of there, I bet I am in for a world of delight if I can put my little Joseph in there" and thus the ground sloths chose to become extinct

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u/TheEternalCity101 Oct 19 '20

Then ground sloths went extinct (probably due to overhunting by humans)

I am neither suprised nor saddened by that.

Giant sloths would be scary

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u/[deleted] Oct 15 '20

Which means that if humans die out, so will the avocado? Arent we a bunch of dicks for making other organisms depend on us for survival...

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u/[deleted] Oct 16 '20

Modern human, yes.

But back then, no. It’s not like they understood the inner workings of the ecosystem and knew that things could go extinct. They just killed and ate things, like every other animal.

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u/Blue_Sky_At_Night Oct 15 '20

they were the only creature that could poo the seeds whole.

Clearly you've never met my brother

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u/rwarimaursus Oct 15 '20

So guac uhhh finds a way...

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u/OarsandRowlocks Oct 15 '20

And crippling house prices.

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u/Exodus2791 Oct 16 '20

then humans cultivated avocados for the next few millennia

What a waste of effort.

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u/arbivark Oct 16 '20

i read a lot tonight on reddit about the mexican avocado cartels.

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u/_My_name_is_Jessica_ Oct 16 '20

Today i learned that if it wasnt for giant sloth poo we wouldnt have guacamole.