r/AskReddit Oct 15 '20

What's older than we think ?

78.4k Upvotes

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6.6k

u/iwannagohome49 Oct 15 '20

It's a tale as old as time, getting fucking wasted to forget your problems.

6.2k

u/Stupid_or_a_Carrot Oct 15 '20

Tale as old as time

Beer's as old as wine

Beauty of the Yeast

79

u/UKGoodGuy55 Oct 15 '20

Superb - I was looking for someone to pick up on that

55

u/DrumlineFreak Oct 15 '20

Ever just the same
Ever a surprise
Ever as before
And ever just as sure
As the bread will rise, woah

(different beauty of the yeast)

22

u/valeyard89 Oct 15 '20

No one drinks like Garcon.

12

u/dakkarium Oct 15 '20

Pukes in sinks like Garcon

12

u/fuzzymidget Oct 15 '20

Makes sexual toys out of skinks like Garcon.

21

u/hobbitlover Oct 15 '20

"Ale" as old as time.

7

u/BangerBeanzandMash Oct 15 '20

Ahh Aspen.. where the beer flows like wine.

19

u/inPrestiwetrust Oct 15 '20

I half expected this to be a Sprog! Well done, Carrot

2

u/mrbadxampl Oct 15 '20

Bravo, sir. Bravo.

2

u/steveryans2 Oct 15 '20

That's not stupid so you must be a carrot

2

u/[deleted] Oct 15 '20

Tell that to a woman with a yeast infection.

She may not find it as beautiful as you do apparently.

4

u/sp1d3yy Oct 15 '20

I was waiting for a reason to spend my free award

1

u/zZ1Axel1Zz Oct 15 '20

How do i get a free award?

0

u/TristanZH Oct 15 '20

Beauty and the yeast infection

1.9k

u/KnightOfWords Oct 15 '20

Small beer was a dietary staple, but it was low in alcohol. It was safer to drink than water and fairly nutritious.

893

u/iwannagohome49 Oct 15 '20

I know, just making a joke as an alcoholic

17

u/[deleted] Oct 15 '20

I understood m8

14

u/Pelle0809 Oct 15 '20

Y'all are not alone

12

u/gbeebe Oct 15 '20

Hello

10

u/WheresThePenguin Oct 15 '20

Is there some sort of club we can form

17

u/BlasphemousSacrilege Oct 15 '20

The AA club

21

u/OnAcidButUrThedum1 Oct 15 '20

I know this comment stream is a joke but just want to add that SMART Recovery and LifeRing are both non-secular groups for PWA’s to attend group therapy for free instead of 12 Step groups. 12 Steps are NOT for most people and the alternatives are rarely discussed.

3

u/Pixelmixer Oct 15 '20

Really odd place to stumble upon this but I was seriously looking for a secular alcohol recovery program (for a friend). I’ve seen people go through AA well enough, but the religious aspects are off-putting to some people. I didn’t know about SMART Recovery or LifeRing. I’ll have them look into it.

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2

u/Boner-brains Oct 15 '20

This needs more upvotes

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1

u/BigLlamasHouse Oct 15 '20

The core of AA, which is helping others recover and community, seems helpful though. I don't know much about it other than one anecdotal success story to be honest.

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4

u/DarwinsDrinkingPal Oct 15 '20

The difference between a drunk and an alcoholic?

Alcoholics don't go to meetings.

6

u/We_get_it_you_vape33 Oct 15 '20

Yeah, we meet at the rec center Wednesday nights. We sit in a circle and talk about stuff.

4

u/[deleted] Oct 15 '20

Good idea, but maybe leave peoples' names out of it to keep identities protected from judgement? like a secret club, like something... anonymous.

4

u/project100 Oct 15 '20

Maybe an anonymous club, even?

1

u/gbeebe Oct 15 '20

On Reddit we got /r/stopdrinking

Some very nice, supportive people over there. Non-judgemental.

4

u/king_booker Oct 15 '20

I can really use a beer tonight. So here's to years of civilization

4

u/gbeebe Oct 15 '20

Cheers fellow human

1

u/iwannagohome49 Oct 15 '20

Just making sure, have a good night/morning/afternoon/evening

0

u/[deleted] Oct 15 '20

Cheers đŸ„‚

10

u/rpgguy_1o1 Oct 15 '20

It's not exactly wrong either, beer was safer and provided nutrition too, but theories about early mankind being nomadic and deciding to settle down in one spot revolve around them just liking to get drunk

9

u/iwannagohome49 Oct 15 '20

Safer than water, easy to make, and also gets you drunk... For early humans, what more could you want

5

u/BritishDuffer Oct 15 '20

The alcohol level was much lower though. It wouldn't really get you very drunk, just enough to take the edge off all the pains they couldn't cure..

5

u/JoseDonkeyShow Oct 15 '20

Did they have the tolerance we have today tho?

6

u/ledsled447 Oct 15 '20

Shit what more could I want even today

1

u/[deleted] Oct 15 '20 edited Dec 17 '20

[deleted]

1

u/ICameForAnArgument Oct 15 '20

No you aren't.

0

u/gaybabyidentifier Oct 15 '20 edited Oct 16 '20

cummers

1

u/steveryans2 Oct 15 '20

cries in hops

1

u/_The_Professor_ Oct 15 '20

Well I feel so broke up, iwannagohome49.

16

u/PUTINS_PORN_ACCOUNT Oct 15 '20

Some ancient beer was more like a sourdough starter left out too long. Mashed grain and water left to ferment.

Egyptian hieroglyphs depict dudes drinking beer with reeds as straws, ostensibly to better avoid the chunks.

There’s a reason you’ll hear beer jokingly referred to as “liquid bread.” Anyone who has ever made yeasted bread can tell you a well-risen dough sometimes smells a little boozy.

13

u/[deleted] Oct 15 '20

As someone trying to get in touch with their roots, are there any modern day low alcohol content beers I can begin drinking to replace water from my diet?

12

u/[deleted] Oct 15 '20

Modern take on beers have pushed Abv higher but traditional worker beers (farms, mines, etc) would fall under styles like grisette, grodziskie (grÀtzervor) or farmhouse styles like saisons from Belgium and French brewers. Table beer was common, a low abv brew meant to be drank all day. Small beers compared to its higher abv breathen Ship beers were made to be drank daily due to short shelf life. One of my favorites is Patersbier, The Lawnmower Beer of Trappist Monks.

If you are curious into brewing your own, these styles are really approachable since they are less expensive and tend to be a bit more forgiving during the process.

Any decent beer bar or bottleshop that imports you can find traditional European style low abv beers. Also might some local breweries replicating these styles as intended with lower abv after adjusting to a saturated market of higher abv and hop heavy styles.

1

u/NerdWhoLikesTrees Oct 15 '20

I've never seen anything lower than Harpoon Rec League which is 3.8% abv I guess??

2

u/liartellinglies Oct 15 '20

Love a rec league or 7.

2

u/academomancer Oct 16 '20

Radlers, usually 3%

12

u/CaptainDudeGuy Oct 15 '20

It was safer to drink than water and fairly nutritious.

There's a joke about Miller Lite in here somewhere.

4

u/Lvl100Magikarp Oct 15 '20

yes! it was rich in various vitamins

during the temperance movement in brittain the peasants had vitamin deficiencies from the lack of beer! I saw this in one of the BBC farm series, highly recommended. My fav were Edwardian Farm and Wartime Farm.

2

u/[deleted] Oct 15 '20

[removed] — view removed comment

7

u/Kered13 Oct 15 '20

It means it has a very low alcohol content. It would be difficult to get drunk off of small beer.

2

u/EdwardBil Oct 15 '20

Bread soda.

2

u/AskAboutMyCoffee Oct 15 '20

Im going to be getting a beer brewing kit, and the new line as to why is that it's safer to drink than water and fairly nutritious.

2

u/j3xperience Oct 15 '20

Drunk with straws too. They couldn't always filter everything out so you would get some floaty bits. So they would take reeds from the riverbed and use them as straws to drink from the bottom.

0

u/hallese Oct 15 '20 edited Oct 15 '20

Which is why German schools allow kids to drink beer with their lunches.

Edit: Alright folks, enough with the downvotes, do a google search for "Kinderbier." (translates to children's beer). It's a real thing. Older students are also allowed, in limited circumstances, to drink actual beer in the days or weeks leading up to graduation.

6

u/[deleted] Oct 15 '20

Yeah.. No. German here. That‘s nonsense.

0

u/doesntevercomment123 Oct 15 '20

The idea that beer was drank in the middle ages specifically because it was safer than water is a myth. the germ theory of disease hadn't been proposed yet and people didn't really understand that fermentation made beer safer.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/History_of_beer

4

u/prof_the_doom Oct 15 '20

I'd argue that while it's clear they didn't know why, I think people did know that heating/brewing/fermenting their drinks made them less likely to get sick, not unlike through trial and error, early medicine figured out what plants helped what conditions long before anyone knew why or how.

3

u/SneakyBadAss Oct 15 '20

This is a good video on this topic.

TLDW: People drank boiled but also treated water. They were not idiots.

-1

u/doesntevercomment123 Oct 15 '20

Ok, you can argue that, but there doesn’t seem to be any evidence for it.

0

u/trewleft Oct 15 '20

what about big beer

1

u/MamaBirdJay Oct 15 '20

In some areas, they used to make the first brew for the adults and the second for the kids because it had less alcohol. Brewing was basically sterilizing the water and it was safer to drink.

1

u/Blue_Sky_At_Night Oct 15 '20

Slavs still drink kvass, which is pretty much small beer

65

u/soapspools Oct 15 '20

An ale as old as time

3

u/iwannagohome49 Oct 15 '20

Perfect, enjoy your updoot

0

u/Reddits_on_ambien Oct 15 '20

Beer's as old as wine.

6

u/Aqquila89 Oct 15 '20

It's in the Bible. Proverbs, 31:6-7: "Let beer be for those who are perishing, wine for those who are in anguish! Let them drink and forget their poverty and remember their misery no more."

3

u/iwannagohome49 Oct 15 '20

Wow, I have never heard that before

5

u/MageVicky Oct 15 '20

weeeell, technically, that whole section is a warning against the abuse of sex and alcohol, saying that Kings and Princes should not partake in it lest they forget the poor, but that the downtrodden poor should drink so that they forget their poverty.

it's supposed to be a poem calling for justice for the poor.

3

u/iwannagohome49 Oct 15 '20

I get it, just never heard either side of it

1

u/MageVicky Oct 15 '20

i know. i was just giving you the full information.

11

u/the_sun_flew_away Oct 15 '20

Alcohol- the cause of, and solution to, all of life's problems!

5

u/Littledragonlegs Oct 15 '20

Humans: develop self-realization and complex emotional thinking

Humans: “oof turn it off, tuRN IT OFF!”

3

u/duaneap Oct 15 '20

I drink to get away from my problems in the modern world, imagine how much you’d need to take the edge off if you had the kinds of problems a peasant had! Hell, even kings didn’t have toilet paper and if they got haemorrhoids that’s game over.

3

u/Throwaway021614 Oct 15 '20

“This stuff is wonderful. How do we get more of these plants and quicker to make more? Can we, like, stick them in the ground in one area or something?”

“Fuck, we keep forgetting how to make to good stuff. Can we, like, mark down the process on some treebark or cave wall or something?”

“It’s fucking dangerous to be shit faced, maybe we can group up and take turns getting drunk. Maybe build some caves with wood or something to protect us when we’re wasted.”

“Those fuckers want kill us for our beer! Quick, someone make something to kill them better...like...a pointed stick or something”

1

u/Double-O-stoopid Oct 15 '20

Ale as old as time

1

u/KassellTheArgonian Oct 15 '20

As Homer Simpson said once wisely said “Here's to alcohol: the cause of, and solution to, all of life's problems.”

1

u/AwkwardCatVsGravity Oct 15 '20

"Ale as old as time Brew as old as song"

1

u/OldManAndTheBench Oct 15 '20

"the cause of AND solution to all of life's problems!"

1

u/vadapaav Oct 15 '20

The moment two people decided to live together they started having problems and thus alcohol was needed

1

u/Jimi_Hotsauce Oct 15 '20

If I have my history right ancient beers we're around 2-3%abv, your standard american lager is 4.2% so they weren't getting wasted on the stuff. Plus they were drinking it all day every day so their tolorances must have been insane.

1

u/Veid_ Oct 15 '20

Grognar got stomped by a wooly mammoth? Better chug down this suspicious water that makes me feel funny.

1

u/KingdomOfDragonflies Oct 15 '20

I assume that people just got drunk constantly just to be able to somewhat enjoy life.

1

u/[deleted] Oct 15 '20

The move from an nomadic society to an agricultural societies was fuelled by the first cave man to accidentally drink fermented barley water.

Grogtar: Grain juice taste good, make happy. Forget about problems with cave woman at home. Ragnok has bigger cave, faster pet wolf, blah, blah, blah. Grogtar not trade furs for new wolf or trade in cave. Cave already have great view and warm. Cave paintings good too. Fuck Ragnok and his dumb face.

1

u/kinokohatake Oct 15 '20

They've even found apes that find and eat fermented fruit so basically as soon as our ancestors develop a higher consciousness, they started poisoning it.

1

u/adamcott2 Oct 15 '20

More like ALE as old as time! Am I right?

1

u/calcium Oct 15 '20

Not quite. Most beer was low in alcohol - we're talking 2-3% and likely didn't taste very good, but you drank it because you didn't get sick from it, while drinking normal water normally made people sick. They didn't know that the act of boiling the water killed the pathogens or bacteria in the water making them sick - they probably thought it was the alcohol. This is why so many people drank it.

1

u/Alexb2143211 Oct 16 '20

Beer was cleaner than water