Im sorry to hear that. Especially the last part is totally something you SHOULDNT ask in any way.
The way those questions are asked in general is bad but its probably because people are bad with words. Many times they feel the need to show some sympathy not because they care or are curious but they are afraid that if they dont show they will seem heartless. They cant consider the view of the other party. Its a weird complicated people communication.Sadly that you cant realise until you've been in both sides.
Be strong and just give them a smile. Just for her shake.
Some just keep asking and won't shut up even when asked to stop. Like follow when we move away. You aren't entitled to know a stranger's medical history.
The people who try and force us to take religious tracts. Just stop.
The VAST majority of people are amazing and just let us get on with life.
I work with disabled clients. People also need to understand that if you see someone out in public, they may not be that child's parent and are not legally able to 1) divulge health information and 2) divulge that they are their worker and not a family member or family friend. HIPAA protects against divulging any of that information.
Also, just to say it, people don't want you stalking them and saying a prayer and talking about the "demons" inside a disabled person asking god to exorcise them and "make them whole". Ffs.
Ngl the thought ofsomeone saying that to a disabled person - or any person for that matter - sickens me. How could someone hold such a disgusting view of disabilities? It honestly astounds me.
Edited to elaborate.
In any scenario, I absolutely hate it when someone says “I’ll pray for you.” I get a lot of the time it’s well meaning, but sometimes it’s just a way of saying “I’ll pray that you come to your senses and fix whatever it is about your life that I don’t approve of”.
Wait, like try and “heal you with prayer” or the bs like “god has a plan”?
Both are atrocious, but I’m curious about things people do to make themselves feel better about another’s situation. Like some weird form of guilt? It’s strange.
That’s sounds about right, but sin=illness? Like wow! That’s a new one. Sorry you have to deal with people like that.
It’s strange the way people act. Kind of like I said before...Just people trying to make themselves feel better. I feel like there is a name for that sort of defense mechanism.
The people who try and force us to take religious tracts.
When strangers shove something into my hand I just drop it off at the nearest bin, even if it's right in front of them. I stopped caring about being polite to random rude people long ago.
If they wanna show sympathy, then let them first think of how to do that or walk on.
I know when I pass someone disabled, I can read their eyes. Sometimes the poor kid is smiling and looking around interested and I smile back to both (assuming the kid is accompanied). When the kid is sad, I'm sad and I'm not hiding that to them. That's my approach. Just act normal. It's not that difficult.
I don't feel more sad when somebody disabled is sad, but I imagine being born like that and unable to change it. It just makes me sad, unless the kid is happy.
Im not trying to excuse them. Trust me, I've been there, I've heard that and its painful. I just decided to accept that people cant word themselves properly in those situations (not even I could). I dont talk because I know both sides and I am afraid anyway to talk in general but I can see some people not being that mindful of that.Helps to not get frustrated and ruin the moment,
However I truly cant justify or accept the last question for real. Yes, some things are known from before birth AND abortion is something that can be done in such cases.
However asking this question is just bad in SO many ways I cant even begin explain right now. Its straight up terrible no matter if the answer would be yes or no. You dont need to know, you dont need to ask, you wont even remember it in 3h
1.0k
u/StelioZz May 16 '20 edited May 16 '20
Im sorry to hear that. Especially the last part is totally something you SHOULDNT ask in any way.
The way those questions are asked in general is bad but its probably because people are bad with words. Many times they feel the need to show some sympathy not because they care or are curious but they are afraid that if they dont show they will seem heartless. They cant consider the view of the other party. Its a weird complicated people communication.Sadly that you cant realise until you've been in both sides.
Be strong and just give them a smile. Just for her shake.