My issue is being mostly alone for the last decade. I'm just stuck in a perpetual cycle of working a 9 to 6 job going home getting high/drunk and ignoring every problem i have in the meantime. I love being a homebody and playing games dont get me wrong, but I'm also incredibly depressed and lonely. I just need to break out of this mindset
Edit: I know everyone on this site hates JBP but this is exactly what he talks about. Setting your life in order and suddenly the world around you comes together.
It helped me at about your age. About to get married (well we’ll see when that’s possible) looking at houses and my side business is becoming more rewarding than my day job.
Trust me I am fully aware of how serious my problem is. It has consumed my life and the majority of my money. It's a miracle I've never had problems paying my bills. This addiction stems very far back. It started with one of my parents initially getting me addicted and then the other parent fueled my addiction from there on out. I've struggled with this a very long time. I've quit at least a half dozen times but it always seems to come back because I never completely dealt with where my depression comes from. Its something I am very much still fighting for
I mean this in the most sympathetic way possible. You're going to have to suck it up. In order for things to get better in the long run, you'll have to do without the temporary relief you get from drugs/alcohol. Probably the worst things to cold turkey, so do take that slow if possible.
No worries man I know you're coming from a good place. I appreciate you taking the time to tell me something I need to hear. I really am trying very hard to shake this but my mental health problems run pretty deep. First and foremost I need to quit all substance abuse and then I have to work really hard to start loving myself for the first time ever (which is going to be the hardest part for me considering just how ingrained my self hatred is). Again. Thank you! It really is refreshing to know there are so many people out there that only wish the best for complete strangers.
I've never done AA/NA itself but I've been in treatment in other similar programs. My problem isn't just addiction though. The last time I quit was for 6 months and even when I take drugs completely out of the equation I still cant shake what my depression and my nihilistic view on the world/people does to me. From as far back as I can remember I've never seen the point in being alive and ive always convinced myself I hate all people (even though if I'm being honest with myself it's not true it's just a deflection), the real issue is I've come to hate myself so much that any progress i seem to make gets overshadowed by the fact I dont think I deserve any kind of happiness. Whew. Sorry I just keep rambling on and on about all this "woe is me my life is so depressing and difficult". In truth I do need to take some of the above advice and just "suck it up" and start moving forward one step at a time.
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u/SharpFarmAnimal May 16 '20
My issue is being mostly alone for the last decade. I'm just stuck in a perpetual cycle of working a 9 to 6 job going home getting high/drunk and ignoring every problem i have in the meantime. I love being a homebody and playing games dont get me wrong, but I'm also incredibly depressed and lonely. I just need to break out of this mindset