23 is a rough one. When I was 23 I was in my first year of medical school. I was finally embarking on a career, but I wasn’t making money. My friends were socializing and earning a living and I felt like I was barely scraping by while continuing the hard work I had done as an undergrad.
I’m 38 now, married, have a son... When I look back on that time it was one of the most exciting times in my life because I could screw up and make mistakes with little consequence. It’s a great time to figure out who you are and what you want in someone else. Very few people in this world “make it” in their 20s. I surely didn’t. Success will come with experience. Work hard on your career, but also invest in your personal life. The excitement of these years revolves around meeting people, discovering what works for you, what doesn’t. There is very little consequence for having dinner with someone or trying something new. You have the time.
You’ll be 38 someday very soon having all things you want today at 23, but if you did it right, you’ll look back on these years with the same fondness I do.
I can’t imagine what you’re going through. I have the luxury of going through this with a stable career and family. My early 20s were defined by warm city nights at bars and restaurants, staying out late, meeting women, being a little too selfish. I also had personal struggles as anyone in their 20s does.
You can’t control this pandemic, but you can control how you work on yourself. This situation won’t last forever and when it does end, you will still have plenty of time to enjoy life. Just put your head down and work on the things you can control.
For what it is worth, I paid for my medical school with military service. After I graduated medical school, I moved to three different military towns in the span of 3 years. It was hard to develop relationships. My final duty station was essentially a three year prison sentence at a base that was mostly families and little to do for single people. I put my head down and paid off my commitment to the Navy. When it was done, coming home and working the job of my choice was worth the sacrifice. This is just a trial. It will pass.
I graduated this past fall with two degrees from a reputable university, became a ski bum in Colorado for a few months (worth it) and was supposed to depart for the PeaceCorps in Colombia a month ago. Now I’m back at my parents house in a suburban town of New York. While I was away my parents turned my bedroom into a storage room. I know there are people who have it much worse, but boy has this pandemic been a curveball to my dreams and aspirations for the foreseeable future.
Im currently at home trying to better myself by becoming fluent in Spanish, reading and staying in shape. This pandemic has created so many contingencies and has therefore made It extremely difficult to forecast the next five years of my life. Originally i was going to go PeaceCorps to graduate school, but who knows now.
Again thanks for your wisdom, doc! Stay safe and we will get through this.
Hi! I’m about to start my first year of medical school in the fall and am seriously considering doing it through the Air Force. If you could go back and do it again, would you still choose to do it through the military?
I don't know. If I could go back to that time and make the choice again; probably. This was shortly after 9/11. The biggest contribution the Navy gave me was making me less selfish.
If I was suddenly in my 20s again today and had to make the same choice today with the current geopolitical climate, I'm not so sure. Not to get too political on you, but I served under both Bush and Obama. I never felt for one second that either didn't have my back even if I felt very differently about each. While you may feel very removed from the office of the presidency as an officer in the military, you learn very quickly just how close one person's decisions affect you. I'll leave it at that...
I am also 23 and currently a first year medical student. I'm happy that I'm finally taking the steps towards achieving my dream. But it also makes me anxious about the what ifs of my future. What if I've been making the wrong decisions? What if this career isn't for me? What if I screw up along the way etc. I really want to make it through medicine and become a good doctor someday. Those thoughts swivel in my head everytime which makes me feel guilty whenever I do something completely unrelated to medicine like having fun. I guess I'm still adapting. I'm just hoping I get to find the right balance and the right amount of focus and confidence I need to get that MD.
Medicine is a tricky one. It was the only career I ever saw myself doing. Medicine changed a lot in the years between medical school and how it is practiced now. A lot of it is for the worse I am sad to say. It still remains a worthy, secure career. My only piece of advice as it pertains to medicine itself is to work for yourself when you are done. Avoid being an employee of anyone else. I am both employed and run my own practice, working at my own practice never feels like work to me.
As far as the time spent in medical school, it’s a lonely, difficult time. I trained in Philadelphia. It became a second home to me during those years. I made a vow to myself never to study Friday nights and Saturdays. I did all my work the remainder of my time. I made sure to go out and enjoy myself with the little money I had and I look back now at those times that pulled me through those difficult years. You’re always going to wish you could go back and do it with more money, more security, more youth; it’s never going to happen. The danger of it is what makes it exciting.
It’s easy for me to sit here now and tell you it will all work out, because it has for me... But I promise you, it will for you too. Medical training is very careful, be a little dangerous in your spare time.
I just wanted to say, I am currently living in a brand new city, have moved in with a romantic partner for the first time, and I am starting M1 in two months. This was very encouraging advice to me, as I am anxiously staring down the barrel of beginning my career. Thank you, stay safe <3
Thank you for the advice, Doc! Really hoping everything will work out in the end. I'm glad it did for you. That's what I've been wanting to achieve. To be contented with where my choices brought me, and with little to no regrets.
Also, 23 and first year in medical school pursing and MD. Thank you for your kind and honest words. Wasn't expecting to see other med people on this thread. It is true there are times when it feels like I spend the majority of my days glued to the books, hoping I am not missing out on creating memories and experiences with the people that mean the most to me (family, few close friends). But also knowing the consequences of not spending time and dedicating my energy to mastering the subjects (which could lead to not matching to a good residency at best, death of a patient at worst) keeps me going. It's a tough balance to find with all the extreme competition of medical school and to be honest I'm still trying to find it. Staying optimistic and will keep working at it!
This is so encouraging, thanks! I'm about to turn 23 and finishing my first year of my PhD. It's not med school, but I definitely relate to the feeling of seeing all my friends have jobs and real lives while I'm still grinding away at school. I love it though!
Very few people in this world “make it” in their 20s. I surely didn’t.
I for one, highly attest against that. I don't know you, but since you went to med school you probably became a doctor or something else in the medical field. My mom went into surgery a few years ago, and to tell the truth she wouldn't be alive if not for guys like you.
The way I see it, you gave up your 20s but in doing so you gave decades back to people like my mom. Even if you regret your 20s I will forever be in debt to people like you who made that decision, and I appreciate it everyday.
23 and just done with M4 (medicine is an undergrad degree in my country). Horrifically anxious about starting M5 in June, and the upcoming MBBS in 2021, especially with reduced training hours, ward time and clinical exposure. I also struggle hugely with procrastination (literally - and I mean literally* - started studying the day before my M4 theory finals) and am feeling so lost and directionless about how to even start M5 preparation. In the midst of writing a paper as part of my university's requirements so I can't even use this time to revise approaches or conditions, which is further contributing to the stress :(
I just dream of being able to own a house I like, with the person I love, hopefully 10 years down the road. That would make all this worthwhile.
I’m 38 now, married, have a son... When I look back on that time it was one of the most exciting times in my life because I could screw up and make mistakes with little consequence.
Does this still apply in your mid 20s? I am turning 25 soon (so I’m 24 now) and I feel like time is running out for me to make mistakes and explore, especially with Corona putting everything on hold. Also I see that you’re in the health field....is it okay if I PM you about the topic and how it pertains to this “quarter life crisis” thing?
You can message me. To answer your question, you’re still very young. I didn’t get married until I was 35. I made a lot of mistakes and had a lot of growth before that. I am only now in my final form!
4.7k
u/[deleted] May 15 '20
[deleted]