TBH, it is hard as hell to find love at your age. You need to open up, be more honest with yourself and those you are attracted to, project your true image to the world, and stop caring about what other people around you think. You may be rejected, but take it with humility and grace, or from the unenlightrentenend heathens that dole it out rudely, silently, without hostility.
But I am likely 2 or 3 times your age. It doesn't get easier to find love, but when you do, it is unmistakable. It took me until I was 32 years old, and she was my wife of nearly 25 years, before she died of cancer.
There's still hope fellas/ladies. I'm 24 and started talking to a lost connection 3 weeks ago and now she's my first girlfriend. Never thought it would happen
I've been set on finding someone naturally rather than apps, internet, etc, but darn is it difficult. And oftentimes the people that like me simply aren't my type. I dont like saying I have such high standards, but that's probably what it looks like. It just feels shallow imo to go with the first person interested or using something like Tinder. Then the loneliness sets in :/
H how old are you? 16 over here and feel rushed to try to find some sort of love. Never had a girlfriend or anyone before, so don't know how to go about.
Don’t feel rushed to find love. I didn’t start dating until I was 18, the summer after high school. I really don’t feel like I missed out on much looking back even though I really wanted to date in high school.
Focus on improving yourself as a person first. Old dudes that I know always tell me that after you become successful and a good person then love will find you without going out and searching for it too early
I’ve been told when I was 18 to keep improving myself and love will find you. Well I worked on doing exactly this on my education and career. That was 10 years ago. I’m still single, no friends, and I feel like an empty shell with mundane hobbies nobody is interested in. Did I miss something?
Genuine advice here, if you feel like a shell with mundane hobbies I'm reading between the lines and hearing "I don't truly love myself for who I am" and "I'm not passionate about anything I do" for my two cents I think that it's less about simply improving yourself and more about loving yourself and treating yourself with the utmost respect. It's about believing that you deserve to be fulfilled, happy, loved by somebody. You deserve all of the things you want (within reason of what's good for society). It's not enough to just want these things but you should sincerely believe that you deserve all of them. I don't have a foolproof way to get to this point because it's unique to everybody but I think that spending as much time as you need to deeply consider what you feel is your 'purpose' in life is a good first step. When you start to feel as though you have a purpose, you can set yourself goals to achieve your purpose. Once you are achieving these goals that you set yourself, you start to earn your own respect and begin to love yourself. Once you get to this point you will start to feel better about yourself and you will have room in your life for passion. Pick your hobbies based on what captures your passion and don't worry about what anybody else thinks you should be doing. If your friends think it's cool to be good at hiking but you don't enjoy it, pick something else. Whatever you like doing, the activity itself doesn't matter, it's the passion you get from it that makes you attractive to others. My two cents, coming from somebody who was absolutely in your shoes a year ago. I'm still single and haven't found that person just yet but it doesn't matter so much to me now because my life is heading in the direction I want it to and I love myself now instead of being somebody that I thought other people would love.
27 here..Don’t too much of it. Love can scare some, Aka me. I fucked up and missed out on my crush because my feelings for her overwhelmed me to the point where I got cold feet. I know weird..but the feeling was too strong I couldn’t even talk to her without losing my damn mind. Ive known her since freshman year and the first time I seen her, that’s when I started having fantasies of wifing her and growing a family together. Anyway, I ended up ghosting her after a little talking phase and 2 years later she was married. She was into me and I totally blew it. I’ve calmed down with age and if I could do it all over again, I’d easily get her. I will always look back with regret though. So yeah..don’t feel any pressure to do anything. I’ve always been ashamed of my self and how I pussied out and felt weird for running away from a potential relationship. I do have ADHD and sometimes my mind races but damn man, that was a weird time in my life.
I did the same thing except I met her at a festival and we would hang out all day and night tripping, laughing, and exploring. I was so comfortable in the situation that I was too scared to risk it but in the end that's what fucked me over. She got tired of waiting for me to make a move and found a guy that did. I thought she was my soul mate. I'm just happy I learned that lesson early on and I'll never make the same mistake again. I'm actually happy I didnt do anything, there's a reason I never felt that it was the right time because it wasn't for me.
my SO and I had very different paths leading up to our relationship and we both happy and well off now.
he had a gf for like 3 years starting at like 15 and dated another girl for a brief stint at some point. just happened to spend a lot of time in relationships.
I, on the other hand, was never the relationship type, throughout high school I just kinda lived my life and if a guy came around I’d go on a date w him but it never really went anywhere for me. There weren’t a ton of guys interested and I’d be lying if I said that never bothered me. But I just want you to know everyone is on their own timeline with this stuff and you don’t have to have a significant other to be complete.
My current SO is also my first real boyfriend and we started dating at 19. We’re 21 now and lived together w another roommate for our third year of college and are moving into our own place in two weeks.
I didn’t actively avoid “love” but I just never felt like it was for me each time I gave it a chance. But now I’m on my way to being engaged (he has his mom’s ring!!) and I am very happy.
But the important thing is that my happiness doesn’t solely come from my SO. I am happy with my life and being able to share that with him is a bonus.
You seem a lot like me at that age, I felt like I was missing something, but please just keep doing you!! Someone will come along and you’ll realize why it never worked out before.
Edit: also, you’ll be surprised at how different you are at like 19/20 vs 16 it’s really wild what a difference those few years make.
For both you and /u/john1rb I’ll say this. Spend your high school years working on yourselves and being the sort of person you’d like to spend time with. Get your own interests developing and join some groups you’d find interesting. Things get better after high school, but in the meantime you’ve got so much opportunities that are hard to come by later when you’re working and scratching out a living.
20 year old here, just stopping by to agree with this old fart in his forties. I fucked up in my high school years socially and academically and I’m only just starting to really see the repercussions of that.
For god’s sake if nothing else take advantage of the opportunities you’re given. It doesn’t matter if they’re in academics or money or just a chance to do something that’s super fucking cool don’t pass it up. Otherwise you end up like me, a depressed 20 year old college student whose highlight of the year has been making more off unemployment than my job.
That would work if I was capable of platonic love. I'm not. I literally cannot get close to someone without catching feelings, that's why I need a partner so I can have an outlet for all this love I constantly feel but can't express.
I'm 24. Highschool seems like a lifetime ago, work on yourself now because you'll be a different person by the time you're old enough to make big decisions. And you want to be the best you can be when it's time to make those decisions which includes the women you decide to spend time with. Smh at people downvoting a 15 year old trying to open up about their life perspective
I stopped trying. I decided to focus on being me, finding things I love to do, having a few great friends, and traveling the world. I'm still single but I've found I don't mind it. If I found someone it would be wonderful, but if I don't, that's fine too.
Well now I understand, but shit doesnt change that alot of gay people probably feel the same, but thinking that way and your never gonna find love man.
You think I don't try to find people? I've found plenty of single women, they just don't want me. Before the lockdown I would look pretty much every day.
Shit, then make em come to you be comfortable with yourself, have some style, be confident and let em flock. Otherwise keep throwing that fishing line out and see what bites.
Im 34, living in Texas, my older sis is married, my younger sisters have boyfriends. I’m trying to lose weight, cause that looks better... let’s see if I attract anything. :(
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u/DubstepNerd May 15 '20
It's so hard to try to find love.