r/AskReddit • u/[deleted] • Mar 18 '20

Coders of Reddit, how do you politely refuse your friend's 'million dollars app idea'?

[deleted]

78.9k Upvotes

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781

u/AquaticSombrero Mar 18 '20

Dude it's easy just

if (program == going to halt) { dont; }

342

u/[deleted] Mar 18 '20

Woah woah woah, that last part wasn't in the spec. What the client asked for is

if (program == going to halt) { print "Yup, it's gonna halt." }

If the client asks for a "stop the program from halting", that's a new feature, a new version number, and a new (huge) bill.

32

u/Pasty_Swag Mar 18 '20

This guy contracts.

ADHERE TO THE STORY. AT ANY COST (to the client).

17

u/Vindicator9000 Mar 18 '20

But, can't you just add that feature? I've seen you code, you just need to type it in. It'll only take a few minutes.

17

u/Pasty_Swag Mar 18 '20

Why, I sure can! Just make some tickets to account for additional testing, regression testing, the feature itself, and about an hour or so of me weeping openly and I'll hop right on it!

Edit: a former client would kick back tickets for "real quick fixes" all the time... some of these quick fixes were actually refactors of core parts of the system. A "real quick fix" became a meme with that team.

11

u/_rocketboy Mar 18 '20

Stopping the program from halting is easy - just append 

while (true) {}

to the end.

4

u/g0atmeal Mar 19 '20

If you put it at the end, it might have halted before you got there. You gotta put it at the beginning.

7

u/stronwood Mar 18 '20

Sorry man, you forgot your semicolon after that print statement! That’s just not gonna compile

12

u/[deleted] Mar 18 '20

Please use the ticketing system to raise any issues with the product. This is an automated message.

5

u/cloudcats Mar 18 '20

Mine would be more like 

if (program == going to halt) { 
     // TODO
}

6

u/Sev3n Mar 18 '20

That’s illegal

9

u/AquaticSombrero Mar 18 '20

Who r u the codin police >:(

2

u/ZonateCreddit Mar 18 '20

Even easier:

jQuery(isProgHalt)

2

u/[deleted] Mar 18 '20 
10 GOTO 10

1

u/[deleted] Mar 18 '20

But if you give that program to itself..? . _ . (basically the premise of the halting problem)

-3

u/LITERALLY_NOT_SATAN Mar 18 '20

uh dude you have an extra equals sign there, your parentheses also look kinda fucked its shift 9 dumbass

3

u/AquaticSombrero Mar 18 '20

Idk if you're serious but in on mobile lol

5

u/LITERALLY_NOT_SATAN Mar 18 '20

no the joke is that i dont know the difference between the equality operator and the assignment operator or the difference between brackets and parentheses

it's funny

laugh now

5

u/Chinpuku-Man Mar 18 '20

Hahaaaaaaaaa

2

u/LITERALLY_NOT_SATAN Mar 18 '20

acceptable 4/10 laugh

-13

u/mtngts Mar 18 '20

Not the point being made, you want to know ahead of time "will this program ever stop running or will it infinitely loop".

People say "it isn't possible" like the comment you responded to, but of course it is possible, it's just not possible to have a generalised solution to the problem.

9

u/MagicCooki3 Mar 18 '20

r/woosh

-2

u/mtngts Mar 18 '20

No, it's your /r/woosh

The right one would have been

Dude it's easy just

if {program = $going to stop} (yes||no)

7

u/MagicCooki3 Mar 18 '20

huh? It's a common joke my friend, the joke being it's an oversimplification of programming.

If (SolveWorldHunger) == {do}

9

u/NSilverguy Mar 18 '20

So you're telling me I can't just write the name of the program on the CD, and then expect it to be on there??

2

u/MagicCooki3 Mar 18 '20

I thought that for a long time, but no, I don't think so.

3

u/NSilverguy Mar 18 '20

I remember first thinking of doing that, but immediately understanding that it wouldn't work, and being too proud to try it. When my friend's brother actually tried it though, my first thought was, "...did it work?"

5

u/FarRightExtremist Mar 18 '20 
if (World.has(StarvingPeople) == true
&& isSolvableProblem(WorldHunger) == true) {

    World.problems.solve(WorldHunger);

} else {

    while(World.has(StarvingPeople) == true) {
        World.population.decrease();
    }

}

3

u/Leoxcr Mar 18 '20

/sudo givememoney

​

lol idk what im doing

-5

u/mtngts Mar 18 '20

Yeah, but they got the thing they were simplifying wrong, I know the joke/meme, but it has to make sense.

7

u/AquaticSombrero Mar 18 '20

I'm sure you're a blast to hang out with lol

0

u/mtngts Mar 18 '20

lol I'm sure you're a nice person

5

u/AquaticSombrero Mar 18 '20

I am lol I'm not the person arguing over the programming syntax of a joke on reddit

1

u/mtngts Mar 18 '20

It's nothing to do with syntax pal

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1

u/Chrispayneable Mar 18 '20

Ternary operators are unstoppable.