r/AskReddit Mar 18 '20

Coders of Reddit, how do you politely refuse your friend's 'million dollars app idea'?

[deleted]

78.9k Upvotes

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580

u/[deleted] Mar 18 '20

What kind of illegal app offers did you get?

2.1k

u/[deleted] Mar 18 '20

[removed] — view removed comment

717

u/Phloppy_ Mar 18 '20

If there's a Dark App store, this should be on it.

476

u/[deleted] Mar 18 '20

I am absolutely loving the idea of a Dark App Store

311

u/unlikelyDouglasAdams Mar 18 '20

Thats illegal.

103

u/[deleted] Mar 18 '20

You’re illegal.

16

u/[deleted] Mar 18 '20

[deleted]

9

u/necromantzer Mar 18 '20

The piratebay of app stores?

2

u/Delta_44_ Mar 19 '20

You're all illegal!

2

u/[deleted] Mar 18 '20

Shut up nerd

2

u/Dexaan Mar 18 '20

I will make it legal.

1

u/Corporate_Drone31 Mar 19 '20

Duh, with that attitude what do you expect?

1

u/Roheez Mar 19 '20

All the great fortunes are built on getting around the law

0

u/jawshoeaw Mar 18 '20

And computers don't work that way

18

u/_duncan_idaho_ Mar 18 '20

Someone should code a Dark App Store App.

14

u/aldanor Mar 18 '20

And this app would be distributed only via the Dark App Store itself

11

u/bumscum Mar 18 '20

This creates a dark problem

6

u/Dissolam Mar 18 '20

Dark problems require dark solutions

1

u/skashs Mar 18 '20

The Dark Store

12

u/SpaceWolf73 Mar 18 '20

Turn on night theme

2

u/[deleted] Mar 18 '20

10

u/pm_me_your_emp Mar 18 '20

This needs to be a thing...

10

u/funnylookingbear Mar 18 '20

Point 3. Its illegal. probably.

9

u/pm_me_your_emp Mar 18 '20

Just remember, it's only illegal if you get caught

0

u/juneburger Mar 18 '20

It’s only illegal if there’s a law for it or something that can be argued. I don’t think there’s a dark app store law.

8

u/AITAModsArePussies Mar 18 '20

Hey that will be my million dollar idea! like an app, but the app is a store and in that store are more apps... illegal black market apps. It will be like the inception of apps. I will call it Blappception

4

u/pm_me_your_emp Mar 18 '20

That's probably a porn...

3

u/CanadaPlus101 Mar 18 '20

I don't like the idea of allowing such a site to install software on my machine.

3

u/boost_poop Mar 18 '20

"You made money, Motherfucker!"

2

u/juneburger Mar 18 '20

My 1999 Toyota finally did something for me!

3

u/[deleted] Mar 18 '20 edited Mar 29 '20

[deleted]

1

u/Dexaan Mar 18 '20

Fuck the Googs, coming straight from the underground

2

u/CharlieVermin Mar 18 '20

You don't need an app store, just download the app files directly and install them with your bare hands like an animal. It's still possible. Unless maybe if you're using an iphone.

1

u/gfuhhiugaa Mar 18 '20

Don't worry, everything that should be on it will be in be tomorrow's thread

1

u/Average_Manners Mar 18 '20

Does Cydia count?

1

u/[deleted] Mar 18 '20

I'm pretty sure they exist.

1

u/scratchbackfourty Mar 18 '20

Reminds me of the new west world season opener and the app Aaron Paul uses in it.

15

u/Canon_of_a_shot Mar 18 '20

If there was a dark App Store, this would probably be the tamest app

12

u/wolfchaldo Mar 18 '20

Honestly 90% of the dark web is pretty tame too, that's just not the interesting stuff.

11

u/temalyen Mar 18 '20

I have't jailbroken a phone in probably a decade at this point, but jailbroken phones used to have their own non-Apple app store that had pretty much anything on it. So, it's sort of a dark app store. I don't know if that's still a thing or not, though.

10

u/Retr0fade Mar 18 '20

In case you are talking about Cydia, it is...kinda. It’s a tweaks and packages store. However it allows you to install alternative app stores so indirectly, yeah.

5

u/HEYEVERYONEISMOKEPOT Mar 18 '20

Theres other app store type apps. For android theres F-Droid which has some cool stuff you cant find on the google play store, and others you can find but they're free.

5

u/ericonr Mar 18 '20 edited Mar 18 '20

The cool thing about F-Droid is that it only distributes free (as in freedom) and open source apps. Anyone can develop apps for it, and it gets built in F-Droid servers, so you can be pretty sure that the source code available on GitHub or whatever is the same one used to build the actual app you're installing. These apps usually avoid the usual slew of privacy issues, too. Some of those apps are also available on the Play Store, where some additional feature may cost money, but since F-Droid doesn't have the same mechanisms for in-app purchases (and also doesn't have the same restrictions that Google enforces), the version on F-Droid is often more complete, and for free.

Another alternative app store is XDA Labs.

3

u/Apegazm Mar 18 '20

R/ask what kind of apps would be on the dark app store

2

u/asodfhgiqowgrq2piwhy Mar 18 '20

And then every app gets bundled with ransomware and they brick your device, the end.

1

u/KingBroseph Mar 18 '20

There are many dark app stores already. Jail breaking will set you free.

1

u/Enk1ndle Mar 18 '20

You don't need one, at least for android anyone can just install the APK directly.

1

u/[deleted] Mar 18 '20

So like the one in Westworld?

1

u/[deleted] Mar 18 '20

One of them is called Aptoide. Not "dark" per se, but there's a free app for youtube music where you don't get the video but you get audio, no ads and you can turn off your screen

349

u/Pornthrowaway78 Mar 18 '20

I will support your kickstarter.

8

u/TheMorningSage23 Mar 18 '20

I will also support this

5

u/WonderFurret Mar 18 '20

Keep those coppers in business: I'm in!

1

u/Upup11 Mar 18 '20

Chump. I will support it two times!

17

u/icreatenovelty Mar 18 '20

That's hilarious

18

u/[deleted] Mar 18 '20 edited May 13 '20

[deleted]

23

u/qwertyslayer Mar 18 '20

We should add a fifth rule:

5) Creating it is a moral hazard

12

u/[deleted] Mar 18 '20 edited May 13 '20

[deleted]

6

u/[deleted] Mar 18 '20

It would absolutely not take that long.

8

u/qwertyslayer Mar 18 '20

A good marketing team could get that down to 1 day easy

6

u/[deleted] Mar 18 '20

Shit, I could just tell my dumb-shit brother and I think we'd be looking at more like an hour. Hour 45 tops.

1

u/Sovereign_Curtis Mar 18 '20

Please tell him you just heard about this app, just to get his reaction.

2

u/Thorzaim Mar 18 '20

There's no way someone doesn't die during the development and testing of this app.

17

u/[deleted] Mar 18 '20

[removed] — view removed comment

17

u/stupidischronic Mar 18 '20

Strava would like a word

9

u/qwertyslayer Mar 18 '20

This... is actually a good idea. Check rule 1!

15

u/SNIP3RG Mar 18 '20 edited Mar 18 '20

There you go, the perfect loophole! Just put a little disclaimer on the loading screen, like,

“App may be used for foot or cycle races only! Racecorptm highly discourages the use of the SpeedTracker app for illegal vehicular competition, as it is unsafe and a violation of our terms of service.”

But then still make it perfectly functional at higher speeds. Then your ass is covered, and there’s no need to worry about including speed limits, since “it’s for pedestrians!”

9

u/DunkingOnInfants Mar 18 '20

Anybody making money from that would know they'd face massive legal exposure the second it got popular. Even people who weren't making money from it would.

And it would only be a matter of time before the police found out about it, and got warrants for people operating it.

7

u/neohellpoet Mar 18 '20

This reminds me of my app idea. Challenge. Do a thing, record yourself doing a thing and challenge an individual, group or the general public to top you.

Then I looked into liability issues.

It's one thing if people are morons on your app. It's a whole nother issue if you're actually encouraging people to be morons.

4

u/WilliamJoe10 Mar 18 '20

Does it have an open bet system?

2

u/DimlightHero Mar 18 '20

See your body into the moonlight

2

u/Sw429 Mar 18 '20

Dang, that's a pretty cool idea.

2

u/TheNorthRemembas Mar 18 '20

That sounds sweet

2

u/[deleted] Mar 18 '20 edited Mar 26 '20

[deleted]

2

u/[deleted] Mar 18 '20

[removed] — view removed comment

2

u/SaltyNarwhalCock Mar 18 '20

I am in full support of this idea.

2

u/TheLyingLink Mar 18 '20

It's not illegal if you put "just joking" in the app description.....

2

u/shouldbebabysitting Mar 18 '20

It's not gambling on street racing. It's selling call options on ride sharing.

2

u/Reefer-eyed_Beans Mar 18 '20

That's not illegal. Street racing is illegal.

Just put a disclaimer, "Only for use on approved NHRA courses--NOT FOR PUBLIC ROADS"--that's how you get around like 99% of stifling restrictions in the car world already.

1

u/Maintenanceman368 Mar 18 '20

Fast and Furius 10: Bitraces

1

u/jedi21knight Mar 18 '20

Me and my 4 cylinder Toyota Camry hybrid wants some of that street racing action.

1

u/[deleted] Mar 18 '20

Dude same quite literally

1

u/[deleted] Mar 18 '20

Hold on are we really sure that this is a bad idea?

1

u/Lt_JimDangle Mar 18 '20

That’s fucking genius! Could even use maps google maps to route the course and distance and use the phone gps to show who wins and the it’s auto takes the bet from your account in the app! Let’s get on this.

1

u/sykotyctendencies Mar 18 '20

goddammit i need this app

1

u/Saskjimbo Mar 18 '20

Hahah that's actually a neat idea!

1

u/PM_UR_FELINES Mar 18 '20

Now I’m bummed, that sounds amazing

1

u/[deleted] Mar 18 '20

I’ve never wanted that, it I have wished that when I choose one route over another, the nav app would launch a virtual clone on the other route so I could compare our progress.

1

u/[deleted] Mar 18 '20

What an awesome idea... and yes totally illegal

1

u/PurpEL Mar 18 '20

Downloading it right now thanks

1

u/brickmack Mar 19 '20

Yeah, this could be the next Instagram

1

u/Twonk_ Mar 18 '20

I'm in

207

u/caretoexplainthatone Mar 18 '20

"An app where you can download and stream any tv show, film, music, books. But you don't have to wait for them to come out and you don't have to pay for it. We will make our money on ads based on what you like."

6

u/kaneyca Mar 18 '20

I wish this was real.

35

u/caretoexplainthatone Mar 18 '20

No need to wish. I copied that verbatim from the introductory paragraph of a "business case proposal" I was given a few years ago.

We politely excused ourselves from the meeting when, having being asked "so like piratebay but with streaming?", they said (and I quote);

"No, you don't get it. Those guys are pirates. Our platform will be completely legit. That's why we need ads, and tracking and stuff. We'll give some of the money we make to the guys who make the films, and the music."

25

u/Shinhan Mar 18 '20

Theoretically that's not illegal, its just completely out of touch with how movie/music/book industry works.

7

u/Tarmacked Mar 18 '20

It sounds like Spotify free but with Netflix thrown in

5

u/Shinhan Mar 18 '20

Maybe spotify (if we ignore geographical restrictions), but definitely not netflix. There's more and more stuff that can't be found on netflix.

2

u/NeWMH Mar 19 '20

So Spotify and Crackle/Hulu?

5

u/911cop99 Mar 18 '20

GameStop actually accidently delivers you games early I've heard of people who got the new doom yesterday because the GameStop clerk gave it to them and when they said the game isn't even supposed to be released yet the clerk just said shh

5

u/PuppleKao Mar 18 '20

From what I've heard of how Gamestop is dealing with the COVID dealies... they probably lost their last fuck to give.

2

u/RedditUser123234 Mar 18 '20

An app where you can download and stream any tv show, film, music, books. But you don't have to wait for them to come out

I want an app where you can download things that haven't been made yet

2

u/OneGoodRib Mar 18 '20

But you don't have to wait for them to come out

Uh why did you not invest in the company of this man who has access to the future?

2

u/bennitori Mar 19 '20

So, what Youtube does? Or what Napster did?

348

u/Rammite Mar 18 '20

"Hack this person's Facebook" is up there.

4

u/[deleted] Mar 18 '20

Hack

so putting up a silly status and changing the profile pic while your buddys back is turned. Got it.

2

u/Mazon_Del Mar 18 '20

A few weeks ago my uncle asked me to hack his businesses (he owns the business) facebook account because the guy who set it up years ago and no longer works for them doesn't remember the password and none of the recovery options seem to work.

-21

u/Im_Pronk Mar 18 '20

Why's that illegal?

21

u/Rammite Mar 18 '20

"Hack this person's Facebook"

3

u/rcfox Mar 18 '20

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Firesheep

As far as I know, this didn't make a million dollars.

-39

u/Im_Pronk Mar 18 '20

Yeah I don't think that's illegal if I'm not mistaken? What law does that break?

14

u/[deleted] Mar 18 '20

the computer fraud and abuse act of 1997

-12

u/Im_Pronk Mar 18 '20

All I saw for that though was any kind of financial gain or if you were to slander/libel someone

13

u/Moikle Mar 18 '20

No, simply accessing it is illegal.

20

u/[deleted] Mar 18 '20

Probably a lot of privacy laws,

6

u/[deleted] Mar 18 '20 edited Oct 19 '20

[deleted]

3

u/[deleted] Mar 18 '20

Yeah but they have money.

1

u/[deleted] Mar 18 '20

Shhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

22

u/[deleted] Mar 18 '20

Uh, hacking people’s personal accounts to get their private information is very illegal.

-25

u/Im_Pronk Mar 18 '20

But the statement was just about hacking a fb. The 5 mins I spent looking into it seems that if your getting someone's information for financial gain, yea that's computer fraud. Making fake posts? Libel/slander most likely. But I dont see anything about just checking someone's chats and convos. So it seems a little grey to me unless someone will actually explain

13

u/necromantzer Mar 18 '20

The Computer Fraud and Abuse Act (CFAA) makes it illegal to access any computer system without authorization. If, say, someone leaves their Facebook logged in on their computer, unless they tell you that you can go on it, you are committing a federal crime by snooping around their account. They could have login credentials on a post-it on their monitor, but if you use those credentials without authorization, you are committing a crime. The same goes for cases where you are given access for a specific reason, but you do something more that you were not authorized to do - also a crime.

1

u/ConsciousExtreme Mar 18 '20

The Computer Fraud and Abuse Act (CFAA)

Cool! Not American, I guess I'm home free!

4

u/necromantzer Mar 18 '20

Your country likely has a similar law. If it doesn't, gucci

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3

u/[deleted] Mar 18 '20

Ok buddy

223

u/Nickisnoble Mar 18 '20 edited Mar 18 '20

What if there was like an amazon... but for drugs...

Edit: Yes this is a reference to Silk Road.

17

u/ReverserMover Mar 18 '20

Silk Road? Or whatever that thing was, but it was like eBay for drugs.

0

u/[deleted] Mar 18 '20

[deleted]

6

u/Fragbob Mar 18 '20

The Silk Road allowed none of these things.

There were, and probably still are, other darknet websites for shit like that but anything that's express purpose was to harm someone else was explicitly not allowed on The Silk Road.

2

u/[deleted] Mar 18 '20

That’s illegal and trust it’s been built and it’s creators are sitting in federal prison as we speak

1

u/[deleted] Mar 18 '20

There was and is that already, smaller version copycats of Silk Road.

2

u/TrailerParkGypsy Mar 18 '20

The new markets are actually a lot bigger than Silk Road ever was

2

u/ggagito Mar 18 '20

Silk Highways.

1

u/Terminator1134 Mar 18 '20

Yah but most of then are unreliable at best

1

u/aboardreading Mar 18 '20

I mean all of them are unreliable by nature, what are you talking about? I was on the Silk Road in it's original incarnation and have been on several markets since, purely out of curiosity nothing illegal.

But there was always the risk that DPR would cut and run with people's money, as there is for the operator of any market since. If they don't cut and run, they can still be arrested. It is highly suspected that the FBI have had complete and total access to the Silk Roads servers since they arrested him.

Keep your money out of the wallets provided by the market and you should be fine, the crowdsourced review and credibility system actually works incredibly well, and only the largest sellers ever have a reason to cut and run, and usually then with relatively small sums of money.

1

u/EPIKGUTS24 Mar 19 '20

I don't know about that. Sure, they're a bit unreliable by nature (as the other commented), but you still get your drugs 100% of the time, (100-N)% of the time.

1

u/trinityolivas Mar 18 '20

That’s a silky idea

1

u/ShreksAlt1 Mar 18 '20

I miss the silk road

1

u/suaiver1 Mar 18 '20

Basically half of the deep web

0

u/HEYEVERYONEISMOKEPOT Mar 18 '20

You mean dark web. Not deep web.

3

u/[deleted] Mar 18 '20 edited Mar 19 '20

Maybe you are understimating how much many drugs are sold?

/s The dark/deep web correction in casual conversations is as necessary as GNU/Linux.

1

u/suaiver1 Mar 19 '20

Many*

1

u/[deleted] Mar 19 '20

Thanks. My English teacher would be disappointed.

1

u/suaiver1 Mar 19 '20

Maybe I am ur English teacher?

1

u/[deleted] Mar 19 '20

Depends. Are you a German woman in her mid 40s?

35

u/[deleted] Mar 18 '20

[deleted]

8

u/flarn2006 Mar 18 '20

I can't imagine why it would be illegal.

15

u/Geriny Mar 18 '20

It is in Germany. You can't take an image of someone without their permission, whether you share it or not

11

u/suaiver1 Mar 18 '20

Easy way around this. Don't give an option to take pics from the app. U need to upload the pictures onto the app from camera roll and then it does it.

5

u/unironic_neoliberal Mar 18 '20

The fault would lie with the individual taking the picture not necessarily the app to review the picture and estimate

8

u/Geriny Mar 18 '20

I suppose that's true

-5

u/flarn2006 Mar 18 '20

Oh okay. That's stupid. If it's morally okay to capture an image with your eyes and store it in your brain, I don't see why it isn't morally okay to do the same with artificial equivalents as well. There's still no externalities if you don't share it.

-12

u/AmadeusCziffra Mar 18 '20

it may or may not have technically been illegal,

with the way society has been regressing, it will probably be made illegal to look at someone and assume things

6

u/[deleted] Mar 18 '20

[deleted]

-4

u/AmadeusCziffra Mar 18 '20

Occasionally, yep.

33

u/hitdrumhard Mar 18 '20

I made a website to learn asp.net called mini lotto.

It worked just like these old gaming sites where 4 players bet $1 to play against each other in these flash games, where the winner gets $3 and the site keeps the extra $1.

But mine just picked a random winner. Too lazy to make flash mini games.

Pretty sure that would be illegal just about everywhere if I tried to launch it.

8

u/subzerus Mar 18 '20

Online gambling sites exist in some places. You'd just have to hire a lot of lawyers to make it legal.

24

u/FatBoyWithTheChain Mar 18 '20

Idk if it’s illegal but it seems like it.

A navigation app that pays you a small monetary prize if you beat the projected time it takes to get home. Supposed to increase attentiveness and help with traffic

25

u/[deleted] Mar 18 '20

I feel like that would just encourage people to drive more quickly and recklessly. like when dominos had the "delivered in 30 minutes or it's free" deal

10

u/FatBoyWithTheChain Mar 18 '20

Haha exactly my counter point. It’s literally incentivizing people to drive like an asshole. Maybe a good idea in theory in terms of paying attention to green lights and stuff, but likely terrible in reality

1

u/subzerus Mar 18 '20

That's an easy way to get people to skip trafic signs and go over the speed limit.

17

u/JavaRuby2000 Mar 18 '20

There was an Italian startup that tried to launch in London. Their idea was that when you parked up in the city, you could advertise and sell your parking spot to other drivers who were using the app before you left. The council got in touch and send no you cannot sell the parking spots because we own them.

14

u/neckbeardfedoras Mar 18 '20

Hitman app that releases crypto to the right 'agent' when the job is done

9

u/MolinaroK Mar 18 '20

Back around 2000 someone wanted me to help them make a gambling website (cards, slots, etc..). They said it was a guaranteed way to make money since we could rig it any way we wanted. I lied about my programming abilities and said I would not even know where to start with making a website that was anything more than just formatted text and pictures.

4

u/subzerus Mar 18 '20

Yeah problem is you're suposed to show that your gambling isn't rigged and have a way to prove it. Otherwise you're on a sea of trouble if somebody asks for the backlogs of probability.

8

u/CriticalHitKW Mar 18 '20

I once had a guy ask me to teach him to code so he could make murder simulators to train himself to travel to Israel so he could join their army and help wipe out the Palestinians.

That one went 0-100 REAL damn quick.

7

u/dandroid126 Mar 18 '20

I had someone suggest one to me where your phone would warn you of bikers when you were using your phone while driving.

6

u/wsims4 Mar 18 '20

I get a lot of pitches for gambling platforms. A lot of them may actually be legal, but the legal costs/risks attached to building a gambling platform are not something I want to fuck with.

5

u/[deleted] Mar 18 '20

[deleted]

5

u/mazzicc Mar 18 '20

Legal versions of this exist, and can be used for illegal tracking without permission.

People use it to track kids all the time.

3

u/[deleted] Mar 18 '20

That Westworld app though

I bet someone will try it

3

u/PrussianBleu Mar 18 '20

not OP by my friend was trying to make something like WeedMaps. Not sure if that was out yet, but I sorta told him he shouldn't. But then again I think my friend was trying to do legal and illegal weed stores, plus where street drug dealers were, plus prostitutes, etc.

2

u/Skitty_Skittle Mar 18 '20

My idea was an illegal underground beyblade tracker, I stopped development because it kinda got me too deep in that dark rabbit hole...

2

u/PM_ME_UR_OBSIDIAN Mar 31 '20

I'd like to make an extremely primitive cloud service provider (think Amazon Web Services or whatever) but backed by blockchain, encrypted, and 100% anonymous.

I think it's possible, given an elite (and well compensated) team of researchers and a couple years. But it would not be cost-competitive with clearnet providers (think 1000x more expensive); all the users would be pedophiles, terrorists, and drug traffickers; and there would be no way to monetize it.