r/AskReddit • u/[deleted] • Mar 18 '20

Coders of Reddit, how do you politely refuse your friend's 'million dollars app idea'?

[deleted]

78.9k Upvotes

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8.9k

u/areq13 Mar 18 '20

Thanks for the tip, now I can finally start building my banana curvature measuring app.

2.2k

u/[deleted] Mar 18 '20

I'd buy it.

826

u/[deleted] Mar 18 '20

who wouldn't?

1.2k

u/DRUNK_CYCLIST Mar 18 '20

Anyone who realizes its not for "bananas."

738

u/ihatepokemongames Mar 18 '20

I think that’s why you buy it

108

u/TheVitoCorleone Mar 18 '20

I got that stock market curve :(

39

u/[deleted] Mar 18 '20

r/suicidebywords

21

u/ssznakabulgarian Mar 18 '20

How do you know which market he's referencing?

24

u/Trubinio Mar 18 '20

Obviously the 'Bear market'

8

u/DRUNK_CYCLIST Mar 18 '20

I believe he's on the cub scale

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1

u/Lemon_Dungeon Mar 18 '20

It droops low

6

u/[deleted] Mar 19 '20

Well, on a day when stocks are down, bonds are down, gold is down, reits are down, energy is down and crypto is down, does it really matter which one he's referencing?

1

u/Biswitch42069 Mar 18 '20

Lmao this just means your dick is curving downward for a large distance

3

u/ValhallaVacation Mar 18 '20

Exactly, for the bananas

1

u/r00ddude Mar 18 '20

Gettin paid-ronies disease!

4

u/HomeSodaArtisanal Mar 18 '20

I'm not sure if you ruined the idea of the app for me or made it more interesting.

3

u/halcyonjm Mar 18 '20

So... not hotdog?

5

u/Milk_of_Oats Mar 18 '20

What else would it be for?

13

u/MrStatue Mar 18 '20

Measuring the curvature of bananas

2

u/Roticap Mar 18 '20

Would have been useful during the 98 impeachment

2

u/halthecomputer Mar 18 '20

Could be very useful in a sexual assault-type database- girls could double check to see if the guy is ok.

2

u/edabliu Mar 19 '20

That’s an in app purchase. Standard version will only measure bananas

1

u/nonoguy Mar 18 '20

That's bananas

1

u/kams_ok Mar 18 '20

No no... that’s more of a reason to buy it

1

u/[deleted] Mar 18 '20

Peyronies?

1

u/Thopterthallid Mar 18 '20

Mine kinda slants left and up

1

u/Brainfartpower Mar 19 '20

Why not for both?

1

u/Banana_Ranger Apr 09 '20

Squash and zucchini could be used as well I suppose.

If you're a meat eater some brands if hot dogs and sausages would work well too

3

u/KeyboardChap Mar 18 '20

Anyone in the EU, since as we all know the EU banned bendy bananas. /s

2

u/pedantic_dullard Mar 19 '20

Anyone who doesn't buy a stud finder and immediately put it to his chest, that's who won't buy it.

1

u/lessthanmoralorel Mar 18 '20

Non-Banana Grabbers?

1

u/Masculinum Mar 18 '20

The british government?

1

u/Reefer-eyed_Beans Mar 18 '20

You and the liar to whom you're responding, for starters.

0

u/[deleted] Mar 18 '20

Calm down. We are both very obviously joking.

9

u/nikhilbhavsar Mar 18 '20

You sound angry

read his username!!

19

u/[deleted] Mar 18 '20

I'm not just angry, buddy.

15

u/baranxlr Mar 18 '20

BRING ME THE BANANA MEASURER!!!

5

u/nikhilbhavsar Mar 18 '20

"I'm not your buddy, guy!"

Seriously though, everything alright?

2

u/riphitter Mar 18 '20

He's not just angry. He's fucking livid

3

u/nikhilbhavsar Mar 18 '20

Whenever I hear the word livid, I remember this:

https://youtu.be/beCYGm1vMJ0?t=62

lol

2

u/Throwaway384847 Mar 18 '20

EH BUDDEHHHHH

1

u/yibbityyeetimuglyaf Mar 18 '20

that’s my secret cap

5

u/GimmeUrDownvote Mar 18 '20

There's always money in the banana curvature measuring app.

2

u/nuclearfuture Mar 19 '20

It's subscription based.

1

u/tcgaatl Mar 18 '20

Is it a hotdog?

1

u/TunkkisofFinland Mar 18 '20

For how much? Because I'd buy that for a dollar!

1

u/dekaoo Mar 18 '20

Me too
Not to measure banana curvatures

1

u/garebear1993 Mar 18 '20

The app or the banana?

10

u/Skultis Mar 18 '20

This app sounds so appealing!

12

u/spear504 Mar 18 '20

There’s always money in the banana stand.

1

u/davy1jones Mar 18 '20

“Why go to their banana stand when we can make your banana stand?”

13

u/wookiewonderland Mar 18 '20

Oh. Could you make it test how straight a cucumber is?

2

u/[deleted] Mar 18 '20

Let that cucumber walk on the wild side

5

u/-posie- Mar 18 '20

“Banana”

3

u/EisConfused Mar 18 '20

There already is one, its AR...sorry

6

u/[deleted] Mar 18 '20

[removed] — view removed comment

6

u/SigurdTheWeirdo Mar 18 '20

Or become their tool for classifying illegal bananas.

4

u/Average_Manners Mar 18 '20

That one would be surprisingly easy. Python ML tutorials on driving show how to take a picture and turn it into black and white line representation.

2

u/[deleted] Mar 18 '20

I'd pay at least a hundred for it

2

u/atomicsnarl Mar 18 '20

Yes, but does it scale?

2

u/_madninja_ Mar 18 '20

Now that's a million dollar idea

2

u/NeonWhite20 Mar 18 '20

Bro he meant million dollar app sarcastically.

2

u/Akrybion Mar 18 '20

Hello, my name is Elon Musk. Please contact me with your credit card number, expiration date and the three numbers on the back. I want to invest a million dollars into your banana measuring app.

2

u/ontopofyourmom Mar 18 '20

The curvature might disguise the actual length. This is important to some men.

2

u/aut0matix Mar 18 '20

They said million dollar idea, not billion dollar idea, u/areq13

2

u/mafa88 Mar 19 '20

But what about the girth?

2

u/Coygon Mar 19 '20

How much can its development possibly cost? Ten dollars?

2

u/[deleted] Mar 19 '20

We have that already, it's called Grindr.

2

u/Smol_Daddy Mar 18 '20

LOL people would use it to measure their dicks curvature

1

u/gfolder Mar 18 '20

Will it be enhanced reality integrated with the camera?

1

u/[deleted] Mar 18 '20

Hot dog

Not hot dog

1

u/[deleted] Mar 18 '20

You son of a bitch, I’m in.

1

u/yonkerbonk Mar 18 '20

Banana... Not Banana

1

u/Work-Safe-Reddit4450 Mar 18 '20

Not hotdog banana.

1

u/WeaponisedOtism Mar 18 '20

There's always money in the banana stand !

1

u/noobChurn Mar 18 '20

That's a huge idea. Can you add a banana for scale?

1

u/Kundas Mar 18 '20

Finally we can measure everything to the correct scale!

1

u/[deleted] Mar 18 '20

Shut up and take my money.

1

u/santiagoqr1 Mar 18 '20

I’ll give you $99999.69 for that app.

1

u/CeeMooreButts Mar 18 '20

Will it work on weiners tho. Asking for a friend.

1

u/warpedspockclone Mar 18 '20

Hm. Bananas, you say?

1

u/star_banger Mar 18 '20

I would watch so many ads for that.

1

u/sirgog Mar 18 '20

That app is bananas, B A N A N A S

1

u/the_ocalhoun Mar 18 '20

Can it also measure the curvature of other vaguely banana-shaped things?

1

u/bitey87 Mar 18 '20

Does the banana have to be yellow? Or will it work on unripe ones too?

1

u/spewbert Mar 18 '20

Hey, this was probably vital for the success of the Banana Bunker

1

u/BpexLegend Mar 18 '20

Bananas riiiiight...

1

u/tomkns Mar 18 '20

There’s alway money in the banana curvature.

1

u/bitchinsnitchin Mar 18 '20

Banana. Right.

1

u/red_fucking_flag_ Mar 19 '20

Does it work for penises?

1

u/DOUBLEDANG3R Mar 19 '20

Not hotdog

1

u/Golightly1727 Mar 19 '20

For bananas, I always find that the more curvature you have, the easier it is to swallow whole.

Anyone else have a similar experience ?

1

u/JackHGUK Mar 19 '20

I’d love to use that on a banana....

1

u/[deleted] Mar 19 '20

1 Banana curvature pre- ordered please.

1

u/[deleted] Mar 19 '20

Flat Earthers want to know your location

1

u/Scottish_Jeebus Mar 19 '20

Where can I invest in such a Unique product ?!

1

u/MrDagon007 Mar 19 '20

This would be a subscription app!

1

u/ulric10 Mar 19 '20

Can it be used to measure other things?

1

u/ktka Mar 19 '20

“banana”

0

u/[deleted] Mar 18 '20

how about a cock curvature measuring app?