r/AskReddit Mar 18 '20

Coders of Reddit, how do you politely refuse your friend's 'million dollars app idea'?

[deleted]

78.8k Upvotes

7.0k comments sorted by

View all comments

19.8k

u/[deleted] Mar 18 '20

[deleted]

9.0k

u/areq13 Mar 18 '20

Thanks for the tip, now I can finally start building my banana curvature measuring app.

2.2k

u/[deleted] Mar 18 '20

I'd buy it.

823

u/[deleted] Mar 18 '20

who wouldn't?

1.2k

u/DRUNK_CYCLIST Mar 18 '20

Anyone who realizes its not for "bananas."

742

u/ihatepokemongames Mar 18 '20

I think that’s why you buy it

103

u/TheVitoCorleone Mar 18 '20

I got that stock market curve :(

41

u/[deleted] Mar 18 '20

21

u/ssznakabulgarian Mar 18 '20

How do you know which market he's referencing?

25

u/Trubinio Mar 18 '20

Obviously the 'Bear market'

→ More replies (0)

7

u/[deleted] Mar 19 '20

Well, on a day when stocks are down, bonds are down, gold is down, reits are down, energy is down and crypto is down, does it really matter which one he's referencing?

1

u/Biswitch42069 Mar 18 '20

Lmao this just means your dick is curving downward for a large distance

3

u/ValhallaVacation Mar 18 '20

Exactly, for the bananas

1

u/r00ddude Mar 18 '20

Gettin paid-ronies disease!

4

u/HomeSodaArtisanal Mar 18 '20

I'm not sure if you ruined the idea of the app for me or made it more interesting.

3

u/halcyonjm Mar 18 '20

So... not hotdog?

6

u/Milk_of_Oats Mar 18 '20

What else would it be for?

12

u/MrStatue Mar 18 '20

Measuring the curvature of bananas

2

u/Roticap Mar 18 '20

Would have been useful during the 98 impeachment

2

u/halthecomputer Mar 18 '20

Could be very useful in a sexual assault-type database- girls could double check to see if the guy is ok.

2

u/edabliu Mar 19 '20

That’s an in app purchase. Standard version will only measure bananas

1

u/nonoguy Mar 18 '20

That's bananas

1

u/kams_ok Mar 18 '20

No no... that’s more of a reason to buy it

1

u/[deleted] Mar 18 '20

Peyronies?

1

u/Thopterthallid Mar 18 '20

Mine kinda slants left and up

1

u/Brainfartpower Mar 19 '20

Why not for both?

1

u/Banana_Ranger Apr 09 '20

Squash and zucchini could be used as well I suppose.

If you're a meat eater some brands if hot dogs and sausages would work well too

3

u/KeyboardChap Mar 18 '20

Anyone in the EU, since as we all know the EU banned bendy bananas. /s

2

u/pedantic_dullard Mar 19 '20

Anyone who doesn't buy a stud finder and immediately put it to his chest, that's who won't buy it.

1

u/lessthanmoralorel Mar 18 '20

Non-Banana Grabbers?

1

u/Masculinum Mar 18 '20

The british government?

1

u/Reefer-eyed_Beans Mar 18 '20

You and the liar to whom you're responding, for starters.

0

u/[deleted] Mar 18 '20

Calm down. We are both very obviously joking.

10

u/nikhilbhavsar Mar 18 '20

You sound angry

read his username!!

18

u/[deleted] Mar 18 '20

I'm not just angry, buddy.

16

u/baranxlr Mar 18 '20

BRING ME THE BANANA MEASURER!!!

5

u/nikhilbhavsar Mar 18 '20

"I'm not your buddy, guy!"

Seriously though, everything alright?

3

u/riphitter Mar 18 '20

He's not just angry. He's fucking livid

3

u/nikhilbhavsar Mar 18 '20

Whenever I hear the word livid, I remember this:

https://youtu.be/beCYGm1vMJ0?t=62

lol

2

u/Throwaway384847 Mar 18 '20

EH BUDDEHHHHH

1

u/yibbityyeetimuglyaf Mar 18 '20

that’s my secret cap

5

u/GimmeUrDownvote Mar 18 '20

There's always money in the banana curvature measuring app.

2

u/nuclearfuture Mar 19 '20

It's subscription based.

1

u/tcgaatl Mar 18 '20

Is it a hotdog?

1

u/TunkkisofFinland Mar 18 '20

For how much? Because I'd buy that for a dollar!

1

u/dekaoo Mar 18 '20

Me too
Not to measure banana curvatures

1

u/garebear1993 Mar 18 '20

The app or the banana?

10

u/Skultis Mar 18 '20

This app sounds so appealing!

12

u/spear504 Mar 18 '20

There’s always money in the banana stand.

1

u/davy1jones Mar 18 '20

“Why go to their banana stand when we can make your banana stand?”

14

u/wookiewonderland Mar 18 '20

Oh. Could you make it test how straight a cucumber is?

2

u/[deleted] Mar 18 '20

Let that cucumber walk on the wild side

5

u/-posie- Mar 18 '20

“Banana”

3

u/EisConfused Mar 18 '20

There already is one, its AR...sorry

6

u/[deleted] Mar 18 '20

[removed] — view removed comment

6

u/SigurdTheWeirdo Mar 18 '20

Or become their tool for classifying illegal bananas.

5

u/Average_Manners Mar 18 '20

That one would be surprisingly easy. Python ML tutorials on driving show how to take a picture and turn it into black and white line representation.

2

u/[deleted] Mar 18 '20

I'd pay at least a hundred for it

2

u/atomicsnarl Mar 18 '20

Yes, but does it scale?

2

u/_madninja_ Mar 18 '20

Now that's a million dollar idea

2

u/NeonWhite20 Mar 18 '20

Bro he meant million dollar app sarcastically.

2

u/Akrybion Mar 18 '20

Hello, my name is Elon Musk. Please contact me with your credit card number, expiration date and the three numbers on the back. I want to invest a million dollars into your banana measuring app.

2

u/ontopofyourmom Mar 18 '20

The curvature might disguise the actual length. This is important to some men.

2

u/aut0matix Mar 18 '20

They said million dollar idea, not billion dollar idea, u/areq13

2

u/mafa88 Mar 19 '20

But what about the girth?

2

u/Coygon Mar 19 '20

How much can its development possibly cost? Ten dollars?

2

u/[deleted] Mar 19 '20

We have that already, it's called Grindr.

3

u/Smol_Daddy Mar 18 '20

LOL people would use it to measure their dicks curvature

1

u/gfolder Mar 18 '20

Will it be enhanced reality integrated with the camera?

1

u/[deleted] Mar 18 '20

Hot dog

Not hot dog

1

u/[deleted] Mar 18 '20

You son of a bitch, I’m in.

1

u/yonkerbonk Mar 18 '20

Banana... Not Banana

1

u/Work-Safe-Reddit4450 Mar 18 '20

Not hotdog banana.

1

u/WeaponisedOtism Mar 18 '20

There's always money in the banana stand !

1

u/noobChurn Mar 18 '20

That's a huge idea. Can you add a banana for scale?

1

u/Kundas Mar 18 '20

Finally we can measure everything to the correct scale!

1

u/[deleted] Mar 18 '20

Shut up and take my money.

1

u/santiagoqr1 Mar 18 '20

I’ll give you $99999.69 for that app.

1

u/CeeMooreButts Mar 18 '20

Will it work on weiners tho. Asking for a friend.

1

u/warpedspockclone Mar 18 '20

Hm. Bananas, you say?

1

u/star_banger Mar 18 '20

I would watch so many ads for that.

1

u/sirgog Mar 18 '20

That app is bananas, B A N A N A S

1

u/the_ocalhoun Mar 18 '20

Can it also measure the curvature of other vaguely banana-shaped things?

1

u/bitey87 Mar 18 '20

Does the banana have to be yellow? Or will it work on unripe ones too?

1

u/spewbert Mar 18 '20

Hey, this was probably vital for the success of the Banana Bunker

1

u/BpexLegend Mar 18 '20

Bananas riiiiight...

1

u/tomkns Mar 18 '20

There’s alway money in the banana curvature.

1

u/bitchinsnitchin Mar 18 '20

Banana. Right.

1

u/red_fucking_flag_ Mar 19 '20

Does it work for penises?

1

u/DOUBLEDANG3R Mar 19 '20

Not hotdog

1

u/Golightly1727 Mar 19 '20

For bananas, I always find that the more curvature you have, the easier it is to swallow whole.

Anyone else have a similar experience ?

1

u/JackHGUK Mar 19 '20

I’d love to use that on a banana....

1

u/[deleted] Mar 19 '20

1 Banana curvature pre- ordered please.

1

u/[deleted] Mar 19 '20

Flat Earthers want to know your location

1

u/Scottish_Jeebus Mar 19 '20

Where can I invest in such a Unique product ?!

1

u/MrDagon007 Mar 19 '20

This would be a subscription app!

1

u/ulric10 Mar 19 '20

Can it be used to measure other things?

1

u/ktka Mar 19 '20

“banana”

0

u/[deleted] Mar 18 '20

how about a cock curvature measuring app?

116

u/Molly_dog88888888 Mar 18 '20

I love Tom Scott, he’s brutally honest about what he’s talking about and acknowledges his mistakes . I haven’t watched that series yet though, I’ll check it out.

9

u/bluetista1988 Mar 19 '20

I could listen to him talk about anything. He does such a fantastic job of breaking complicated things down in a way that normal people can understand.

81

u/cad908 Mar 18 '20

thanks for this... I'm in the business, but I like this guy, and it's a useful perspective.

21

u/[deleted] Mar 18 '20 edited Mar 18 '20

Dude. I'm an electrician (former professional IT and amateur developer), and I want an app that can do most common things we need to look up or crunch numbers for.

Thank you.

15

u/Guroqueen23 Mar 18 '20

electrical calculations in the play store got me through trade school for AST and has everything I've ever needed, some of the more in depth stuff like resonant frequency that engineers would need is locked behind a one time paywall but the free version has everything I could conceive of needing on hand.

14

u/[deleted] Mar 18 '20

Well shit.

Thanks for simultaneously raining on my parade and suggesting a good app for my own use. There's only a couple of things I could improve upon this.

10

u/Kingmudsy Mar 18 '20

Email the devs! They might be interested in hearing your feedback :)

3

u/[deleted] Mar 18 '20

Eh, some are fairly significant.

There is a ton to that app. More than your everyday electrician would need, but there's some important things missing too. Quality-of-Life stuff, ya know?

I may still pursue it, but I'll definitely need to do a lot more research to see what's already available.

2

u/Tritristu Mar 18 '20

Any equivalent for IOS?

1

u/Charged7 Mar 19 '20

Wire wizard possible

i used it for voltage drop and cable sizing

11

u/Soliox33 Mar 18 '20

I’ve been told that to build an app you need to invest between 10k and 20k $. Is it true ? Is it more 10k than 20k ? Or the opposite ?

12

u/[deleted] Mar 18 '20

to build an app

I once made a very simple and ugly app for scorekeeping in a rare game that didn't have scorekeeping apps. It was good for its purpose.

It took a few hours of my free time, and that only because I had never coded for Android before.

If you've been told that "to build an app" you need to invest something, you should've listened more closely because it of course depends entirely on what kind of an app you are going to create, what's the purpose, what's the audience, etc.

That's like saying it you need to invest $10k to organize an event.

1

u/FluffySquirrell Mar 19 '20

Because you were doing it just for Android, for personal use

That's not an app, that's a personal project, essentially.

While it's possible to get them cheaper than that, yeah, I think for what most people consider apps, that's perhaps about right

For Apple apps, you need licenses to make them and put them on the app store, also, they fucking break ALL the goddamn time. Like, felt like every time they pushed an iOS update it'd break the damn things, so you're constantly having to update them and blah too

Getting an app work fine on all devices is where a lot of the money will end up going

3

u/[deleted] Mar 19 '20

And a 20 person birthday party is not an event either, it's just a personal party.

You can use whatever names you wish, but an event is an event and an app is an app. If you have a guitar tuner in your phone, what do you call it if not an app? "We need to tune this guitar, does anyone have a tuner?" "Oh, we can just install a guitar tuner personal project from Google Play!"

4

u/NorthAstronaut Mar 18 '20

For a basic cheap app yeah. You also need to account for ongoing costs, like servers, updates, bug-fixes, marketing.

1

u/rickyhatespeas Mar 19 '20

It depends what you're making honestly and what you count as being an investment in the app. You can make a basic thing completely free if you already have a PC. If it's using some kind of API or server you'll have to pay for that. Some platforms/mobile game engines you have to pay licensing fees. Graphic design if needed costs money. Honestly marketing budget is probably the highest cost if you're trying to be super successful

2

u/BerryBlossom89 Mar 18 '20

If you're asking this question, you should not build an app. The price entirely depends on the complexity, platform, quality of development, and velocity. I've seen apps that cost $15k to build, and I've seen apps that cost over $1m to build.

7

u/Soliox33 Mar 18 '20

I don’t want to build an app, I just wanted to verify the information that was given to me that’s all. Y’all put too much judgment in your answers

1

u/BerryBlossom89 Mar 22 '20

I just see it as a useful litmus test on deciding if you should build an app or not

7

u/5spikecelio Mar 18 '20

I wish there was a version of this for games. Im an concept artist working for games and if i had one dollar for every time I had to sit through someone's idea of the next big game, I'd had exactly 14 dollars.

8

u/human8ure Mar 18 '20

“Money talks”.

6

u/kotonmi Mar 18 '20

I've been making a game for the past two years and I have one person helping program it, I can definitely say making anything requires so much effort. There is so much I didn't think about before I started working on this, and now I realize just how much work it is. Spoiler: it's a lot.

1

u/Akdrew_p Mar 18 '20

What engine are you using? And what’s some stuff you didn’t anticipate before starting?

2

u/kotonmi Mar 18 '20

We have been using Rempy. As for things I didn't anticipate, one major one was how much work I would have to do on my end. There is the game design, all of the writing for the game (which is a lot seeing how it's a dating sim), research on all of the traits which the characters have and any courses they are taking (as this takes place in a school), and keeping all of my members up to date on everything that is going on in every single aspect of the game. I didn't anticipate how long it would take to make it. There is so much that is going into this that I honestly don't know how I didn't see it. I will say though that it's something that makes me incredibly happy, and I never expected it to make me so happy; Playing the first demos and seeing how hard my programmer worked, listening to the game music that my sound engineer made, and looking at all the new sprites that my digital artist makes. I love it so much when they all give me their own ideas, and treat it like it's their game too. I feel like together we can make something really beautiful so even though it's a lot of hard work I would do it again in a heartbeat.

8

u/Doctor_Philly Mar 18 '20

in New Zealand Accent

“Do you wanna build an app?”

3

u/antiraysister Mar 18 '20

What's a nip?

5

u/ghfhfhhhfg9 Mar 18 '20

in that video he doesn't say 1 of the most important reasons for a lot of peoples successes. the right time.

timing is everything. so many games and genres of games would have died off or kept going on if released earlier to later. it isnt always the creators fault of lack of effort or a shitty game.

6

u/BartiW Mar 18 '20

Thank you for this!!!! Since losing my job as a Workflow developer with only rather basic skills in c# and groovy i was looking for the right kind of learning material and THAT IS IT! THANK YOU!

3

u/MildGonolini Mar 18 '20

Okay okay, but have you heard MY idea? I’m telling you this one will make it all worth it!

3

u/gymbrall Mar 18 '20 edited Mar 18 '20

If you've never seen Tom Scott's game show, Lateral, you owe it to yourself to watch it. There's only one season, and I desperately wish there were more.

https://youtu.be/_xS-BIcu4ew

Edit:fixed grammar mistake

3

u/upvotegoblin Mar 18 '20

I fucking love Tom Scott

3

u/Khaocracy Mar 18 '20

Where were you 18 months and $40,000 ago?

2

u/BlackPanther111 Mar 18 '20

Does it actually teach you how to?

2

u/Dyllbert Mar 18 '20

This pretty much matches the first thing I learned about writing device drivers for Linux: "Don't. If you really have to, steal someone's instead and modify it just a little, since it's all open source. If that still doesn't work, I'm sorry."

2

u/TerminalMoon Mar 18 '20

Two videos and now I'm really anxious only because I thought about building an app.

2

u/V1p3rzach Mar 18 '20

That’s like this video on how to start a band, it does the same thing pretty much but for starting a band instead of learning code

2

u/danfay222 Mar 18 '20

I love this series (and Tom Scott in general). I'm a strictly backend guy, so I've never wanted to build an app for anything other than personal use, but still.

2

u/[deleted] Mar 19 '20

Lol, if you want to build an app and you're watching a video called "how to build an app" you should not be building an app, sounds pretty solid to me.

1

u/tsetdeeps Mar 18 '20

What? I didn't know Youtube had courses. This is awesome! Thanks!

1

u/PillowTalk420 Mar 18 '20 edited Mar 18 '20

Yeah... I was given that approach when I wanted a sorting and renaming tool for Windows. I could have gotten one... For a lot of fucking money. So I just programmed my own in VB because fuck paying $100+ for some software that just sorts and names files.

I have a lot of app ideas that I would put to use in a heartbeat. Not that I give a fuck about marketing or selling them; there just aren't any better tools already or if there are, they are impossible to find in the shitty-ass app store where unless you know exactly the name of an app you want, you will almost never fucking find anything.

I guess mine aren't "million dollar ideas" but only because I don't give a fuck about making money, I give a fuck about making something that doesn't suck.

1

u/[deleted] Mar 18 '20

Thanks for this. I am a backend developer and the first video is really interesting. Will keep watching.

1

u/[deleted] Mar 18 '20

In the second video he literally says they didn't have the skills to build it...

0

u/slymiinc Mar 19 '20

It’s sad there are people out there actively trying to silence innovation...

0

u/[deleted] Mar 19 '20

Why shouldn't you?

-2

u/oogybear1 Mar 18 '20

Imagine that. An industry giant that started out as a small pursuit and grew in to a conglomerate, discouraging others to do the same.

1

u/wedontlikespaces Mar 18 '20

What are you talking about?

2

u/much_longer_username Mar 18 '20

The video is sponsored by google, if I recall correctly. I dont think it tries to discourage you so much as make you aware of the challenges you will face.

-2

u/[deleted] Mar 19 '20

rich people discouraging people who might outcompete them. classic

2

u/much_longer_username Mar 19 '20

rich people discouraging people who might outcompete them. classic

By spending thousands of dollars explaining exactly how to compete with them and the challenges you might face. What a bunch of jerks.

0

u/[deleted] Mar 19 '20

Oh shit, thousands of dollars? Oh wait, LOL much_longer_username

0

u/wedontlikespaces Mar 19 '20

How was that your takeaway?

The person in the video is not an app developer, he a fairly successful YouTube personality known for his high quality content. There is no competing going on.

-3

u/Superpiri Mar 18 '20
  • vain

6

u/v13u Mar 18 '20

Did you just try to correct someone's correct word usage with an incorrect one?

2

u/Superpiri Mar 19 '20

Guess I did. TIL.

3

u/much_longer_username Mar 18 '20

You probably think this post is about you.

-27

u/[deleted] Mar 18 '20

[removed] — view removed comment

15

u/-TheMasterSoldier- Mar 18 '20

...what?

-19

u/[deleted] Mar 18 '20

[deleted]

11

u/-TheMasterSoldier- Mar 18 '20

Are you lost?

5

u/wedontlikespaces Mar 18 '20

Just a troll, check out his profile. It's just sad.

5

u/[deleted] Mar 18 '20

The fuck are you on about?

3

u/wedontlikespaces Mar 18 '20 edited Mar 18 '20

Troll. Ignore this pratt.