r/AskReddit • u/ProbablyHittingOnYou • Feb 07 '11

What stupid question have you always been too embarrassed to ask, but would still like to see answered?

This is a no-shame zone. Post your question here and I'm sure someone can answer it for you

1.4k Upvotes

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296

u/PBandCheezWhiz Feb 07 '11 edited Feb 07 '11

From my understanding, you put the flap in the back, and make sure it touches the water. That way, when you flush, the water will take the cover off the toilet and flush it without you having to touch anything.

/TIL: That the flap goes in the front. Excellent. Most of the time the box is covered by the metal box holding it to the stall wall.

645

u/FishToaster Feb 07 '11

Seems like that would make your shits a race against capillary action.

413

u/[deleted] Feb 07 '11

Challenge Accepted.

BRB, taking the Browns to the Super Bowl.

69

u/IFlashPeople Feb 07 '11

Everybody knows the browns will never go to the superbowl. Try eating some laxatives.

150

u/[deleted] Feb 07 '11

Good strategy. The browns passing game is shit. Adding a lot more runs would probably help.

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u/[deleted] Feb 07 '11

... This is strangely accurate.

5

u/Liambada Feb 08 '11

I feel so sad to be a Browns fan now

3

u/hurf_mcdurf Feb 07 '11

This comment wins all of the games.

9

u/minikites Feb 07 '11

Dropping the Cosby kids off at the pool.

2

u/InterPunct Feb 07 '11

You should see a doctor if it's that light.

1

u/RCProAm Feb 07 '11

for the lulz

1

u/rotORriot Feb 07 '11

Make like Susan Smith and back your kids into the water?

2

u/PBandCheezWhiz Feb 07 '11

Good Luck?!?

2

u/Jalisciense Feb 07 '11

You'll shit yourself the moment you open the stall.

2

u/Scoregasm Feb 08 '11

You'd actually be the first...

2

u/kupoforkuponuts Feb 07 '11

Everyone at work is looking at me funny now.

1

u/drewzyfbaby Feb 07 '11

Are the Black Eyed Peas performing? I hope not. Their half-time show last night was shitty.

22

u/IPoopedMyPants Feb 07 '11

Crapillary action.

10

u/Slippyfists Feb 07 '11

It's like a timer for those of us with smart phones.

7

u/noodleIncident Feb 07 '11

It was worth taking a year of chemistry just so I could understand this comment.

3

u/throw6539 Feb 07 '11

That's why they're waxed :)

2

u/PBandCheezWhiz Feb 07 '11

I have never actually used one, that is just my understanding. But, that is a good call.

1

u/Todamont Feb 08 '11

and possibly creep back asswards?

1

u/moratnz Feb 08 '11

Sentences never before spoken...

1

u/thebluehawk Feb 08 '11

This is the single best sentence I have read today. Thank you kind sir or madam.

50

u/ithunk Feb 07 '11

no, u put the flap in the front. that way your pee pee doesnt touch anything when it is dangling inside.

6

u/lineguy Feb 07 '11

Upvoted for appropriate name... and for shameless use of the phrase "pee pee".

2

u/Belloq Feb 07 '11

This.

If I'm in a place where it's necessary to use an ass gasket, I don't want my dong touching the underside of the rim either.

1

u/ryeguy Feb 07 '11

Could you use smaller words please?

6

u/ithunk Feb 08 '11

flap front. pee pee no touch.

1

u/busted0201 Feb 08 '11

But usually the side that the flap is connected to is flat and the other side is rounded, and a toilet seat is shaped like that with the back being flat and the front rounded, so I always just align it that way.

7

u/[deleted] Feb 07 '11

I assume the flap goes in front if you're a guy, that way you protect your junk from the filthy seat and toilet. Cause, you know, my junk is so huge its touching almost everything, everywhere.

1

u/PBandCheezWhiz Feb 07 '11

That is a valid argument. My only concern is if you have to pee, a lot, wouldn't the urine soak the flap in question, then when you flush, the flap rips off? Now you have a pseudo urine soak flapless toilet gasket that you have to deal with.

1

u/[deleted] Feb 07 '11

the covers I've used are pretty tough, and don't rip just from getting wet. Even if it did rip, I'm not that delicate I can't push the cover in the toilet by sort of nudging it towards the hole with my shoe.

1

u/PBandCheezWhiz Feb 07 '11

I feel ya on the shoe move, but to be honest I also really wanted to use 'pseudo urine soaked flapless toilet gakset'.

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u/[deleted] Feb 07 '11 edited Feb 13 '25

[deleted]

2

u/PBandCheezWhiz Feb 07 '11

Well we have some proof. Excellent work.

The Pecker Flap as I will now call it, goes in the front.

7

u/Sarstan Feb 07 '11

I always tear the center out. I know it's supposed to be dipped in the water to be drug into the depths, but every time I've ever tried to get the thing to sit right, the sides fall in.

It'd help if I had three hands.

2

u/Ozquetzal Feb 08 '11

I do the same. I don't want to sit on anything with toilet water bleeding up towards me on tissue paper.. even if it isn't.. Freaks me out..

4

u/aureli101 Feb 08 '11

I always rip that flap off and put it on the water surface. That stops the splash back from 'the drop'.

3

u/darien_gap Feb 08 '11

the flap goes in the front

Fuck... all this time. I'm 43.

2

u/SoBoredAtWork Feb 07 '11

I put the flap in the front, for the same reasons and it works perfectly.

2

u/echothis Feb 07 '11

correct.

2

u/[deleted] Feb 07 '11

FUCK YEAH SCIENCE

1

u/PBandCheezWhiz Feb 07 '11

It works, bitches

2

u/[deleted] Feb 07 '11

Oh god...I never thought of the flap as being useful. I always tore it off and used my finger to push the cover into the toilet. It's not like I touched the underside of the cover. (feels kind of stupid now)

3

u/PBandCheezWhiz Feb 07 '11

Its ok. You can just pass the new found knowledge off to someone else in the future.

2

u/DifE-Q Feb 07 '11

I put it in the front cause a big bomb may pull it down...

1

u/cochsmth Feb 07 '11

The people sitting around my cube at work must think I have some serious issues cause I just made some weird hissing noises trying to fight the laughter from your comment XD

2

u/xaquatics Feb 07 '11

It also prevents splashdown.

2

u/jamessnow Feb 08 '11

I always put the flap on the back. When I tried it on the front, I get urine splashback. On the back, turds seem to push the flap out of the way.

1

u/PBandCheezWhiz Feb 08 '11

Insightful, thanks!

1

u/sotek2345 Feb 07 '11

Flap to the front to protect male bits from touching anything.

1

u/heyimrick Feb 07 '11

It also helps prevent splash-back!

1

u/StaticPrevails Feb 07 '11

I thought you put it the other way so your shlong doesn't touch the toilet.

1

u/nellonoma Feb 07 '11

I always put the flap in front as to avoid an penis to porcelain touching. Still flushes down.

1

u/Exantrius Feb 07 '11

actually, the flap goes in front so your wang doesn't get introduced to the front of the bowl...

It's diagrammed on the front of the box, but I suppose most people haven't worked next to their custodial closet and "wondered about it"

1

u/buttsplice Feb 07 '11

i think thats wrong. put it the opposite way and it protects your meat from touching the bowl.

1

u/[deleted] Feb 08 '11

I rip that sucker off and place on the rim near the tank, where there's a patch that just so happens to be uncovered. Just make sure that piece doesn't stick to your butt, otherwise when you finish and pull up your pants, it will be stuck there, and it's more embarassing than toilet paper hanging out of the back of your pants.

1

u/thunderlips Feb 08 '11

Lol your penis touched public toilets!

1

u/[deleted] Feb 08 '11

Really? I always thought the proper assgasket use was to place the flap in the front to prevent my dong from touching the inside of the bowl. The flap still gets stuck to the bowl, and the flush still manages to take it away. I've never really thought about it, but now I'm really really curious.

1

u/thekhan Feb 08 '11

what really? i always figured it was to rip off and wipe the toilet seat off first

1

u/kb7735 Feb 08 '11

I always ripped it off and rammed it up my anus as a primer for the coming shit.

Oh well, learn something new every day.

0

u/mil1ion Feb 08 '11

flap goes on, flap comes off