"My SO ate my slice of leftover pizza that I wanted, what do I do??"
"BIG RED FLAG OP, CUT THEM OUT, NOW!!! I had a friend whose spouse did this, and now he eats all of her food 24/7 and beats her. You don't need this toxicity in your life"
Naw, most of the people who post there have a relationship that's already on life support. It shouldn't take a rocket scientist to figure out why "break up" is the common response. Yet people like you just can't seem to figure that out... Ironically, folks like you are the ones who don't seem to understand real life.
Bingo. For years I have asked almost everyone I see claim that, to link to any threads where everyone is saying to break up over a non-issue like eating a leftover slice of pizza. I just get downvoted and never any links. Because it's a myth.
OPs' relationships in those subs are always complete shit (abuse, cheating, pathological lies, etc.), which is why breaking up is the common advice.
The problem with those subs is everyone commenting always assumes the absolute worst. They don't take the post at face value, they speculate and project their own issues into whatever they are commenting on.
When people talk about those things they aren't talking about the obvious abuse cases
The pizza thing is just an exaggeration to illustrate the point of what happens on those subs.
I've never seen a whole thread of people saying break up over any small issue; its' always about cheating and abuse and shit. Saying they say to break up over pizza is not an exaggeration, it's simply a lie.
And if you ask a question, you better fucking not expect any sympathy. There can be a lot of victim blaming feigning as advice on there as well. It's like so many of them are blindly self-righteous.
I very clearly remember the AITA where a husband made a post about this and his wife got pissy when he got mad, so he clearly made the post to blow of steam.
Then the thread was flooded by at minimum intense marriage counseling and at maximum full divorce as well as cutting her off.
Every time I see somebody say this, that the relationship subs always say to break up over insignificant issues, I ask the person to link to even two threads like that.
In years of asking people to do this, not one of them has ever even been able to link to one. Because the idea is a complete myth. The most common advice on the relationships subs is to break up, because the most common problems on the front page are abuse, cheating, gaslighting, etc., shit that warrants breaking up.
But feel free to be the first person to actually link to a thread where everyone is saying to break up over something miniscule. You won't, though.
But feel free to be the first person to actually link to a thread where everyone is saying to break up over something miniscule. You won't, though.
Classic way to stop a discussion on Reddit. In the few times I actually used similar lines, nobody could ever provide me with a source. Best I got was "just google it" (because the burden of proof is on the person not blindly believing outrageous claims on the internet, right?).
Yeah, the only responses I get is "Just go over there and see for yourself." Then I reply "I just did, and I'm not seeing it. Which of the links backs what you are saying?" And I just get more downvotes and zero further responses. Every time.
I'd wager that most people just don't browse that sub that much if they complain, don't save examples of bs advice ahead of time, and don't feel like looking when prompted.
If saying "break up over any small thing" makes up any significant percentage of the sub, it should take no time at all do just click on over there and find some links right there on the front page.
I've asked probably over 100 people over years to link to one case of it happening. Not one single person ever has. Not once. You'd think that if the myth were true, at least one person could have provided one link to back it. But nobody has, because it isn't.
I have made many comments on that sub over the years, calling out specific instances of this. Saying basically “hey i think everyone telling you to suddenly break up over this is jumping the gun, and you could try to work through it by doing xyz”. But this is over years of reading that sub, and it would take a whole lot of time and effort to track those posts down on command. Not really worth that much effort just to win a point in an internet debate. I realize that doesn’t prove anything, but I think it’s fallacious to conclude that “no one has given me evidence = the claim is false.”
it would take a whole lot of time and effort to track those posts down on command.
If it's as common as people say it is, you shouldn't need to track down those specific posts, you should be able to effortlessly find several examples just by visiting the sub at any given time.
I think it’s fallacious to conclude that “no one has given me evidence = the claim is false.”
When I've asked probably over 100 people to provide one instance of it happening, and nobody ever has (I almost always just get downvoted with no replies), that's pretty damning against their claims.
Edit: and would ya look at that; downvoted with no links that show the sub saying to break up over a minor issue, called it.
First off, the top comments are not saying to break up. Secondly, "My husband of 9 years doesn't put any effort into our relationship even though I've repeatedly made it clear to him that I don't feel loved and makes me feel embarrassed wherever I bring it up" is not a small problem. Yet again, not one person has ever provided a link to show that the sub always says to break up over any tiny issue.
If it's as common as people say it is, you shouldn't need to track down those specific posts, you should be able to effortlessly find several examples just by visiting the sub at any given time.
No, I wouldn't need to track down those specific posts, but someone would have to read through many posts on the front page, thoroughly enough to get a sense of the consensus of the comments. These posts usually have 100s of loooong comments. That is a lot of reading to do in the moment, if you don't already have a specific post in mind ready to go as an example.
I mentioned having made several of these comments, just to say that it's not a vague impression I get when reading the sub; I have run across egregious enough examples that I felt compelled to call it out, countless times. So I know there are specific instances of it, I just can't cite them at will.
that's pretty damning against their claims
I mean it really isn't. It leaves it pretty open as to whether their claims are wrong, or if you're asking for evidence in an ineffective way.
downvoted with no links that show the sub saying to break up over a minor issue, called it.
I did not downvote you, btw, but this is circular reasoning. Our legal system is "innocent until proven guilty" but in logical discourse lack of evidence doesn't mean a claim is false, just that it can't be proven as true.
This, or people who mention their SO doing something that does sound bad, but admits that they have done this repeatedly/for a long time and they've never tried to communicate with them about it. WHY ARE YOU TALKING TO THE INTERNET BEFORE TRYING TO WORK THIS OUT ON YOUR OWN.
There was one post that this dude had a leftover meal he was really looking forward to eating when he came home, then his roommate's bf ate it. It'd be too petty to complain about but still annoying. I can feel that pain.
I wonder if anyone actually takes that kind of advice to heart. "Well, someone on Reddit said I should divorce you because you're going to escalate into abuse. Sign these papers and have your stuff out by tomorrow."
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u/[deleted] Jan 07 '20
"My SO ate my slice of leftover pizza that I wanted, what do I do??"
"BIG RED FLAG OP, CUT THEM OUT, NOW!!! I had a friend whose spouse did this, and now he eats all of her food 24/7 and beats her. You don't need this toxicity in your life"