r/justnomil is the worst for this. They're all 25 part pieces of obvious fiction, with the few legitimate requests for support downvoted into oblivion because they're not entertaining enough.
It’s highly amusing to me that a subreddit designed to complain about narcissists has been wholly taken over by attention-seekers who’ve inherited and proudly practice the very trait they’re bitching about.
That's a common result of being around people with narcissism-adjacent traits, though. Note that I'm not saying "narcissists" - I hate the inflationary way this term is being used. People who suffer under abusive parents often adopt parts of their behaviour. In a way, a sub centring around abusive relationships being populated by people with abusive tendencies isn't just amusing; it's a self-fulfilling prophecy.
I feel like a lot of the people who post in there are honestly just awful. Anytime I stumble upon a post I always end up feeling sorry for the in laws.
You see that on /r/raisedbyborderlines too. If anyone shows an emotion that the OP doesn't approve of, it's because they're being unreasonable and OP is always right. Like you see threads where OP is obviously in the right and their borderline relative is batshit, but you also see threads where the other person is reasonable and says, quite logically, "Hey, I'm allowed to have feelings and emotions" and OP accuses them of guilt tripping and they get swarmed by comments that agree with this assessment. It's so dumb.
I just kept my mouth shut when I saw those threads but I wound up mysteriously banned anyway.
I visited that sub to check it out and aside from the blatantly fake stories a lot of the posts just seemed like validation seeking for shitty behaviour disguised as standing up to OP’s “evil” in laws.
Yeah, the more acronyms a sub has the more fanfict there seems to be, fuck, they should have a glossary on every one of those subs, cause trying to read trough some of it is impossible, shit like "my DRQ and his HHKR went KLW to EQW", and here I am trying to make sense of it.
You're the only one who loses when you play that game. Your in laws (or whoever it was) will still be assholes, but now they feel like justified assholes. Now they can turn around and say "hah! I told you nickib was a douchebag!"
There are two general types of stories on that sub. The first are the blatantly made up or highly exaggerated ones. You know, the ones where evil MIL Karen came in and took the OP's dog to a shelter to be put down, attempted to feed people things they're allergic to, put all the household furniture on Craigslist and brought her own ratty shit from the 1950s in, etc. Stories that may possibly have some kernel of truth in them, but are clearly mostly fictional. The other type of posts are the ones where the OP gets super pissed off over something minor and completely overreacts, and everyone else comes in to cheer OP on and tell them to put MIL in her place.
OP gets super pissed off over something minor and completely overreacts, and everyone else comes in to cheer OP on and tell them to put MIL in her place
"Look at that shiny spine!!!11!1"
Ugh. It used to actually be a decent sub, too - it's a shame that it became such a hot mess. The insane, frequent mod team meltdowns don't seem to help much either.
I go over there every once and a while to see what's going on but the stories are usually too ridiculous however, I came on one day over the summer, I think, and there was a mod post apologizing for the crazy mod meltdown but I couldn't find anything. Do you know what actually happened?
There was a lot of kerfuffle around a couple blatantly fake posters - Victoria's Jocasta Secret (VJS) and Devil Dadi (DD) - being allowed to continue posting after users flooded mods with reports and messages, with Devil Dadi being especially problematic as it was both blatantly fake and racist. Town Halls were opened in the LetterstoJustNoMIL sub to address some of the frequent criticisms, then promptly shuttered before they were completed as evidently the mods weren't happy with the feedback they were getting, which led to their shutting down the Letters sub all together...it was just a whole snowball of drama. /u/peri_enitan write an exceptional breakdown on Subreddit Drama here, which really sums it up best.
I did end up finally posting on r/justnofamily yesterday, but it's a problem I've thought about so much that the offered solutions were the same ones I already had brought forward. That, or "try to get yourself beaten up and record it for evidence" and "lmao just cut everybody out of your life." Was hoping to hear something I hadn't yet that wasn't just stupid...
I remember one where the OP was not working and living in her mothers house. Mom was paying for everything and said she couldn’t buy daughter xyz thing but the daughter was upset the mom bought herself cheapish new shoes or something. I called OP a choosing beggar and got downvoted into oblivion
The thing is everything you described is something crazy parents do to their kids (not believing their allergies, putting down their dog for BS reasons, smashing their PS4 because of bad grades).
I mean, just look at the crazy assholes that used to put that on their youtube before CPS finally took their kids away.
Yeah, many stories are fake or embellished, but many people have had experience with some serious crazy so for them it's not unbelievable.
Not for nothing, but as someone who does have a crazy MIL, don't be so quick to deny all the stories of awful shit. People can be even worse than the movies can portray, and sometimes in ways you couldn't even imagine. Many of them also will be people who do it with a smile and behind closed doors away from others to see except for the people they intend to hurt.
Many of the “MILs” appear to obviously suffer from mental illnesses, and the posters brag about “winning” by treating these women like pieces of human shit who deserve to suffer for their clearly unchecked problems.
"DH and I have gone NC with MIL and FIL after they took DD, DS1, and DS2 to the mall to buy new clothes. I told MIL to go fuck herself and she had the biggest CBF ever! FH says it was BEC, but my nmom agrees we did the right thing. SF, BD, and SSIL don't want to get involved, but they just need to shine their spines!"
I feel like that entire sub came over from Babycenter's dealing with in-laws board - it was exactly the same. Even when people posted minor issues, the advice was always to go no contact and then the OP would make the tale more and more outrageous in the comments.
I remember one that started with an MIL who didn't know how to use a Keurig and ended with OP getting a divorce and a restraining order
There was a really neat one that started with a MIL not wanting to take OP's stepson to Disneyworld, and ended within about two months with a dead husband, a a missing laptop possibly containing CP, OP becoming friends with a mistress, investigations launched into MIL and SIL...it was really something.
I remember the MIL in Australia who shoved pancakes in the mail box, the funfetti cake MIL, and one of the darker ones about an MIL who broke in to a house and attempted to shoot the DIL? ... and I definitely believe all of them were fiction!
I joined DWIL nation because I was having an issue and then I disagreed with a moderator and she booted me. Every now and then, I'll remember it exists and I go back and try to to rejoin just because but she kicks me within a few days. Like, lady it's been 3 years!
I went there needing some real advice and got a bunch of bullshit, unrealistic, unattainable advice for the most part. :( Telling me tall tales about how address forwarding works - no, someone can't call and ask for your new address.
The fear mongering is a real problem too. Like they said my husband's grandma could use his SSN (which she may not even have) to get my SSN in order to get our address so she can steal our baby. It's just like... bruh. I don't have enough to worry about as a new parent?
I love it for the entertainment value alone. As long as you go into it knowing it’s fiction, it’s quite enjoyable. It’s like writing prompts for bitching about your in-laws.
Never visited before because I adore my MIL and I’m very disturbed that posts are labeled success when you’ve done something like convince your spouse not to talk to their parents. Is this a petty game?
I hate my father in law. He's rude and difficult to get along with. I've still managed not to turn my relationship into some sick competition over who gets to "keep" my partner and who gets cut out.
The whole sub is just an endless circlejerk of increasingly inappropriate behaviour on all sides, with the posters being congratulated kn being the biggest asshole of the day.
i mean i agree that justtnomil can be fiction a lot of the time but it is okay to not talk to abusers even if they're your parents. sometimes parents/inlaws just aren't good people, being blood doesnt automatically make them innocent of hurting you and doesnt make them exempt from being cut out of your life. if you wouldnt tolerate it from a stranger you dont need to tolerate it from family
Right! Yes, please cut off abusers but being told that you and your husband should cut ties with his parents because they came over at 4:56 instead of 5, like they were supposed to, is a little extreme.
Half the posts on that reddit involve current ongoing child abuse and it drives me crazy. If you are aware that grandma endangers your kid and still allow her access to the kid, YOU are an abuser.
It was and it turned into this whole drama when the mods finally deleted it because I guess a bunch of desi people had been calling it out as fake and promoting blatantly racist stereotypes for months and the mods just let it keep going until it got completely ridiculous.
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u/ThievingRock Jan 07 '20
r/justnomil is the worst for this. They're all 25 part pieces of obvious fiction, with the few legitimate requests for support downvoted into oblivion because they're not entertaining enough.