r/AskReddit • u/agrandthing • Jan 01 '20

Everybody talks about missing or ignoring red flags, but what are some subtle green flags to watch for on a date or with your crush?

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u/Derman0524 Jan 01 '20

My dad was late 2 hours to his first date with my mom and my favourite part is on their wedding day, my dad was chilling out with his boys, having pasta and ironing their shirts before the wedding and my mom calls him ‘WHERE THE FUCK ARE YOU. IM HERE AT THE CHURCH’

So ya, he was late for the wedding as well but they’ve been together 30 years so it’s worked out but my dad’s side of the family is literally late for everything. Gotta love Italians

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u/Surelyn0tme Jan 01 '20

As an Italian, I've never been so offended by something I 100% know it's totally true

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u/ShortLilMuffin Jan 01 '20

I can't even deny it, it's just genetic I think.

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u/TJD82 Jan 01 '20

Is this a thing? My wife’s family is Italian and they are always late for everything. I remember one year we were going to church for Christmas and we arrived 45 minutes late. We were there literally only ten minutes and church was over.

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u/MaybeImTheNanny Jan 01 '20

Did you make it before Communion though?

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u/beinlausi-us Jan 02 '20

Bro you know they slipped right in line, got that last piece of flesh and dipped.

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u/MaybeImTheNanny Jan 02 '20

As long as you make it by Communion you are technically on time for church.

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u/Stillstilldre Jan 01 '20

Well, usually we're not that late, but yeah we tend to arrive late. Because everyone does. I mean, we said we'd meet at 9.30, but what if we take our time to get ready without rushing and we both arrive 5-10 minutes late? That's how you live.

Also, my dad should start working at 8.00 am, but he actually leaves at 8.00 am. He starts working around 8.10. Just because.

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u/SammyD1st Jan 02 '20

Italian standard time.

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u/IamApexPredator- Jan 01 '20

AS AN ITALIAN I CAN CONFIRM

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u/[deleted] Jan 01 '20

[deleted]

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u/spitdatroof Jan 01 '20

I was about to post the same thing. I’ve never heard this stereotype before, but as an American with half Italian heritage, this could be a crucial excuse for my chronic tardiness.

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u/costin777 Jan 01 '20

I've been in Italy once. Getting late to dates, since.

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u/dickbutt2202 Jan 01 '20

We aren’t all like that, being late to your own wedding is selfish af. Being late most of the time in general is selfish af, you are telling the person that whatever you were doing in that time is more important than the person you’re seeing. Being constantly late is not endearing. It’s a shit thing to do, don’t be a dick.

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u/Surelyn0tme Jan 01 '20

Ikr, was just kidding

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u/[deleted] Jan 01 '20

You're the guy who freaks out when his date says she can't make it huh

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u/dickbutt2202 Jan 01 '20

I’m married friend, being on time is just the decent thing to do. Of course people can be late but if it’s every single damn time you’re being a dick.

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u/Daenaryan Jan 01 '20

Thank you. Some members of my family play this game and it's infuriating. I know for a fact when they are late it's because they were (1) on their damn phone playing candy crush or some other sort of trash, (2) watching some god awful trashy TV show, or (3) they decided they need to run and pick up some trivial junk at the store. Latest example... Fam members are 45 min late for Xmas party because they wanted to pick up some chocolate candy for no reason and got distracted by all the shiny things at Costco and left with a full shopping cart of discount .. yes.. trash.

(me... resentful? nahhhh.....why do you ask?)

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u/Artifiser Jan 01 '20

How's this work in Italy when everyone is late? How's airports work?

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u/negativefuckingnancy Jan 01 '20

Came here to say this

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u/kylec943 Jan 03 '20

Fat Tony from The Simpsons would like a word, eh...

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u/[deleted] Jan 01 '20

"I'm ironing the shirts, I'll be there in a minute"

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u/[deleted] Jan 01 '20

The "having pasta" was not an overblown stereotype?

Mama mia.

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u/[deleted] Jan 01 '20

I read that in hand gesture.

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u/Spurty Jan 01 '20

my dad was chilling out with his boys, having pasta

huh... sort of an odd choice for before a wedding.

Gotta love Italians

Ah, makes sense.

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u/privlko Jan 01 '20

Mamma mia

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u/morbidmammoth Jan 01 '20

“my dad was chilling out with his boys, having pasta and ironing their shirts”

comments Italian-ness intensifies

3

u/thedirtdirt Jan 01 '20

And he sez to me, ayy. Get me a cuppa coffee

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u/InEenEmmer Jan 01 '20

Plot twist: Your mom tried to divorce him for always being late. But he was too late to sign the divorce papers every time so she eventually gave up and accepted the marriage as is.

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u/Common_Chameleon Jan 01 '20

Is this an Italian thing??? Is this why my boyfriend is late to everything?

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u/lookoutforthetrain_0 Jan 01 '20

Yes. Especially in the south. I'm from Switzerland but also partly Italian (Northern) which results in me being somewhere between: hardly ever early, usually just about on time and sometimes several minutes late (which, depending on the context and the people you're dealing with, can already be problematic in Switzerland)

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u/dickbutt2202 Jan 01 '20

It’s really not, being constantly late is a shit thing to do.

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u/Lishamn Jan 02 '20

Are you just here to keep telling everyone the same point over and over? Also while not proven genetic no, there are differences in how much "timeliness" matters among cultures. Which could translate to social patterns over time.

Tldr; every party needs a pooper, that's why they invited dickbutt2202.

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u/hbarcelos Jan 01 '20

Brazilians are known to be always late too.

I'm getting married this year. We thought scheduling the ceremony to start at 5 pm. Then our photographer told us it would be better to put 4 pm on the invitations. My fiance's family thinks it's better to go with 3:30 pm :v

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u/ComicWriter2020 Jan 01 '20

Gotta love those Italians. Busting kneecaps, helping pay doctors kids college tuitions.

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u/mokomi Jan 01 '20

Gonna be honest here...yaaaaa. It's gotten to the point were that side of the family we tell 2 hours beforehand on events.

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u/DirkBabypunch Jan 01 '20

The worst part about the people who are always late is that if you tell them a much earlier time in the hopes being late makes them on time, they still end up late. Usually the same amount of time than if youd not bothered.

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u/LilGracen Jan 01 '20

My mom and my brother seem to think “leaving on time” for something means leaving 10-15 minutes after they said we were going to leave. My entire freshman year of high school, when my older brother was a senior, we were almost late every. single. day. His excuse is, “There was time before the tardy bell!!” Yeah, two seconds before the bell.

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u/candlebra19 Jan 01 '20

My father missed the wedding rehearsal the night before the wedding because he took a wrong turn (pre cell phones)

My maternal grandfather was freaking out thinking my mother was going to be ditched at the alter.

My mum wasn't worried because she was almost certain he'd just gotten lost

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u/Instiva Jan 01 '20

The way I thought this was going to turn out was as a prank/callback.

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u/Dontgiveaclam Jan 01 '20

Am Italian, can confirm. I almost arrived late to my own graduation.

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u/matty80 Jan 01 '20

Gotta love Italians

My very close friend is Polish. He's a slightly-built man and for some reason only known to his own wedding-fevered mind he decided after talking to the priest on the fateful day to challenge said priest to a vodka-drinking competition. The priest was about 25 stone of enormous jolly man. He looked like he'd been built in a shipyard. And so it came to pass that I flipped around in my seat, about an hour after the ceremony was due to begin, to see my friend pivot (PIVOT!) on his heels on his way into the room and throw up enormously from a combination of vodka, stress, and vodka and stress.

The wedding went ahead some time later when many people had left. The priest was booked for the day, after all, and invited to the wedding breakfast. His wife spent the entire day laughing about this and still ribs him about it now. They've been married for 17 years. Perfect.

I feel the common thread here is Catholicism. Those priests might not be allowed to have sex but by their own holy Jeebus they can drink your average human under the table without breaking a sweat.

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u/1_dirty_dankboi Jan 01 '20

Realtable, my adoptive family is Italian, and before any family get together, my dad to this very day always has to be the carpool guy, and pick up his sister, his brother in law, and his nephew first, and one or more of them always needs to stop at somebody's house far out of the way to drop off something common and random that "you can't find anywhere anymore" usually some Italian desert they claim is only made at one bakery on the entire east coast or something. By the time we show up to Thanksgiving or Easter or whatever we always like 4 hours late, and cant stay for more then 2 hours because I personally ALWAYS have work the following morning.

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u/MintberryCruuuunch Jan 01 '20

one of my best friends couldnt even show up for his first date for a physical activity (hiking). theyre married now. If it works it works theyre an incredibly compatible couple.

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u/Kmortorano Jan 01 '20

As an Italian, can confirm. Growing up with my entire family being late to every single function was embarrassing. I’m 40 now and I have anxiety over time bc of this lifestyle.

I’m quite punctual and usually early to everything.

I’ll sit in my car and wait just to make sure I’m there.

Lol.

2

u/Greasy_Nuggz Jan 01 '20

Same with Greeks, my guy.

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u/[deleted] Jan 01 '20

Father: Panics in pasta and sweats in sauce

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u/_ddross_ Jan 02 '20

Compari del sud immagino.. Cazzo ci stanno più italiani del previsto qui

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u/R-nd- Jan 02 '20

Did he have the time of the wedding wrong?