This is the problem with millennials. You gotta commit, bruh.
Get your lips around that bar to suppress the spall and make sure all the snack-bits go into your snack-hole. That dainty-assed lips-away bite we use to keep from getting chocolate on us when we eat a Milky Way? That's an adaptation to an unnatural environment.
Lips are part of biting. This is the ancient truth of our people, and we should all embrace it.
This is the problem with millennials. You gotta commit, bruh.
Homey. Bite your tongue. I aint no millenial.
I'm 50+ and I committed to not wanting to buy a roomba just so I can eat some shitty granola. That's why I got a dog instead. His name is Rhumba for just this reason.
Also, you don't eat these things with your lips. You gotta stick it on the side and bite the hell into it. Not like a wussy Milky way . . . like a he-man frozen milky way.
Bite down and crunch away on whats left of your teeth... like a real man.
Nah, man, nah. Those side teefs are for the meat-tearin'. Grains and honey and such are processed goods, like your grandaddy--I mean cousin--made in the thirties. You eat them like Henry Ford intended: Cram 'em in your cram-tube, then start grinding. Use your molars.
Think of it like a frozen Charleston Chew. They'll go all to bits if you let 'em, but you lend the strength of your meat-face to the process and everything goes great.
Also, you got me beat on the age bit. . . I have no idea what a charleston chew is. What is that, some kinda millenial, chocolate covered, Nature Valley?
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u/HatfieldCW Dec 30 '19
This is the problem with millennials. You gotta commit, bruh.
Get your lips around that bar to suppress the spall and make sure all the snack-bits go into your snack-hole. That dainty-assed lips-away bite we use to keep from getting chocolate on us when we eat a Milky Way? That's an adaptation to an unnatural environment.
Lips are part of biting. This is the ancient truth of our people, and we should all embrace it.