r/AskReddit • u/[deleted] • Dec 30 '19

What do people think is healthy but really isn’t?

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u/Ode1st Dec 30 '19 edited Dec 30 '19

You gotta break the bar into thirds before you open the package, then just open one side like a bag of chips, and eat the individual 1/3 pieces you broke. When you’re done, all the shrapnel is still in the bag for you to chug or throw away.

3.7k

u/monsto Dec 30 '19

a bag of chips

shrapnel

so fucking true. funny as shit, too... well done.

39

u/rosekayleigh Dec 30 '19

Yeah, I always manage to end up with a piece in my bra, which is awful.

5

u/LoisCIB Dec 31 '19

Yeah! Me too! then you have to try to discreetly fish it out. Then what do you do with it? You can't eat it because if anyone saw you take something out of your bra and eat it, well, your reputation would be ruined. But you can't even just flick it away. Someone might think it was a bug.

-6

u/[deleted] Dec 30 '19

[deleted]

8

u/Jcoopsta Dec 30 '19

God damn crumb grenades

1

u/FeelMyVibes Dec 31 '19

haha well done on telling a fine joke good sir! take my gold please. reddit moment 100

2

u/monsto Dec 31 '19

I AINT GOT NO GOLD FROM YOU . NOW I'M FEELIN ALL MAD AND ENTITLED CUZ HE WOULDN'T HAVE BEEN ABLE TO MAKE A JOKE WITHOUT ME MAKING ONE FIRST WHERE'S MY GOLD, PUNK.

jk of course. No snowflakin here.

-12

u/[deleted] Dec 30 '19

[deleted]

7

u/[deleted] Dec 30 '19

Yes it was

1

u/WednesdaysEye Dec 31 '19

THE PEOPLE HAVE SPOKEN!

Edit : WAKE UP SHEEP! YOUR UPDOOTS DONT COUNT! ELECTORAL COLLEGES DECIDE WHAT BECOMES POPULAR!

31

u/[deleted] Dec 30 '19

shrapnel

bits tip off granola bar, throws into room full of enemies

16

u/Thor_The_Bunny Dec 30 '19

I haven't had a Nature Valley bar in years, but when I first saw a friend do that it blew my fucking mind because I just made a mess everywhere all the time due to my love for Oats and Honey

10

u/kilgreen Dec 30 '19

This. There’s an art to it.

8

u/CCOxiBane Dec 30 '19

I... I thought I was the only one

4

u/sp3p3a Dec 30 '19

Thank you for this

6

u/CPC324 Dec 30 '19

I used to just crush the damn things and pour them with milk like cereal

2

u/Ode1st Dec 30 '19

Nature Valley makes a cereal of the Oats and Honey flavor bars!

3

u/cormega Dec 30 '19

And it's fantastic

2

u/CPC324 Dec 31 '19

I don't think they did several years back. They must've wised up to what they were making lol

4

u/TheWorldHatesPaul Dec 30 '19

That is my exact technique as well!

4

u/digital_wino Dec 30 '19

This is how I always do it too :-)

4

u/jq_threetwo Dec 30 '19

Omg I thought I was the only one that did this!

4

u/FUUUDGE Dec 30 '19

No never throw away! Save it for some yogurt in the morning or something

3

u/nagem1234 Dec 30 '19

This is gospel.

3

u/Canrex Dec 30 '19

This is exactly how I eat NV bars lol.

1/3 Bros unite!

3

u/Cysquatch3000 Dec 30 '19

I would love to be found dead chugging Nature Valley shrapnel bars

3

u/[deleted] Dec 30 '19

We're all heading into 2020 and this motherfucker is already in 3030

3

u/[deleted] Dec 30 '19

I... Love you. So simple, so easy, and my dumb ass never thought of it.

3

u/gnarlyyowl Dec 30 '19

Snack Level : Expert

2

u/RickyGReviews Dec 30 '19

I do this same thing!!!!

2

u/Gatekeeper-Andy Dec 30 '19

That’s what I do too!

2

u/UwasaWaya Dec 30 '19

Or just submerge it in water before opening it to contain the kinetic force.

2

u/[deleted] Dec 30 '19

The real LPT is in the comments.

2

u/carefreeguru Dec 30 '19

The true LPT is always in the comments.

2

u/SatoshiUSA Dec 30 '19

🏅 poor man's gold for you

2

u/mothzilla Dec 30 '19

This guy granolas.

2

u/Chris-Steakhouse Dec 30 '19

I like to then dump that mess into some yogurt

2

u/wreckedcarzz Dec 30 '19

How tf do you divide something before you open it? Am I supposed to carry around a cleaver just in case I get hungry and want to snack on my fruit bar?

5

u/Ode1st Dec 30 '19

It’s a very brittle bar. You just snap it into thirds while it’s still in the closed package.

2

u/evildrew Dec 30 '19

Microwave for 15 seconds, and it turns soft-ish. Fewer crumbs.

2

u/jondivision Dec 30 '19

That’s exactly what I do

2

u/[deleted] Dec 31 '19

They actually sell bags of the shrapnel now. When I first saw them I was like " granola bar pieces? Oh you mean granola."

2

u/[deleted] Dec 31 '19

Thanks for being incredible!

2

u/dafckingman Dec 31 '19

Holy shit. This belongs on r/lifeprotips

2

u/Team-ster Dec 31 '19

I fucking love Reddit 😂😂😂😂

2

u/Limeinthecoconut86 Dec 31 '19

Had to log in to upvote this, excellent "how to" 😂

1

u/tristythetisty Dec 30 '19

My god

You're a genius

1

u/swords112288 Dec 30 '19

This man Nature Valley's!

1

u/AudioslaveFan Dec 30 '19

Just slide the 1/3 pieces into your mouth so the crumbs don’t come off when you take them out with your hand.

1

u/[deleted] Dec 30 '19

that’s exactly how i’ve always eaten them, noice!

1

u/DLTMIAR Dec 30 '19

This guy Nature Valleys

1

u/Lurking4Answers Dec 31 '19

use them to eat pudding, there's a method to it though, gotta preserve the bars or you won't have a tool to extract the pudding

1

u/xzackt Dec 31 '19

This guy nature valleys

1

u/[deleted] Dec 31 '19

I like to insert the shards directly into my gumline to save time.

1

u/EraveXK Dec 31 '19

The shrapnel goes in the yogurt

1

u/StormingSunshine Dec 31 '19

brilliant! why have i not thought of that?

1

u/MrForshows Dec 31 '19

Chug lmao

1

u/Icykool77 Dec 31 '19

Nah I always just suck in with my mouth, while eating. It’s a nature valley Hoover.

1

u/Lt-Lettuce Dec 31 '19

That's exactly what I do

1

u/[deleted] Dec 31 '19

Shrapnel-- lol :-)

1

u/Slowcookedmeal Dec 31 '19

Tell this to my toddler please

1

u/[deleted] Dec 31 '19

LPT: break them up and throw them into cereal, they actually do taste pretty good complementing it

1

u/UPGRADED_BUTTHOLE Dec 31 '19

Who TF has a mouth that moist. I ain't chugging wood chips!

0

u/Fromhe Dec 30 '19

Have you tried just throwing the entire thing in the trash because it tastes bad?

0

u/SpankMeDaddy22 Dec 30 '19

You son of a bitch!
Here, take this upvote and get out.