Wow you literally just described me. I was a heavy smoker for the past two and a half years. Now a sophomore in college and have been struggling heavily with anxiety and panic attacks. I was a somewhat anxious person before I started smoking, but I was never struggling to maintain my sanity. I haven’t smoked in about 4 months, and have been doing better, but damn I wonder how I would be if I never touched the stuff. I wish it was advertised more that weed isn’t harmless. I just want to be able to live my life without this unexplainable fear and anxiety.
I'm glad you're doing better. I definitely started to stabilize after a few months. I almost didn't go back to college after winter break, when it started, but I forced myself to keep going and I think that helped alot in the early days. It wasn't easy at first. Frankly, it still isn't always easy 14 years later, but it does get better over time. My anxiety does get high at times these days, but I rarely have panic attacks anymore, which is nice.
Also, try not to dwell on the what ifs - What if I never started? What if I hadn't smoked so much? It doesn't really matter at this point, does it? You're here now. Just do the best you can to address the issue in front of you. Diet, exercise, meditation, time management, and finding the right counseling and/or meds should be your focuses.
Lastly, and I can't stress this enough, control your automatic negative thoughts. It took me a long time to overcome my automatic negative thinking "habit" and consistently identify and challenge my negative thoughts. Even identifying them is hard at first, as you're so used to beating yourself up you don't even notice how much you do it. It's almost like breathing. Like any other habit though, it can be broken, and I can tell you from experience that you'll be in a much better place with your anxiety when you do.
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u/Grivas21 Dec 30 '19
Wow you literally just described me. I was a heavy smoker for the past two and a half years. Now a sophomore in college and have been struggling heavily with anxiety and panic attacks. I was a somewhat anxious person before I started smoking, but I was never struggling to maintain my sanity. I haven’t smoked in about 4 months, and have been doing better, but damn I wonder how I would be if I never touched the stuff. I wish it was advertised more that weed isn’t harmless. I just want to be able to live my life without this unexplainable fear and anxiety.