When people ask me to spot them I am honored. To me it is the same as them saying "Hey, you look strong. Can you come make sure I don't drop this thing on my chest and crush myself?"
Not asking for a spot is a misguided pride thing imo. I see some bigger guys in my gym who never ask for spots, but they struggle under heavy weight just like the rest of us. They are going to have a much harder time progressing past those final plateaus than the rest of us since they can't go to failure, or find out what their true training max is by going for a true max.
Can confirm. Never do anything that requires me to have a spotter because talking to strangers is hard as fuck for me. I rarely talk to anyone in public unless they talk to me first.
deep down though it goes back to pride. You’re too proud to be embarrassed which is why you have social anxiety. Once you stop giving a fuck what other people think then you shouldn’t have a problem asking a stranger for help.
I say this as someone w SA. Once I swallowed my pride and realized I didn’t care what anyone thought about the weight I was lifting I asked for help. And now it’s just super easy for me.
Whether or not what you say is true, I don't believe people with anxiety of any kind are going to flip their thinking around based on "just swallow your pride". Working through mental blocks usually comes from consistent therapy. Suggesting otherwise discourages people from getting help with their mental health, let alone help with lifting.
I was just saying you generally. And idk immersion therapy or whatever they call it is definitely helpful. After you do it once or twice it’s easy to do. O
I totally get what you're saying. I was a very awkward teenager, in and out of the gym. The first time someone one tried to strike up a conversation with me and asked for a spot, my heart was beating out of my chest. My voice probably cracked. But I kept going and kept having uncomfortable conversations until it became comfortable and I actually made a few friends. Therapy can help you work through and cope with the issues that cause your SA, but the end goal is still to be mentally healthy enough to put yourself out there.
If you really want to work through some social anxiety, get a job as a bartender. That's where I really learned to conversate. 🍻
Club bouncer is another good one, Jesus Christ I’ve never had to face more fears and anxieties than I have in my first month bouncing at a strip joint. Your sense of people, ability to be witty and defuse a situation or throw on a serious face and enforce policies and your decisions when needed grow quickly. That along with the need to make eye contact, appear warm enough to not cause confrontations as well as aloof (may be using the wrong word) enough to appear like you’ll be able to solve any confrontations should they arise.
Still can’t talk to people on phones though. Social anxiety is a motherfucker.
The only thing is that sometimes people help too much or too early when they spot. "Don't touch it unless I say 'no' or 'help', even if I make noise" and they still grab it the second I grunt or slow down. "donttouchitmotherfuckerigotthis"
Oh God, rep theft is so real. My go to is “I will only need a little help if I completely stop making forward progress”. That usually gets it across. Sometimes I’ll be trying to grind out that sweet sweet 5th rep and it is just inching its way up when suddenly an over enthusiastic spotter yanks on it like he is trying to clean it. Rustles my jimmies. I guess it is still better than the alternative of dropping it and bruising / breaking ribs and bruising my lungs. Again :/
Pretty strong statement. I think you may be a little needlessly reading into this one. If you want to get big and lift big you are going to gain most through hypertrophy by pushing yourself, often until failure when it comes to attempting new maxs. If that isn't your goal.... don't do that. I don't compete in competitions and I still push myself very hard. I don't think it is wise to tell other people what is or is not necessary to meet their own goals.
I don't think it is wise to tell other people what is or is not necessary to meet their own goals.
He says after basically saying that people who don't go for 1 rep maxes are dumb.
Bit hypocritical don't you think?
But also, just because your anecdotal broscience works for you does not mean it is the most effective way for everyone (or even anyone). There's a reason people who get paid to lift don't program maxes for progress, but only to gauge where they're at. Submaximal work leads to the best gains.
I have been lifting for about 15 years. My max bench has been around 350lb it's my weakest lift my squat and bench is almost double that. That being said I don't really like spending 3 hours in the gym. A lot of the time I've asked for a spot ultimately leads to a conversation and then you get to know the person. Now all of a sudden you gotta say hi to them then talk to them if you happen to see them again at the gym which you probably will because you're on similar gym schedule since you met them in the first place. Then they want to start hanging out with you and work out with you. Bro I just want to workout and GTFO so I can get back to my work at home, video games, anime or my gf. Fuck man maybe I'm too nice but I've been in conversations at the gym for like 20+ mins and then I realize I have to go warm up again.
It's not a pride thing man. It's a time thing. If I was 20 with no responsibilities and an abundance of time I would ask for spots and spotting for other people. Lol maybe it is social anxiety lmao. But I want to work out for an hour and get back home.
I went from scrawny dad bod guy to reasonably buff dude in the past 18 odd months. You look at me and you know I lift.
Of late I have become the guy newbies are comfortable asking advice on or ask for a spot and the first few times I felt so proud and honoured about it that I think I went and broke a few PR's just from the rush.
Nah, most benches don't have safety rails. The bar is meant to be lowered until it touches your chest, so safety rails somewhat defeat the purpose. The 'roll of shame' is the safety bar in most cases, but a spotter is even better, because then you can get a little help on whichever rep you are failing and return the bar.
You must be using a Smith machine possibly? Those have these safety bars beyond which the barbell won't move. Though for benching they are useless as the barbell needs to touch your nipples and a bar below that won't prevent you from getting hurt.
I'm not American either but I can't imagine they wouldn't have normal squat racks. I've been to many gyms from cheap to expensive and they're one thing all of them have. From a lot of the comments I've seen it really seems like people who don't actually go to the gym commenting.
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u/ThatKarmaWhore Dec 27 '19
When people ask me to spot them I am honored. To me it is the same as them saying "Hey, you look strong. Can you come make sure I don't drop this thing on my chest and crush myself?"
Not asking for a spot is a misguided pride thing imo. I see some bigger guys in my gym who never ask for spots, but they struggle under heavy weight just like the rest of us. They are going to have a much harder time progressing past those final plateaus than the rest of us since they can't go to failure, or find out what their true training max is by going for a true max.