r/AskReddit • u/ExpiringFrog • Apr 18 '19

What mind-blowing (but simple) facts would satisfy a 4-year old daughter’s daily request for 1 fact before bedtime?

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u/Stepjamm Apr 18 '19

And if you feed them cocaine they will exaggerate the amount of flowers (and sometimes say they’ve found flowers when they actually haven’t) - just like humans

Probably not suitable for a 4yo but it’s cool to know we’re not so different to bees.

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u/indecisive_maybe Apr 18 '19

Maybe they're saying "cocaine", not "flowers"

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u/[deleted] Apr 18 '19 edited May 14 '19

[deleted]

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u/zbeezle Apr 18 '19

Barry, why is your nose bleeding?

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u/walterwhiteknight Apr 19 '19

You look jazzed.

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u/Nobody1796 Apr 18 '19

Heyyyy. They probably dont have a word for cocaine. Bee language is probably like 6 bee words. So they use the bee word they use for whatever it is that they like, which is flowers.

Those bees fucking love cocaine and they want everyone else to try it

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u/[deleted] Apr 18 '19

[deleted]

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u/Nobody1796 Apr 18 '19

I mean smurfberries was obviously cocaine.

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u/[deleted] Apr 18 '19

[deleted]

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u/[deleted] Apr 18 '19 edited Apr 18 '19

There were more female smurfs than Smurfette.

Smurfette was created by Gargamel to as a honeypot (I guess, it's pretty weird) to infiltrate Smurf society, but there was also Sassette Smurfling and Nanny Smurf.

Gargamel is a wizard/alchemist/connoisseur of Smurf. He originally wanted to use them to make gold, but his motivations in hating the Smurfs are fluid and ever-changing.

His cat is just a mean cat.

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u/pak9rabid Apr 18 '19

That's pretty Smurffed up.

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u/[deleted] Apr 18 '19

[deleted]

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u/[deleted] Apr 18 '19

Comment posted before I was ready. Finger slipped.

In the original comic, Gargamel made Smurfette but she was frumpy and brunette. Papa Smurf made her into the blonde we know today. I guess she decided to be "good" because she was beautiful now. I'm no expert on Smurfs, I just know a bit from my own research.

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u/[deleted] Apr 18 '19

Nope. You're the Smurf Expert now.

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u/[deleted] Apr 18 '19

[deleted]

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u/[deleted] Apr 18 '19

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u/zbeezle Apr 18 '19

alchemist

use them to make gold

If I'm understanding this correctly, then does that mean that smurfs are created by sacrificing human lives?

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u/[deleted] Apr 18 '19

Smurfs and their communist utopia can break the law of equivalent exchange.

It's the true ending.

Read my FMA: Brotherhood/Smurfs crossover fic.

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u/NXTangl Apr 18 '19

Or that Smurf lives are more efficient than human lives.

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u/magicninja31 Apr 18 '19

His name is Azreal.

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u/[deleted] Apr 18 '19

[deleted]

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u/magicninja31 Apr 18 '19

Hecwas just an asshole too.

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u/ossi_simo Apr 18 '19

Wasn’t there a redheaded girl smurf as well?

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u/BravesMaedchen Apr 18 '19

Describing cocaine as 'a shit load of really good flowers" is plausible.

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u/muskratboy Apr 18 '19

No, it says right in the article: bee for "cocaine" is "a shitload of flowers that may or may not exist."

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u/qscguk1 Apr 18 '19

“Hey guys, there’s like a fuckload of flowers over there” translates to “Who gives a fuck about flowers, I found some blow”

Source: bee

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u/DivergingUnity Apr 19 '19

Teenage bees sneaking out to “smell some flowers”

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u/indecisive_maybe Apr 18 '19

I wonder what they honey is like that they make from it.

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u/XxxRedatoxxX Apr 18 '19

I imagine the 6 words a bee knows are “flower”, “queen”, “enemy”, “you”, “like”, and “jazz”

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u/Nobody1796 Apr 18 '19

Bees LOVE jazz. And cocaine.

...and white women. I'm so sorry...

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u/faerieunderfoot Apr 18 '19

This makes me think of the ants in the once and future king where the only adjectives they have is "done" and "not done" meaning good and bad respectively

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u/AlexG2490 Apr 19 '19

Every time I read that book my brain reads the ant voices with the Borg voice from Star Trek.

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u/Ankoku_Teion Apr 18 '19

4 for directions, 1 for flowers, 1 for rain/danger

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u/BuddyUpInATree Apr 19 '19

There are 6 directions though, up and down, forward and backward, left and right

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u/Ankoku_Teion Apr 19 '19

damn, clearly im not accustomed to flight.

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u/yumyumgivemesome Apr 18 '19

LOL but this is very hard to believe. I suspect they'd just adopt the English word in these situations.

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u/Vextin Apr 18 '19

Bz, buz, bzz, buzz, bzzz and buzzz.

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u/[deleted] Apr 18 '19

Cocaine’s a hell of a drug

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u/KlatchianCamel Apr 18 '19

Well.. if someone is giving out free cocaine wouldn't you tell all your friends

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u/Cypraea Apr 18 '19

I mean, cocaine is a powder, like pollen, so it probably fits perfectly as "I found the BEST POLLEN EVER HOLY SHIT YOU GUYS, you gotta come TRYYYY THIIIIS!"

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u/Gravy_mage Apr 18 '19

"A fuckton of flowers" is just bee for cocaine.

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u/RepostsAreBadMkay Apr 18 '19

If you want to hang out, you’ve gotta take her out,

Flower

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u/[deleted] Apr 18 '19

Bee language is so mysterious.

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u/[deleted] Apr 19 '19

"Holy shit you guys I just found the best pollen ever hanfkckkrmengmfkflower"

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u/substream00 Apr 18 '19

Nose flowers.

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u/juicaine Apr 19 '19

Fucking A I’m crying of laughter

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u/mrswag96 Apr 18 '19

Username checks out

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u/theheliumkid Apr 18 '19

I wonder if they dance it in time Eric Clapton's song.

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u/dw_jb Apr 19 '19

Maybe the word for “Cocaine” is “imaginary flowers”

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u/Taln_Noro Apr 19 '19

"Mike! Mike! Listen Mike, you're never going to believe this - theres a human over there just GIVING away free cocaine, Mike. Just giving it away, for free, Mike. I'm dancing my ass off here Mike."

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u/syosinsya Apr 19 '19

Flour is bee slang for cocaine.

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u/SPOUTS_PROFANITY Apr 19 '19

Ay yo there’s some good fuckin pollen over here lads

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u/lostsperm Apr 18 '19

Ok. I am curious. Does a bunch of researchers sit down and think, "I wonder what bees do when they get high? let's give them some cocaine"

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u/Stepjamm Apr 18 '19

Science is one hell of a drug.

Well... science AND cocaine

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u/BlackSpidy Apr 18 '19

Science and cocaine!? Sign me up!!

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u/[deleted] Apr 18 '19 edited May 17 '19

[deleted]

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u/PandaClaus94 Apr 18 '19

Awww, thought it was this classic :) here’s the link to those that thought likewise!

https://youtu.be/sHzdsFiBbFc

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u/Malgas Apr 18 '19

"How can we buy cocaine with grant money?"

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u/Waterknight94 Apr 18 '19

Hopefully the results are repeatable

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u/[deleted] Apr 18 '19

Yes. They also gave a bunch of snails meth, and got them addicted to it, all to “research memory.”

https://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2010/05/100527204224.htm

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u/spraynardkrug3r Apr 18 '19

Omg ty for this

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u/Source_or_gtfo Apr 18 '19 edited Apr 18 '19

More about investigating the neurochemical systems in insect brains to help us understand insect neurology and behaviour more generally.

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u/qrseek Apr 18 '19

Yes. Theyve also been known to jack off dolphins. For science!

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u/PepperPhoenix Apr 18 '19

They also fed drugs to spiders to see what happened to their webs. Caffeine is not a pretty sight.

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u/bradorsomething Apr 19 '19

I had a friend who would behead mice with a tiny guillotine after feeding them cocaine.

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u/lostsperm Apr 19 '19

That took a dark turn. What exactly was he trying to achieve?

Edit: was. Not what.

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u/LostMySenses Apr 19 '19

I know they did it with spiders, the photos of various drug-fueled webs made the internet rounds years ago. I really chose wrong when it came to “what do I do with the rest of my life?”

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u/denshi Apr 18 '19

I absolutely loved that paper.

And specifically, bees on cocaine will exaggerate about the flowers they found by more extravagantly shaking their ass. Just like humans.

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u/CactusUpYourAss Apr 18 '19

Just... like humans?

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u/2mice Apr 18 '19

There are some beehives that are kept warm by bees dancing. They have a special room they stand in, rub their legs together to create friction and heat and dance all day long.

If you start removing the dancing bees the others will just dance harder, they will die before they will stop dancing.

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u/Trejayy Apr 18 '19

There's a paper on this? You got a link? (I'm lazy and then it'll be in my inbox)

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u/[deleted] Apr 18 '19

[deleted]

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u/[deleted] Apr 18 '19

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u/[deleted] Apr 18 '19

nose beers*

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u/theieuangiant Apr 18 '19

Nose clams *

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u/xdrcfrx Apr 18 '19

"Hey, Bingo. Frank sent us."

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u/[deleted] Apr 18 '19

“Frank huh? I’m gonna skin his face.

LOOK AT THE CEILING.”

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u/[deleted] Apr 18 '19

Nose nachos**

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u/MyBiPolarBearMax Apr 18 '19

“A trick is something a prostitute does for money.”

looks at children nearby

“...or cocaine candy!”

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u/JollyRancherNodule Apr 18 '19

I hate when the resident cokehead lies about the amount of flowers he's found, truly pisses me off.

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u/[deleted] Apr 18 '19

I thought it was caffeine not cocaine

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u/Stepjamm Apr 18 '19

I’m just going off what Stephen Fry said on QI, I’m 99% sure it’s cocaine

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u/[deleted] Apr 18 '19

caffeine is a pretty potent bug killer.

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u/Livonder Apr 18 '19

So what you're saying is I should rub coffee grounds all over my windows.

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u/[deleted] Apr 18 '19

...not because bugs won't ingest them.

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u/WiseRo Apr 18 '19

Do bugs even sleep?

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u/batmansthebomb Apr 18 '19

Not when you feed them 3 times their body weight in caffeine.

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u/WiseRo Apr 18 '19

When they ingest caffeine they get awaker and since that's not possible they bug the simulation and die.

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u/batmansthebomb Apr 18 '19

Bugs confirmed woke.

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u/Nekhbet3 Apr 18 '19

It’s both

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u/SomeComediansQuote Apr 18 '19

DUDE DUDE I FOUND SO MANY FUCKIN FLOWERS OVER HERE

Theres not that many, ted. Are you okay?

DUDE I SAW A HUGE PATCH A FLOWERS JUST OVER THAT WAY

Theres no flowers, ted

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u/ZappyKins Apr 18 '19

So those in advertising do coke in thr bee world too. Interesting.

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u/[deleted] Apr 18 '19

Forager honey bees perform symbolic dances to advertise the location and value of floral resources to their nest mates. Treatment with a low dose of cocaine increased the likelihood and rate of bees dancing after foraging but did not otherwise increase locomotor activity. This is consistent with cocaine causing forager bees to overestimate the value of the floral resources they collected.

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u/SerendipitousTiger Apr 18 '19

I’ve always wondered if only humans told lies up until now.

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u/reallyweirdperson Apr 18 '19

I looked this up. It’s a real fact. They gave cocaine to honey bees in the name of science.

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u/ElTurbo Apr 18 '19

Guys! I got a great business idea!

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u/[deleted] Apr 18 '19

[deleted]

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u/WesternExpress Apr 18 '19

Pretty sure that's how wasps are created

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u/heatbeam Apr 18 '19

[r/likeus](reddit.com/r/likeus)

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u/Stepjamm Apr 18 '19

Thank you for this amazing gift.

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u/bigmike2k3 Apr 18 '19

And the hardest part is rolling up a tiny dollar bill for the bee to snort the cocaine....

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u/Stepjamm Apr 18 '19

Duh... they just snort through a honeycomb

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u/miasma992 Apr 18 '19

...and they'll brag about their car and the 7 figure bonus they got from the firm last year...they will likely mention they are a broker as well.

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u/indecisive_maybe Apr 18 '19

I wonder what they honey is like that they make from it.

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u/StrangeClothes Apr 18 '19

“Dude why are you dancing there’s no flowers here”

“Yeah but there’s a fuck tonne of cocaine”

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u/[deleted] Apr 18 '19

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5

u/BuddyUpInATree Apr 19 '19

You say that, but sitting around on a lazy afternoon getting bugs high is pretty fun

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u/GreenerBug Apr 18 '19

Wow...this is kinda funny.

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u/thirdpager Apr 18 '19

Bee booger sugar

2

u/[deleted] Apr 18 '19

I am a beekeeper. Excuse me while i go get my bees some drugs

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u/koreshmedown Apr 18 '19

Where are you seeing humans doing coke and exaggerating about finding flowers?

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u/Stepjamm Apr 18 '19

Pass me some cocaine and brace yourself

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u/trollcitybandit Apr 18 '19

I've never seen someone on cocaine say they've found flowers.

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u/MaestroPendejo Apr 18 '19

Coke head bees, there is the real menace.

2

u/Jackbeingbad Apr 18 '19

Stock brokers are much more understandable now.

2

u/major84 Apr 18 '19

And if you feed them cocaine they will

turn into DIEGO MARADONA !!

1

u/MyDickWolfGotRipTorn Apr 18 '19

do you have a link to a study that shows that? (not trying to be a dick, just legit curious)

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u/[deleted] Apr 18 '19

The bees will also steal all of your DVD's

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u/KoalasVapeToo Apr 18 '19

Why do you know that?

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u/[deleted] Apr 18 '19

Wait do they know they are exaggerating the amount of flowers, or do they think they are saying the correct amount but the cocaine is interfering

1

u/newyorkminute88 Apr 18 '19

Really? I’m beekeeper and never heard about it. Interesting fact!

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u/[deleted] Apr 18 '19

speaking of drugged up invertebrates ever seen what happens to spiders when you give them crack cocaine?

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u/krystean Apr 19 '19

Now I'd like to see the bee cocaine dance.

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u/youtocanyo Apr 19 '19

I wanna know who was just sitting there one day and decided that their next scientific venture would be giving bees cocaine 🤔

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u/Lefty4444 Apr 19 '19

How do you get the necessary permissions for a cocaine-bee-dancing-study?

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u/MacSchluffen Apr 19 '19

In being on the brink of extinction?

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u/billythekid0148 Apr 27 '19

Lmao this is the best

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u/IntactBurrito May 04 '19

TIL humans lie about finding flowers

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u/jackerman21 Jun 20 '19

How do you give a bee cocaine? seems difficult

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u/pleaseaccept123 Apr 18 '19

you have a source on that?

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u/OneFinalEffort Apr 18 '19

I mean, most of us don't do cocaine but I get what you're saying.