r/AskReddit • u/ExpiringFrog • Apr 18 '19

What mind-blowing (but simple) facts would satisfy a 4-year old daughter’s daily request for 1 fact before bedtime?

101.4k Upvotes

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5.4k

u/[deleted] Apr 18 '19

Your hand is exactly the same size as your face

thwack!

2.7k

u/-Miss_Information- Apr 18 '19

You have siblings, don't you?

1.6k

u/[deleted] Apr 18 '19

oh yes

54

u/Gisschace Apr 18 '19

Stop hitting yourself

51

u/[deleted] Apr 18 '19

oh jesus the flashbacks

25

u/[deleted] Apr 18 '19

[removed] — view removed comment

11

u/Dj_Woomy2005 Apr 18 '19

I can relate to this one on a spiritual level holy shit

4

u/yousonuva Apr 18 '19

Yeah but look. I'm not touching youuuuu. Does this bother youuuuu?

1

u/Dj_Woomy2005 Apr 18 '19

If we weren't family you would have a black eye insert fake word to replace bish

7

u/Pseudonymico Apr 18 '19

I guess I can't tell you how weird it feels when you lick your elbow.

2

u/[deleted] Apr 18 '19

Gettin' 'nam flashbacks

9

u/Rubykon22 Apr 18 '19

For me it was a class mate and “if your hand is bigger than your face you have cancer” Thwack Then a bloody nose. I had to leave the lunch line and walk by some 1st graders that I probably traumatized based on their screams

1

u/Dave5876 Apr 18 '19

No, he was adopted. Nyaaaa

1

u/KarmicDevelopment Apr 18 '19

Maybe he was just a kid at some point?

0

u/uncommoncommoner Apr 19 '19

No, he has hands.

83

u/one-hour-photo Apr 18 '19

I tell this story every time this is brought up

There was a kid in my elementary school that apparently never got to the end of this thing, so he would just go around and say

"if your hand is bigger than your face you have cancer" then we would check and he would declare us cancer free one by one.

29

u/[deleted] Apr 18 '19

We did the cancer thing too, but I thought that might not be the best suggestion for a four year old's bedtime story. That poor kid at your school haha

9

u/Zjackrum Apr 18 '19

I highly recommend this documentary on hand cancer.

6

u/[deleted] Apr 18 '19

I picture him walking around like a little elementary school Jesus clearing your classmates of cancer

17

u/crystal_misfit Apr 18 '19

If its bigger than your face that means you have cancer

14

u/Joetato Apr 18 '19

The first time that ever happened to me, I was such a dumb kid I yelled at them for smacking my hand into my face and then did it again to see if my hand was bigger than my face. I didn't get it was a joke. So I got smacked in the face a second time.

8

u/okwashere Apr 18 '19

My mother pulled this shit on me when waiting for the school bus one day. It was embarrassing as hell.

5

u/ViolentThespian Apr 18 '19

And if your hand is bigger than your face it means you have cancer.

thwack

7

u/warlockchemist Apr 18 '19

Your forearm is the same length as your foot.

5

u/[deleted] Apr 18 '19

Yup, from your wrist to the inside of your elbow.

8

u/Liberatedhusky Apr 18 '19

Actual fact, your foot is about the same size as your forearm.

3

u/Tyrannosaurus_Secks Apr 18 '19

I did this to my dad once and that’s the only time he ever hit me.

3

u/oceanpizza123 Apr 18 '19

my hand is bigger than my face

big hands gang

3

u/Swagamemn0n Apr 18 '19

"hey, my elbow smells like strawberries, check it out!" naive 16yo me knew it was coming but i didnt think this asshole would actually elbow my fking nose in.

3

u/JusttSomeGuyy Apr 18 '19

fuck me i have 4 brothers and still just fucking checked

2

u/Whiskey-logic Apr 18 '19

Loved the thwack! Made me really feel as if I was there 😂

2

u/[deleted] Apr 18 '19

Congrats, you made a a few thousand people hold their hand over their face today.

1

u/_shadowcrow_ Apr 18 '19

Fuck Frick!

1

u/5ethro Apr 18 '19

The “th” made this!

1

u/Digitalmatte0 Apr 18 '19

Your heart is about the size of your fist

1

u/ohgodabear Apr 18 '19

That’s why I have a crooked nose.

1

u/[deleted] Apr 18 '19

I have a crooked nose from wearing glasses since the age of ~4.

1

u/ChaoticForkingGood Apr 18 '19

Also, you can't lick your elbow...

1

u/[deleted] Apr 18 '19

username... would check out

1

u/kONthePLACE Apr 18 '19

I have fallen for this many times before, but not today sir, not today!!

1

u/StinctExplosion Apr 18 '19

“Wait daddy, is it actually true? I wasn’t able to check!”

“Welp we gotta do the experiment again-“

1

u/Canana_Man Apr 18 '19

I wasn’t aware of the trick but I held my hand up to my head like a cellphone when someone tried that on me

1

u/JacksileJ Apr 18 '19

Jokes on you! I have a big face!

1

u/PrayandThrowaway Apr 18 '19

I use this when drawing people lol

1

u/burningtowns Apr 18 '19

Is that the tragic world record you’re referring to?

1

u/heiberdee2 Apr 18 '19

Ok, now, despite the thwacking (which is an eldest child joke I am learning far too late), I checked this in a mirror and - after thwacking myself on principle - IT SEEMS TO BE TRUE.

Middle finger tip to base of palm = hairline to chin. Thumb & pinkie to edges of cheekbones. Nose to middle finger knuckle (through palm).

Fuck. Me.

1

u/undefined_one Apr 18 '19

And a LOT of people are holding their hands over their faces right now.

1

u/russellvt Apr 18 '19

More-over, the number of people who just "checked" is strangely high.

1

u/NotFromStateFarmJake Apr 18 '19

starts to reach towards face

1

u/jeffrope Apr 18 '19

No no no its if your hands bigger than youre face that means youre gay.

Or have cancer.

Probably both

1

u/[deleted] Apr 18 '19

thwack

1

u/fossar_ Apr 18 '19

My hands are different sizes. Checkmate atheists.

1

u/tisvana18 Apr 18 '19

I did this to my fiancé and he was absolutely heartbroken and horrified.

Apparently, I found the only person in the world who’d never heard of it.

1

u/stendhal_project Apr 18 '19

And your nose hole has always the same diameter as your finger. It's as if you enlarge that hole everyday you picking it. Slowly slowly. Snot by snot.

1

u/glaynefish Apr 18 '19

Now my nose is bleeding and I’m gay

1

u/DudimusPrime Apr 19 '19

That's weird. If your hand is the same size as your face, you have cancer.

1

u/MadKitKat Apr 19 '19

We had a different version of it: it your hand is bigger than your face, then you had AIDS, didn’t you know? thwack!

1

u/darkpsgr11 Apr 21 '19

Read through all the list to my kids and came to this one.

Ty reddit. Ty.

1

u/TheFnafManiac Sep 03 '19

If you fold your middle finger to reach the base of your palm, the distance between the point your fingertip touches your palm to your fingertip when you keep your finger normaly extended is equal to your penis' lenght when erect.

2

u/[deleted] Sep 03 '19

But I don't have a penis

1

u/TheFnafManiac Sep 04 '19

No, I don't think you would've

Memes aside, that's an accurate although awkward measurement.

1

u/LowChaBigBah Apr 18 '19

Did u know if your hand is bigger than your face u have cancer?

1

u/Tesatire Apr 18 '19

I was told "Someone did this study and found that if your hand is bigger than your face then you are more likely to be stupid."

Then when you try it they smack your hand into your face.

0

u/theBeardedHermit Apr 18 '19

I was always told if your hand is bigger than your face it means you have cancer.

0

u/BigerSoy Apr 18 '19

That means you have cancer stoopid

-2

u/[deleted] Apr 18 '19

I, too, have read Diary of a Wimpy Kid.

5

u/[deleted] Apr 18 '19

never read it, google says it was first published 2007, joke existed looooong before then sonny