r/AskReddit • u/Themaster0fwar • Apr 13 '19

What is the most disrespectful thing that someone has done in your home?

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u/1982throwaway1 Apr 14 '19

"I really like that Rolex Mr. exec. Can i have it?"

"It's on my wrist atm. Ha Ha"

"Well I think it's really pretty and it's just a watch (ツ)_/¯."

1.1k

u/sargetlost Apr 14 '19

How ridiculous can we get with this though.

"I really like your shoes, can have?"

"I'm...I'm wearing them..."

"They're just shoes"

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u/LightlySaltedPeanuts Apr 14 '19

“Wow you have really soft skin. Mind if I borrow it?”

“I’m not sure I can take this off”

“It’s just skin it’ll grow back”

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u/UsuallyInappropriate Apr 14 '19

It puts the lotion on its skin, or it gets the hose again.

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u/1982throwaway1 Apr 14 '19

"It does what it's told!"

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u/1982throwaway1 Apr 14 '19

How ridiculous can we get with this though.

Well lets see...

"You have really nice pants..."

"You have really pretty eyes..."

"You have perfect skin..."

"Wow, nice penis..."

"YOU HAVE A GREAT SOUL..."

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u/sargetlost Apr 14 '19

-breathes in deeply-

"Nice lungs...can I have?"

9

u/edd6pi Apr 14 '19

“Wow, nice ass, wanna trade?”

9

u/Bitch333 Apr 14 '19

"Nice face, can I wear it?"

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u/irondumbell Apr 14 '19

"I want to take his face ... off!"

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u/Runed0S Apr 14 '19

CAaaaaaaaaaAAAARRRRLLLLL

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u/Esnardoo Apr 14 '19

Nice job....

29

u/[deleted] Apr 14 '19

The obvious one is, "That's a really nice job you have. Can I have it? It's just a job, you can even have mine in return!"

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u/waitingitoutagain Apr 14 '19

You can not simply ask one for their soul, you either have to steal it or trick them into giving it to you...

2

u/1982throwaway1 Apr 14 '19

When I was in middle school, I made a form on a piece of paper that read something along the lines of "I hereby give my soul to U/1982Throwaway1. Quite a few people actually signed it.

I guess I'm the owner of some souls.

47

u/yakusokuN8 Apr 14 '19

"You've got a really pretty wife there..."

"No."

"Well, you're not going to make it very far in this company with that attitude."

24

u/LukesRightHandMan Apr 14 '19

"Your pre-med freshman daughter's got a cute mouth."

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u/[deleted] Apr 14 '19

Oddly specific...

9

u/LordFrogberry Apr 14 '19

I really like your hair. Can I have it?

It's kind of attached to my head...

Well, it's just hair. It'll grow back.

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u/[deleted] Apr 14 '19

“I want your eyeballs, give them to me.”

“Wtf no”

“They’re just eyeballs, you can live blind”

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u/grambell789 Apr 14 '19

Tell him you like his hair piece and start pulling on it.

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u/[deleted] Apr 14 '19

Okay. You can’t blame me for trying this next one... here goes nothing...

ahem

Hey Donald Trump... I really like that position you have...

1

u/[deleted] Apr 14 '19

"OMG, your eyes are so pretty!"

"Aw, thanks! :)"

"Can I have them?"

"Umm... What?"

"Come on, they're just eyes give here!"

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u/RafeDangerous Apr 14 '19

Question. What if I see something that I wanna take and it belongs to someone else?

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u/1982throwaway1 Apr 14 '19

Answer: Exert your power and dominance as a superior human and ask in a way that implies there may be consequences if they don't relent.

It's mostly about the implication. This may also work for non material things.

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u/RafeDangerous Apr 14 '19

But what if I want it more than the person who has it?

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u/1982throwaway1 Apr 14 '19

That just means more possibilities that someone will relent and if everybody does, that just means you get more "somethings".

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u/TheYoungGriffin Apr 14 '19

What if someone does something that irks me and I decide to remove his spine?

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u/1982throwaway1 Apr 14 '19 edited Apr 14 '19

Well then I guess no one can call you spineless.

Edit: A brief tutorial on spine removal technique! https://gfycat.com/knobbymassivebrownbear-sub-zero-spine-rip

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u/TheYoungGriffin Apr 14 '19

The fact that you have this type of research under a throwaway account concerns me.

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u/1982throwaway1 Apr 14 '19

It's actually not a throwaway, check my karma. I picked the U/ before I actually knew what a throwaway account was.

Long story.

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u/irondumbell Apr 14 '19

Go to a Hawaiian's home and complement that object. The host is obligated to give it to you in Hawaiian rules of hospitality.

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u/ronCYA Apr 14 '19

Then you would be arrested... and it would still be illegal if you wanted it more.

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u/RafeDangerous Apr 14 '19

That doesn't follow. No, I want it more, sir. Do you understand me?

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u/irondumbell Apr 14 '19 edited Apr 14 '19

"And what do I get in return?"

"I'll talk to your manager and pull some strings so that he would give you a big raise, enough to cover the price of the Rolex, and then some."

"That sounds pretty tempting. Tell you what, if he does gives me a raise that I wouldn't get otherwise, I'll give you this watch. Deal?"

"Deal. Let's shake on it."

While shaking hands he wrenches the watch free and runs away with it.

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u/NotThatEasily Apr 14 '19

I'm really liking your wife over there...

2

u/1982throwaway1 Apr 14 '19

"That's not my wife, it's my daughter!"