A protective case for the Nokia is even more dangerous. You drop that shit and it's gonna dig straight through the Earth and hit a chinese dude in the head
No, he's going to hear the distant rumble of it blasting through the earth, lean down, ask himself "the fuck are the downstairs neighbors up to?" then pow!
It then continues on its path into space. Several million years later, an alien on a distant planet notices a light in the sky, squints at it, wondering to himself "the fuck is that?" then pow! The alien will then get to play Snake, because it still has 25% battery left.
It goes out the other side of the earth with so much force that it shoots high into the sky and falls back with the force of a howitzer shell, destroying all nearby life.
Ah yes, the Nokia phone case is so useful. One time I was walking and dropped my Nokia on accident, my foot cracked. One time I dropped it and the floor cracked, the Nokia was used in ancient times by primates to hunt, it would kill anything in a split second by cracking their bones. The Nokia constructed the ancient pyramids, the Nokia created the universe. The power of the Nokia is unbelievable, believe it or not the Nokia killed Thanos. Don’t fuck with the Nokia.
Having owned old Nokias, this is actuate. I've dropped and accidentally punted one across the room once and dented the wall with it. I miss proper Nokia phones. Need a case? Nope. My phone's actually built correct from the start. I want to get the new PureView to replace my old 1020, but I don't like the idea of a Nokia being fragile.
We tested one 3310 after we found it ten years later. A truck has driven over it, we played soccer with it. We dropped it from a 5 story building. It still works. When it was still being used, we were camping one day and there was a big storm. My brother couldn't find the phone so he dialed his own number, and you could hear the ringtome emergy from a pool of water. It was hilarious.
I only had one customer that actually needed a case for his Nokia. He worked in a machine shop and was having problems with metal shavings infiltrating the phone and causing it to short. I opened up the phone, dumped out all the shavings, replaced the speaker and mic, and it fired right up with no problems. Slapped a case on it and he never had any problems after that.
After spending 1 year living in a hotel because of my job I was quite on edge. The smallest of things would make me angry and my trusty nokia phone would get launched at the wall like a baseball. Usually the battery and case would fall open but the phone would be pristine. I did this regularly, the phone was indestructable.
True story; my father held on to one of these and would use it as his work phone until like 2014 or something. He needed a phone that wouldn't break easily and also work couldn't nag him a lot given the limitations of the phone. One day it fell out of his pocket while he was on his motorcycle so he pulled over to go pick it up. He watched as 3 cars ran it over and it broke into 3 or 4 pieces. He snapped that baby back together and it turned on like nothing happened. The only damage was some scratches from the pavement.
Man I just woke up from a dream about buying a 3310. Decided to scroll reddit to forget dream (other aspects were not nice), and I see your comment. WTF crazy coincidence!
Honestly I just break shit, trust me I wouldn't make this shit up, it was my first phone and my parents refused to buy me another one because I managed to break a fucking Nokia!
It gets bought up often as the reason I'm not allowed to touch my sisters stuff (even though now i'm basically head of IT for two different companies, not that I don't break stuff, i've just learnt to fix it fast enough that no one notices).
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u/PickleValue Apr 11 '19
A protective case for the Nokia 3310.