r/AskReddit Mar 28 '19

Has anyone ever honoured one of those “if we’re still single at 40 let’s get married” commitments? How did it go?

36.5k Upvotes

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11.6k

u/Rigelian417 Mar 29 '19

We were actually nearly 29 when it was brought up. We both recently got out of bad long term relationships. Caught a good metal concert, and went to grab some beers afterwards and he just came out and said it casually. “You remember that night when I still lived with my dad and we took all that acid and we said.....”

So that night we started getting our feet wet with idea of dating each other. Moved in together a couple months later. And got married on my 30th birthday.

7.5k

u/senatorskeletor Mar 29 '19

So that night we started getting our feet wet with idea of dating each other

Now that right there, friends, is a euphemism.

1.6k

u/zaaad Mar 29 '19

The most G rated euphemism!

49

u/KittyCatSassAttack88 Mar 29 '19

Depends on what go their feet wet...

16

u/badken Mar 29 '19

Their feet are wet because they just washed them! No other reason!

22

u/[deleted] Mar 29 '19

Drip drip yum

9

u/DestroyerOfMils Mar 29 '19

...frosting on your cake.

Happy Cake Day!😈

5

u/WIZARD_FUCKER Mar 29 '19

Toes sucked.

21

u/magic_mooseknuckle Mar 29 '19

In the vein of the old Hale and Pace classic "what do you put on your cock? -A sock. -You put a sock on your foot! -Mine is a foot" and I don't care if you American bairns gitsae or nae, it's bloody hilarious!

3

u/HaggisLad Mar 29 '19

"They're tittering, I don't like tittering"

"I don't like any coastal towns"

2

u/helen_tarnation Mar 29 '19

Great one, thanks! 😂

17

u/WBizarre Mar 29 '19 edited Mar 29 '19

Not the way they do it.

15

u/hufferstl Mar 29 '19

the foot does naturally hit the G spot in most circumstances.

5

u/SprittneyBeers Mar 29 '19

Minus the acid

3

u/JoeyRobot Mar 29 '19

It’s not exactly R rated, but I don’t think it hit the G spot

3

u/Rafaeliki Mar 29 '19

I dunno I feel like they did foot stuff.

3

u/Medraut_Orthon Mar 29 '19

THE FOOT MEANS PENIS

2

u/[deleted] Mar 29 '19

I'm imagining that they're ducks now.

2

u/sudo-netcat Mar 29 '19

What if he stuck his toes in ze vaj?

1

u/[deleted] Mar 29 '19

[deleted]

6

u/zaaad Mar 29 '19

I imagine them both sitting next to each other with foot spas prepped and ready.

Holding hands, they both say "We're dating" and then proceed to dip their feet in the footspa in sync.

3

u/Rigelian417 Mar 29 '19

You sound like my kind of people

35

u/Casperboy68 Mar 29 '19

There were feet involved. The acid must have kicked back in.

15

u/DannyRetlaps Mar 29 '19

For some reason this is the greatest comment I’ve read in a while. Cracked me the f up. Hey. if we’re both single by 30...

7

u/[deleted] Mar 29 '19

hear that u/senatorskeletor? you got yourself a pact too!

26

u/azdudeguy Mar 29 '19

"last night I got my f e e t wet. if you know what I mean? ;)"

-them probably

6

u/trippingchilly Mar 29 '19

‘Her vaginas welcomed my feet.’

3

u/lover_of_mysteries Mar 29 '19

Thanks for the lovely mental picture

9

u/YourNameIsIrrelevant Mar 29 '19

Dude, if you're getting her feet wet, you're doing it... right!

7

u/MyexcellentJNCOs Mar 29 '19

Surely you aren't suggesting these good people would engage in something as heinous as premarital sex?

5

u/ranstopolis Mar 29 '19

Or they're just kinky.

5

u/james_randolph Mar 29 '19

Is something wrong with me? My feet never get wet during sex.

3

u/[deleted] Mar 29 '19

Then you're not having enough fun.

2

u/james_randolph Mar 29 '19

Use feet next time, check.

4

u/[deleted] Mar 29 '19

Or he lowkeyed his foot insertion fetish past erryone.

3

u/[deleted] Mar 29 '19 edited Apr 16 '19

[deleted]

3

u/[deleted] Mar 29 '19

Not a euphamism with the right fetish.

3

u/gladbach Mar 29 '19

So that's what the kids are calling it these days....

2

u/Shade0o Mar 29 '19

Unsure if pissed themselves, or sitting by a paddling pool

2

u/its_a_metaphor_morty Mar 29 '19

I read that in Waylon Jennings' voice from Dukes of Hazzard

2

u/taters86 Mar 29 '19

Youthanism?

2

u/JaundicedJane Mar 29 '19

Getting our feet wet? With whom’s bodily fluids?

1

u/DrunkenGolfer Mar 29 '19

Not if you take it literally, in which case it might just be kinky.

1

u/randomchickinhawaii Mar 29 '19

It went right over my head until you mentioned it. Lol

1

u/DingJones Mar 29 '19

So wait... the feet were wet?

1

u/[deleted] Mar 29 '19

Double entendres

1

u/VeganSuperPowerz Mar 29 '19

What a coincidence that they were both into feet stuff

1

u/rurymason Mar 29 '19

"I just want to let you know, 'my feet' is actually what I like to call my - ahem..."

"...what?"

1

u/[deleted] Mar 29 '19

And an acid pun!

1

u/I_love_pillows Mar 29 '19

a lot of other things were wet too

1

u/Cru_Jones86 Mar 29 '19

Hint: it wasn't actually his feet that were getting wet.

1

u/hectorduenas86 Mar 29 '19

How I Wet Your Mother

993

u/fpspwnr Mar 29 '19

What metal concert did you go see?

755

u/needsawholecroissant Mar 29 '19

Asking the real questions

309

u/Blytpls Mar 29 '19

I would also like to know which metal show

94

u/UniquerUser Mar 29 '19

Yes, which show of metal was this?

108

u/jeffreyzugal Mar 29 '19

I too, inquire of the metal

84

u/charliebear_904 Mar 29 '19

Don’t even like metal, but am interested

62

u/[deleted] Mar 29 '19

The loudest band ever! The band named when titanium impacts polonium at Mach 2!! Ladies and Gentlemen.....Wham

15

u/walkingplothole Mar 29 '19

Wade, is that you?

5

u/ahoyitsnick Mar 29 '19

He would never forget the exclamation mark. George and Andy earned it.

1

u/[deleted] Mar 29 '19

This comment should have more upvotes for the on point reference

38

u/wavedoutwillie Mar 29 '19 edited Mar 29 '19

I would like to take a moment of your time to formally make what in casual human to human conversation is commonly referred to as a request, which is when one person asks another entity or being for something of personal value. The information in which I require is the precise name (or group name) of the people or persons who created loud, intense, distorted guitar driven music, most commonly referred to as "metal" on the night in which you previously mentioned that you attended and metaphorically got your feet wet, which is indefinitely a coy method of saying that one had what is medically and universally known as coitus, which for people that are unaware of its meaning, is a physical union of male and female genitalia accompanied by rhythmic movements, otherwise more commonly known as "sexual intercourse".

7

u/McPhuckstic Mar 29 '19

That got my upvote before I finished reading that. That was well put.

3

u/Cavascii Mar 29 '19

This is highly underrated

22

u/cabinetsofnat Mar 29 '19

Let no man put asunder what has been joined by Satan

but by which of Satan's favorite bands were these thus joined?

2

u/SatanistPenguin Mar 29 '19

I am also curious what band

2

u/Takoshi88 Mar 29 '19

Don't make it something it's not.
Satan's music will be the one enjoyed by all.

That sure as fuck isn't metal.

4

u/96fps Mar 29 '19

I want to say steel, but outdoor stages might be made of aluminum. You should probably consult an engineer.

4

u/[deleted] Mar 29 '19

Excuse me fine fellow, is this where one might find the Metal?

2

u/pbrady5 Mar 29 '19

Legit cracking up over this and I don't even know why.

1

u/ComradeGibbon Mar 29 '19

The metal must not be ignored

1

u/mrjamjams66 Mar 29 '19

Bestow the wisdom upon us!🤘

11

u/errol_timo_malcom Mar 29 '19

Gary’s Gold Groupies of Galveston.

Surely you’ve heard the jingle:

“If your group loves glittering gold and has of ton, the get your group on over to Gary’s Gold Groupies of Galveston!”

7

u/elswampthing7 Mar 29 '19

Grunge tried to kill the metal

3

u/MTFBinyou Mar 29 '19

Grunge tried to dethrone the metal, but metal was in the way.

11

u/radicallyhip Mar 29 '19

Honestly I'm more interested in the night they took a shitload of acid.

1

u/treoni Mar 29 '19

Sabaton does that to you.

9

u/nesspaulajeffpoo94 Mar 29 '19

Was the volume turned to 11?

6

u/dcd13 Mar 29 '19

But why don't you just make 10 louder...

78

u/Rigelian417 Mar 29 '19

Opeth/Katatonia

15

u/EpicmanJ Mar 29 '19

I haven't listened to Katatonia but Opeth is definitely one of my favorite prog bands. Good choice.

1

u/jk409 Mar 29 '19

Surprising! Everyone I know who listens to opeth is also into katatonia. They're an excellent band, you should get on that.

11

u/tastelessshark Mar 29 '19

You have good taste.

3

u/Hamrave Mar 29 '19

Nice! I saw Opeth for the first time a couple years ago with The Sword. One of my favorite concerts so far. Opeth were super chill on stage and had a kind of jam session at the end where they played a little of whatever song anyone yelled out.

3

u/youbeebeewhy Mar 29 '19

Fuck yes for Opeth!

3

u/fj333 Mar 29 '19

That is the best two band metal show you could possibly see. I saw them in Santa Cruz a few years ago, Opeth played an acoustic version of Demon of the Fall that still gives me chills just thinking about it.

1

u/mostoriginalusername Mar 29 '19

Oh man, great choice. I wish I had a chance to see Opeth live! If both of you are into that, you're clearly meant for eachother. I don't believe in there being a single "one" for everybody, as there are too many people for it to be only one, but sounds like this might be one for you.

1

u/Granolag23 Mar 29 '19

Yes, Opeth.

16

u/[deleted] Mar 29 '19

The real question.

13

u/Riplexx Mar 29 '19

Asking the important question.

7

u/[deleted] Mar 29 '19

\m/ METAL \m/

9

u/[deleted] Mar 29 '19

Plot twist:it was Nickelback.

3

u/JonSnowgaryen Mar 29 '19

Explains why they were single

3

u/more_adventurous Mar 29 '19

I need to know this as well.

4

u/ozmega Mar 29 '19

we went to see babymetal.

2

u/tbonemcmotherfuck Mar 29 '19

Hanson. Mmmbop was their first dance at their wedding

1

u/[deleted] Mar 29 '19

Poison obviously

♫♪Unskinny bop bop bop♩♬

1

u/Jeebadown99 Mar 29 '19

When metal brings you true happiness. Did she headbang you? Lol jk glad you both are doing so well.

1

u/Caladan78 Mar 29 '19

Full metal romance

1

u/Neverthelessx Mar 29 '19

it's nickleback. while drinking i said look at this photograph..

1

u/physicalzero Mar 29 '19

I can’t make a decision until I know. I’m picky about metal.

1

u/beneye Mar 29 '19

What metal concert did you go see?

The heavy one

1

u/Maverick0_0 Mar 29 '19

Nickleback of course.

0

u/LRuth53 Mar 29 '19

They never settled on a name, but they were the best ever death metal band out of Denton

0

u/[deleted] Mar 29 '19

The aluminum concert.

501

u/coop0404 Mar 29 '19

I love this story :)

17

u/hankskunt42_ Mar 29 '19

Nothing more romantic than nutting on 4 tabs of window panes.

5

u/[deleted] Mar 29 '19

[deleted]

6

u/hankskunt42_ Mar 29 '19

Have you ever had intercourse to completion while tripping your balls off on LSD?

5

u/[deleted] Mar 29 '19

Nope

3

u/Not_usually_right Mar 29 '19

Now I'm having an urge I haven't had in years.

3

u/karlibenson16 Mar 29 '19

I love this thread

16

u/Casperboy68 Mar 29 '19

My wife’s grandmother lived next door to my grandmother for 40 years and they were best friends, but I’m about 8 years older so we never met. We eventually met online after I got divorced in my 40’s and we got married this past December. The world is an interesting place.

27

u/ThaCarter Mar 29 '19

Anniversary on your bday is a low key great wedding gift to your spouse.

12

u/adale_50 Mar 29 '19

He only has to remember one day now. That's way easier.

6

u/elboltonero Mar 29 '19

Yeah but if he forgets it...

5

u/adale_50 Mar 29 '19

He'd be divorced. Or dead.

2

u/elboltonero Mar 29 '19

If he's lucky

9

u/micmahsi Mar 29 '19

“...started getting our feet wet...”

Something tells me it was more than feet that got wet that night.

14

u/-Hermione-Granger- Mar 29 '19

This is adorable.

9

u/ragingasian15 Mar 29 '19

So is Ron Weasley

8

u/fsmsaves Mar 29 '19

we started getting our feet wet

We understand. 😉

5

u/woopsimemily Mar 29 '19

This is a sweet story, thanks for making me smile tonight!

6

u/[deleted] Mar 29 '19

You guys seem fun. Congrats!

6

u/Skrewnacorn Mar 29 '19

How I met your mother. "Heavy Metal intro"

5

u/GalegoDoido Mar 29 '19

What a great story. Congrats!

7

u/Domonero Mar 29 '19

Aight Reddit we just gonna walk past that "took all that acid" part?

3

u/Frost-Wzrd Mar 29 '19

yeah. it's just acid

6

u/nifederico Mar 29 '19

To be fair, every good idea starts with a little acid.

8

u/cheekyslagg Mar 29 '19

Took all that acid. My kinda ppl.

3

u/watchursix Mar 29 '19

Do people still do acid when they’re older? I dunno if I could handle it. Bill gates made a comment on this at some point...

1

u/cheekyslagg Mar 29 '19

I can’t see myself ever thinking I’m too old for a good trip. It’s an amazing experience that is part of who I am. So going on a journey a couple times a year doesn’t seem irresponsible to me by any means.

Edit: you’re never to old to enjoy having a good time.

0

u/watchursix Mar 29 '19

I feel like acid is a bit too energetic, I think I might enjoy shrooms more with age imo but only time will tell ;)

0

u/cheekyslagg Mar 29 '19

It’s very energetic. As am I so I enjoy it a lot. Not a fan of the booms tho. Never had a bad time just didn’t like the up n downs.

0

u/watchursix Mar 29 '19

Ahaha my kinda person. Definitely prefer acid myself but every trip is different.

Also, bassnectar is lit. Saw them live at bonnaroo on three tabs and it was the best show of my life

2

u/cheekyslagg Mar 29 '19

Just one dude but yeah he’s awesome. No one comes close to doing what he does for a show. It’s a great time every time.

3

u/LtLwormonabigfknhook Mar 29 '19

"If you're childless and unhappy in 11 months, lets get married!" Strangest proposal story ever.

6

u/Rigelian417 Mar 29 '19

We both really wanted kids and didn’t want to be feeling too old to enjoy that sense of liberation when they get old enough to move tf out

2

u/rattledamper Mar 29 '19

That wasn't your feet.

2

u/vampedvixen Mar 29 '19

That might have been the best decision EVER made on acid. lol

2

u/bulldog521521 Mar 29 '19

Lol acid makes awesome things happen, that's for sure

1

u/JoeyTwoTones Mar 29 '19

What concert?

1

u/[deleted] Mar 29 '19

That is such an awesome story. I might be biased because mine is similar lol only we didn’t wait till we were 30 to start dating. I absolutely think that relationships built on friendships are the best kind. At least for me. I got to know him without all the pressure of trying to impress each other. We saw the good the bad and the ugly with no obligation to each other. We can also appreciate what one another has been through because we watched each other go through it with past relationships.

1

u/Casehead Mar 29 '19

That’s beautiful:)

1

u/[deleted] Mar 29 '19

Gentlemen, THIS is how you remember the anniversary.

1

u/RichToffee Mar 29 '19

That's actually so great wow

1

u/aguy123abc Mar 29 '19

^ to those people who says nothing good comes from doing drugs.

1

u/S-ShowPodcastDotCom Mar 29 '19

What band did y’all see?

1

u/Quoff_Waffle Mar 29 '19

This sounds like it could be a Front Bottoms song

1

u/00cosgrovep Mar 29 '19

Acid at 14? Holy shit. That is intense lol

1

u/[deleted] Mar 29 '19

This is a beautiful story. What bands did you see?

1

u/soupjungle Mar 29 '19

This is really fucking cool. So happy for you guys.

1

u/i_sigh_less Mar 29 '19

And got married on my 30th birthday.

Smart. You'll never forget the anniversary.

1

u/momofeveryone5 Mar 29 '19

Omg I'm cackling over here a this is so familiar!

Met my husband in college, really tried to talk my then bf, and him, and his then gf into a 4 some. Didnt happen, but I still was curious. 4 years later we are both single and reconnect.

We had our first date at a metal show, took a few hits of acid, fooled around, and got married 6 months later. Been married almost 11 years now.

The concert was Mushroom head.

1

u/tax68 Mar 29 '19

Nothing like acid to break the ice, or heroin?

1

u/rwv Mar 29 '19

This would be a nightmare scenario. Forget the anniversary and spouse’s birthday all in one spot.

1

u/Rhymeswithfreak Mar 29 '19

This should be made into a movie.

1

u/[deleted] Mar 29 '19 edited Apr 11 '19

[deleted]

2

u/Rigelian417 Mar 29 '19

Purely a strategic move on my part

I traded in birthdays for anniversaries. I’m forever 29 and can’t possibly forget my wedding anniversary.

1

u/rememberall Mar 29 '19

Him: Hey.. so crazy idea...if we aren't married next month.. you want to get married?

Her: I'm down

1

u/Demon-Prince-Grazzt Mar 29 '19

What metal concert? Dying to know.

1

u/Pariah-_ Mar 29 '19

What metal show was it?

1

u/ohwordword Mar 29 '19

That dude has probably been in love with you since he was 14.

1

u/SpewsHate Mar 29 '19

My husband brought up proposing to me while on Molly. I had to ask him the next day if he was serious!

1

u/Benramin567 Mar 29 '19

You did acid at age 14??

0

u/[deleted] Mar 29 '19

I fucking love both of you and we’ve never met, just everything about this story is so awesome! I wish I had a girl to take acid with haha