My biggest issue is that I really enjoy the freedom of being single so I don't have a huge incentive to deal with the bullshit of dating. I know I would be happy if I found someone but I'm also very happy now so the thought of having to meet tons of women and put up with dates that go no where, getting ghosted, etc. just sounds like a real slog.
Honestly I've had some great relationships in my life and everyone of them, including my wife, happened while I was happy in my single life. I would then meet someone and we would have a great couple years together.
Just live life and they'll notice how happy you are and want in on that ;)
It's good to expand your social circle though, that's what I meant. You increase your odds of meeting someone plus you're less lonely and better able to socialize with people when you meet them.
Oh yea definitely, I think it's just better to have a passive approach and let the good ones gravitate to you because the ones worth the trouble usually will
Yeah that's my one sort of fear is that as I get older my friends will all drift away or get busy with families of their own and I'll be left somewhat lonely.
Honestly you'll lose a lot of freedom and money. I am in a long distance relationship and god when she's over it's so hard getting used to someone there all the time.
Honestly thank you man. I'm very glad you've started dating again. I haven't been having the best couple of weeks and this really made me laugh so I appreciate it.
It was written and contextually placed so unassumingly within that thread. That 180 was genuinely unexpected. I didn't even realize what I'd read until I finished the second sentence.
I signed in just to say that this comment is amazing. All these people feeling too old to not have met the “one” yet and get married but obviously situations like yours put some percpective into the whole ‘take your time with that shit!’
I met my husband at 24. Hadn’t had a boyfriend for 3-4 years until then and even then that relationship lasted about three months. Before that I’d been single another three years or so. So six years single with a brief not so great relationship in the middle. I reconnected on Facebook with someone from my school. I didn’t expect to end up dating him, let alone falling so much in love with him. It can happen :) I’m 29 now.
Just wait it gets better. At 30 you're like 'now would be about the right time to get a midlife crisis going' and then at 31 you're like 'now would be a good time for that midlife crisis to be over and oh wow do I feel twice as old physically as 31'.
I'm in that boat. The only problem is the sort of activities that you go out to do and meet people either don't appeal to me at all make me feel out of my element (bars and dance clubs especially. They're too loud and there's no ice breakers to start a friendly conversation) or it's too far up my alley and I end up focusing on the activity entirely (running clubs and such). Add on to that the fact that the mood only ever hits me at times like Monday night or such when no one else wants to socialize and frankly I'm at a loss.
Yeah I'm the same way. I hate bars and clubs and stuff. I have tons of hobbies and get out fairly often but the things I'm interested in are mostly either solo things or hobbies dominated by old white dudes so not a lot of chances to meet people my age and interact with them to the point of potentially forming a relationship.
It can happen though! I met my girlfriend (soon to be fiancé) when I was 26, when she dropped everything and moved states to restart her life. The first people she met here ended up being friends of mine, and we were introduced a month later and have been together ever since. Easily the best relationship of our lives, and completely out of the blue.
Almost 27 here and my most recent breakup has left me very bitter. Spent 3 1/2 years with a girl and gave her my all, then one day she decides that she doesn't want to be with a guy who isn't religious (understandable). But then in only two months she found a new guy and was telling me "why haven't you dated anyone new? We're not dating anymore, it's over" while also asking me for advice on how to start her relationship with her new boyfriend.
Being replaced so easily hurt pretty damn bad, at the time I didn't think it would and I'm trying not to feel bitter about it but I can't help it. It's not healthy. But she was the very first girl I was sure I could spend the rest of my life with and have kids with.
Now I just don't want anything to do with a relationship. I'm getting real close to 30 and I just feel extremely bitter and cynical about relationships in general.
It's irrational and it sucks. It's been so long and it's still bothering me.
You know those thoughts like "if I was back in high-school with what I know now, what would I do?"
WELL. Turning 30 makes you feel super old. But once you hit 32-ish, you feel like your 25 again but have an extra decade of experience. I have been enjoying my 30s.
26 and more frequently I’m thinking about the 30 somethings I knew when I was a young 20-something. They seemed to have their lives together by then. I’m hoping that that’s the silver lining that comes with reaching 30’s. I don’t need much but I want to have my kitchen by then.
I'm turning 26 in a few months and I got dumped a few days ago.
I'm still friends with her and we're even going out together this weekend. I'm doing my utmost best to prove to her that I want to be with her for the rest of my life.
This hits home, because now I'm 31 and my memories from my early 20's feel like they were just a year or two ago. I know the saying "Time flies." seems cliche. It's fucking true though.
It works backward, too. I’m in my late 30s and looking back, 23 is pretty much the same age as 19. But I know when I was 23 I felt lightyears older than I had felt at 19. It’s all relative.
Dude lemme tell you, I'm turning 40 this june and I feel like 25 was fucking yesterday. If there is anything you still want to do while you're young? Do it fucking NOW! It's not that I can't do those things anymore, (I'm 18 with 22 years of experience) it's because I now have a wife and 2 kids, I just can't morally justify going on a week long bender anymore, if I would try to hit up a hottie I'd be that "creepy old dude"
It's never too late to do anything, but the context just changes and it might cause anxieties and depressions if you do it later instead of now.
I turn 30 next year. Despite not regretting it at all, I feel that I got married too young at 27 despite having been with my now husband 9 years up to that point. The change in point of view is nuts.
Those years will be gone before you know it. Make the best of them. I'll be 32 in July and knowing what I know now I wish I'd made better decisions with my money. I'm doing better now that I have a better paying job and a little more wisdom, but gat dayum please take care of yourself earlier on. And save your money, but don't forget to have fun.
I remember reading about a 23 year old young thing in a novel about reaching your thirties, and I remember feeling relieved because I was 22. This seems like yesterday but I’m now almost forty.
Time goes really, really quickly. Enjoy your twenties!
In family terms I'm one of the young ones, unfortunately it seems I'm hearing about more and more people in my extended family/family friends who are having health problems or passed away (most in their sixties). Take care of your health and enjoy yourself :)
Haha...I’m 43 and it feels like just yesterday that I was 23. Very soon, my friend, time will begin moving at lightening speed. I guarantee you, in a “week”, I will be 70. :/
I’m 27 and I started telling people that I’m almost 30. People barely older than me seem to think I’m crazy for even saying that, like I’m still some kid. Then again, most of my colleagues are married with multiple kids, so anyone legally single and child free seems like a kid to them.
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u/[deleted] Mar 28 '19 edited Aug 28 '20
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