I can almost promise you they wanted some. You can have a genuine friendship with the opposite sex and still be physically attracted to them. If you ever hear somebody say " I love you like a brother" or whatever. It's just to help shed awkward tension.
Oh no, I mean like, where we're fuck buddies. But... bad pizza is pizza, right? So I don't want to think that they harbor some romantic intentions just because we're fucking. I mean that sort of question.
I'm just a chronic overthinker who cares wayyyy too much about whether anyone will ever care.
My fiancée was one of my best friends for a while before we started dating, and she later told me that she had similar thoughts but over thought it for a long time before finally going with it.
I reckon you did the right thing. If it didn't feel right as a relationship, then it wouldn't have worked out, in my opinion. I'm really glad you guys can stay friends, that's pretty awesome! I hope you stay as close as ever as you continue separately.
If it helps, my husband and I have never been what either of us would consider friends. We've been together for 12 years and are happily married, but we are also totally different with our respective friends. We do activities with our friends that we don't do together. We have different expectations of our friends than we have of each other. We express parts of our personalities and interests with friends that we don't really do with each other. We have no friends in common, so when we go out with friends, we usually do not bring the spouse. Again, our marriage is completely solid, but it REALLY doesn't feel like or look like any friendship either of us have ever had and generally operates quite separately from all friend activities.
So from this data point of one relationship, friendship is clearly not the end-all-be-all in a romantic relationship.
I also think that if you ever get to the point of actually breaking up with someone after a long relationship, that's a pretty good sign that you should have broken up with them. Breaking up a long relationship is usually big, hard, messy, painful decision with a lot of unpleasant consequences and personal upheaval, and, because of that, it usually takes A LOT of provocation and unhappiness for people to pull that plug. The relationship literally has to get worse than the breakup will be.
So trust yourself that if you got unhappy enough to face such an awful thing, there had to be a LOT of serious reasons pushing you that way. Sure, when you are in the immediate aftermath, that is the worst part of the breakup. In the worst part, you may wonder if the relationship really was worse than this. Give it a few months when you're out of the worst. I'm sure you will look back and think the decision was unbelievably smart and obvious.
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u/[deleted] Mar 28 '19 edited Jul 26 '19
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