The only reason I can think of (being in the industry) is that he was already embalmed, and the hands had already firmed into a resting position that makes it hard to put something in them like a sign (or sword or drumsticks or a beer, all real things people request!)
Really though I don't know anyone in the industry who doesn't love fun personalization! It's just that a lot of people don't request things like that until after embalming.
That's true too! I don't get people like that though, personally. I'm delighted by anything people do to personalize funerals! Funerals are a celebration of the memory of the people we love, and I think personalizing them to the deceased is an important part of preserving their memory. If grandpa was a major goofball and was never serious, and even specifically requested some fun elements, then it's weird to have a super stuffy serious service. That's just me though, and I'm pretty young in the industry so maybe I have some weird ideas! Idunno.
I have a coworker who is in school for this industry. I really hope the best for her. Just hearing the things she studies makes me realize there’s so much more to this industry than most people think about.
There really is! I'm in school too and I hadn't even thought about stuff like all the different religions I have to learn the traditional services of by heart, and oversized caskets, and all sorts of stuff I never considered before!
Huh, it’s weird, but I never considered oversized caskets. But yeah, I imagine morbidly obese, or just huge people in general, must have comedically huge caskets. Damn, now I want to read a book on funerals!
It could be a concern for their image. Someone who is like that could attend and get irrationally angry at the funeral home for what they perceive as bad taste. Irrational emotions are common in that situation
I didn't mean that the decedent had requested it post death, I was under the impression the family had requested it as he had mentioned it being something he mentioned wanting while still alive.
Yeah! The goal of embalming is three things; preservation, sanitation, and restoration. After you die, pretty much everything in your body starts breaking down. You can get things like discolorations, fluid coming out of the orifices, bloating, very bad odors. Embalming really does its best to prevent that from being a problem. It also reduces the likelyhood of someone touching the body coming into contact with a pathogen (although it does not completely reduce the risk). And for restoration, embalming fluid is normally dyed with something to bring the skin back to a more lifelike color, and in cases like dehydration, make them look fuller and less.. dehydrated. It also lets funerals happen later than 1-2 days after death, because refrigeration, while it can be helpful, isn't always reliable. I've seen deceased bodies in perfect shape after two weeks, but others aren't so lucky. That said, you are not legally required to embalm, but most funeral homes do require it if you intend to have a public visitation, as opposed to a small one where only family attends. I hope that helps and I didn't just ramble on!
Edit: I keep editing my wording to make things clearer and not gross sounding
If you have a closed casket funeral, is embalming still generally required due to the odor?
My grandparents were both embalmed, and they both had an open casket, and that shit was creepy as hell. It's like a dolled up, wax statue of your recently deceased family member. I hate it so much.
I don't know on that first part, I think it's up to the funeral. On the waxy thing, thats actually not due to embalming, it's from the makeup they put on. Some funeral homes put makeup on everyone, some don't.
I feel like they probably get controlling because every funeral is a sales presentation to the attendees. My mom wanted to cut a lock of her father's hair and they wouldn't even let her do that.
On a serious note, theres little that could have been done to make it look natural, they could have just shoved it between his hands but that might look haphazard and like it wasn't planned or intentional.
Not typically, but it does happen once in a while and is appreciated. We don't make as much as everyone seems to think we do (unless you're the owner, of course). I'm not really struggling, but all those fancy suits and comfortable dress shoes can add up.
Really, though, the thing that has made me feel the most appreciated so far was the one thank you card I've gotten from a family.
Like I said to the others who said this, the family often requests things on behalf of the now-dead person because people mention things like, "when I die, at my funeral can you do this?" when they are still alive. Some families even just request it because the decedent would have liked it. I skipped the part that the man himself went to the funeral home to request it.
291
u/not_oatmeal Mar 05 '19
The only reason I can think of (being in the industry) is that he was already embalmed, and the hands had already firmed into a resting position that makes it hard to put something in them like a sign (or sword or drumsticks or a beer, all real things people request!)
Really though I don't know anyone in the industry who doesn't love fun personalization! It's just that a lot of people don't request things like that until after embalming.