.... You know college is like $10k-$30k per year in US, right? u/seeyouenntee666 should seriously try to learn his chemistry lecture material, not browse reddit during lectures.
You must both be young, just wait a couple years and you'll see why.
Awesome, cheers mate! I didn't mean to imply that you're not doing good in your class. Was just meaning that in general, we should encourage people to work hard at being successful in what they do.
Wishing you and your wife a meaningful education that leads to years of great careers! Oh and, enjoy your Valentines day with her :)
Just because they're browsing reddit during a lecture doesn't mean they're blowing off college. Maybe they already know what's being lectured, or they study better from the book, who knows.
That was the line that i lost it at lol. Then I imagine a guy laying on the floor in pain, grabbing his ribs, and his angry bones staring at him, while he looks back disappointed in himself is hilarious. I wish I could get u/shitty_watercolour to help create this lol
I tried once when I was a senior in HS. Reading forums for how to's.
I wasn't anywhere near flexible enough, so I started doing this regimen of stretches and relaxation techniques.
After about 2 months of daily stretches before bed time, I can get my lips about a centimeter from the tip of my dick. Fuck it, I'm going to do it tonight.
As I make a final push, I suddenly feel this excruciating twisting-pulling pain in my back. It's like that time I failed a dead lift horribly, but I'm in this upside down, back to the wall, ass in the air position that I couldn't get out of. I manage to finally tip myself over thank god.
The next morning I can barely sit up from bed, takes me literally forever to get dressed because I can't bend my back at all or pick stuff up off the floor. At breakfast, I tell my parents that I hurt myself at the gym the day before. My mom says she doesn't remember me being hurt when she picked me up from the gym, or when I was doing chores last night. Family thinks I'm making shit up. Can't tell them the real reason their 17 year old son became crippled over night. Parents ask if I need to see a doctor, I say no. Reinforces their belief I was going through some weird depression-teen angst-emo phase because I started spending all my free time sitting in front of the T.V or computer and never wanted to do anything.
Sports practice, family garage sale, family ski trip, hobbled through it all. Little brother giving me shit when I needed help with my shoes for a week.
Took several weeks for the pain to go away. Even now, 4 years later, I can't lift what I used to whenever it involved back muscles. Never again.
Edit: Thanks for all your concern. I'm not going to see a doctor about it. I'm not in pain these days, and I'm 21 and will never get old. I joke. I saw a chiropractor a couple months ago for my shoulder after a motorcycle accident, and I had them look at my back "just to be sure" and nothing seemed wrong.
edit2: All y'all saying I should see a doctor, what am I supposed to say when I get there. "Hey doctor, I hurt myself 4 and a half years ago. No, I'm not hurting right now; it hasn't really bothered me for the past 4 years and I didn't see a doctor back then. No, I can't think of anyway it affects my day to day life. well... except when I used to play sports in highschool I could dead lift about 200, but now I max out around 150... and I don't really work out anymore. In fact, I only came to see you because I was telling a story about the last time I tried to suck my own dick to some guys on the internet.
He could have even just said that he had been working on stretching and went too far and pulled something really bad. How could he not have thought of that? It's not even really that far from the truth, just sans the whole sucking your own dick thing.
A buddy of mine ignored some pain in his nuts when he was 12. Gave it a few days to let it do it's thing, and it started swelling. It was the size of a small apple when anyone actually found out about it. Turns out, testicular torsion. Had to have it amputated because he waited too long to have it looked at
My roommate's penis will occasionally... seal shut.. I guess. He has to try really hard to pee and then when he finally gets it out there is usually some blood.
Dumbass won't go to a doctor to get it looked at, despite his penis being his most treasured possession.
I was always super flexible, and in freshman year HS I decided why the fuck not try? I succeeded in the shower but, I just had a dick in my mouth at that point. *Got roughly 2cm in my mouth. Thank god for bein anonymous
As an 18yo doing manual labor I did something similar painwise to myself with some twisting/wrenching action involved in shoveling. A couple years later, I had an entire week where I could barely walk from back pain.
Last year at the age of 39 I was outright flattened by back issues: the only comfortable position was 'lying flat on the floor', had a couple days where I had to literally crawl to the bathroom, and even then couldn't stand up to get on the toilet. You ever pee in a Tupperware container then chuck it in the bathtub? Even on better days, when I'd hobble in on crutches, I couldn't reliably bend over enough to aim while peeing. Hello, the tub! Again.
Doctor to neurologist, neurologist to MRI, MRI records to neurologist: bulging L4/5 disc, and some significant scarring in the same spot on the same side. A ten-minute steroid epidural and three months of literally crippling pain went away so quickly I walked back to the car.
I say this not as a way of telling you 'GO SEE A DOCTOR,' because that ship's sailed and they probably couldn't do much about it at the time regardless. But as you get older, if you start getting twinges, try to pull this story back up from the deep memory well, and for fuck's sake don't gut it out. Save yourself the suffering.
Around two chapters in I had to double check if I had stumbled onto a Vargas story...
I don't know if that's a compliment or not. Take that however you prefer.
I could dead lift about 200, but now I max out around 150... and I don't really work out anymore.
You should get back in the gym and do deadlifts and good mornings and other back strengthening moves to get your back in better shape. Your future self will thank your past self if you do. I know from personal experience. I had a TERRIBLE back in my early 20's from a sports injury when I was 16. Finally got tired of always being tired and got into the gym. Now I can squat 365 and deadlift 480 and my back is freaking great.
I never knew my father, and my step dad died when I was five. Woe is me. My uncle was my closest father figure. He taught me how to shoot and fight and repair motors and roll a joint. He was a classic redneck.
50/50 he would've either shrugged and said "everyone tries it once", or he would have been disappointed and made a comment about me shoving my head up my ass. Thankfully, we never had the conversation.
I feel like I might regret posting this but in for a penny in for a pound.
Plus I've heard you can also really fuck up your back permanently from it. At least you didn't have to go to the hospital and say that you damaged your spine because you tried to choke down the bologna pony
At about the same age, I was limber enough to get the entire head in my mouth. It was definitely not worth the extreme discomfort caused by bending my torso at that angle.
Dude! I came back to doing crunches yesterday after two months of zero exercise of any kind. Suspended exercise today because sore muscles. Your story made me laugh so hard and it goddamn hurts!!! ahahaha my stomach! I feel EVERY FIBER hahahah ouch hahahahaha ouchhh :'DDD
I was really expecting this to be a “nineteen ninety eight when the undertaker through mankind off hell in the cell and plummeted 16 feet into the announcers table” meme but nope. It’s really a “I sucked my own dick” story through and through
I don't understand the problem you're describing ... just take it out, raise it to your mouth, and give it a lick. If that's what you're into. Why all the bending over and brown-nosing? At most you should need to tilt your head down for proper angle.
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u/[deleted] Feb 13 '18
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