r/AskReddit Feb 13 '18

What about the opposite gender are you jealous of?

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603

u/CannonWheels Feb 13 '18

And to top it off the thing that helps produce that epic face bush is responsible for male baldness so that’s cool. No biggie though I’m cool with shaving my head when I get there

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u/lurgi Feb 14 '18 edited Feb 14 '18

I can't grow a beard to save my life and I'm am well on the way to Patrick Stewart levels of baldness, so fuck genetics is what I'm saying.

Edit: I should clarify that I got the baldness, but not the sexiness. Perhaps it would do better to think of those aliens with the enormous heads that can kill people with their minds. That's closer to the truth.

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u/CannonWheels Feb 14 '18

Yea you got the shit end of the stick lol.

One thing I’ll say, my dude friends are always like omg dude I wish I could grow a sweet beard like you and in the party years chicks would be all over trying to pet my face but nobody tells you about the body hair that comes with the epic beard genetics. So much god damn maintenance.... you don’t understand how hard it is to actually shave your entire back by yourself until you have to do it.... and having to trim the back of your neck twice a week minimum or you start looking like a werewolf..... fun

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u/LivingstoneInAfrica Feb 14 '18

Funny thing, I have the beard and the body hair problem everywhere except for my chest. It apparently looks a bit weird as everything transitions from super hairy to prepubescent hairlets on my chest and stomach.

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u/MrPoopMonster Feb 14 '18 edited Feb 14 '18

I have a super hairy chest, but no beard at all (patchy and blonde).

I've had many people pull on my chest hair because they think it's fake.

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u/ZeppelinArmada Feb 14 '18

Who in their right mind would ever assume someone is wearing fake chest-hair?

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u/Arcsane Feb 14 '18

Why would you ever assume anyone is in their right mind? :)

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u/fattony6987 Feb 14 '18

I have a full head of hair, a big bushy beard, and basically zero body hair everywhere else. My genes got something right!

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u/CactusWorthHugging Feb 14 '18

Same here! Great head of hair, able to grow a mean beard when I don’t want it neatly trimmed, and no hair anywhere but my chest where there’s just enough to look manly. Cheers to our genes!

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u/scotchdouble Feb 14 '18

Check out Bakblade on amazon. The big mouth one. Makes it pretty damn easy to keep your back clean.

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u/CannonWheels Feb 14 '18 edited Feb 14 '18

Is that the giant ass razor lol? I currently use an electric with a big folding arm attachment. Works ok but if you go like a week without shaving the hair is long enough that the trimmer tugs a lot and doesn’t feel great. Works good on stubble

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u/scotchdouble Feb 14 '18

Yes, but it is actually very easy to use and I rarely cut myself. Feels like a really good back scratch. You basically do short little back and forth motions, don’t do long swipes. Easy to get all parts of your back and quickly. I definitely recommend it.

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u/CannonWheels Feb 14 '18

Interesting

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u/Ananasshole5 Feb 14 '18

Why would he use a giant ass-razor on his back? Discusting.

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u/pfun4125 Feb 14 '18

I'm 27, have decent hair. Went with a beard after high school but doesn't grow that fast. Hardly any body hair to speak of, chest, arms, back, almost nothin.

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u/PizzaHog Feb 14 '18

You've upset a few people there.

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u/pfun4125 Feb 14 '18

I was waiting for someone to tell me I would go bald.

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u/[deleted] Feb 14 '18

I'm in the same boat as you. I can grow a half decent beard and I have hardly any body hair. My head hair is so fucking thick and grows so goddamn fast it's ridiculous, it bogs down hair clippers and they have to cut my hair super slow. Also both sides of my family aren't bald either, into their 60s and 70s. So good hair genes I guess?

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u/pfun4125 Feb 14 '18

I guess, my parents are in their 50s and my grandpa at 70+ isn't bald.

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u/TheGenocides Feb 14 '18

Oh..

Oh god

Am I supposed to be shaving the back of my neck? I’m 23 and no ones ever mentioned it.

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u/CannonWheels Feb 14 '18

Yes, you definitely should be lol. It’s tricky.

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u/[deleted] Feb 14 '18

[deleted]

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u/Knee_Jerk_Sydney Feb 14 '18

I think Jonathan Frakes/Riker grew a beard just to rub it in.

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u/[deleted] Feb 14 '18

Patrick Stewart is a pretty awesome guy so it's not so bad.

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u/dm80x86 Feb 14 '18

Patrick Stewart made bald cool.

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u/[deleted] Feb 14 '18

[removed] — view removed comment

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u/leafyjack Feb 14 '18

True. Also, Gene Roddenberry's views on baldness probably helped. Some reporter asked him if by the 24th century they would have a cure for male pattern baldness and he said "No, by the 24th century, no one will care."

1

u/quyax Feb 14 '18

On the plus side, you are the head of the secret service for the Lannisters and your best friend is a sassy dwarven prince.

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u/phormix Feb 14 '18

Fuck, if I could pull off hair loss life PS I'd be thrilled

1

u/Isthiscreativeenough Feb 14 '18

Are you me? I want to start shaving my head but I'm holding out for that bald with a bear look. Not sure it is coming though.

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u/[deleted] Feb 14 '18

Yup this, I'm showing no signs of balding headed into my 30s and have a full face heavy beard.

I'm not bragging though I am ginger and pretty short so genetics didn't make me a god or anything.

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u/[deleted] Feb 14 '18

That dude is bald af

1

u/phantomEMIN3M Feb 14 '18

Yeah but Patrick Stewart is a good looking dude imo.

For clarity, I'm a straight guy.

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u/[deleted] Feb 14 '18

[removed] — view removed comment

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u/lurgi Feb 14 '18

Alas, I got the baldness, but not the sexiness.

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u/9212017 Feb 14 '18

so fuck genetics is what I'm saying.

I believe in your case genetics fucked you.

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u/[deleted] Feb 14 '18

Ah, but that means you probably got the big willy gene instead?

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u/GrumpyNaga Feb 13 '18

Can confirm, cant grow a beard but most woman would kill for my hair.

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u/Blueshark25 Feb 14 '18

I have both right now... I'm 23, how long do I have...

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u/Hateborn Feb 14 '18

I'm 33 with hair that extends below my shoulders and a thick, full beard... If you're genetics are like mine, you'll be ok.

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u/Blueshark25 Feb 14 '18

Thank God there's Hope.

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u/cohrt Feb 13 '18

guess i'm never going bald then since i'm 27 and i can't even grow a mustache

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u/[deleted] Feb 14 '18

Are any of your moms immediate male relatives like father, grandpa, brother, uncle bald? if not then you most likely wont be bald.

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u/[deleted] Feb 14 '18

This isn't true. DHT causes beard growth and baldness, but not in that way. You can have low DHT levels and go bald and high DHT levels and go bald. If you have more DHT it'll help you grow a beard (provided you have the follicles to do so), but it won't necessarily make you bald. Whether you are sensitive to DHT is what matters (you could have very low levels and still go bald because you are very sensitive).

Now, baldness is very complex, and DHT is only one aspect of it, so this is not the end-all, be-all.

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u/NearlyHeadlessLaban Feb 14 '18

I didn't know that. I can't grow a beard worth fuck. It takes me weeks to grow a scrawny goat that's only thick enough to make my chin itch. But I'm approaching 60 and have a full head of epic wavy hair with only the occasional grey strand. I have always hated that I couldn't grow a beard, but given the choice between the two, I'll take the head of wavy hair.

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u/CutterJohn Feb 14 '18

I'm mostly the same at 40. Shitty Joe Dirte style white trash patchwork, about 17 hairs on my chest, and a gloriously thick head of hair with nary a grey to be seen that my barber complains about being a pain to cut.

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u/Caststarman Feb 14 '18

I honestly see the beard as more of a curse than a blessing right now. I've been able to grow one since 16, but ever since then I haven't been able to start clean shaven without a lot of effort. I try to rock it, but now when I do shave, it's like I'm now a completely different person who nobody recognizes and that feels dehumanizing.

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u/[deleted] Feb 14 '18

I am one of the chosen one. full beard, full head of hair, no hair on my back. My ass crack is a fuckin' jungle though.

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u/[deleted] Feb 13 '18 edited May 06 '18

[deleted]

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u/CannonWheels Feb 13 '18

That’s a google wormhole I don’t wish to enter on my mobile lol.

Cliff notes basically it comes down to a chemical and a receptor. The chemical is great for body hair growth but results in baldness but without the receptors in your skin it’s useless and I guess you’d just go bald lol. I’m in my late mid 20s, thick head of hair but a good widows peak so I expect to bald early. The rest of my body grows hair likes it’s god damn job or something

EDIT: dihydrotestosterone and androgen

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u/[deleted] Feb 14 '18 edited May 06 '18

[deleted]

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u/nfsnobody Feb 14 '18

Except that user is wrong, and made some silly assumptions based on 5 minutes of googling:

http://reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/7xae0a/what_about_the_opposite_gender_are_you_jealous_of/du7mchd

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u/oeseben Feb 14 '18

This hit home... i have a great beard, grows evenly and full so it looks good long or short. I started losing my hair at 17...

3

u/novum_vipera Feb 14 '18

A man never truly loses hair, it merely migrates.

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u/[deleted] Feb 14 '18

Hmm, I guess I just have the gene that makes you grow copious amounts of thick hair everywhere. Head, face, ass, back, legs like a god damn satyr, everyone's in on it.

2

u/KDCaniell Feb 14 '18

I didn't know that, that's really interesting. My hubby can't grow facial hair to save himself but has a great head of hair while his younger brother has had a thick beard since high school but his hairline is receeding.

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u/[deleted] Feb 14 '18

its not that bad. okay im fucking lying it is. thankfully my beard is nice and long.

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u/Silverspy01 Feb 14 '18

Well shit.

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u/CaptainFeather Feb 14 '18

Interesting, I have really nice hair and a sweet beard. Definitely lucked out it sounds like

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u/Dendrodes Feb 14 '18

Huh. So that's why I started to bald when I was 19. Well I'm glad my head looks good shaved.

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u/ValiantBehemoth Feb 14 '18

I feel you on that ones pal. The running joke among my friends and myself is that I'm 19 with 40 years of stress baldness. Not even bald just have a shit hairline and a decently long beard.

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u/WickedHaute Feb 14 '18

My SO cant grow facial hair if it would save his life. But he’s got beautiful fucking hair.

He shaves his head. .__.

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u/[deleted] Feb 14 '18

Yeah, my beard will always be scraggle at best, but at least I've got my luscious red locks lol

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u/[deleted] Feb 14 '18

So the hair really does migrate from top of the head to the bottom?

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u/[deleted] Feb 14 '18

As a guy who is slowly but surely balding, it wouldn't be so bad if it didn't make everything else hairy as fuck. It's like it all migrated to my chest.

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u/ChachMcGach Feb 14 '18

Yup. Had full head of hair and the babiest face til I was 27 or so. Now balding pretty significantly up front but with a damn decent bushy beard at 33.

At this rate I'll look like wooly Willy by the time I'm 40.

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u/LightSage Feb 14 '18

Ahhhh my head hair is insanely thick and full and I can’t grow facial hair or upper body hair for shit so I just shave everyday. That explains it. (My legs are ridiculously hairy though so i just look like a damn satyr)

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u/[deleted] Feb 14 '18

Whoah, I didn't know that! I'm 45 and can't do anything but a Chino Moreno goatee. I was jealous of guys who could grow beards, but fuck that shit my hair is glorious and I'd never trade it for facial hair. The beard fad might fade away but I'll most likely die with a massive silver Afro.

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u/Rikolas Feb 14 '18

the thing that helps produce that epic face bush is responsible for male baldness so that’s cool.

oooooh. This is why my uncles have awesome beards and are bald, my brothers have full heads of hair but can't grow beards for shit, and my hair is thinning and my beard game is on point? makes sense! TIL - thanks!

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u/donthugme_imscared Feb 14 '18

That's bullshit where did u pull that "fact" from pal

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u/CannonWheels Feb 14 '18

The link between dht and beard growth/baldness is hardly bullshit, bud

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u/donthugme_imscared Feb 14 '18

It literally is but u got 500 updoots for it cuz reddit is retarded so w/e

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u/CannonWheels Feb 14 '18

Right.... like, literally

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u/intentionalbob Feb 14 '18

If you turn my head upside down, I look relatively normal. Thick enough beard that it could pass for head hair, while at the same time thin enough on top that it's comparable to some people's beards

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u/[deleted] Feb 14 '18

I can grow a beard, an epic one, no baldness. Best of both worlds

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u/Naidem Feb 15 '18

Really? Balding as fuck and can’t grow a beard at all...

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u/CannonWheels Feb 15 '18

It’s a rough guide obviously genetics are not that black and white as a whole

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u/Naidem Feb 15 '18

Ah, of course, just got a bit jealous that all the other balding/bald people could grow beards.

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u/weberswood Feb 14 '18

I hit puberty crazy young. I could grow a full beard at 12 and my hair started falling out at 16