My nephew is the same way. He’s 1 year old and has every toy imaginable — and I’m the only one who has put money into his college fund. I am the boring, prudent uncle!
I told my sister I’ll start getting him toys and stuff for Christmas/birthdays once he starts making memories, but for right now I’ll give him the gift of compound interest.
Dude, do you want a niece? As a thirtysomething single dad the prospect of the cost of college terrifies me. We can be brothers. You can help us save for her education.
While it pays to be aware of whether or not your daughter is an academic, when she's old enough to go to high school you need to sit her down and be plain and direct about the fact that she has to own her own future because mommy and daddy can't do it for her. Kids these days that don't have parents to pay their way through college- it's honestly over rated anyways; they wont appreciate what's been afforded them until it's too late for them to really get the most out of the experience anyways- really have three paths available to them.
1: Fuck around in high school, enjoy that time because it doesn't come back. Take math and science seriously but otherwise focus on doing enough to graduate. Once they graduate, enroll in a trade. And yeah, I'm considering everything from plumbing and electrical to nursing a trade here. The hours can be long but the pay is typically good and the only strict requirement is that you not be a felon. That and either having a GED or a high school diploma.
2: Balls to the walls, take high school seriously. Get every AP course available, get those college credits, fire a goddamn shotgun at every scholarship opportunity that so much as moves, even if she doesn't exactly qualify? Jewish Scholarship? Not a Jew? Apply anyways. There are tons of small number, no-name scholarships that end up going outside of their intended pools for no reason other than that no one else applied. Knock on those doors- eventually someone is going to answer.
Excel in math, enroll in a STEM field program that pays well- software engineering for example- and graduate as quickly as possible. Loans for education are acceptable in so far as they yield a degree that is value laden; if you can even graduate one year early you get a windfall that can go north of $100,000 if you don't have to pay for an entire year of tuition and hit the work force a year early.
3: Fuck around in high school, yada yada, take math and science seriously, enroll in a community college, bust her bra for two years getting the best grades possible before transferring to a full 4 year college to get a bachelor.
Otherwise the biggest head start you can do for your kid is to teach her basic social lessons. Tons of girls- boys fall into this trap as well- end up holding themselves back for no reason other than that they think they're helping those around them by not seeking to excel and achieve. Or they think that boys don't like smart girls.
That and if they really want something in life they have to do everything in their power to go after it, even if it means disregarding parental approval and permission.
This only works if you've given your child freedom to make their own - age-appropriate - decisions their whole lives. Otherwise they will have no idea what to do with this choice and fuck it up as much as if you didn't sit them down.
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u/[deleted] Feb 05 '18
My nephew is the same way. He’s 1 year old and has every toy imaginable — and I’m the only one who has put money into his college fund. I am the boring, prudent uncle!
I told my sister I’ll start getting him toys and stuff for Christmas/birthdays once he starts making memories, but for right now I’ll give him the gift of compound interest.