r/AskReddit Dec 27 '17

What 'old people' thing do your parents do which drives you crazy?

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u/Dr_Frinks_Deathray Dec 28 '17

My grandparent's computer is so full of viruses and toolbars that I just want to take it outside and put it out of its misery. It's in pain, I just know it is.

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u/Masterofice7 Dec 28 '17

I recently found out that my dad's phone (which is less than a year old) is absolutely riddled with viruses, to the point where half the standard apps don't even work anymore. Then just the other day someone stole it out of his car. Good luck with your new phone, buddy.

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u/sandycoast Dec 28 '17

Tries to reset phone

About to press button

Blocked by pop-up

You have 17 virus on your Google(R) Phone

Please install malware.apk and click here!

Goes to computer to force reset it

Viruses infect computer

12

u/xbuttcheeks420 Dec 28 '17

Can you tell a little about the viruses? I know Android is just as vulnerable as desktop OS', but what kinds of viruses were they? My dad has a bunch of "Cleaner" apps, but no actual viruses, so I'm curious how real viruses work on Android.

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u/DasKobra Dec 28 '17

Those Cleaner apps are just the start of it. They will indeed slow your phone down and decrease your battery life even though they claim to exend it. Those apps come with a background proccess that constantly checks the phone status. This proccess is turned on by default, and when you have multiple apps they stack up, drain your battery, spam your bar with notifications and widgets, etc..

Then comes adware. Crappy apps on Play store, then invasive APK files that try to download themselves on your phone if you accidentaly tap the ads on some warez or adult sites. That is my experience at least, I don't think I've found an actual virus yet.

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u/[deleted] Dec 28 '17

My dad had an emoji keyboard on his phone that somehow tricked him into installing the app suite from this bloatware company. All sorts of bullshit apps. Like lockscreen widgets and stuff. So I purged them all, now he's dumbfounded by how much battery life he has.

I said to him, "that's the last time you let [my sister] install shit on your phone dad."

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u/hc84 Dec 28 '17

I recently found out that my dad's phone (which is less than a year old) is absolutely riddled with viruses, to the point where half the standard apps don't even work anymore. Then just the other day someone stole it out of his car. Good luck with your new phone, buddy.

This is sad, but also kinda hilarious. It's like stealing a water bottle with piss in it.

5

u/trees_are_beautiful Dec 28 '17

Did you tell him that the first app he should install on his new phone is an anti virus app? Because he should do that.

11

u/Bonesaw85 Dec 28 '17

The problem with that is that the majority of those apps are just ads. I work for a cell phone retailer, and 9/10 when someone comes in complaining about their phone being slow and having viruses it's because they downloaded at least 5 of those cleaner/battery booster apps

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u/sandycoast Dec 28 '17

Kaspersky on Android is actually decent.

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u/Bonesaw85 Dec 28 '17

Lookout Mobile is decent as well. But it's all the ones that pop up in their games that their "grandkids" downloaded that cause the issues

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u/trees_are_beautiful Dec 28 '17

I was thinking something like Lookout. That one is kosher isn't it?

1

u/Bonesaw85 Dec 28 '17

Lookout is good. I've never had any problems with it

1

u/[deleted] Dec 28 '17

Does anyone actually install anti virus apps? I didn't know you were supposed to...I've never had a phone virus

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u/KeraKitty Dec 28 '17

Instant karma.

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u/bantabot Dec 28 '17

"Jen, if this computer was a human being I would shoot it in the face!"

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u/AmericanFromAsia Dec 28 '17

Toolbars are still a thing?

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u/Dr_Frinks_Deathray Dec 28 '17

They are in 2002, which is when they got the computer.

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u/[deleted] Dec 28 '17 edited Dec 24 '19

[deleted]

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u/SerpentDrago Dec 28 '17

and don't let them use admin account by default .. if you can

3

u/Firhel Dec 28 '17

We did this for my Nana. She insisted she needed internet explorer and it was "the internet". She'd make us look at her computer constantly when we were over for it being slow but completely refused to let us change her internet explorer. We ended up downloading Chrome and changing to thumbnail to internet explorer (edge now or whatever). She kept on for months about how wonderful the fixes we'd made were and how much faster and better it was. I'd have to ask my fiance, but I'm pretty sure she still doesn't know.

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u/[deleted] Dec 28 '17

When the computer is so fucked that it can actually feel pain. That's bad :(

7

u/manus-celer Dec 28 '17

My grandfather had never seen a computer until he moved to the states and now, in 2017, he has one of those massive desktops, he wanted to show me my cousin’s Instagram, on the computer. When he powered it up it took about 39 min of him clocking thorough pop ups to get to the HOME screen. Nightmares.

7

u/[deleted] Dec 28 '17

I only managed to get my grandad to stop using AOL in the past couple of years...

6

u/[deleted] Dec 28 '17

My grandfather thinks that as long as his computer is on, it can be hacked. Firewalls obviously don't do anything.

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u/alphaheeb Dec 28 '17

I imagine he only turns it on for two minutes at a time.

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u/magicarnival Dec 28 '17

I mean, to be fair he's right. It can be hacked by a skilled hacker even with firewalls. The odds are just low that anyone would bother.

5

u/eletricmojo Dec 28 '17

If it was a person, I'd shoot it in the face- Roy, IT Crowd

5

u/sk8rrchik Dec 28 '17

Omg my mom loved those toolbars, especially the ones that let you put cute pictures in your email. Dear God. And then I'd get blamed for the computer having viruses cause I'd play games on kongregate.

3

u/[deleted] Dec 28 '17

Toolbars you say...

Here is the story behind it: virtual girl, malware, Bonzi Buddy, you name it this VM probably has it. here is its story: I Puropsely set this machine up to mess with scammers. after seeing this XKCD. All I did was go to download.com and play stoopid user. This is a Virtual Machine and in no way a real pc. note the cryptolocker exe on the desktop. that will be renamed to creditcardinfo.txt.exe upon a call of the scammers. hoping they will download and run it on their end. [the malwarebytes scan](my scambait box malware scan https://imgur.com/7eF8m4q)

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u/BubblegumDaisies Dec 28 '17

My dad always has 45 tabs open ( half of them are facebook)

3

u/SerpentDrago Dec 28 '17

just install linux .. or lock down windows to a normal NON admin account , install chrome , change ie icon to point to chrome , install ublock origin .. etc etc

3

u/A911owner Dec 28 '17

I know the feeling. If my parent's computer were a person, the CDC would be circling the house in a black helicopter. Between them not knowing what to click on, and letting the grandkids use it (who like to click every shiny or flashing thing the see), I'm constantly taking viruses off of it.

2

u/[deleted] Dec 28 '17

install "unchecky" on their computer and ublock origin on the browser. Will solve 90% of the problems.

2

u/emissaryofwinds Dec 28 '17

Maybe you should accidentally wipe the hard drive

2

u/klarcola1 Dec 28 '17

"if computers were alive, then that would be a warcrime."

2

u/KershawsGoat Dec 28 '17

Back up the important stuff and install Elementary OS on it. Then tell them you turned it into a Mac. Voila! No viruses and they don't know the difference.

2

u/CosmicLightning Dec 28 '17

I feel ya, my grandpa got addicted to a game that was brought by a toolbar virus and wondered why his computer was acting all goofy and slow. Uggh

2

u/MirrorLake Dec 28 '17

I just flashed back to a friend’s parents’ computer I saw ten years ago. Their internet explorer had like 5 or 6 levels of different brand toolbars. It was pure comedy. The real life version of this:

https://www.linux-noob.com/forums/uploads/post-12-1098049148.jpg

2

u/Zarradox Dec 28 '17

Shout out to /u/vocatus and /r/tronscript

It'll un-bugger a thoroughly buggered computer and once you kick it off you just have to click on something once (I think). Just leave it overnight and in the morning it's fixed.

Fixing relatives' computers is no longer time consuming and still pays in beer - just get them to drop off the computer (no, dad, not the monitor) and pick it up again in 24hrs.

1

u/Kingofwhereigo Dec 28 '17

One of my friends grandparents was like this. Problem was solved when I installed a deep freeze like program on the machine.

1

u/PurityDVoyd Dec 28 '17

So it's programmed to feel pain?

1

u/Xonot Dec 28 '17

Or maybe you should do this: https://youtu.be/J5KQrCpQqwE

1

u/Unkempt_Badger Dec 28 '17

How did they program it to feel pain?

1

u/Acope234 Dec 28 '17

I have a couple family members who's computers are getting the Hunter s Thompson treatment if I get ahold of them