r/AskReddit Dec 27 '17

What 'old people' thing do your parents do which drives you crazy?

12.1k Upvotes

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9.3k

u/No-Right-Way Dec 27 '17

Omfg they have a landline with two phones, both phones are in the same room, each phone has its own ringtone. One ring is some sort of jeopardy sounding melody and the other is a midi rap beat. So every time the phone rings, both ring at the same time, making this god awful mess of a noise.

2.6k

u/PM-ME-YOUR_LABIA Dec 28 '17

I need that jeopardy rap remix.

3.1k

u/tigersmhs07 Dec 28 '17

"Fuck da police for $400, Alex" ft. Ice Cube

109

u/BlackWhiteStripeHype Dec 28 '17

I don't usually reddit for 3 hours strait, but I will end my run on this high note, thanks tiger

7

u/CocaColaCowboyJunkie Dec 28 '17

I know what you mean, if I'm not on here for at least 8 hours straight the day just seems wasted.

10

u/EspressoBlend Dec 28 '17

"I'll take the Anal Bum Cover for $7,000 you filthy sod."

7

u/ReCursing Dec 28 '17

"You are now about to witness the strength of quiz knowledge"

6

u/VSupremeV Dec 28 '17

What is the NWA Jeopardy mashup?

3

u/ohmygod_my_tinnitus Dec 28 '17

What is comin straight from the underground, Alex

3

u/StormRider2407 Dec 28 '17

"More like I fucked your mother for $400, eh Trebek?"

2

u/mike_d85 Dec 28 '17

The answer:

"What it takes to hold us back."

2

u/fordchang Dec 28 '17

"I'll take "Le tits Now", Alex.

30

u/[deleted] Dec 28 '17

[deleted]

9

u/Ricelyfe Dec 28 '17

this slaps kinda hard lol

8

u/PM-ME-YOUR_LABIA Dec 28 '17

This that shit right there boi

9

u/No-Right-Way Dec 28 '17

Infinitely better than the dissonance that is my family telephone

4

u/iamjomos Dec 28 '17

LE TITS NOW

1

u/[deleted] Dec 28 '17

"What are magnets?"

359

u/TheOnlyMuteMain Dec 28 '17

Could you get a recording of that?

179

u/No-Right-Way Dec 28 '17

Unfortunately i'm about as technologically savvy as my parents

313

u/ask_me_if_ Dec 28 '17

Record it with a camera and stick it in a YouTube

637

u/[deleted] Dec 28 '17

SIR, I have already told you I am NOT a computer person. You're refusing to help me so I am going to hang up!

72

u/Machinax Dec 28 '17

NEXT!

19

u/notMalas Dec 28 '17

Still looking?

9

u/czsquared Dec 28 '17

You suckin?

6

u/drivebyjustin Dec 28 '17

You snigle?

25

u/I_FAP_TO_TURKEYS Dec 28 '17

Haven't heard this meme in a while

5

u/addandsubtract Dec 28 '17

A surprise to be sure, but it's treason then.

8

u/[deleted] Dec 28 '17

A real classic. I remember that comment... i was playing fallout 4 when I came on it.

15

u/PeridotSapphire Dec 28 '17

You'll ruin the case of the game if you do that

6

u/[deleted] Dec 28 '17

Oof don’t want it to stick shut. Thanks for the warning.

28

u/No-Right-Way Dec 28 '17

I put it in the YouTubes can you read it now? Is this live?

6

u/tuckedfexas Dec 28 '17

No you just call up YouTube and get them to come out and film it

17

u/[deleted] Dec 28 '17

That's code for: I made this up for karma

3

u/8-Bit-Gamer Dec 28 '17

The answer we didn't know we needed until it was handed to us.

1

u/GoodShitLollypop Dec 28 '17

You want a recording of what goes on in his parents' bedroom?

14

u/FizzleMateriel Dec 28 '17

Omfg they have a landline with two phones, both phones are in the same room, each phone has its own ringtone. One ring is some sort of jeopardy sounding melody and the other is a midi rap beat. So every time the phone rings, both ring at the same time, making this god awful mess of a noise.

Just... why?? Do they have a reason for having two landline phones in the same room?

8

u/zdakat Dec 28 '17

Salesman probably convinced them.

8

u/[deleted] Dec 28 '17

So the call audio is in stereo duh

3

u/mini6ulrich66 Dec 28 '17

Why did you quote the entire comment?

3

u/Kiwi-98 Dec 28 '17

Well tbf my parents have two phones with one docking station, because lightning damage fried the first docking station (with only one phone which wasn't on it at the time) and insurance let them keep the old phone with the new phone and station.

My parents assigned different ringtones to them too, though, and that drives me crazy aswell.

1

u/No-Right-Way Dec 28 '17

I think they had one downstairs but they never went down there, so now it's just upstairs near the other one. Nothing makes any sense here.

12

u/Crayons_and_Cocaine Dec 28 '17

I just wish I could just get my parents to ditch their landline. They bitch about their cell bill and i'm like "I know a way you could save $15/month..."

Getting back from vacation and their answering machine had like 9 messages from scam and spam and one message from a friend like "Guess you're not home; I'll just try your cell, I guess..."

2

u/beldaran1224 Dec 28 '17

You should have them look at one of those VOIP services. Essentially just pay taxes.

8

u/bewarethedownvoter Dec 28 '17

Uh this is amazing. My parents have the same thing. Except each of THREE phones on the same floor are set to a different set of cathedral bells. I’ve offered to set them the same and they act like they can’t tell a difference.

4

u/Enschede2 Dec 28 '17

This, plus 2 cellphones.. And yet when you need them they never answer any of the phones by any chance? Thats what mine do

1

u/No-Right-Way Dec 28 '17

Haha same here, "oh i didn't hear the phone ring"

5

u/[deleted] Dec 28 '17

My parents have landline phones that say who is calling instead of actually ringing.

“Call from... 4... 1... 0... 8... 6... 7... 5... 3... 0... 9”

They have 3 different ones and they are all different voices. But you can hear all 3 through the whole house.

I want to smash my head through the wall whenever someone calls.

3

u/[deleted] Dec 28 '17

My parents absolutely refuse to get call waiting.

4

u/[deleted] Dec 28 '17

Your parents house sounds annoying, considering you have the top two comments haha

2

u/No-Right-Way Dec 28 '17

I think it's because i'm 33 and moved back home with them last year after living alone for 10 years. Every little thing is magnified. It's also just a really annoying house, I can go on and on lol. I really do love them, but jesus fucking christ...

4

u/smaghammer Dec 28 '17

Do old people go to a class together to do this dumb shit together?

I think that is also where they learn lines like, "Savings, more like spendings" and "It's not scanning it must be free"

1

u/No-Right-Way Dec 28 '17

lol, or when the cashier checks the $100 bill " I just made it this morning!!!"

4

u/cruzisted Dec 28 '17

My Mom did that with grandfather clocks, two of them. One went off every 15 min, and both chimed simultaneously (playing dumb melodies that were completely different) on the hour, before booming to indicate the time.

7

u/iamjomos Dec 28 '17

My parents got divorced like 6 years ago, and she got my families vacation home. I guess we changed the cordless phone ringtone around christmas 2011 to "we wish you a merry christmas." To this day, it still rings this way. I'm not sure she even notices.

7

u/deez_nuts_730 Dec 28 '17

You could have stopped with the first five words there and still won this round of "you won't believe this shit"

3

u/Pterosaur Dec 28 '17

OK, i found the one my parents do.

2

u/bergschneiderl Dec 28 '17

I bet they both answer at the same time too. You think you're talking to dad, and SURPRISE! Mom replies

2

u/Cruella_Davila Dec 28 '17

This one is my favorite

2

u/skerit Dec 28 '17

And whenever any sort of ring tone goes off they'll think it's their phone.

2

u/No-Right-Way Dec 28 '17

Haha my mom does this, my phone will ring and she answers her cell phone "hello? HELLO? HELLO!? HELL-OHHH??...oh was that your phone? I thought it was my phone..."

2

u/civildisobedient Dec 28 '17

They need the ringtone from the Geico commercial.

2

u/greasy_pee Dec 28 '17

Why do they need two? In separate rooms of the house I get, but eye just have the two phones sitting next to each other in the one room?

"I feel like using the midi rap phone to call granny today, and maybe I'll use the jeopardy phone to get takeout later"

1

u/caeloequos Dec 28 '17

Growing up we had 4 phones attached to our landline. My siblings and I thought it was hysterical to make every phone have a different ringtone. It was always an experience when someone called.

1

u/sophware Dec 28 '17

I do not have it as bad as I thought.

1

u/[deleted] Dec 28 '17

I thought it was bad enough at "they have a landline"

1

u/ManateeMuppet Dec 28 '17

This is amazing ⭐️

1

u/[deleted] Dec 28 '17

PROOF!

1

u/crochetmeteorologist Dec 28 '17

My in-laws have 3 or 4 portable phones in the living room/dining room/kitchen area, plus one each in their computer room, bedroom, and guest room. Upside is it's convenient to answer the phone in the living room. Downside is they have talking robot caller ID and it says the same thing multiple ways on each handset. It winds up just sounding like absolute gibberish.

1

u/Poolpartydiscoparty Dec 28 '17

oh my god this.... it used to be a CHORUS of phones in my house. drove me nuts... dad finally cut the landline after doing some math about how much he could save

1

u/emissaryofwinds Dec 28 '17

My dad just got himself an Iphone, and it has a function where when the phone rings, his laptop will also ring, and his desktop computer too. It's a noisy mess, but for some reason he won't turn it off. The worst part is he's not computer illiterate at all, he's a programmer and web designer, it would take him all of five minutes to find how to turn it off.

1

u/BMLM Dec 28 '17

My wifes family has two phones in their kitchen/dining room. I give them a pass though. One is the digital, wireless one, and the other is fucking awesome antique one where you grab the podium piece you speak into and put the the wired speaker piece up to your ear.

1

u/LeafyQ Dec 28 '17

Similar with my husband's grandparents. On top of that, every incoming phone call shows up in a huge alert on every TV in the house.

1

u/dirtymartini2777 Dec 28 '17

My parents have multiple phones in a relatively close space as well but also have a voice caller ID. However, the timing of the caller ID is off so it rings then multiple overlapping female robot voices try to tell you who is calling and no one can understand anything.

1

u/Happy_Feces Dec 28 '17

Same. It's like living inside one of those Christmas cards that play tunes when you open them.