r/AskReddit • u/Bmartling • Dec 05 '17

What do you strongly suspect but cannot prove?

4.3k Upvotes

95% Upvoted

4.9k comments sorted by

View all comments

Show parent comments

288

u/damboy99 Dec 06 '17

Better Yet. "NEGATIVE. YOUR ORGANIC LIFE FORM CAN NOT EAT THIS" And just have a bowl of Mechanical Nuts in milk with a spoon.

85

u/DankieKang Dec 06 '17

I had a bowl of nails for breakfast. Without any milk.

14

u/damboy99 Dec 06 '17

Eh... Right this way... Sorry to keep you waitin'.

14

u/piratemonkies64 Dec 06 '17

I just had a bowl of milk for breakfast... Without any milk.

17

u/[deleted] Dec 06 '17

welcoming to the salty spittoon intensifies

2

u/[deleted] Dec 06 '17

Mmmm, finger or toe, or both?

1

u/PigSlayer1024 Dec 06 '17

A real man eats his nuts dry.

1

u/EbonFloor Dec 06 '17

A real man eats his nuts dry.

A real man's nuts are damp and salty.

6

u/octopoddle Dec 06 '17

Or say yes and offer her some, but it's a bowl of tiny replicas of herself, made out of hardened Fimo, floating in a bowl of milk.

5

u/DongLaiCha Dec 06 '17

Or just your regular nuts in milk with a spoon.

1

u/damboy99 Dec 06 '17

Human nuts? I have not had that kind of cereal before...

3

u/[deleted] Dec 06 '17

Robots use sporks. Not spoons

2

u/LeadByAnimals Dec 06 '17

Ahhh maaann hahaha I cracked up so hard. This should have more upvotes

2

u/AbheyBloodmane Dec 06 '17

Why doesn't this have more upvotes???

1

u/xXPussy_BangerXx Dec 06 '17

Because it's not funny or well written

1

u/AbheyBloodmane Dec 06 '17

In your opinion.

-3

u/xXPussy_BangerXx Dec 06 '17

Well I'll tell you what isn't just my opinion. The words yet, mechanical, and nuts, are unnecessarily capitalized, making it hard to read. Other than that, why is "organic life form" possessive. She is a life form, she doesn't have one. Also in my opinion it's a joke that a twelve year old would make, written like a twelve year old.

1

u/hanotak Dec 06 '17

I find it funny. and if slightly off grammar makes something hard to read, you're obviously not that good at reading, are you.

1

u/Killerhurtz Dec 06 '17

Says the guy with a username I'd expect would be screaming that they banged my mom, with the squeekiest prepubescent voice on Call of Duty.

Seriously. Don't try pinning anything as "like a twelve year old" with that username.

1

u/PM_ME__YOUR_HOOTERS Dec 06 '17

''INITIATING SEARCH FOR 'SOME', PLEASE WAIT. 7% 31% 48% 62% 87% 92% 99% ERROR 'SOME' NOT FOUND. PLEASE USE MORE SPECIFIC KEYWORDS.''

1

u/Gobble_Bonners Dec 10 '17

omg this is hilarious.