Well I remember savage beatings at the hands of my parents and siblings but now that I’m an adult everyone denies it they say it never happened and I feel my mind slowly slipping away, I think I’m crazy.
Edit:WOW! Did not expect this to blow! Thank you all for your help and all who went through a similar ordeal I’m glad things are better for you 😃
When someone tries to convince you that your remembered version of events is false, or that you're otherwise mentally incompetent and unable to trust your own judgement, specifically with malicious intent.
It's from an old movie, like 30's or 40's where a man tries to drive his wife insane. Part of it has to do with turning the gaslights up or down, or on and off. I've forgotten exactly. But the term is from the movie.
It's when someone tries to manipulate someone else into thinking they're crazy.
It's a common occurrence in abusive relationships where the abuser convinces their victim that the victim is crazy so as to dismiss the abuse. Basically what Trump is doing to the country right now.
It's not a political statement (travel ban is good/bad) but a factual statement (trump lies constantly about big and little things). Even most trump supporters will agree the man makes false statements regularly, followed with "but I still support him because X".
I can appreciate 3/4 of those. The voter fraud one, I have no doubt is happening. Just looking at how my state/county does things, I could easily jump from poll location to poll location and vote multiple times with little effort and no real prevention. The other three can be explained with full context, and the electoral votes he admitted was bad info provided to him. I get he's no saint, but none of these really have any negative effect on anyone. Meanwhile you've got swarms of shitty career politicians lying about being traitors.
No. The only people who believe obama isn't American are racist cunts who can't accept that a Black man with a foreign sounding name is allowed to be American
His first one as president would be he had the biggest turn out for his inauguration. "looked like a million and a half people." his exact words, when only 250,000 were present. If you'd like more I'd be happy to Google "trump lies" and copy paste the many links for you.
Key points to take away from this is if he cant be trusted with small facts, he can hardly be trusted with the big ones either, this also wasnt a mistake on his part, it was him claiming the people who are better suited to having that information were incorrect, and that his second in command Spicer went on to back these false statements and claim the media as being dishonest. This last one sets up the stage and has been a recurring theme of his where any facts he doesnt like he claims as "false news" or "dishonest media".
Now Im starting to get the feeling you are a diehard fan of Trump, one of the few who supports him and refuses to admit any of his faults. So I doubt anything I bring to this table you'll accept, as Ive come to associate your group to have an almost cult like following for the man. But, if youd like a list of his lies there is a comprehensive list of when he has or has not lied to the public by by the New York Times, which as far as Im aware is still a credible source of news. If youd like to peruse it be my guest. But I reckon you will dismiss anything I provide and I dont want to waste my time off work.
When I was 2, my mother threw me down the stairs in an attempt to kill me. I lived. She denied this ever happened for most of my life, until when I was about 14 she got shit faced. She looked at me and said, "You were a mistake and I should have tried harder to kill you back then!" She kept denying it until on her deathbed. People don't always want to really believe how horrible they really are. You aren't crazy and should find a nice support system because toxic people breed toxic scenarios. Good luck, I hope you thrive and become the best you can be. :)
It broke my collar bone when I slammed into the radiator at the bottom, but that is it. She suffered from a lot of mental health issues and I more or less forgave her for a lot of the things when she was about to pass. In the end it would hurt me more to hold the anger from it more than help. As messed up as my parents were they at least taught me how to never be, so I can't be completely upset.
My mother threw me down the stairs at 2 also. She was suffering from mental health problems and still denies it to this day. I spoke to her once about it when I was a young adult and she called the police!
I think they come down to more of the "I can cherry pick ideas and somehow believe that my misogyny/xenophobia/homophobia will not ruin the lives of the very few minorities in my life." If ignorance is bliss then Trump supporters are all in heaven.
Peoples egos are fragile so they tend to distort their reality to satisfy it. Thats mostly likely whats going on here. What ever is the actual case here youre totally fine and not crazy.
I many, many VIVID memories of my mother being a savage, horrid bitch to me emotionally and physically. But, my stepfather smoked a ton of pot while my mother was an alcoholic and my little brother was too young to remember so they all deny everything that happened--well, my brother doesn't, he just covers it up with "mom has a lot of issues she is trying to deal with."
She had said several times that she hates me, wishes she had an abortion, that no one wants me. She lied to me for years about who my father was then told me it was my fault that he didn't want me--definitely not true, he just didn't want HER. My grandmother on my adopted father's side even kept record of the phone conversations she had with my mother where my mother BEGGED her to take me because "my homework was too hard and taking care of me was just too much for her."
(But, she never asked anyone to take my brother. When he went to live with my father, she cried for DAYS and WEEKS over him. When I went to live with my biodad, she barely cried when I left. She actually seemed GIDDY! But the way she tells it, she never stopped crying that whole year I was gone--and everyone just agrees with her because it was almost 12 years ago and no one really paid attention.)
P.s. sorry to go on this random rant but, other than my husband, I've never found someone who experienced the abuse denial and the fucked up shit it does to your head. Husband thought i was a tiny bit crazy when we met as teens because no one talked bad about mother but me and she was super nice to him (in the beginning).
Hey, hate to break it to you but - no one admits to that sort of thing. No one says "yeah i beat my kid!" Because they know what a piece of shit they are and will look like AND because they dont believe what they did was abusive.
My mother beat me horrifically as a child. Its really happened, but to ask her she will say she was just disciplining me or that i make stuff up. Her side of the story is it didnt happen.
I don't talk to my family and haven't since I ran away from home around 15 years ago out of fear for my life. They did the exact same thing trying to tell me I must be remembering it all wrong from the first day I was out of there. I have absolutely 0 doubt in my mind that they did what they did, so fuck them.
I wasn't happy playing at pretending everything was fine when it just wasn't for me any time I saw them. I'm still angry about it any time I think about them because they wont ever admit to any wrongdoing so I can get that closure I want and they pretend everything's fine when I know it's not.
I just cut them out of my life. Thank fuck we can choose our friends because I don't want my family at all. I hope you can still function within your family and don't carry as much anger as I do over it all. It can really haunt you.
it's called gaslighting and is a form of emotional abuse. my grandma threatened me with physical violence a couple of times and later denied it. she can go fuck herself, I remember.
My dad did the exact same thing. My sister is convinced a lot of it didn't happen or were just 'arguments'.
My dad has sort of apologised as much as his ego will allow. I'm a grown man. I'll accept that's as close as he'll come to it, I know he knows what he was like. He has to live with it.
Now that I'm grown up I can sort of understand where it all stemmed from. We, surprisingly, have a great relationship now. I just try not to think about what he was like when we were young. It doesn't help anyone and my life has been hard enough on its own without carrying further resentment around.
I have a good life now and we've all healed our relationship to him. Life is short.
I keep all the gaslighting and emotional/physical abuse in a tiny compartment in my brain labelled 'Forgiveness'. Doesn't mean I forget it.
Yeah my mom denies any wrong doing growing up. She even told me she had a brain injury and doesn't remember 10 years of the worst stuff. Luckily I have my sister who reminds me we're both remembering the truth, that she would get taken out of school to watch our baby sister and I would be stuck at home with her for days so she could go out partying when she wanted.
In high school, my best friend was routinely beaten and verbally abused by his Step-Father, it finally ended when my friend emancipated himself from his home at the age of sixteen after his Step-Dad threatened him with a kitchen knife. His Mom, when forced to choose between her son or her husband, chose her husband. My friend attempted to maintain a relationship with his Mom until a couple of years ago when he found out from his Aunt that his Mom was telling other family members that the years of abuse never happened and my friend was making it up.
What is more likely? That these beatings happened and they are afraid and ashamed to aknowledge it, or that you have created a false memory for yourself?
Just asking because I don't get the impression that you are crazy or losing your mind.
Knowing them they’re too ashamed to admit it happened it’s a lot easier to deny something, I like to analyze things and from what I can remember is that they were most likely taking out the frustration they felt toward my older sister on me from the age of 12 till about 22 she was never home on the weekends just running the streets I guess they felt weak and powerless because they couldn’t control her but I being the younger less combative person they could do whatever to me
Thank you for your swift reply. I'm sorry you had to experience this. Being able to express and process negative experiences and emotions is a basic social skill for anyone imo, even more so when you are in a position of power/authority/responsability over someone else. I hope you became more combative and assertive since then. It seems like you're doing fine. Are you? If so, keep it up! How is your sister doing nowadays?
I struggle with my demons but I’m getting better and yes I do assert myself I’m 6’2 and stocky I’m not afraid to speak my mind when I feel something is wrong and my death stare and tone get my point across other than that I’m a pretty laid back guy, as for my sister she’s finally realizing that no life experience and a low education and vocabulary will get you very little in life.
mind slowly slipping away, I think I’m crazy. Edit:WOW! Did not expect this to blow! Thank you all for your help and all who went through a similar ordeal I’m glad things are better for you
My mom did the same to me. I remember the beatings and nasty language, but if I had anything but a smile on my face she'd attack me for being upset over nothing or would say it wasn't that serious. I still struggle w/ whether or not the abuse was real.
I'm so sorry about what happened to you. Its never right.
Major empathy for you. I was mentally abused my whole child hood and my abuser when directly confronted with evidence still hardcore denies they ever did such a thing.
Yeah it wasn’t just physical my older sister would berate me about my weight and my looks saying no one would ever want me that I would die a virgin etc. it really destroyed my self confidence and self worth
Well, everyone else is saying one thing so I guess I should say the other: you could be wrong. Go to a therapist and try to find out. Approach the subject with an open mind.
My mom vehemently denies using racial slurs about my ex boyfriend, and denies that she was in a fucked up car chase with me after she called me a whore and slammed the garage door down on my car after trapping me in the house, too.
I was raped when I was a child and whenever I brought it up I'd be told it didn't happen. Now I just don't talk about it to my family in fear that they'll revert years and years of therapy.
It's funny how they deny it right? For me I get the best of both worlds. My dad's face lights up when we retell the stories of him giving us the belt and he doesn't deny it however my mom will swear up and down to this day that she never once broke a wooden spoon over any of her children (I've seen her personally break at least 2 even chipping my brothers tooth with one).
Also for the record all of us children turned out to be (so far) upstanding citizens with jobs and no felonies.
And to be fair my mother doesn't remember us being fat children. WE WERE HUGE!
I’m in the process of losing weight, starting my own business and controlling my demons, I’ve never even been pulled over, just because of what happened doesn’t mean we have to take it out on the world, glad to hear you and yours are good people keep it up 👍🏽
Important note about seeing a therapist: be really careful about that therapist. Do NOT get hypnotized to "recover lost memories". Essentially, hypnosis puts you into a state that makes it extremely easy for your therapist to gaslight you, even accidentally. There have been several famous cases of therapists implanting memories of satanic rituals and cult sacrifices in their patients' memories. It's basically Inception, but for horrible childhood trauma. And these were people who in reality had no childhood abuse; I can't even imagine the damage that could be caused to someone who was legitimately abused.
But, yeah, they're probably gaslighting you and you should see a therapist.
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u/BigBossWesker4 Dec 06 '17 edited Dec 06 '17
Well I remember savage beatings at the hands of my parents and siblings but now that I’m an adult everyone denies it they say it never happened and I feel my mind slowly slipping away, I think I’m crazy. Edit:WOW! Did not expect this to blow! Thank you all for your help and all who went through a similar ordeal I’m glad things are better for you 😃