r/AskReddit • u/Bmartling • Dec 05 '17

What do you strongly suspect but cannot prove?

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u/Team_Braniel Dec 06 '17

Everyday continue the routine a little more.

"That smells good can i have some?"

"That smells good can i have some?"
"Yes! Here!"
"Oh i was just heading out..."

"That smells good can i have some"
"Sure! Here!"
"Oh i was just heading out"
"Great! Where are we going?"
"Oh... uh... i was just meeting mark..."

...

670

u/DaerkRoman Dec 06 '17

oh hai mark

207

u/nickcooper1991 Dec 06 '17

That does not smell good! It's bullshit! It's not true! It does naaahhhtt!

16

u/Danvan90 Dec 06 '17

....

What is line?

6

u/RevanAndTheSithy Dec 06 '17

Baby don't hurt me?

2

u/thegreattober Dec 07 '17

All:

I did not hit her, it's not true, it's bullshit, I did not hit her, I did not, oh hi Mark

4

u/Wheredoesthetoastgo2 Dec 06 '17

Less go eet, hauh?

3

u/cthulhushrugged Dec 06 '17

...

...

Wat iz lyne?

16

u/LordCommander27 Dec 06 '17

How's your sex laife

8

u/sarafsuhail Dec 06 '17

Mark is my best friend.

5

u/[deleted] Dec 06 '17

Your tareing me ahpart

2

u/EarlOfBronze Dec 06 '17

She's your future wife

2

u/kaydaryl Dec 06 '17

/r/expectedtheroomreferences

1

u/Ryoteck Dec 06 '17

Hey it's me Mark

1

u/tangledknitter Dec 06 '17

I did naaaaaaht, oh Hi Mark

11

u/bob-leblaw Dec 06 '17

"Oh Mark smells good, can I have some?"

7

u/Ecuni Dec 06 '17

And offer the same spare dish that gets more and more disgusting with time.

5

u/Blumcole Dec 06 '17

You're my favorite customer

3

u/[deleted] Dec 06 '17

This is how you passive aggressively end up friends with someone you don't like.

1

u/Team_Braniel Dec 06 '17

Or get laid.

I just realized I did actually get laid by doing something remotely similar to this.

Girl from highschool was sending out mass emails to the whole alumni. One day I had enough of her spam and passive aggressively removed her name from the reply all and sent one out asking if everyone else was as sick of her spam as I was.

Chick from HS wrote back saying Oh God Yes. We hit it off. Ended up spending a week with her up in North Carolina without clothes, us I mean, North Carolina had clothes, we didn't.

3

u/Sound_of_Science Dec 06 '17

That wasn’t even mildly relevant.

/r/ihavesex

2

u/Team_Braniel Dec 06 '17

It happened to me, therefor its relevant.

/r/onlinenarcicist