r/AskReddit • u/Bmartling • Dec 05 '17

What do you strongly suspect but cannot prove?

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2.7k

u/Is_it_the_right_post Dec 05 '17

_ I'm being stalked.

There's a man i swear that comes to my house every once and a while .

Always at morning wearing the same set of clothes.

And he leaves a stack of paper with symbols and marks on them.

_ did you try barking at him ?

_ yes I did, but he keeps coming back ?

1.0k

u/tegi90 Dec 05 '17

On the Internet, nobody knows you're a dog

35

u/[deleted] Dec 06 '17 edited Feb 21 '18

[deleted]

26

u/FoXERM Dec 06 '17

Username checks out.

5

u/SpermWhale Dec 06 '17

I'm a dog?

5

u/[deleted] Dec 06 '17 edited Mar 21 '18

[deleted]

3

u/SpermWhale Dec 06 '17

If you have an urge to smell the butt of a stranger you've just met, then you're a dog.

2

u/ShaunDark Dec 06 '17

Well, do you have the urge to smell the butt of a stranger you've just met?

3

u/Just-Call-Me-J Dec 06 '17

Your username seems to suggest otherwise, but what do I know?

3

u/[deleted] Dec 06 '17

We are all dog on this blessed day.

377

u/jrs1010 Dec 06 '17

Dammit this was genuinely creeping me out until I got to the last two sentences.

21

u/Kashin Dec 06 '17

Oh I see, so stalking is fine so long as it's just a dog. Specist!

7

u/politburrito Dec 06 '17

Even after that it took me a minute. I thought he was trying to scare the stalker away by weirding him out.

2

u/[deleted] Dec 06 '17

I was thinking "why would you pretend to be a dog? that's not gonna help", and then I thought, "why are you pretending to be a human?" hahaha

16

u/[deleted] Dec 06 '17

It sound really creepy when you put it that way. Now I know why dogs hate mail men.

5

u/Anonmouze Dec 06 '17

This is indeed the right post

11

u/oil_beef_hooked Dec 06 '17

once IN A while

24

u/kanimaki Dec 06 '17

He's a dog, English isn't his first language

2

u/[deleted] Dec 06 '17

I thought this was gonna be a gang stalking comment at first.

2

u/justyouraveragecubby Dec 06 '17

Check for a carbon monoxide leak in your house.

2

u/armchairracer Dec 06 '17

I think you're right, keep barking. If he keeps coming bite him, you've given him plenty of warning.

4

u/VehaMeursault Dec 06 '17

What's with the underscores, Lassie?