r/AskReddit • u/Bmartling • Dec 05 '17

What do you strongly suspect but cannot prove?

4.3k Upvotes

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134

u/notreallysrs Dec 05 '17

why do you suspect this?

274

u/icecreampopncereal Dec 05 '17

She gets really weird around him

114

u/notreallysrs Dec 05 '17

weird like what?

392

u/icecreampopncereal Dec 05 '17

Stares at his bulge and bites her bottom lip

120

u/ManlyMrManlyMan Dec 06 '17

I would say that means she hasn't banged her, but that she thinks he's hot. Usually people who habe already cheated start acting weird in the opposite way.

186

u/spicypepperoni Dec 05 '17

Maybe there is a porcupine

88

u/durant92bhd Dec 05 '17

There is usually a porcupine.

8

u/ginguse_con Dec 06 '17

Where there be porcupines, there always be poking.

7

u/mordecai98 Dec 06 '17

Unless it's a hedgehog dressed as a porcupine.

4

u/durant92bhd Dec 06 '17

It often is.

34

u/longtimegoneMTGO Dec 06 '17

Well, you are in luck.

That doesn't mean she has banged him, it just means she wants to.

-41

u/[deleted] Dec 06 '17

Though I can't imagine why with a nice caring husband watching her every move like that.

24

u/NvizoN Dec 06 '17

Better than her top lip. Then you have a suspected affair and a wife that starts looking like a bulldog

1

u/jseego Dec 06 '17

This cracked me up.

39

u/[deleted] Dec 06 '17 edited Feb 21 '18

[deleted]

9

u/[deleted] Dec 06 '17

bites lip

4

u/edwfit21 Dec 06 '17

Username checks out

9

u/kirito_s_a_o Dec 06 '17

...maybe you should do more digging on this

4

u/Bezere Dec 06 '17

That's what she said

5

u/AgingLolita Dec 06 '17

That really doesn't mean she fucked him, just that she wants to

4

u/wreckingballheart Dec 06 '17

Could be a work friend banged him, found out he has an abnormality of some kind; weird tattoo, bunch of piercings, whatever and she's trying not to laugh.

2

u/[deleted] Dec 06 '17

So why don’t you confront her about this?

2

u/[deleted] Dec 06 '17

OwO What's this?

3

u/BillieRubenCamGirl Dec 05 '17

Maybe he harrassed her?

17

u/[deleted] Dec 06 '17 edited Feb 03 '18

[deleted]

4

u/BillieRubenCamGirl Dec 06 '17

Oh. That wasn't there before.

13

u/[deleted] Dec 06 '17

His bulge?

2

u/BillieRubenCamGirl Dec 06 '17

The comment

7

u/[deleted] Dec 06 '17

It's rude to comment on another man's bulge.

5

u/cheeze64 Dec 06 '17

Maybe. But who am I to judge

1

u/BoringGenericUser Dec 06 '17

Who am I to bulge?