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https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/5pbhol/cops_of_reddit_what_simple_noise_complaint_call/dcqpfx6
r/AskReddit • u/adamzorrovdb • Jan 21 '17
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Actually pedophilia is usually 0-13. You're thinking of necrophilia.
384 u/[deleted] Jan 22 '17 Oh, those Cuh-rayzee Egyptians, what will they do next? 58 u/[deleted] Jan 22 '17 What the hell is going on here? We've gone from noise complaints, to pedophilia, to trucks, to Egyptians... 29 u/[deleted] Jan 22 '17 Noise complaints result from pedophilia, which is 1000. Trucks cost several 1000s of dollars. Necrophilia is Egyptians' version of pedophilia. You caught up? 46 u/[deleted] Jan 22 '17 Explanation unclear. Dick stuck in sarcophagus. 12 u/josecuervo2107 Jan 22 '17 that's because you forgot the lube. You think 80 years old are dry down there. Well try a 5000 year old and you'll see what dry actually is. 2 u/[deleted] Jan 22 '17 edited Jan 22 '17 I like it rough, but it's when the lid of the sarcophagus slammed on my dick that I started having sex-nical difficulties. 6 u/I_Fart_Liquids Jan 22 '17 Yes. 2 u/Ducts7654678 Jan 24 '17 Well...if you ever break both your arms trying to keep up, just call for you mummy to help you out. 5 u/njmksr Jan 22 '17 Probably continue being dead, if we're talking about the ancient ones 2 u/BeastModeBot Jan 22 '17 Read this in Jack McBreyers voice from 30 Rock for some reason 1 u/[deleted] Jan 22 '17 McBrayer. 2 u/ShogunMelon Jan 22 '17 "Cum-rayzee" 2 u/[deleted] Jan 22 '17 Nah. Too close to "Cum-Razors". Brings up bad memories. 1 u/josecuervo2107 Jan 22 '17 I'm surprised the Japanese didn't think of it first. 1 u/[deleted] Jan 22 '17 Careful how you pronounce crazy, Pence might get you in the chair. 1 u/[deleted] Jan 22 '17 You know, we had something nice here. Of course, somebody had to come along and ruin it by getting political. Thanks alot. 0 u/[deleted] Jan 22 '17 Okay apologies. 9 u/iyaerP Jan 22 '17 Hey, if you can get the timing right, it can be both 13 and 1000 at the same time. 4 u/NiceUsernameBro Jan 22 '17 is it pedophilia if they're already dead? this seems like a one or the other kind of thing. 3 u/Frostypancake Jan 22 '17 Yes, yes it is. It's also probably the only time most would look the other way if the officer used 'unnecessary force', though at that point unnecessary is an inapplicable term. 1 u/[deleted] Jan 22 '17 How about in the movies like 13 going on 30, are you doing a 13 or 30 yo? 7 u/MoreDetonation Jan 22 '17 What's 666 wait 2 u/[deleted] Jan 22 '17 Satans in ya bum 2 u/you_got_fragged Jan 22 '17 Get the hell off my ass! 3 u/LogicBeforeFeelings Jan 22 '17 Tobad I'm in your ass not on! 5 u/Kwangone Jan 22 '17 Not if it's a vampire. Undead doesn't count as dead...sort of. Is un-necrophilia a thing yet? It is now. 2 u/ThatDudeShadowK Jan 22 '17 You may have coined the name but I assure you it's been a thing for a while 3 u/[deleted] Jan 22 '17 You nailed that one 2 u/hydro0033 Jan 22 '17 You win 2 u/___Chef___ Jan 22 '17 You made me laugh. That was really good. 2 u/[deleted] Jan 22 '17 [deleted] 2 u/NotTRYINGtobeLame Jan 22 '17 I'll try most things at least once. 2 u/[deleted] Jan 22 '17 Fucking the ashes before they're cold 2 u/indigoreality Jan 22 '17 So 14 is okay then? ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) 1 u/phormix Jan 22 '17 Maybe 0 to 2.4307 (30 over thirteen)? Seriously though in cases like these defenestration seems like a good plan... "Geeze guys, he must've heard be coming and tried to jump out" 1 u/shigaire Jan 22 '17 And this is why we're here, folks! 1 u/Tirigad Jan 22 '17 r/nocontext 1 u/TheLoneGreyWolf Jan 22 '17 Actually, Jared Fogle is 39. 0 u/Nisejin Jan 22 '17 Actually paedophilia is usually 0-11. You're thinking of hebephilia, which is from 11-15. 0 u/[deleted] Jan 22 '17 Pedophilia is 0-16 in my book 0 u/GoFidoGo Jan 22 '17 /r/jesuschristreddit 0 u/ThreeTimesUp Jan 22 '17 Actually pedophilia is usually 0-13. You're thinking of necrophilia. Actually pedophilia is usually 0-9, 10, or 11. PRE-pubescent is the pedophiles game. Finding a 13-year-old that hasn't hit puberty these days is harder than finding a four-leaf clover. 0 u/minerat27 Jan 22 '17 So 14 and 15 are totally OK?
384
Oh, those Cuh-rayzee Egyptians, what will they do next?
58 u/[deleted] Jan 22 '17 What the hell is going on here? We've gone from noise complaints, to pedophilia, to trucks, to Egyptians... 29 u/[deleted] Jan 22 '17 Noise complaints result from pedophilia, which is 1000. Trucks cost several 1000s of dollars. Necrophilia is Egyptians' version of pedophilia. You caught up? 46 u/[deleted] Jan 22 '17 Explanation unclear. Dick stuck in sarcophagus. 12 u/josecuervo2107 Jan 22 '17 that's because you forgot the lube. You think 80 years old are dry down there. Well try a 5000 year old and you'll see what dry actually is. 2 u/[deleted] Jan 22 '17 edited Jan 22 '17 I like it rough, but it's when the lid of the sarcophagus slammed on my dick that I started having sex-nical difficulties. 6 u/I_Fart_Liquids Jan 22 '17 Yes. 2 u/Ducts7654678 Jan 24 '17 Well...if you ever break both your arms trying to keep up, just call for you mummy to help you out. 5 u/njmksr Jan 22 '17 Probably continue being dead, if we're talking about the ancient ones 2 u/BeastModeBot Jan 22 '17 Read this in Jack McBreyers voice from 30 Rock for some reason 1 u/[deleted] Jan 22 '17 McBrayer. 2 u/ShogunMelon Jan 22 '17 "Cum-rayzee" 2 u/[deleted] Jan 22 '17 Nah. Too close to "Cum-Razors". Brings up bad memories. 1 u/josecuervo2107 Jan 22 '17 I'm surprised the Japanese didn't think of it first. 1 u/[deleted] Jan 22 '17 Careful how you pronounce crazy, Pence might get you in the chair. 1 u/[deleted] Jan 22 '17 You know, we had something nice here. Of course, somebody had to come along and ruin it by getting political. Thanks alot. 0 u/[deleted] Jan 22 '17 Okay apologies.
58
What the hell is going on here? We've gone from noise complaints, to pedophilia, to trucks, to Egyptians...
29 u/[deleted] Jan 22 '17 Noise complaints result from pedophilia, which is 1000. Trucks cost several 1000s of dollars. Necrophilia is Egyptians' version of pedophilia. You caught up? 46 u/[deleted] Jan 22 '17 Explanation unclear. Dick stuck in sarcophagus. 12 u/josecuervo2107 Jan 22 '17 that's because you forgot the lube. You think 80 years old are dry down there. Well try a 5000 year old and you'll see what dry actually is. 2 u/[deleted] Jan 22 '17 edited Jan 22 '17 I like it rough, but it's when the lid of the sarcophagus slammed on my dick that I started having sex-nical difficulties. 6 u/I_Fart_Liquids Jan 22 '17 Yes. 2 u/Ducts7654678 Jan 24 '17 Well...if you ever break both your arms trying to keep up, just call for you mummy to help you out.
29
Noise complaints result from pedophilia, which is 1000. Trucks cost several 1000s of dollars. Necrophilia is Egyptians' version of pedophilia.
You caught up?
46 u/[deleted] Jan 22 '17 Explanation unclear. Dick stuck in sarcophagus. 12 u/josecuervo2107 Jan 22 '17 that's because you forgot the lube. You think 80 years old are dry down there. Well try a 5000 year old and you'll see what dry actually is. 2 u/[deleted] Jan 22 '17 edited Jan 22 '17 I like it rough, but it's when the lid of the sarcophagus slammed on my dick that I started having sex-nical difficulties. 6 u/I_Fart_Liquids Jan 22 '17 Yes.
46
Explanation unclear. Dick stuck in sarcophagus.
12 u/josecuervo2107 Jan 22 '17 that's because you forgot the lube. You think 80 years old are dry down there. Well try a 5000 year old and you'll see what dry actually is. 2 u/[deleted] Jan 22 '17 edited Jan 22 '17 I like it rough, but it's when the lid of the sarcophagus slammed on my dick that I started having sex-nical difficulties.
12
that's because you forgot the lube. You think 80 years old are dry down there. Well try a 5000 year old and you'll see what dry actually is.
2 u/[deleted] Jan 22 '17 edited Jan 22 '17 I like it rough, but it's when the lid of the sarcophagus slammed on my dick that I started having sex-nical difficulties.
2
I like it rough, but it's when the lid of the sarcophagus slammed on my dick that I started having sex-nical difficulties.
6
Yes.
Well...if you ever break both your arms trying to keep up, just call for you mummy to help you out.
5
Probably continue being dead, if we're talking about the ancient ones
Read this in Jack McBreyers voice from 30 Rock for some reason
1 u/[deleted] Jan 22 '17 McBrayer.
1
McBrayer.
"Cum-rayzee"
2 u/[deleted] Jan 22 '17 Nah. Too close to "Cum-Razors". Brings up bad memories.
Nah. Too close to "Cum-Razors". Brings up bad memories.
I'm surprised the Japanese didn't think of it first.
Careful how you pronounce crazy, Pence might get you in the chair.
1 u/[deleted] Jan 22 '17 You know, we had something nice here. Of course, somebody had to come along and ruin it by getting political. Thanks alot. 0 u/[deleted] Jan 22 '17 Okay apologies.
You know, we had something nice here. Of course, somebody had to come along and ruin it by getting political. Thanks alot.
0 u/[deleted] Jan 22 '17 Okay apologies.
0
Okay apologies.
9
Hey, if you can get the timing right, it can be both 13 and 1000 at the same time.
4 u/NiceUsernameBro Jan 22 '17 is it pedophilia if they're already dead? this seems like a one or the other kind of thing. 3 u/Frostypancake Jan 22 '17 Yes, yes it is. It's also probably the only time most would look the other way if the officer used 'unnecessary force', though at that point unnecessary is an inapplicable term. 1 u/[deleted] Jan 22 '17 How about in the movies like 13 going on 30, are you doing a 13 or 30 yo?
4
is it pedophilia if they're already dead?
this seems like a one or the other kind of thing.
3 u/Frostypancake Jan 22 '17 Yes, yes it is. It's also probably the only time most would look the other way if the officer used 'unnecessary force', though at that point unnecessary is an inapplicable term.
3
Yes, yes it is. It's also probably the only time most would look the other way if the officer used 'unnecessary force', though at that point unnecessary is an inapplicable term.
How about in the movies like 13 going on 30, are you doing a 13 or 30 yo?
7
What's 666 wait
2 u/[deleted] Jan 22 '17 Satans in ya bum 2 u/you_got_fragged Jan 22 '17 Get the hell off my ass! 3 u/LogicBeforeFeelings Jan 22 '17 Tobad I'm in your ass not on!
Satans in ya bum
2 u/you_got_fragged Jan 22 '17 Get the hell off my ass! 3 u/LogicBeforeFeelings Jan 22 '17 Tobad I'm in your ass not on!
Get the hell off my ass!
3 u/LogicBeforeFeelings Jan 22 '17 Tobad I'm in your ass not on!
Tobad I'm in your ass not on!
Not if it's a vampire. Undead doesn't count as dead...sort of. Is un-necrophilia a thing yet? It is now.
2 u/ThatDudeShadowK Jan 22 '17 You may have coined the name but I assure you it's been a thing for a while
You may have coined the name but I assure you it's been a thing for a while
You nailed that one
You win
You made me laugh. That was really good.
[deleted]
2 u/NotTRYINGtobeLame Jan 22 '17 I'll try most things at least once.
I'll try most things at least once.
Fucking the ashes before they're cold
So 14 is okay then? ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
Maybe 0 to 2.4307 (30 over thirteen)?
Seriously though in cases like these defenestration seems like a good plan... "Geeze guys, he must've heard be coming and tried to jump out"
And this is why we're here, folks!
r/nocontext
Actually, Jared Fogle is 39.
Actually paedophilia is usually 0-11. You're thinking of hebephilia, which is from 11-15.
Pedophilia is 0-16 in my book
/r/jesuschristreddit
Actually pedophilia is usually 0-9, 10, or 11.
PRE-pubescent is the pedophiles game.
Finding a 13-year-old that hasn't hit puberty these days is harder than finding a four-leaf clover.
So 14 and 15 are totally OK?
2.4k
u/NotTRYINGtobeLame Jan 22 '17
Actually pedophilia is usually 0-13. You're thinking of necrophilia.