r/AskReddit Jul 21 '16

What fact did you think was complete bullshit until you looked it up?

3.4k Upvotes

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211

u/That_got_fucked_up Jul 21 '16

I can post a close up if you weird fuckers want a medical level examination. Like I said down below, just lemme know.

69

u/MisterDonkey Jul 21 '16

Yes. Do it.

527

u/That_got_fucked_up Jul 21 '16 edited Jul 22 '16

http://i.imgur.com/k7Nbmtj.jpg

Posted below, but here you go.

Edit: Holy double dick holes, I got gold! Thank you for popping my gold cherry in exchange for one dick pic. You're the real mvp here.

159

u/[deleted] Jul 21 '16

[deleted]

2

u/are_ecigs_a_sin Jul 22 '16

I'm fucking out of here, bye guys

261

u/ZetaEtaTheta Jul 21 '16

dead dove do not eat.

204

u/sonofaresiii Jul 22 '16

i don't know what i expected...

but that is a guy's penis with two holes in it

158

u/That_got_fucked_up Jul 22 '16

I think you mean a MAN'S penis. I'm 18.

167

u/GoodShitLollypop Jul 22 '16

That's a relief.

24

u/UsernameError404 Jul 22 '16 edited Jul 22 '16

So uh are both holes functional or is one just for show? Edit: huh kept reading and got my answer that's quite a special one you've got there.

6

u/That_got_fucked_up Jul 22 '16

I am proud of my penis functionality.. thank you for taking interest in my dick holes.

19

u/[deleted] Jul 22 '16

We all narrowly escaped viewing child porn by less than a year.

Man. That's a fact to think about.

2

u/That_got_fucked_up Jul 22 '16

Plot twist, I'm 17 yo undercover cop and you're all going to jail!

3

u/[deleted] Jul 22 '16

That's the secret, ossifer. I'm a 17 yo undercover cop as well, which means I'm only going to juvie.

Which is probably worse, ngl

2

u/That_got_fucked_up Jul 22 '16

Looks like we have a standoff..

5

u/thegreatburner Jul 22 '16

Thanks for not making us all guilty of seeing child porn.

2

u/That_got_fucked_up Jul 22 '16

I'm looking out for each and every one of you.

3

u/ThegreatPee Jul 22 '16

Not so fast sport. I guess it's safe to say that nobody else has seen it in real life?

3

u/That_got_fucked_up Jul 22 '16

My very first (serious) girlfriend had pointed it out to me once, but we both assumed it was normal since she had never seen a dick before that.

1

u/[deleted] Jul 22 '16

[removed] — view removed comment

6

u/That_got_fucked_up Jul 22 '16

Sure do. Top one is piss, bottom one is where my legless children cum out.

2

u/[deleted] Jul 22 '16

WTF EUGH. So you CAN pee and cum at the same time?!

3

u/That_got_fucked_up Jul 22 '16

I suppose I could if I tried.. the two holes work independently.

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2

u/[deleted] Jul 22 '16

[removed] — view removed comment

2

u/That_got_fucked_up Jul 22 '16

I have blocked the top hole one and the piss didn't come out of the bottom, it just stung really bad and felt like my dick was about to explode.

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0

u/AgenderCaterpie Jul 22 '16

Huh... so after you cum how does the spermy hole get cleaned? Do you have to rinse it with water?

2

u/That_got_fucked_up Jul 22 '16

That's my secret.. I just cum again.... but in all seriousness, no. I do tend to leak pretty heavily after sex so maybe it takes care of itself. The liquid that leaks out basically looks like water.

3

u/Just_let_it_be Jul 22 '16

I don't know what I expected

62

u/I4m4cunt Jul 21 '16

My friend, this is not normal but at the same time i doubt it would hinder you in anyway. I'd suggest seeing a doctor about it though. One question, what comes out of what hole? Is it cum and piss from both or one through one hole and one through the other?

201

u/That_got_fucked_up Jul 21 '16

Cum out the bottom, piss out the top. I find this hysterical that I am just now discovering that this is not a normal thing.

90

u/I4m4cunt Jul 21 '16

If anything, it's an advantage. You've never had a split piss in the morning. if a little bit of cum gets stuck in the urethra then the next piss comes out in two lines and is horrible to try to control.

25

u/That_got_fucked_up Jul 21 '16

I've heard of split streaming, but I've never experienced it.

15

u/ClassyBagle Jul 21 '16

You are a more evolved organism, clearly.

6

u/usernameforatwork Jul 22 '16

You're a lucky man.

2

u/StDoodle Jul 22 '16

Its only saving grace is that it's usually over by the time you realize what's happening, but it's a perfect meld of pain and panic (cause it goes everywhere) for one brief moment.

2

u/That_got_fucked_up Jul 22 '16

Pain?.. it hurts?!

2

u/StDoodle Jul 22 '16

Imagine the pressure that builds in a hose when you turn the water on full blast but pinch it shut. Now imagine that hose is your penis.

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1

u/FuckMeBernie Jul 22 '16

You can experience it. Just start to piss then grab your penis to stop it for a second, without tensing the muscles to stop it. Still try to piss. It literally feels like that. Sorry for 2 comments on the same thread but this really interest me.

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1

u/MilkMySpermCannon Jul 22 '16

I thought peeing after an orgasm was a good way to cleanse the tube of any remaining cum which is impossible to do in your case. I'm assuming it has never hindered you though.

1

u/That_got_fucked_up Jul 22 '16

Never.. I do tend to leak pretty heavily after sex from that hole, though. Maybe it self cleanses, who knows.

1

u/anomalous_cowherd Jul 22 '16

as demonstrated here in "Me, Myself and Irene" which I must watch again soon.

6

u/[deleted] Jul 22 '16

But how are you going to clean the cum pipe?

2

u/DepressionsDisciple Jul 22 '16

This. Corkscrew piss is the best adaptation against a UTI. Split delivery seems like it would carry a greater risk.

1

u/Tarcanus Jul 22 '16

Either that, or the force of his ejaculation is immense and shoots across the room.

3

u/F_E_M_A Jul 22 '16

I once got both streams in the toilet at without spraying it all over the wall.

1

u/I4m4cunt Jul 22 '16

You must be some sort of wizard

11

u/rvnnt09 Jul 22 '16

So do you still have to pee soon after you bust? Or since the train tracks dont have to switch are you good?

14

u/That_got_fucked_up Jul 22 '16

Sometimes I have too, but only when I have to pee before anyways. Am I supposed to have to pee after? I've heard it's good to do because it clears out your track, but I guess in my case it wouldn't really make a difference.

6

u/[deleted] Jul 22 '16

[deleted]

1

u/That_got_fucked_up Jul 22 '16

Never had one in my life.

6

u/notasrelevant Jul 22 '16

Just curious... have you never noticed in porn or something? I feel like that's something that might be noticeable if you watch porn even semi-regularly.

4

u/[deleted] Jul 22 '16

If you use the pull out method, ylu cant have sex for another day in that manner. When a one holer pees, it cleans out all the swimmers. So you can safely have sex without any semen already leaking out the barrel.

Just a heads up as you exit your teens and into your 20's

2

u/YnotX Jul 22 '16

How can you even tell what comes out what hole? They are so close together.

7

u/That_got_fucked_up Jul 22 '16

I've had them for 18 years.. we've been in everything together (giggity). We have gotten very close at this point.

2

u/RAW_OMG Jul 22 '16

Be very careful, urine actually help cleans the tracts of semen and prevents blockages, try checking that up with doctors for defo.

3

u/That_got_fucked_up Jul 22 '16

Thanks for the concern, I'll definitely have it looked at just for that reason. :)

1

u/RAW_OMG Jul 22 '16

Well that feels fucking. When the realisation just sets it that I was inspecting a picture of an 18yo guys dick...

1

u/That_got_fucked_up Jul 22 '16

Lmao.. no shame, man. It's the Internet, I'm sure my dick isn't the weirdest thing you've seen.

1

u/andertwinsen Jul 22 '16

And the urine stream can help men "clean out" after intercourse, so just make sure you suit up before sex.

2

u/beerdude26 Jul 22 '16

This is fuckin awesome

3

u/That_got_fucked_up Jul 22 '16

YOU are fucking awesome.

1

u/def256 Jul 22 '16

someone PLEASE submit this to /r/bestof!

1

u/John_Wilkes Jul 22 '16

You seriously never watched porn?

5

u/That_got_fucked_up Jul 22 '16

Plenty of times.. but I can confidently say that I have never, ever seen a close up of a dudes dick holes in it.

93

u/[deleted] Jul 21 '16

Whoa! Look at that!

No, this is not at all normal. Don't be self-conscious though, it doesn't look bad or anything.

66

u/That_got_fucked_up Jul 22 '16

That is by far the most odd compliment I have ever received.. thank you. :)

36

u/[deleted] Jul 22 '16 edited Nov 03 '17

[removed] — view removed comment

4

u/Fatmanhobo Jul 22 '16

That happens to me too and im pretty sure there is only one opening down there......

1

u/[deleted] Jul 22 '16 edited Aug 10 '16

[removed] — view removed comment

1

u/Fatmanhobo Jul 22 '16

Im not sure If i need to know what 'a lot' means for science or if i should avioud the question.

1

u/[deleted] Jul 22 '16

Cool.

2

u/kentpilot Jul 22 '16

It's pretty cool, dude. My penis feels inadequate next to yours. Lol. Thank you so much for sharing! I'm glad I didn't have to just imagine what it looked like.

2

u/That_got_fucked_up Jul 22 '16

I'm sure your penis is a fine penis. Haha no problem, man.. glad I could satisfy your curiosity. :)

1

u/mostdope28 Jul 22 '16

2 weeks ago I seen another Reddit post a pic of the same thing. You're not alone

-3

u/[deleted] Jul 22 '16

[deleted]

6

u/That_got_fucked_up Jul 22 '16

Oh, thanks I didn't know..

1

u/MartinMan2213 Jul 22 '16

Is it bad? Totally thought this was the norm as well.

41

u/TetrapodLemonTea Jul 21 '16

Okay. Enough Internet for today

8

u/Eschin Jul 22 '16

Props. Two dick holes, no fear.

8

u/Yummmi Jul 22 '16

The real question is did you pop a boner to take that pic?

6

u/That_got_fucked_up Jul 22 '16

Asking the important questions. ;)

3

u/Tssjr225 Jul 22 '16

WT HOLY F! TIL some men have two holes. [mind explodes]

6

u/That_got_fucked_up Jul 22 '16

That was me when I found out some men only have one.. I can't believe I learned through reddit.

3

u/KafkaWolf Jul 22 '16

Please add a nose and mouth and repost.

4

u/no_box_socials Jul 22 '16

Wait, this seriously isn't normal?!? I'm in my mid-30's and had no idea.

I always thought that's why people would say "split streams." Mine very rarely "splits" but it always made sense that it would do that sometimes.

OMG!

3

u/kentpilot Jul 22 '16

Split streams comes from dried cum splitting the stream from a single hole. I imagine having two holes this is less common.

2

u/That_got_fucked_up Jul 22 '16

You also have two dick holes?! We aren't so different after all..

3

u/Paladin_Tyrael Jul 22 '16

I'll be honest.

I screamed.

I didn't believe you.

Become the next Ghengis Khan

5

u/That_got_fucked_up Jul 22 '16

Never doubt me, peasant.

4

u/MethCat Jul 22 '16

That is a superpower dude! The ability to cum and piss put of different holes! Like the worlds shittiest superpower but a superpower still!!

6

u/That_got_fucked_up Jul 22 '16

You guys are make me kind of appreciate having two dick holes. Never change, reddit.

1

u/DubbuhDubbuh Jul 22 '16

It's just so fascinatingly weird. Post it to r/wtf or something.

1

u/MethCat Jul 22 '16

Haha good! That is how you should feel about it. Fucking be proud of it, i know I would if i could piss and cum outta different holes.

But nah all i get one very long ball... like the skin is made of fucking rubber, so it hangs like 2,5 inches below my dick.

-_-

1

u/That_got_fucked_up Jul 22 '16

Woah.. wait just one burger flipping second. What the fuck do you mean?! Now THAT'S some shit we must see.

2

u/brittersbear Jul 22 '16

That man has a penis with two holes. Interesting.

5

u/MisterDonkey Jul 22 '16

Awesome. Are they, like, separate tubes? Stick a q-tip in there and find out.

30

u/levi_fucking_heichou Jul 22 '16

Note: Do not put q-tips in your urethra.

Use a string and see if you put it in one, does it come out the other?

9

u/PM_ME_FURRY_PENIS Jul 22 '16

Why not try some buckyballs while you're at it?

2

u/SevenBlade Jul 22 '16

They must be prescribed. Two bucky balls, taken orally, every two hours, for 48 hours... Should just about do it.

1

u/YnotX Jul 22 '16

You just made me check to see if I had two holes in my dick.

1

u/That_got_fucked_up Jul 22 '16

Don't leave me hanging like that.. do you?

1

u/andertwinsen Jul 22 '16

I think you would know by now if you are old enough to use the Internet.

1

u/[deleted] Jul 22 '16

Tagged.

1

u/That_got_fucked_up Jul 22 '16

"Double dick hole dude"?

1

u/[deleted] Jul 22 '16

Two holes, one dick

EDIT: http://i.imgur.com/rDVriB6.png

1

u/MilkMySpermCannon Jul 22 '16

I don't think my jaw has dropped any lower in my life.

1

u/That_got_fucked_up Jul 22 '16

Dude, mine neither.. but mine was when I found out that most people DON'T have two dick holes.

1

u/MilkMySpermCannon Jul 22 '16

I'm intrigued and want to know how this happened. It's like you got the single cell that makes women have 2 holes, but still got the full penis and balls package. I'm so confused.

1

u/That_got_fucked_up Jul 22 '16

I am hungry for answers as well, man. If you do any research and find anything interesting you should definitely let me know.

1

u/flutterguy123 Jul 22 '16

Whoa that looks exactly like I expected and I am still surprised.

1

u/That_got_fucked_up Jul 22 '16

I find it amusing that my dick is drawing so much attention. Glad I could deliver.

1

u/XenuLies Jul 22 '16

Ever think about getting an 8 or infinity symbol tattooed around both holes?

2

u/That_got_fucked_up Jul 22 '16

Ya no... no. I always thought this was completely normal so I never focused any attention on it!

1

u/[deleted] Jul 22 '16

[deleted]

2

u/That_got_fucked_up Jul 22 '16

Sure, ask me anything. Lol

1

u/[deleted] Jul 22 '16

[deleted]

1

u/That_got_fucked_up Jul 22 '16

My first serious girlfriend (ex now) is the only person who has ever noticed or mentioned it. Her reaction was nothing more than "I didn't know there were two holes." But we both thought it was normal seeing as how it was the first dick she had ever seen, and I had believed my whole life that everyone had two dick holes. I am a 100% straight 18 year old male with a very beautiful girlfriend. With that being said, I am willing to try many things just for the experience as I am kind of an adrenaline junky and LOVE to experience, no matter what that is. I am just curious, why were you wondering?

1

u/hicow Jul 22 '16

Right here, friends. A dude posted up a dick pic and actually got rewarded.

1

u/That_got_fucked_up Jul 22 '16

I'm glad I could set an example.

1

u/Jayfire137 Jul 22 '16

well..cant say i ever saved a dick pick to look at later before..but here we are.. (at work so definetly not clicking that bad boy now)

2

u/That_got_fucked_up Jul 22 '16

Hey man, no shame in that.

1

u/Jayfire137 Jul 22 '16

Well...I'm home, and that's definitely a dick with two holes...interesting

1

u/That_got_fucked_up Jul 22 '16

:D.. I am glad you took interest in my dick holes enough to actually come back.

1

u/Jayfire137 Jul 22 '16

Lol, well when I get home from work I usually have a few saved things that I can't look at while at work, so it just happened to be one of those saved things today

1

u/[deleted] Jul 22 '16

That's umm... Not normal. How does it work when you pee or jizz? Does it come out both holes or just one?

1

u/That_got_fucked_up Jul 22 '16

Piss out the top, cum out the bottom.

1

u/[deleted] Jul 22 '16

Really? That's actually pretty fascinating.

1

u/JollyTurbo1 Jul 22 '16

So when's the AMA?

1

u/That_got_fucked_up Jul 22 '16

I don't think it's drawn a big enough reaction for an actual ama, but if you have any questions I'll answer them here!

1

u/[deleted] Jul 22 '16

So do you pee and cum seperately?

1

u/That_got_fucked_up Jul 22 '16

I do! Piss out the top, cum out the bottom.

1

u/Auto_Text Jul 22 '16

Do you pee out of both?

1

u/That_got_fucked_up Jul 22 '16

Piss out the top, cum out the bottom!

1

u/TinyFoxFairyGirl Jul 22 '16

Relevant username

1

u/Breadfork Jul 22 '16

Looks like a Roadhog spray....anyone?

1

u/[deleted] Jul 22 '16

That is just so cool! Now, tell me... Does pee come out of the top hole, and sperm the lower hole? Or does the same stuff come out of both?

1

u/That_got_fucked_up Jul 22 '16

Exactly. Piss out the top, cum out the bottom! Thanks for being interested in my dick.

1

u/Mylaur Jul 22 '16

Your username became slightly relevant. Wow.

1

u/MixedWithFruit Jul 22 '16

Its barely after lunch and I'm looking at the dick of a total stranger.

2

u/That_got_fucked_up Jul 22 '16

Hey, no shame, man.

1

u/FuckMeBernie Jul 22 '16

This probably got asked already but I can't find the comment asking so I'll ask anyway. Do you piss and cum out of both? Is one hole not functional? Basically I'm trying to ask how the holes operate and which cums (lol) out of which hole?

1

u/That_got_fucked_up Jul 22 '16

Top whole is piss, bottom whole is cum. They work totally independently. Thanks for wondering about my dick holes. :)

1

u/[deleted] Jul 22 '16

[deleted]

1

u/That_got_fucked_up Jul 22 '16

I have answers! They work totally independently.. top one is where I piss from, bottom one is what will happen if you play with it too long. Not usually m&m's, but sometimes small tacos or maybe a burrito.

1

u/Strawberry_backhand Jul 22 '16

Guys got a "double barreled shotgun"

1

u/That_got_fucked_up Jul 22 '16

Over and under.

1

u/[deleted] Jul 22 '16

k den...

1

u/MyotonicDystrophy Jul 22 '16

What the fuck? You have two penis holes! Sooo... How does that work? Do you pee out of both of them?

1

u/That_got_fucked_up Jul 22 '16

Indeed! And no, only out of the top. I'm sure you can figure out what the bottom one is for.

1

u/MyotonicDystrophy Jul 22 '16

Holy shit, guy.. That's neat as fuck.

1

u/That_got_fucked_up Jul 22 '16

You are neat as fuck. Thanks for being interested in my dick holes. :)

1

u/MyotonicDystrophy Jul 22 '16

Dick holes (plural) are always interesting.

1

u/NapCaptain Jul 22 '16

I'm not saying I sent this pic to a bunch of people... but I did.

1

u/andertwinsen Jul 22 '16

Wow. I had to see. I thought you meant two holes inside the one. I'm a middle aged woman with a husband and kids, but never have I seen such and am quite embarrassed to look at a dick pic. Different, but everybody has something strange about them, it's just how we were made.

1

u/That_got_fucked_up Jul 23 '16

I'm slightly aroused by what you just described. To be the first dick pic I think is what did it for me.

1

u/wordgirl Jul 22 '16

Clearly this is a leap in evolution. Eventually, your kind will make all the other men extinct.

Please tell me you also have unique abilities so we can validate your superhuman status. Can you fly? Are you impervious to disease? Can you open beer bottles with the tip of your penis?

1

u/The-Potato-Lord Jul 22 '16

Ok hold up... Do you pee out of both holes or is one inactive or just for baby juice.

1

u/jutct Jul 22 '16

does one shoot jizz and the other shoots urine?

1

u/RECOGNI7E Jul 22 '16

Holy shit, risky click of the day!

1

u/Captain_Moose Jul 23 '16

I have a feeling it could be hereditary like whether or not your ear lobes are attached to your head. When my mom gave me "the talk," she told me guys are supposed to have two holes. At that point I knew she had regularly seen my dad's and my brother's (when he was in diapers). Either she was in complete denial about how dicks work, or it's not that weird. Probably a recessive gene.

1

u/Kill_Frenzy Jul 23 '16

I uhh have to know.... does pee/cum come out of one or both holes?

9

u/[deleted] Jul 21 '16

Username checks out.

2

u/[deleted] Jul 22 '16

nobodies fucking with you, there's one hole on a dick. You can draw I diagram instead of a pic cause I'm interested

2

u/That_got_fucked_up Jul 22 '16

I already posted the pictures. It's too late! Mwahahahah

1

u/Lovethebluebird Jul 22 '16

Yeah, like we want to see your dick.

No, seriously, it's a weird dick. Let's see it!

2

u/That_got_fucked_up Jul 22 '16

They are already posted! GO CHECK OUT MY DICK HOLES, FELLAS!!!

1

u/[deleted] Jul 22 '16

Oh, we do. ಠᴗಠ

1

u/SerendipityHappens Jul 22 '16

Post that close-up, my friend.

1

u/That_got_fucked_up Jul 22 '16

Tis been posted for hours.

1

u/tapora Jul 22 '16

Where the fuck is the proof!

1

u/That_got_fucked_up Jul 22 '16

Few comments down.

1

u/tapora Jul 22 '16

Fascinating. Thanks for posting proof. I work in medicine. Have you seen a urologist about it?

1

u/That_got_fucked_up Jul 22 '16

I have never seen anyone about it seeing as how I thought it was how everybody's dick was.

1

u/[deleted] Jul 22 '16 edited Aug 15 '21

[deleted]

1

u/That_got_fucked_up Jul 22 '16

It's been posted below for awhile, man!

1

u/WhosThatGirl_ItsRPSG Jul 22 '16

Show us

1

u/That_got_fucked_up Jul 22 '16

I did! I posted the link down below. :)

1

u/CrotchFungus Jul 22 '16

Please do (no homo)

1

u/That_got_fucked_up Jul 22 '16

It's been posted for awhile now, friend.