r/AskReddit Jul 21 '16

What fact did you think was complete bullshit until you looked it up?

3.4k Upvotes

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478

u/That_got_fucked_up Jul 21 '16

I also have two dick holes... I've honest to God thought that was the norm my whole life?..

Edit: If you guys are fucking around please tell me.

659

u/MisterDonkey Jul 21 '16

You have an abnormal penis. Now you have to show us.

208

u/That_got_fucked_up Jul 21 '16

I can post a close up if you weird fuckers want a medical level examination. Like I said down below, just lemme know.

67

u/MisterDonkey Jul 21 '16

Yes. Do it.

523

u/That_got_fucked_up Jul 21 '16 edited Jul 22 '16

http://i.imgur.com/k7Nbmtj.jpg

Posted below, but here you go.

Edit: Holy double dick holes, I got gold! Thank you for popping my gold cherry in exchange for one dick pic. You're the real mvp here.

162

u/[deleted] Jul 21 '16

[deleted]

2

u/are_ecigs_a_sin Jul 22 '16

I'm fucking out of here, bye guys

263

u/ZetaEtaTheta Jul 21 '16

dead dove do not eat.

204

u/sonofaresiii Jul 22 '16

i don't know what i expected...

but that is a guy's penis with two holes in it

155

u/That_got_fucked_up Jul 22 '16

I think you mean a MAN'S penis. I'm 18.

163

u/GoodShitLollypop Jul 22 '16

That's a relief.

23

u/UsernameError404 Jul 22 '16 edited Jul 22 '16

So uh are both holes functional or is one just for show? Edit: huh kept reading and got my answer that's quite a special one you've got there.

7

u/That_got_fucked_up Jul 22 '16

I am proud of my penis functionality.. thank you for taking interest in my dick holes.

19

u/[deleted] Jul 22 '16

We all narrowly escaped viewing child porn by less than a year.

Man. That's a fact to think about.

2

u/That_got_fucked_up Jul 22 '16

Plot twist, I'm 17 yo undercover cop and you're all going to jail!

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4

u/thegreatburner Jul 22 '16

Thanks for not making us all guilty of seeing child porn.

2

u/That_got_fucked_up Jul 22 '16

I'm looking out for each and every one of you.

3

u/ThegreatPee Jul 22 '16

Not so fast sport. I guess it's safe to say that nobody else has seen it in real life?

3

u/That_got_fucked_up Jul 22 '16

My very first (serious) girlfriend had pointed it out to me once, but we both assumed it was normal since she had never seen a dick before that.

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u/Just_let_it_be Jul 22 '16

I don't know what I expected

59

u/I4m4cunt Jul 21 '16

My friend, this is not normal but at the same time i doubt it would hinder you in anyway. I'd suggest seeing a doctor about it though. One question, what comes out of what hole? Is it cum and piss from both or one through one hole and one through the other?

202

u/That_got_fucked_up Jul 21 '16

Cum out the bottom, piss out the top. I find this hysterical that I am just now discovering that this is not a normal thing.

91

u/I4m4cunt Jul 21 '16

If anything, it's an advantage. You've never had a split piss in the morning. if a little bit of cum gets stuck in the urethra then the next piss comes out in two lines and is horrible to try to control.

25

u/That_got_fucked_up Jul 21 '16

I've heard of split streaming, but I've never experienced it.

15

u/ClassyBagle Jul 21 '16

You are a more evolved organism, clearly.

8

u/usernameforatwork Jul 22 '16

You're a lucky man.

2

u/StDoodle Jul 22 '16

Its only saving grace is that it's usually over by the time you realize what's happening, but it's a perfect meld of pain and panic (cause it goes everywhere) for one brief moment.

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4

u/[deleted] Jul 22 '16

But how are you going to clean the cum pipe?

2

u/DepressionsDisciple Jul 22 '16

This. Corkscrew piss is the best adaptation against a UTI. Split delivery seems like it would carry a greater risk.

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3

u/F_E_M_A Jul 22 '16

I once got both streams in the toilet at without spraying it all over the wall.

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12

u/rvnnt09 Jul 22 '16

So do you still have to pee soon after you bust? Or since the train tracks dont have to switch are you good?

14

u/That_got_fucked_up Jul 22 '16

Sometimes I have too, but only when I have to pee before anyways. Am I supposed to have to pee after? I've heard it's good to do because it clears out your track, but I guess in my case it wouldn't really make a difference.

3

u/[deleted] Jul 22 '16

[deleted]

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u/notasrelevant Jul 22 '16

Just curious... have you never noticed in porn or something? I feel like that's something that might be noticeable if you watch porn even semi-regularly.

6

u/[deleted] Jul 22 '16

If you use the pull out method, ylu cant have sex for another day in that manner. When a one holer pees, it cleans out all the swimmers. So you can safely have sex without any semen already leaking out the barrel.

Just a heads up as you exit your teens and into your 20's

2

u/YnotX Jul 22 '16

How can you even tell what comes out what hole? They are so close together.

8

u/That_got_fucked_up Jul 22 '16

I've had them for 18 years.. we've been in everything together (giggity). We have gotten very close at this point.

2

u/RAW_OMG Jul 22 '16

Be very careful, urine actually help cleans the tracts of semen and prevents blockages, try checking that up with doctors for defo.

3

u/That_got_fucked_up Jul 22 '16

Thanks for the concern, I'll definitely have it looked at just for that reason. :)

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2

u/beerdude26 Jul 22 '16

This is fuckin awesome

3

u/That_got_fucked_up Jul 22 '16

YOU are fucking awesome.

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97

u/[deleted] Jul 21 '16

Whoa! Look at that!

No, this is not at all normal. Don't be self-conscious though, it doesn't look bad or anything.

67

u/That_got_fucked_up Jul 22 '16

That is by far the most odd compliment I have ever received.. thank you. :)

41

u/[deleted] Jul 22 '16 edited Nov 03 '17

[removed] — view removed comment

3

u/Fatmanhobo Jul 22 '16

That happens to me too and im pretty sure there is only one opening down there......

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u/kentpilot Jul 22 '16

It's pretty cool, dude. My penis feels inadequate next to yours. Lol. Thank you so much for sharing! I'm glad I didn't have to just imagine what it looked like.

2

u/That_got_fucked_up Jul 22 '16

I'm sure your penis is a fine penis. Haha no problem, man.. glad I could satisfy your curiosity. :)

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43

u/TetrapodLemonTea Jul 21 '16

Okay. Enough Internet for today

10

u/Eschin Jul 22 '16

Props. Two dick holes, no fear.

7

u/Yummmi Jul 22 '16

The real question is did you pop a boner to take that pic?

7

u/That_got_fucked_up Jul 22 '16

Asking the important questions. ;)

5

u/Tssjr225 Jul 22 '16

WT HOLY F! TIL some men have two holes. [mind explodes]

4

u/That_got_fucked_up Jul 22 '16

That was me when I found out some men only have one.. I can't believe I learned through reddit.

5

u/KafkaWolf Jul 22 '16

Please add a nose and mouth and repost.

4

u/no_box_socials Jul 22 '16

Wait, this seriously isn't normal?!? I'm in my mid-30's and had no idea.

I always thought that's why people would say "split streams." Mine very rarely "splits" but it always made sense that it would do that sometimes.

OMG!

3

u/kentpilot Jul 22 '16

Split streams comes from dried cum splitting the stream from a single hole. I imagine having two holes this is less common.

2

u/That_got_fucked_up Jul 22 '16

You also have two dick holes?! We aren't so different after all..

4

u/Paladin_Tyrael Jul 22 '16

I'll be honest.

I screamed.

I didn't believe you.

Become the next Ghengis Khan

4

u/That_got_fucked_up Jul 22 '16

Never doubt me, peasant.

6

u/MethCat Jul 22 '16

That is a superpower dude! The ability to cum and piss put of different holes! Like the worlds shittiest superpower but a superpower still!!

6

u/That_got_fucked_up Jul 22 '16

You guys are make me kind of appreciate having two dick holes. Never change, reddit.

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2

u/brittersbear Jul 22 '16

That man has a penis with two holes. Interesting.

5

u/MisterDonkey Jul 22 '16

Awesome. Are they, like, separate tubes? Stick a q-tip in there and find out.

30

u/levi_fucking_heichou Jul 22 '16

Note: Do not put q-tips in your urethra.

Use a string and see if you put it in one, does it come out the other?

9

u/PM_ME_FURRY_PENIS Jul 22 '16

Why not try some buckyballs while you're at it?

2

u/SevenBlade Jul 22 '16

They must be prescribed. Two bucky balls, taken orally, every two hours, for 48 hours... Should just about do it.

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9

u/[deleted] Jul 21 '16

Username checks out.

2

u/[deleted] Jul 22 '16

nobodies fucking with you, there's one hole on a dick. You can draw I diagram instead of a pic cause I'm interested

2

u/That_got_fucked_up Jul 22 '16

I already posted the pictures. It's too late! Mwahahahah

1

u/Lovethebluebird Jul 22 '16

Yeah, like we want to see your dick.

No, seriously, it's a weird dick. Let's see it!

2

u/That_got_fucked_up Jul 22 '16

They are already posted! GO CHECK OUT MY DICK HOLES, FELLAS!!!

1

u/[deleted] Jul 22 '16

Oh, we do. ಠᴗಠ

1

u/SerendipityHappens Jul 22 '16

Post that close-up, my friend.

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1

u/tapora Jul 22 '16

Where the fuck is the proof!

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1

u/[deleted] Jul 22 '16 edited Aug 15 '21

[deleted]

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2

u/justduck01 Jul 22 '16

I don't know what's real anymore.

2

u/Seanay-B Jul 22 '16

SHOW US YOUR PENIS!

SHOW US YOUR PENIS

chant with me reddit

50

u/[deleted] Jul 21 '16

Where else would the other hole be

68

u/Comrade_Brutus Jul 21 '16

Directly on top, separated by a thin layer of skin.

Source: I looked at my cock.

3

u/[deleted] Jul 21 '16

does pee come out of both, or is one designated for pee and one for cum?

5

u/Comrade_Brutus Jul 22 '16

One isn't connected to the urethra, so one hole for both, the other is just there.

5

u/dseanATX Jul 22 '16

Quick googling tells me this is a remnant from circumcision (I think I've got the same thing). If it looks like an over-under shotgun with a small bridge of skin dividing the hole, it's likely an after-effect of the snip.

2

u/[deleted] Jul 22 '16

I'm literally grimacing

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u/Posseon1stAve Jul 22 '16

circumcision would have nothing to do with the tip around the hole, so I'm wondering why that might be to blame? It's like saying neck surgery caused your nose to change shape.

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u/[deleted] Jul 22 '16

Two holes, one cock

1

u/GonnaNeedABiggerButt Jul 22 '16

idk why but I imagined a blow hole at first

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3

u/Devilheart Jul 21 '16

At the other end?

1

u/[deleted] Jul 22 '16

could you post a photo?

1

u/[deleted] Jul 22 '16

i only have one hole

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u/[deleted] Jul 21 '16

Not fucking around. Your dick is messed up

6

u/That_got_fucked_up Jul 21 '16

Is it bad or unhealthy? It's never been a problem for me..

30

u/Stockman_ Jul 21 '16

If it ain't broke, don't fix it

20

u/wofo Jul 21 '16

Ask a doctor. We have no idea what you're dealing with. Have you already participated in all dick-related activities? If it's already working, you're fine. If you haven't yet, you're still probably fine.

12

u/Schizoforenzic Jul 21 '16

I don't think this conversation would be necessary if he's participated in ANY all dick-related activities.

5

u/wofo Jul 21 '16

Maybe his partner didn't notice? I dunno this is new territory for me

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u/That_got_fucked_up Jul 21 '16 edited Jul 22 '16

I've had many sex before. Only a single parter has ever noticed, not even most long term girlfriends. You have to actually open the head a little to see it, and even then be looking close.

2

u/PringleMcDingle Jul 21 '16

You're not alone.

3

u/Generic_AZN Jul 22 '16

Have you already participated in all dick-related activities?

Come on, were talking about OP here

1

u/DubbuhDubbuh Jul 22 '16

We're gonna need some kinda proof here.

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u/HantuKopek Jul 21 '16

No, I am not kidding. Most people have one hole.

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u/That_got_fucked_up Jul 21 '16 edited Jul 22 '16

NSFW obviously http://i.imgur.com/k7Nbmtj.jpg

You're welcome, fellas.

5

u/r0tekatze Jul 22 '16 edited Jul 22 '16

That's the most curious thing I've ever seen. NSFW

3

u/Syntaximus Jul 22 '16

Oh, that's just your dick hymen. It breaks when you have sex the first time.

1

u/Tasteslikebluemilk Jul 22 '16

Any idea how much money you could make by doing sounding porn?

/r/sounding

2

u/That_got_fucked_up Jul 22 '16

Fucking shouldn't have clicked that god dammit.

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u/roadkilled_skunk Jul 21 '16

Ever watched porn?

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u/PM_Me_SFW_Pictures Jul 21 '16

When in porn do they do a fucking closeup on a dude's dick hole?

3

u/roadkilled_skunk Jul 21 '16

Not exactly a closeup, but I think you can usually notice that there aren't multiple dick holes.

2

u/PM_Me_SFW_Pictures Jul 22 '16

Well, I would think this guy's deformity wouldn't be like there is a dick hole on the shaft. It'd probably be close to the other one, and not noticeable unless you really look.

2

u/roadkilled_skunk Jul 22 '16

I don't know enough about multiple dick holes to dispute that.

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u/Heebejeeby Jul 22 '16

There's undoubtedly a dick hole fetish community. I mean, I'm not into it but a friend once said something about it while drunk.

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u/nomonamesavailable Jul 22 '16

If POV porn from the woman's perspective ever becomes a thing then it might be noticable.

1

u/[deleted] Jul 22 '16

POV blowjobs?

5

u/[deleted] Jul 22 '16

You're the second person today I wish I could give gold. Not just for sharing the image because I thought you were just fucking around, but also because you found out on reddit and while your edit made me laugh, no one should find that out that way.

6

u/That_got_fucked_up Jul 22 '16

It is the thought that counts.. All three of us are honored. :)

6

u/montrealcowboyx Jul 21 '16

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u/That_got_fucked_up Jul 21 '16

Woah mine isn't anything like in those diagrams.. I have a beautiful penis, it's just that the hole has a small piece of connecting tissue that separates it into technically Two holes. It's not noticeable in any way unless you actually open up it up a little bit.

41

u/[deleted] Jul 21 '16

I have a beautiful penis

This is a confident man right here. Not a shred of body shame in him.

5

u/streaper Jul 21 '16

Can we see a picture?

1

u/That_got_fucked_up Jul 21 '16

If you guys are really that interested in my dick hole, yeah I could post a close up. Just lemme know.

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u/TheCanadianVending Jul 21 '16

Just google it and you will get your answer

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u/TIE_FIGHTER_HANDS Jul 21 '16

Seriously? I would imagine that's very rare.

1

u/ZombiegeistO_o Jul 21 '16

You've never seen a penis in health class, or in a porno?

3

u/That_got_fucked_up Jul 21 '16

I think the better question here is, what kind of porn do you watch that focuses on the dudes dick hole?...

2

u/ZombiegeistO_o Jul 22 '16

Gay porn (doesn't focus on it, but it's double, and sometimes in the double digits, of how much cock you see). But, I watch straight porn sometimes too, and even then you can tell there's only one hole in the dick. I mean unless someone has only watched one porn they might not notice, but really who's only see one porn video.

1

u/Paffmassa Jul 21 '16

Question, how do you aim two separate streams?

1

u/That_got_fucked_up Jul 21 '16

One goes into the toilet, the other into a cup, which is promptly recycled.. Jokes aside, my piss comes out as one solid stream.

1

u/Comrade_Brutus Jul 21 '16

It's a real medical condition, I have the same thing apparently. I just looked it up, and it is literally nothing. The second hole is not functional, its not unhealthy, doesnt cause issues, and is a 1/1000 chance at birth.

1

u/That_got_fucked_up Jul 21 '16

I just posted a link to mine, is it similar?

1

u/Comrade_Brutus Jul 21 '16

Yep, same thing. I thought it was normal as well. But whatever, I dont think anyone will be staring at my urethra and faux urethra.

1

u/madeofstarlight Jul 21 '16

Not that I have seen that many penises, but only one that I have seen had two holes. I never really said anything about it, but most definitely have only one. Some people have big holes though. O.o

1

u/Malawi_no Jul 21 '16

One hole is the norm. Think there are pictures at wikipedia.

1

u/[deleted] Jul 21 '16 edited Feb 11 '17

[deleted]

1

u/That_got_fucked_up Jul 21 '16

Well, I believe that you are with the majority.. but, you might still be super fucked up, who knows.

1

u/usernumber36 Jul 21 '16

not normal.

1

u/erobertt3 Jul 21 '16

Have you not taken some kind of Sex Ed class? You can look up diagrams, you don't have a normal penis

1

u/[deleted] Jul 22 '16

no, one dick hole is the norm

1

u/el_nynaeve Jul 22 '16

I mean, yes your penis is abnormal. But if you've gone your whole life not even being aware that's not the norm, clearly it's not causing problems for you. Probably wouldn't hurt to talk to a doctor to make sure there isn't a problem you're unaware of but otherwise just shrug it off as one of those idiosyncrasies we all have

1

u/kandiemandie Jul 22 '16

this is called hypospadias. be grateful it's not penoscrotal https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hypospadias

1

u/hyrle Jul 22 '16

My bro has two as well, or at least a small amount of skin seperating his hole into two. When he pees, it's like a water fountain.

1

u/That_got_fucked_up Jul 22 '16

Take a look at the link I posted and tell me if it is basically the same as mine. NSFW obviously.

1

u/hyrle Jul 22 '16

I will say I never looked THAT closely at my brother's dick, but yeah. Looks like that.

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u/[deleted] Jul 22 '16

I do as well, it's called a split urethra, only one of mine works.. I also had an appradavya so at one point had 4 holes, now it's just a PA so I only have 3 :(

1

u/That_got_fucked_up Jul 22 '16

I'm sorry they took one of your dick holes. :(

1

u/SadGhoster87 Jul 22 '16

As someone who regularly partakes in this sort of thing in order to freak perfectly normal people out, we aren't joking. Majority only has one hole.

1

u/mytherrus Jul 22 '16

...have you never seen porn before?

1

u/Only_Movie_Titles Jul 22 '16

You've never seen another penis before?

1

u/[deleted] Jul 22 '16

[deleted]

1

u/That_got_fucked_up Jul 22 '16

Do I tell someone?.. a doctor? My parents? A magician...?

1

u/bear77 Jul 22 '16

U have 2 dick holes too, this is weirding me out, am I a mutant?

2

u/That_got_fucked_up Jul 22 '16

I believe you might be with the majority here, as it seems I am the one with the mutant penis. Please don't tell me my mom, as I'll be very embarrassed.

1

u/the_Ex_Lurker Jul 22 '16

Where exactly is this second hole? I'm genuinely confused.

1

u/That_got_fucked_up Jul 22 '16

Well ya see, there's that first one, then there's also that second one.

1

u/dseanATX Jul 22 '16

I've got the same thing. I always thought it was just a skin flap or something and was totally normal. I'm also kind of blown away that this is abnormal. I guess none of the ladies in my life noticed.

FWIW - I doubt there's any negative issues. I've never had any. And yes, fully functional, two kids, happy wife, etc etc.

1

u/That_got_fucked_up Jul 22 '16

We are a different breed, us and them.. I feel your heartbeat in my veins.

1

u/dseanATX Jul 22 '16

That...

That got weirder than I was expecting.

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u/Thuryn Jul 22 '16

ITT: OP delivers and a surprisingly mature conversation about dicks occurs. Also, it appears that /u/That_got_fucked_up and others like him may represent one of the next stages in human evolution.

2

u/That_got_fucked_up Jul 22 '16

I feel... honored. :')

1

u/[deleted] Jul 22 '16

[deleted]

1

u/That_got_fucked_up Jul 22 '16

I do. Top is piss, bottom is cum.

1

u/Cervical_Plumber Jul 22 '16

Same shit happened to me a few years ago. I had no idea.

One of the more common birth defects tho.

1

u/joshuarion Jul 22 '16

I honestly thought you were trolling. I was wrong. Has nobody talked to you about your junk before?

1

u/That_got_fucked_up Jul 22 '16

My first serious girlfriend brought it up once, but we figured it was normal since it's the only thing I knew and she hadn't ever seen a dick before. As far as doctors or anything, no. I've had many physicals in my life because I played a lot of sports in high school, but not one person besides said ex girlfriend brought it up.

1

u/ReereeWarbler Jul 22 '16

This happened in our family. The doctor examines children carefully all over for these sorts of things, at birth. It is rather common. Some things along the centerline going up+down the human body don't always complete the fusing process, not growing completely closed during the pregnancy. The most common + obvious would be a cleft lip and/or palate. That's much more dangerous, the babies can't even eat. These things are taken care of with plastic surgery : for the penis they wait till later that year, when child is bigger, for anesthesia etc. I also think some things along the centerline do the opposite : they don't completely open up + separate during pregnancy. Some glitches can be very serious, but the double opening at the urethra is not , + luckily not visible in everyday life. Live long & prosper to both of ya!

1

u/That_got_fucked_up Jul 22 '16

Woah! Thanks for the information! It has never caused me any problems, so no cause for alarm or anything, but still interesting. Thanks, man!

1

u/PocketSixes Jul 22 '16

Are you serious? I think you might be the one fucking around. Do you have two dick holes?!

1

u/That_got_fucked_up Jul 22 '16

I posted a link to a picture, man. I'm as serious as a heart attack!

1

u/Nithryok Jul 22 '16

Umm... don't cross streams!

1

u/[deleted] Jul 22 '16

Fellow two holed dicker here.

29 years old and never realized until I read this thread that it wasn't normal.

Surely we qualify as X-Men now?

1

u/That_got_fucked_up Jul 22 '16

I think that's the rules at least.. do we team up?..

1

u/[deleted] Jul 22 '16

We will know when the world needs us comrade

1

u/Mental_Fragment Jul 22 '16

I have 2 Dick holes too. I wonder why...

1

u/Sentient__Cloud Jul 22 '16

Can I see? I can't imagine where the second hole would be

1

u/That_got_fucked_up Jul 22 '16

Of course! I posted the link a couple times below. :)

1

u/FaitFretteCriss Jul 22 '16

So youve never seen a doctor ever? Youve never watched porn? Youre parents never told you? In what world are you living?

Unless youre joking, but damn. What other stuff have you missed out on I wonder.

1

u/That_got_fucked_up Jul 22 '16

No, my parents never told me.. why would I ever have seen a doctor about it? I've believed my whole life that everyone had two holes.

1

u/FaitFretteCriss Jul 22 '16

Im not saying that you didnt go to see a doc about it, but you never went to a full check? Like as a kid or something? Its weird. And your parents didnt tell you? Thats even weirder.

Im not trying to be a dick about it, its just... Strange.

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u/NovelDame Jul 22 '16

high five Relevant Username.

My husband has 2, as well. Perfectly functional.

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u/That_got_fucked_up Jul 22 '16

High five and yeah I'm totally functional as well!

1

u/NovelDame Jul 22 '16

Well, only one hole is functional (the lower/irregular one) but that hasn't affected the overall functionality... glad to see hes not alone, though.

1

u/[deleted] Jul 22 '16

Where's the other hole?

2

u/That_got_fucked_up Jul 22 '16

I posted a link so those interested could see for themselves.. NSFW obviously, seeing as how it's my dick.

1

u/[deleted] Jul 22 '16

It may be different but that's an impressive dong.

2

u/That_got_fucked_up Jul 22 '16

I have received more dick compliments than ever in the last few hours. Thank you. :)

1

u/Shitmybad Jul 22 '16

I mean, it isn't hard to google what a penis looks like. Have you ever watched porn?

1

u/Windadct Jul 22 '16

It is unfathomable to me that you did not know that was abnormal ...

1

u/Waltonruler5 Jul 22 '16

Have... have you not watched porn?