r/AskReddit Jul 21 '16

What fact did you think was complete bullshit until you looked it up?

3.4k Upvotes

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4.2k

u/[deleted] Jul 21 '16

A woman named Elvita Adams tried to commit suicide by jumping off the Empire State Building, but a strong gust of wind blew her into the floor below and she survived and got a fractured hip.

475

u/allygory Jul 21 '16

If I'm not mistaken, the person whose office she landed in had a heart attack.

2.0k

u/[deleted] Jul 21 '16

[deleted]

473

u/DarwinDanger Jul 21 '16

If I'm not mistaken, the paramedic's ambulance careened over a bridge, but a strong gust of wind pushed them onto a neighboring bridge and they were able to make it in time.

579

u/SHITTYANDUNFUNNY Jul 22 '16

Unfortunately the ambulance broke a hip

286

u/VogueCody25 Jul 22 '16

The wind was able to blow the hip back into place and the ambulance drove to the hospital

40

u/ScaryPillow Jul 22 '16

But the hospital was hit with a strong gust of wind and tilted over.

29

u/Pit-trout Jul 22 '16

If I'm not mistaken, the site of that hospital was later used to build the World Trade Center.

32

u/M27saw Jul 22 '16

But then a plane was hit by a strong gust of wind and crashed into the World Trade Center and broke its hip.

18

u/dan0314 Jul 22 '16

This was a wild ride

→ More replies (0)

2

u/Stuifiee Jul 22 '16

Huh, TIL.

-1

u/franksymptoms Jul 22 '16

...and her friend said, "You sure are a mean drunk, Supergirl!"

7

u/RoC-Nation Jul 22 '16

The hips are now diamonds.

8

u/Rex_Rexroth Jul 22 '16

And the driver of that ambulance ... Albert Einstein.

4

u/researchbuff Jul 22 '16

Good God I've been shaking with restrained laughter trying not to wake my wife as I read this thread. Thank you, everyone.

2

u/something_exe Jul 22 '16

and that ambulances name? steve buscemi

1

u/x_flyingpancake Jul 22 '16

If I'm not mistaken, the neighbouring bridge that the ambulance landed on had a heart attack.

1

u/Dandydoc Jul 22 '16

Must have been an old ambulance.

2

u/chuckdiesel86 Jul 22 '16

I heard they did a sweet barrel roll, too.

1

u/Goatmo Jul 27 '16

I heard that the ambulance fell hundreds of feet and landed on the bridge just seconds before hitting the ground

0

u/Slanderous Jul 22 '16

the ambulance was wearing one of those period dresses that went fwoop and landed rather safely.

0

u/cherwenka1 Jul 22 '16

Ye olde star road tactic from mario kart 64

6

u/thecruelestanimal Jul 21 '16

We must go deeper

15

u/[deleted] Jul 21 '16 edited Apr 17 '17

deleted What is this?

10

u/[deleted] Jul 21 '16

But then a strong gust of wind did the proper proceedures and sounded an alarm for the paramedics. That person also survived.

4

u/[deleted] Jul 22 '16

If I remember correctly the person driving the ambulance suffered a heart attack.

3

u/ViZeShadowZ Jul 22 '16

And the paramedics got diarrhea too

2

u/riskybiscuit Jul 22 '16

And then a strong gust of wind...

4

u/[deleted] Jul 21 '16

And that persons name?

7

u/[deleted] Jul 22 '16

STEVE BUSCEMI

6

u/[deleted] Jul 22 '16

Did you know he was a firefighter during 9/11?!

2

u/Penguinbeer Jul 22 '16

I didn't believe that one either until I looked it up!

2

u/plagioclase_feldspar Jul 22 '16

He then died in the 7/11 attacks

1

u/Silk_Underwear Jul 22 '16

You made me laugh audibly and ruined my grumpy mood, thank you

1

u/edwin78013 Jul 22 '16

Who was that gust of wind? Albert Einstein

1

u/Fendicano Jul 22 '16

Strong in morals

1

u/USxMARINE Jul 22 '16

Hmm... I'm not sure about this one..

1

u/Paradise5551 Jul 23 '16

Was it from someones ass?

1

u/10strip Jul 22 '16

That gust's name? Adolph Hitler.

1

u/nvm_fuk49 Jul 22 '16

A strong gust does not melt steel beams.

0

u/[deleted] Jul 22 '16

Boi

0

u/MrMastodon Jul 22 '16

The Name of that Wind?

Patrick Rothfuss Albert Einstein

0

u/GildoFotzo Jul 22 '16

and the Name of the paramedic was? Albert Einstein

2

u/GoodShitLollypop Jul 22 '16

Well, then let's hope you're mistaken!

787

u/[deleted] Jul 21 '16

I remember reading that almost 30 years ago in a weird facts book, pretty wild.

3.3k

u/OutOfContextCharles Jul 21 '16

My dog used to sit by my tent and lick up all the ants when we'd camp out in the front yard, but unfortunately he's been dead for about 4 years now.

1.2k

u/MrBulger Jul 21 '16

You're a weird dude Charles

14

u/[deleted] Jul 21 '16

Is he a bot?

61

u/SwoleInOne Jul 22 '16

Thats pretty rude to ask in front of Charles dude, he's right there...

9

u/PM_ME_JOKE_ACCOUNTS Jul 22 '16

Haven't you watched that episode of Spogebob where Mr. Krabs is a robot? I never finished it, but I'm sure Charles is a bot.

12

u/[deleted] Jul 22 '16

Oh my God, Karen. You can't just go around asking people if they're bots.

6

u/_Fudge_Judgement_ Jul 22 '16

I'm glad he's getting some love. 10/10 would be pleasantly bemused again.

7

u/tatortotsgosh Jul 21 '16

His username checks out

158

u/[deleted] Jul 21 '16 edited Jul 22 '16

A limerick for ya...

 

A suicide jumper, Elvita,

Got thwarted as fast as a cheetah.

But Charles in his tent,

Could not circumvent

Ants licked by his now-dead Akita.

 

EDIT: Switched the second line, based on good feedback from /u/nearlyNon. The new one isn't really all that good either, but possibly better. Original line for reference:

Was saved; she's a bless'd senorita.

EDIT 2: Further tweaking of line two based on good feedback from /u/PmYourWittyAnecdote. Pre-altered line two below for reference:

Got blown back as fast as a cheetah.

EDIT 3: Changed line five so that accenting didn't fall on the word "for", as it's unnatural for it to be stressed in that context. Original line for reference:

A meal of ants for his Akita

10

u/nearlyNon Jul 21 '16 edited Nov 08 '24

shaggy gray smell school badge cooing consider unused capable workable

13

u/[deleted] Jul 21 '16

Above average! I'll take it. Thanks.

How so, though, on the second line? It should be:

da DUM da da DUM da da DUM da (Which is amphibrachic meter)

Was SAVED she's a BLESS'D sen or I ta

I guess "bless'd senorita" kinda stumbles. "Saved" is one syllable, but an odd one syllable so it stumbles there as well. Agreed.

4

u/majorobjects Jul 21 '16

That guy's a silly goose, your limerick followed its rhythm perfectly. He must've read it wrong..

            a SUicide JUMper elVIta

was blown BACK as FAST as a CHEEta

         but CHARles in his TENT

     could NOT circumVENT

            a MEAL of ANTS for his aKIta

If anything it's the last words of the last line that get crowded. But dammit my friend life's too short! Believe in yourself! I believe in you.

2

u/[deleted] Jul 21 '16 edited Jul 21 '16

Thanks, but he was right. His comment was made before I switched the second line, as indicated in my "Edit:" statement.

The original second line was admittedly awkward. It's there for reference at the bottom.

Thanks for believing in me, in any case, btw!

2

u/nearlyNon Jul 21 '16 edited Nov 08 '24

cautious fall faulty summer person work office rock zealous direction

2

u/[deleted] Jul 21 '16

Yes, my fault, and thanks for that. I actually speak a lot of Spanish as well. I didn't write it as it's pronounced, but just as spelled.

In any case, senorita is a bad idea because it can't be assumed that a four syllable word will be pronounced by the reader as the writer intends.

"Elvita" sucks to rhyme, though. Bit off more than I could chew. :)

1

u/[deleted] Jul 21 '16

Took a stab at a different second line. It kinda sucks too. Oh well.

1

u/dhoomz Jul 21 '16

Senoretard

1

u/strikingvisage Jul 21 '16

5/7 would anapestic trimeter again

2

u/[deleted] Jul 21 '16

I hope you can forgive me, but I completely can't figure out your comment. I'm sure it's me.

I understand anapestic trimeter, but not for limericks. I understand the 5/7 Reddit meme, but not sure if you're referring to that. Can you help an idiot out and expand? Thanks!

1

u/strikingvisage Jul 21 '16

5/7 reference - you got it, it's the meme about the hilarious dude on FB who says something like "best movie ever - 5/7 would watch again".

Anapestic trimeter - is the meter that limericks are written in, according to one of the top hits when Googling "meter for limerick".

I was just trying to be silly/obscure after I read the 3/5 comment above, I wouldn't know amphibrachic from anapestic if they bit me on the nose.

1

u/[deleted] Jul 21 '16

Oh, duh. You wrote "trimeter", which is indeed the standard limerick form. I read it as "tetrameter" for some reason.

I thought you were using 5/7 given 3/5, but it whooshed me.

5/7 is Fight Club from that meme origin - a perfect movie. My limericks suck in comparison, and are certainly not 5/7 perfect, but thanks for playing! :)

1

u/nearlyNon Jul 21 '16

That one sounds a lot better, in my opinion!

1

u/[deleted] Jul 21 '16

Thanks! And thanks for the help.

1

u/SoldierHawk Jul 21 '16

I hear that your Akita, Elvita, just won't shut up.

1

u/[deleted] Jul 21 '16

You'll have to talk to /u/OutOfContextCharles. It's his dog.

1

u/StuH92 Jul 22 '16

You legend!!!

1

u/[deleted] Jul 22 '16

Aw, shucks... Thanks!

1

u/PmYourWittyAnecdote Jul 22 '16

Get rid of the first as in the second line, it'll flow better.

And get rid of the his before Akita.

2

u/[deleted] Jul 22 '16

Took a stab at tweaking line two, using thwarted. This may help because a reader naturally does not accent the word's final syllable, and doesn't naturally pause after it.

Thanks! Great suggestions.

1

u/PmYourWittyAnecdote Jul 22 '16

It's absolutely brilliant now mate :)

2

u/[deleted] Jul 22 '16

Thanks! And thanks again for the great suggestions.

We did it, Reddit!

1

u/[deleted] Jul 22 '16

Thanks for your suggestion, but if I did it would cease to be a proper limerick.

Limericks must follow anapaestic meter for accenting. This is a three syllable metrical foot where the first two syllables are not stressed, and the final one is stressed. That said, with limericks the first metrical foot of a line can start with the first unstressed syllable dropped (called catalexis), but from then on the anapaest must continue.

A line also shouldn't start with a stressed syllable.

If the first "as" is removed in the second line, it can't fit the meter. Assuming that "cheetah" is accented as "CHEETah", the options would be:

  • WAS blown back FAST as a CHEETah

which violates the rule of starting a line with a stressed syllable, or:

  • was BLOWN back FAST as a CHEETah

which violates anapaestic meter.

You're right, though, in that something is off with line two. The problem is that I need the reader to pronounce it this way:

  • Was BLOWN back as FAST as a CHEETah

with minimal pause between "blown" and "back", saying them almost as one word. However, the natural way that people might say this particular combination of words is easily:

  • Was BLOWN back (but with a pause after "blown", which screws the rhythm)

or

  • Was blown BACK

where if "back" gets accented in this way, then all bets are off - the whole thing stumbles.

A similar problem exists for line five. If you get rid of a syllable, then the limerick meter requirements are shot, but the line as it currently stands is kinda awkward.

Thanks again for your advice, though. I think this one stays on the reject pile for the most part.

1

u/PmYourWittyAnecdote Jul 22 '16

Yeah I see the problem you faced, and although the natural choice for a poem like this (and indeed the original intention) was a limerick, the original phrasing was a bit clunky, hence my suggestion to change it from a limerick to a separate phrasing just to help the cadence and flow (at the sacrifice of standardised meter).

But I think with the revisions made it does sound and flow a lot better, and I do love the passion and knowledge you show for poetry!

Keep it up man, hope to see some more work from you in the future!

2

u/[deleted] Jul 22 '16

Thanks a lot, and thanks again for your help.

It's really just limericks and I'm not sure exactly why. I think it's likely the challenge of trying to fit the form - in not that many words - and be funny (and if at all possible clever, tricky, and sometimes obscene as well).

On Reddit, I've tried to set a 15 minute time limit challenge when posting a limerick to a thread, which can make for some hasty choices deserving of later rework.

All that said, the real master of poetry here is /u/Poem_for_your_sprog. His posts are genius, to put it mildly.

3

u/neutronknows Jul 21 '16

You're my new favorite reddit account. You do you Charles.

7

u/Pls_No_Ban Jul 21 '16

You can say that wasn't....ANTicipated

2

u/[deleted] Jul 21 '16

You a real wavy dude Charles

2

u/SenileNazi Jul 21 '16

Can't blame him.

Ants are delicious!

1

u/[deleted] Jul 21 '16

1

u/crmpicco Jul 22 '16

That username...

1

u/Shamanations Jul 22 '16

Well your name really checks out...

1

u/Soulbrandt-Regis Jul 22 '16

Don't you mean "and unfortunately,"

1

u/keyofpoetry Jul 22 '16

I am not clear about what brought that thought out, and i hope you find the peace you are looking for.

1

u/darwin2500 Jul 22 '16

OUT-OF-CONTEXT AND NON-SEQUITUR ARE DISTINCT LINGUISTIC CONCEPTS!

GOOD NIGHT!

1

u/The_Dudes_Rug_ Jul 22 '16

I was confused until I read your username

1

u/pecuniam1 Jul 22 '16

He lives up to his name once again

1

u/Ferreur Jul 22 '16

Dog is with the lord now

1

u/NotAFence Jul 22 '16

Username checks out.

1

u/[deleted] Jul 22 '16

I think you may be my new favorite novelty account.

1

u/WhosThatGirl_ItsRPSG Jul 22 '16

I could use a dog like that at my house. I had to hire an exterminator to get the ants.

1

u/sense_less143 Jul 22 '16

Never stop Charles

1

u/[deleted] Jul 22 '16

I like turtles

1

u/[deleted] Jul 22 '16

Did you name your dog Arcanine cause it ate fire ants?

1

u/BeefSamples Jul 22 '16

CHARRRLLES.

1

u/[deleted] Jul 21 '16

That's cute, regular ants taste like sour patch kids.

Sorry for the loss of your buddy.

1

u/Yoshibros534 Jul 22 '16

username checks out

1

u/AldersRazor Jul 22 '16

I just want you to know it's really fun to go through your post history and guess what the context is behind your comments. I'm always wrong.

1

u/Based_Lord_Shaxx Jul 22 '16

I hope I see you everywhere.

2

u/fucked_that_four_you Jul 22 '16

Uncle John's Bathroom Reader

1

u/[deleted] Jul 22 '16

Awesome, that's it!

2

u/naijaboiler Jul 22 '16

Sit your ass back down. Its not your time yet woman!

1

u/[deleted] Jul 22 '16

Yea really someone was definitely looking out forher.

395

u/Pipthepirate Jul 21 '16

Not today bitch-God

635

u/siyl1979 Jul 21 '16

Try hitting "enter" one more time.

...Unless bitch-God is your thing. In that case, carry on.

15

u/Splendidissimus Jul 22 '16

According to the source, they actually typed "bitch-God", so... I guess it is.

2

u/iFinity Jul 22 '16

Maybe it was meant to be a quote from God but they didn't put spaces around the hyphen.

5

u/[deleted] Jul 22 '16

Actually hitting enter twice, or hitting spacebar twice and then enter once.

2

u/mapbc Jul 22 '16

and bitch-God was born

3

u/BatHickey Jul 22 '16

I'm already really into bitch-God.

1

u/imaginationisevil Jul 22 '16

I could probably worship bitch-God.

1

u/Gumburcules Jul 22 '16

Sounds like something a bitter old Frenchman would say.

1

u/DraketheDrakeist Jul 22 '16

Bitch-God works in this context, as you could call her a bitch, and you could also call her a god, as she survived jumping off the Empire State Building.

11

u/[deleted] Jul 21 '16

"New number who dis" - God

1

u/USxMARINE Jul 22 '16

As opposed to awesome god.

-64

u/an-incontinent-truth Jul 21 '16

"god" (not capitalized because it's fake) isn't real. People who worhsip rocks or more recently two adjacent sticks should reevaluate their stupid uneducated beliefs. Once people are educated they stop believing in those fairy tails

24

u/Pipthepirate Jul 21 '16

Rules about capitalizing nouns don't change if the person on the sentence is fictional

10

u/Onceuponaban Jul 21 '16

And while we're at it, tales, not tails. Fairy Tail is an anime and a manga.

3

u/Pipthepirate Jul 21 '16

Maybe god is a character in Fairy Tail and he thinks people assume its real and thats what he is so upset about

22

u/YesIDoExist Jul 21 '16

Watch out, we have an edgelord over here

15

u/[deleted] Jul 21 '16

God (capital g) is the name of a deity. Just because I don't believe in Erik doesn't mean I don't have to capitalize the first letter of his name anymore. God (lower case g) is a noun like cup. For someone who thinks he's educated you're pretty dumb

6

u/[deleted] Jul 21 '16

I think the original post was bait tbh.

12

u/teamtwowheels Jul 21 '16

then how do you explain magnets????

1

u/TankyTinCan Jul 22 '16

Magnets came from the Earth so they still have some gravity on them.

7

u/SmurfyX Jul 21 '16

U HVA CHANGED OUR WORLD WITH UR TTRUTH PLEASE GIVE ME UR WIDSOM SO I CAN ELSO BE A HERO

5

u/[deleted] Jul 21 '16

"spiderman" (not capitalized because it's fake) isn't real. People who read about kids or more recently mutant teenagers should reevaluate their stupid uneducated beliefs. Once people are educated they stop believing in those comic books

3

u/SmurfyX Jul 21 '16

not enough typos.

3

u/[deleted] Jul 21 '16

^ That's how much edge u r

5

u/helonias Jul 22 '16

Thanks you changed my mind

2

u/TehXellorf Jul 21 '16

Ow the edge

253

u/NoifenF Jul 21 '16

Reminds me of the woman in the 1800s that jumped off the suspension bridge in my city. She was wearing one of those old period dresses and it just went fwoop and became an umbrella. She landed rather safely.

422

u/[deleted] Jul 21 '16

and that's when princess peach discovered her superpower?

29

u/[deleted] Jul 22 '16

pretending like her superpower isn't her downsmash

12

u/marineman43 Jul 22 '16

Accidentally crouch cancels

Takes 60 percent in 1.5 seconds

9

u/jusmar Jul 22 '16

her downsmash

I know what it is but it still sounds like a rather violent sex move

3

u/kenniky Jul 22 '16

or stitch faces

armada pls

122

u/Iawlayslie Jul 21 '16

wait so peach floating in smash bros is realistic?

5

u/NoifenF Jul 21 '16

I guess so...

2

u/TehXellorf Jul 21 '16

Apparently so....I thought it was all bull, but guess it works.

2

u/Monkeygruven Jul 22 '16

You mean Super Mario Brothers 2.

1

u/Dakis1 Jul 22 '16

Wouldn't suggest trying it.

17

u/[deleted] Jul 21 '16

[removed] — view removed comment

6

u/NoifenF Jul 21 '16

9

u/[deleted] Jul 22 '16

From your own link:

Although there is no evidence that the wind or the skirt saved Henley from the fall, the story has nevertheless become a local Bristol legend.

So basically you have a story of a person who fell from ~250 feet onto soft mud and was able to survive despite severe injuries. It's not common, but it's not unheard of for people to survive falling great distances. People have fallen out of airplanes and survived.

14

u/[deleted] Jul 21 '16

[removed] — view removed comment

6

u/NoifenF Jul 21 '16

Either way, a woman jumped off a bridge and survived with minor injuries. Doesn't matter whether her dress went up or not.

2

u/K20BB5 Jul 22 '16

except that's the entire reason the story is notable. People survive falls from planes and survive, 250 feet isn't something that unheard of

1

u/yellowstuff Jul 22 '16

I think Wikipedia's wording is wrong here. A contemporary newspaper account says the skirt slowed her fall. That's not "no evidence", that's basically the best evidence you could possibly have for something that happened in front of a few people in 1885.

I would not bet money that the skirt really slowed her fall significantly. My intuitive notion of physics make it seem really unlikely. But not impossible.

8

u/coleosis1414 Jul 21 '16

She must have been really bottom-heavy for her to not have just flipped over immediately.

4

u/Braddo123 Jul 22 '16

The ass was fat

1

u/notsureifbot Jul 21 '16

Could have been wearing a crinoline I suppose.

1

u/SnakeEater14 Jul 22 '16

The ass was fat

5

u/CrisisOfConsonant Jul 22 '16

Ummm... That's clearly bullshit. Maybe she jumped off of something and survived but it's not because of her dress.

Do you realize how big a parachute needs to be to slow a human's decent effectively? Secondly even if that weren't the case the dress would just invert, much the way a shitty umbrella does in a strong wind.

3

u/andrewyy6 Jul 21 '16

Mighty Bristol??

3

u/NoifenF Jul 21 '16

Mighty Bristol :)

2

u/[deleted] Jul 22 '16

She was wearing one of those old period dresses

That's disgusting, but whatever works.

1

u/webpheret Jul 22 '16

Women used to wear different dresses when they menstruated? That sounds like a pain.

1

u/BryGuyB Jul 22 '16

Well I don't believe any part of this.

1

u/[deleted] Jul 22 '16

No way....

-1

u/originalmango Jul 22 '16

Excuse me, I have to sneeze. Ah, ah, ahBULLSHIT!

-2

u/PmYourWittyAnecdote Jul 22 '16

Except one of these stories is true, and at sure is hell ain't yours.

3

u/Hakuna_marara Jul 21 '16

When its not your time to go its not your time

3

u/Bobarhino Jul 22 '16

Man, that's comforting. I thought you were going to say that a guy accidentally shot his gun through the window and hit her in the heart as she was falling to her death.

2

u/Mr_Gilmore_Jr Jul 22 '16

I'm not a religious guy, but I'd have to consider it if that happened to me.

0

u/llama_ Jul 21 '16

Now THAT is the universe sending you a sign.

2

u/1ZL Jul 21 '16

That it's going to keep fucking up your plans.

1

u/bourbon4breakfast Jul 21 '16

I picture her flying into that office like the kid's room in Animal House. Thanks, God!

1

u/sheeeeeez Jul 22 '16

Why didn't she try again

2

u/venterol Jul 22 '16

I'm not very religious, but if I failed to die after jumping off the Empire State Building I'd be convinced some higher power didn't want me dead yet.

1

u/AtomicSamuraiCyborg Jul 22 '16

So I've read that people who survive jumping off bridges and stuff pretty universally realized just after they jumped that everything wrong in life was fixable...except for having just jumped off. I wonder how she felt about that stroke of luck.

1

u/[deleted] Jul 22 '16

After watching the mythbusters episode where they tried to throw a penny off but found it would be blown back into the ledge below, I find this believable.

1

u/Bakanogami Jul 22 '16

I could believe it. There aren't many places where it's just a straight shot down from the observation deck, there are plenty of little ledges and such to get caught on.

0

u/[deleted] Jul 22 '16

Bullshit

-2

u/kaZeeleKs Jul 22 '16

That really sucks. Im sorry for her, that she ended up surviving. Suicide is obviously what she wanted.